1/20/07 entry
Dear Diary,

So much for being on track...*cowers* This week was...busy? That's the only excuse I can make. To compensate for my lack of correspondence, I decided to write to you earlier today. [part deleted]

I will give you the benefit of my emotions since my bad memory is too unreliable to even try to remember what happened during the week. I'm thinkig about writing a new song, but one that doesn't have to do with Orange Dot. I think love songs (or should I say like songs?) are too much of a crutch. The real challenge is to write about something else...but what? I know! Weirdomness! Ugg, but what I'm thinking about doing has a little to do with Tapeworm. Oh well! It's good enough! I'm not going to write the song here because that's not the purpose of you. I have a pretty journal for that. However, I'll show you some of my song:


My Call to Weirdomness

[song deleted- *cough* aren't I oh so nice?]

That's all I've got so far. Weird, huh? Oh, but that's what I wanted, you see! I can't have a normal call to weirdomness, a normal song about weirdomness. It's got to be weirdom! xD Maybe you can guess where Old Rock comes in. I sort of hinted it...

Anyway, I'll talk/write to you later.

Sincerely, Jessica xDD

1/15/07 entry
Dear, dear Diary,

I'm back on track again! It feels so good to write evrything down; it's like I have an ear to listen to my thoughts, but that's it. Just an ear, not a mouth. I had guitar today. I didn't play so horridly considering I only practiced for 10 minutes. Carlos was talking about Starbucks versus Peet's and about Frappuccinos...

[part deleted] I'm proud to tell you that I haven't thought of Tapeworm or Joanne, or any other guys for that matter today. [part deleted] I take that as a good sign.

[paragraph deleted]

After dinner, Mom told me that I got a C on some standards test in English. I had no idea what she was talking about until she said "Maybe it's a quiz." The worst came! Well, at least I knew the quiz was hard. And...at least I passed it? Hopefully AR will bring my grade up, which reminds me that I should finish A Separate Peace tonight. [part deleted]

Life is unbearable. Yet I can't help but think it's worth living for. [part deleted] When I grow up and I have children, I'll just want them to be happy & healthy. Who cares if they're not rich and successful? As long as they're happy, life is worth living for. Oh my, I'm rambling on about psychological theories and deep stuff! xD. I can't help it! Let me just finish the thought. If my future children are miserable but filthy rich, what is the money going to do for them? Absolutely nothing. Sure, it's possible to be successful and happy, and I welcome the combination. I'm just saying that wealth isn't worth living for. There, no more deep stuff.

This doesn't count as thinking of Old Rock, okay? When I did my vocabulary lesson, I just knew that I had to use two words from the lesson to describe Orange Dot. Infantile- as immature as an infant. That one makes me crack up xD. Puerile- childish, immature. Yep, soooo Tapewormish! And...Tapeworm is not worthy of veneration! I know, I'm a genius! *cough* not.

I haven't written much, but I'm all out of ideas. Back to psychological theories? No! Musn't...think...of...weird...deep...stuff!!

Oh, but I must! xD It's just my mood right now, so accept it, okay? This comes from A Separate Peace. Finny believes (or so Gene says) that if you're truly good at something, it comes naturally. So when Gene said that he had to study for a French test, Finny said, "I don't understand." Do you understand, Diary? Don't take this offensively, but of course you don't. How is a mere diary going to understand this "deep stuff" seeped into every page of this thought-provoking book? Well, let me try to explain as best as I know how. Finny is a natural at sports; without practicing a day in his life, he broke a school swimming record. Gene is at the top of his class in academics, so it's easy to see why Finny would assume that Gene is a natural at academics. Weird, huh? Another one of Finny's weird theories is that the war that was taking place was fake. He said that some rich old fat guys made it up to make them miserable. As Gene said (this is not a direct quotation) "Finny's ideas should be true, but they aren't." I'm doing a terrible job of giving this wonderful book justice, so I'll stop right now.

Vent to you tomorrow! =)

Sincerely,
Jessica =D

P.S: Mom says lights out at 9! GRRRR! Why so early?!

