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Queen Mo's Blog
Tuesday, 16 September 2003
can't make up my mind
Once i'm like it's all over, he's playing me for a fool, and then it's the usual oh no we're meant to be and we're gonna end up together and all. Oh my god when will this story end and how will it end? I don't wanna lose him & that's for sure. I miss him so much but i'm scared everything has changed and we will never get the chance to get back together. He's not even online. I so wish he were so that we could talk...

Well, today wasn't a big day. Anouk has been back to school for two days now. Poor her! It must be kinda hard to go to a school where you don't know anyone. Plus, it mustn't be so much fun to live alone. I would like to live alone. Who could i talk to? It seems like it's going alright for her though. She just doesn't like her school and i think she told me she misses HS very much. I guess it's not the same atmosphere at all. She will get used to it and meet new people very soon. If not, she'll have to wait until next here when manon & i move there. ;-)

I had to take the "magic pill" again last night. I had not taken it since school had started. I didn't want to take it but i was feeling so sleepy and weird that i did. Actually, i was sleeping when Mel went to bed and woke me up. I think she did so much noise that it woke me up! lol I was so so tired but couldn't fall back asleep. I was feeling anxious. I waited 15 minutes or so and then i decided to take it. I guess i feel asleep very quickly because i can't remember what happened after i had taken it. I slept very very well but it was so hard to get up this morning! Anyway, i start school at 10 tomorrow morning so i will have more time to sleep.



Posted by blog/bebedior at 8:03 PM MEST
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Monday, 22 September 2003 - 5:44 PM MEST

Name: late answer, i know ...

My little sweetie and her ledgendary dilemmas ! God it's been years she's asked herself questions and still she hasn't come to any decision, any FINAL decision i mean !lol! A shame for her, cuz she'd really need to knw where she is to know where she will go and feel less confused. She's the kind to need to know where things lead and plan everything, although she loves surpizes !lol! The paradoxical Monika ! Lol ! anyway, this strory won't be solved until she is ready to give up on her beloved Tommy. Loving is learning to let go sometimes, even though it's hard, and i've told her for ages, but the feeling's just too strong. She loves her Tommy so much that passion is taking over rational thoughts. I cannot help wondering how she's been taking it without even crumbling down, really.
It's going fine for me in college. I mean i still can go to my bro's place whenever i want and all, and the tasks i am studying are soooo cool for now at least. I'm not missing high school, but the people i knew there (only my friends, of course). I like college pretty much : teachers don't pay attention to you there and most of all just don't treat you like a child. That's the big difference here, and that's why i think people who have had no freedom before go crazy and party every night. I mean in high school you cannot do anything you want and people always think u're not adult and all, always behind ur back. Here teachers dunno you at all, and you have no parents at home to tell you to work or not to go out and all. That's cool but i understand some people go crazy, really !!! I'm fine on my own as well, it's only the beginning though !lol!
Hope my little miss ain't getting anxious again, cuz seems like she's been better lately.Things will be much better next year when she's out of her family and all...that's for sure and i cannot wait for it !lol :))

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