Saturday,August 09, 2003
I can't stand my parents. They installed a filter on my computer. It won't let me type anything! And they can see everything that I do. They now know all of my passwords to my sites and this blog. I feel so untrusted. I mean, what did I do to deserve this?! Nothing absolutely nothing. Thursday,August 07, 2003
Augh! I can't stand cramps! I so wish mom would let me get on the pill, but nooooo she won't let me. No more cramps and one period every three months! Bliss. But no. Apparently she thinks that if she lets me on the pill,then I'll go around and start having with every single boy that I see. Sure mom, yeah.
I got to RP with Ryu today. He loves me even though I'm a 'sexist' bitch, and I love him even though he's a bipolar prat. I still think that he needs to get a blog or something. Oh me gots to go now. Bai.

Wednesday,August 06, 2003
That boy is so emotionally constipated! I love him, but he is. Maybe he's bipolar or something, cause his moods change from second to second. And he's Buddhist.I never knew that. The people that you meet on Neopets. Tsk, tsk, tsk.
I'm waiting for Ashley to come and pick me up, so we can go to her house. Yay! I finally get to play FFIX. [Ryu says it sucks but I think he's just in a male PMS thing.]Hmm.. Nothing else is going on. But I want to stop off at Dustin's and see his hair and how tall he is and hear his voice.. I don't really care what he does, I just want to see him befor orientation. -drool- I can't wait.

Tuesday,August 05, 2003
I feel like a jerk. I have no social skills at all. None, zip, zero, nadda. God! Now he's mad at me, and I don't like it! Having someone mad at me is not on my list of happy things. No, it's on my list of 'this is my own personal Hellmouth' things. I h@te it when people are mad at me. Dustin finally got over something that I didn't even do, and now Ryu's mad at me. God. I feel like breaking down and crying. I feel bad inside and I can't stand it. Why couldn't I just keep my mouth shut?! Why? I always have to open my mouth. He didn't do anything wrong! So this whole thing; this is my fault! Mine completely. I said I was sorry, but he lives aross the Atlantic Ocean! What else is there for me to do? If I lived over there, yes, I would think of something. But look at me! I'm stuck here in Houston where its so hot people are frickin' dying from it. I swear. I have a talent. I can make people mad that don't even live on the same damn continent as I do. I'm just so so so so so so sorry. But I don't even know why I'm putting all of this in here for. Nobody reads it, the people that matter to me anyways.


Monday,August 04, 2003
I can't believe that I said that to Ryu. I said something that.. stupid. "Men are evil." Isn't it amazing how those three little words can ruin a perfectly good friendship? Of course, we got into a civil arguement. (He's always civil. He's from England. Or is that just a stereotypical statement? Ryu says he's ugly, but I don't think someone that nice could be that ugly. Besides, who am I to judge? I think I'm hideous also.) It sorta veered towards what happened in the past. I told him I hadn't seen my real father for, oh say.. fourteen years. Then he told me he doesn't believe anything beause of his past experiences. And I respect that, although I haven't done anything to earn his distrust. Have I? I'm also too shy to give him the web addy to my blog, so he can 'see' what's going on in my life.. I think that he needs one. So he can just let it all out. He doesn't seem like the type for the pent-up rage and anger, but you never know. Damn. I really wish that I hadn't said that.. What's done is done and you can't change the past. If only. I really value his friendship, as weird as that seems. Most people that I meet on the internet are just people to talk to and our relationship never really develops past that, but with a certain few, like Ryu, Jerrod, Brit, and Oliver, it just clicks. We're friends like that. I mean yes we get into fights and I'm bad to hold grudges but we always get over it. Their friendship is a good thing ot have cause I feel like I can talk about anything with these people. Like my friends in real life, Ashley, Katie, and Meredith. It took a year for me to get over 'hating' Katie, but that was because we liked the same person. With Meredith, I didn't have anyone to sit with on the first day of eighth grade because my friends(now former, they were talking behind my back) had transferred to a different school. So I went up to her and said "Hi. My names Kerby. Who are you? Can I sit with you? Good, I'm sitting down now." Friends. We even had a 'club'. The Evil, Loud Communist Penguins. (Please don't ask. It started with socks.) Then with Ashley, I was the new kid on the block and didn't have any friends. Our mom's met and we became really really good friends. We actually were going to spend the night at her house but her dad got sick, so we couldn't. Me and Ashley still hold it against him to this day. It's funny how friends get together, there are so many different ways. But I'm hungry, so I'm going to contemplate the stuff that makes up friendship over a nice bowl of cookies and cream ice cream. Yum..