1/14/07 entry
Dear Diary,

I told you it was impossible for me to write daily in a diary! (hence the date) Luckily, I only skipped a day and for good reasons too. Yesterday I was taken (along with my sister, Alexis) to Dipti's house (she's Alexis's friend) because my mom was going to L.A. for a night to go to this party for her sister, and my dad, as you probably know, is in Virginia. I couldn't possibly take you to Dipti's house! I wouldn't even entertain the ludicrous idea!

So, anyways, at Dipti's house I read A Separate Peace for a little bit. Dipti's mom suggested that I read outside in the sun, which I did until it got too cold. When I came inside, I played Scrabble with Alexis, Dipti, & Anjali. Anjali got upset with Dipti halfway through the game and threw her tiles at her, reducing our total number of players to 3. I came in last place, go figure.

Then we ate lunch (burritos). Dipti's mom kept feeding me burritos left and right! By the time I was finished, I was so full [part deleted] that I couldn't even move. After lunch, I went to go see Anjali's basketball game. Her team was okay, and Anjali shot a lot of the points. It ended 14-20, the former being Anjali's team's score. Afterwards, I played basketball with Anjali and her friend for half an hour and discovered that I was terribly rusty.

The rest of the visit will be described lazily: food, food, food, food, reading, game, movie, movie, sleep! Yay!

This morning (still at Dipti's house) we watched the beginning of Rang de Basanti, an Indian movie (but of course, we put on English subtitles). [part deleted, but reader should know that Mom picked me up]

At home, Mom left to go to Walnut Creek, and Alexis checked to see if our recording of SNL worked. We found that it did and watched it. The musical guest was the Shins (YAY!!!!), and Alexis turned up the volume and sang along with them. They're not as good live, but at least they're not like Ashley Simpson. After SNL, I went downstairs to watch the rest of Rang de Basanti (yes, Dipti's mom loaned it to us) It was extremely long, and after about 2 1/2 hours through it, Mom came home and saw the gory scenes. She saw Karan killing his father, and exclaimed, "Is he killing his father?!" I confirmed it, but told her that she had to watch the whole movie to understand why. The rest of the day...hmm..well, I went on the computer to chat with friends and entered selections of my previous entries of this diary [part deleted]

I thought of Joanne for a while and how I ever began to think that I liked him. I don't think I do. As I told Lynn, "As soon as Tapeworm comes back, I won't like him."

I feel bad that I didn't get any of my homework done. And ugg! I have guitar tomorrow too!

Tonight we watched Eragon at the Union City theatre. It was okay; the book was much better. And I'm tired...so goodbye!

Sincerely, Jessica =)

1/12/07 entry
Dearest Diary, (eww, I sound like Anne Frank)

I was so frantic in my attempt to find you! You've really helped me emotionally (weird, I know, since you don't do anything), and I'm afraid I need some more "therapy." Back to the search! Oh yes, I looked all over my temporary cardboard bookshelves, but you were nowhere to be found! In a last desperate attempt, I found you between some chapter books.

Since I'd feel stupid rambling on about psychological theories and deep stuff like that, I'm just going to give you an account of my day. That seems safe enough.

This morning was okay- I got ready on time and glanced at some of the equations I needed to know for the science test. See, I told you I'm a terrible procrastinator! [part deleted] Spanish was fine; I got 7 stamps. [part deleted]In P.E., I was freezing my tail off! Old Rock wasn't here today, and I found myself thanking the circumstances since I had to play his team in rugby (we tied). Yep, and I FROZE! Seriously, I didn't have sweats! Okay, enough of that. Third period- science with Crickmore. Josephine's mom subbed today. We had a test that wasn't particularly hard, but I don't think I got 100%. Math- we had a classwork activity that cut into my lunchtime (and Josephine's). Some people were standing around "our pole" at lunch, so we sat at a different one. Of course I saw "The Guy That I Couldn't Stop Staring At," Joanne, I think is his girl name. He's everywhere, and I have to deal with Lynn labeling him practically every minute. He's EVERYWHERE! ...and Orange Dot's absent...I can't be starting to like him?! Maybe that's good, since I don't want to like Old Rock. [part deleted]. (about Joanne) Not only don't I know him well & never talked to him, but I'm not even sure he knows I exist! Why am I rambling on about this?! I thought this was supposed to be an account of my day!...I can't possibly like a guy I barely even know! He's kind of cute though. He has long hair, and I usually find that unnatractive but...he has a certain charm to him, I guess. And he's smart. Perfect, right? So un-Tapewormish right? Wrong! [part deleted] Let me continue...

English- we got our 3 perspective papers back. I got an 87. Not tooooo bad. And none of my sentences were in her little list. (although this sentence would be)History- dull. We didn't correct homework. I don't want to waste time talking about this boring subject...

After school, we saw Joanne again (duh!), and Lynn kept labelling him. He's everywhere, Diary, everywhere! I told Lynn and Josephine, "No wonder why I couldn't stop staring at him. He's everywhere!" My carpool (Esther, Kristina, Diba & I)walked home, and when we got to Mission, the bell rang...so we weren't too late. I just finished eating spaghetti (sp?) and my mom was bugging me to go with her to Office Max. [part deleted] Art class @ Marvegos is at 5:30, so I still have a bit of time left. I'm painting a camoflauge of butterflies that's kind of hard to understand unless you see it yourself. I have this HUGE canvas, but I'm dissapointed in my painting so far.

[paragraph deleted]

I want Tapeworm to come back to school. I surprise myself in saying that. I wonder what's keeping him. I guess I should explain his names that I've chosen for this diary.

Orange Dot- on "Mix It Up Day," we had to collect these weird stickers from people, the whole point being for us to meet new people. Only, we mostly got them from friends...But, the hardest sticker to find was the orange dot. I became obsessed with trying to find it. Lynn thought I was trying to cover up Tapeworm with it. Anyways, I called on Jamie for help (haha!). She found one on the floor and soon after suggested the connection between the orange dot and Tapeworm. So Tapeworm became "Orange Dot." It stuck, and I like it!

Old Rock- Originally, it was just "Rock," but Lynn wanted to use the name for Courtney. We still use the term without "old," but it gets quite confusing, so I stick with "Old Rock." The meaning is simple- he's as stupid as a rock!

Tapeworm- This is the new name that we chose to replace "Rock," supposedly because he's contagious, and everyone's connected to him. And it sounds nasty, like him, so there.

I've written a lot, and my hand is hurting! Don't worry, I'm sure I can vent tomorrow! =)

Sincerely,
Jessica

Entry 1/11/07
Hello! I'm going to share some of my diary with you. I write it down in this cute little diary I got from Morning Glory! Some of it's too personal, though, so I will only share selected parts.

Dear Diary,

I seem to have the disgusting habit of waiting at least a year to write to you. You should know that I'm 13, in 8th grade now. And...I should probably be doing my homework, but I'm a horrid procrastinator. [part deleted because reader wouldn't understand] Also, forgive me, because I will use you for venting purposes.

[3 paragraphs deleted because they're too personal](part from one of the paragraphs) Oh, dear Diary, life is depressing!

I hate to diverge to another subject, especially since it pales in comparison to [part deleted]
I hope you understand, Diary. I like someone, and I'm not quite sure why. For paranoia purposes, I will call him either Tapeworm, Old Rock, or Orange Dot. He is nasty, immature, and not even that cute. Then why do I like him? Oh Diary, I wish I could tell you, but I don't even know! Which brings me to the numerous poems and songs that I've written about him, or the feelings that he's roused inside of me. Maybe I was exaggerating about his ugly characteristics, but he really isn't the Prince Charming that I've always dreamed of! [part deleted]
My weird logic that I tell my friends is that I like him, but I don't wnat him to like me back. Oh, there's more! If he happened to like me, I wouldn't like him anymore. I guess my weirdom brain conjured this to compensate for liking a complete & total idiot. [part deleted] I keep telling myself that I despise him, that I only thought I liked him. But that would be lying, and I don't want my brain to be a jumble of lies.

I'm just sad and confused about everything! Thank you for letting me vent.

Sincerely, Jessica