| The Truth About My Eating Disorder | |||||||||||||||
| or should I say... | |||||||||||||||
| Exposing The Assembly of Divine Reality Cult |
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| On
Tuesday, 2/25/03, I sent the following message to a BUNCH of people in
my bible class, some of my friends, family, the GBI, and a BUNCH of news
media-types. Feel free to post it on your website. By the way, thank
you, Ed, for posting that information about WCG on the internet!) Greetings! My heart is pounding right now as I sit here typing this message. I've been living in fear for the past seven years and that fear has intensified tremendously during this past year. What I'm about to share with you will shock some people and anger others. Some people will simply delete this message and others will be so moved with anger that they might try to retaliate against me and my daughter. My daughter and I have been gripped with this fear for too long now. I've actually developed an eating disorder as a result of this fear and even passed out once in front of a bunch of people. Recently, I've decided that the only way for me to relieve myself of this fear is to go public with it for all things done in secret must be brought to light (Ephesians 5:11-13). Seven years ago, I was introduced to an organization called The Assembly of Divine Reality, Inc. which used to meet at 4110 Old Dixie Hwy. in Hapeville, GA. There are four branches of this school. It's headquarters are in Birmingham, AL and the satellite branches are here in Atlanta, GA (presently meeting at the Clayton County Water Authority), in Tuscaloosa, AL and in Anniston, AL. We stopped meeting at 4110 Old Dixie Hwy because that building was burned down to the ground in December 2002. So I was introduced to this organization seven years ago and was immediately intrigued by their doctrine. They encouraged people to "do your own research" and "check these things out". They often said, "Don't take our word for it. You check these things out for yourself to see if we are telling you the truth." The opening speaker at every class (referred to as the moderator) always says, "do a MINOR investigation". Well, I've been checking things out that are said in that class, but I didn't stop at a "minor" investigation. I've decided to do a FULL investigation and so far, I've come across a whole bunch of things that will make you say...Hmmm! I liked the fact that they SAY "do your own research", but I wondered why they ALSO SAY "your search is over". Oh really? Says who? If I'm doing my own research, shouldn't I be the one to determine when my search is over? The ministers in this organization encourage people to question the many doctrines which are taught in Christianity, but they discourage us from questioning their doctrine. How many times have I heard ministers stand up in front of the class and say that we shouldn't inquire about their parent organization, IDMR(which is The Institute of Divine Metaphysical Research)? How many times have we been told to keep the past in the past, don't air out their dirty laundry, endeavor to "show the mystery, not the misery" of the organization? Is it because they are afraid that such inquiries will help people see that they are really just another form of the Worldwide Church of God which was run by Herbert W. Armstrong? So a few names and titles were changed to protect the guilty and a few elements of the doctrine was snipped and tucked here and there, but if you really examine these three organizations (The Worlwide Church of God, The Institute of Divine Metaphysical Research, and The Assembly of Divine Reality), you'll come to realize that "these three are one". In order to see the unity of these superficially separate organizations, you have to take some time to first learn how to DISCERN CULT BEHAVIOR. In fact, I typed those three words into the keyword box on Yahoo and found some very interesting webpages such as these: http://www.freedomofmind.com/resources/responsibility/questions.htm http://www.hourtoempower.com/Part6a.html http://prophetic.net/false1.htm http://www.spiritwatch.org/cultmyths.htm http://www.csj.org/pub_affnews/affnews12.html http://www.webzonecom.com/ccn/cults/churcult.txt http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/2x2info_namelesshousesect/mindcont.htm A common theme on these web pages is that cults operate by some basic principles: Mind/Thought Control, Emotional Control, Information Control, and Environmental Control. The Assembly of Divine Reality operates this way, too. Here's how: Mind/Thought Control - If your way of thinking deviates from their doctrine, then you have been "tricked by the devil". If you've been a member for some time and question the authorities in this organization, then you are "going against Yahweh" because the devil put thoughts into your head and is "trying to pull you back out into the world". So when you see or hear something that causes you to raise an eyebrow, you are not to trust your own instincts about the situation. Instead, you start telling yourself that "that's just the devil trying to trick me". Speaking of TRUST, we are not to trust ANYBODY outside of the Assembly because they have not been exposed to "the truth". "They" are suspect. But then again...well, sometimes you do have to rely on the Holy Spirit in them. However, if they try to talk you into questioning anything taught in this school, then you dissassociate yourself from them ("us" vs. "them"). Emotional Control - FEAR is a very strong emotion. We have been told time and time again that if we reject their doctrine, we "will go straigh to the LAKE OF FIRE". Even the charts on their walls (in front of your face if you are a visitor who has to sit on the front row) have fire painted around each picture, like a frame. They frequently direct your attention to this circle of fire which surrounds each chart. Well, nobody wants to end up in a lake of fire to burn for an eternity, right? (Interestingly enough, that concept is from Greek Mythology, which borrowed it from Egyptian Mythology - FYI.) So we're all scared to venture outside of those charts, outside of their "one and only true gospel", outside of "the camp", etc ad nauseum because we will surely end up in THE LAKE OF FIRE. (Another interesting point to make here is that there is no mention of a "lake of fire" in the law or the prophets, but in this class we are told to listen to Isaiah 8:20 which says, "To the law and to the prophets, if they do not speak according to this word, it is because there is no light in them". This imaginary lake is only mentioned in Luke and in Revelations according to Strong's Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible.) We're not just scared, we also feel GUILTY for even thinking such thoughts. We feel guilty for even having a nagging feeling that maybe, just maybe, something's not right here. Why is this organization ruling by FEAR? Why not rule with LOVE? Why do they have to scare people into total submission or else risk being emotionally shunned and losing out on our eternal life? Quite often, the Dean (or one of his minions) will get up and say that there are people out to get him, people who are against the Bishop. For years, I thought, "Now who would want to say a mean thing about someone who so generously shares the truth with us? They must be tricked by the devil." People instinctively care about others. We don't want to see anyone get hurt. We always want to stick up for the underdog. So we're made to feel sorry for this Dean and his Bishop and their Founder. We automatically want to protect them from those evil, mean-spirited people who would attack them for no good reason whatsoever. We never checked to see if those claims were even true. That's emotional manipulation and control. (I could go on here, but I'd like to move on to my next point so I'll direct you to this webpage instead http://www.herbertwarmstrong.com/examining_hwa.htm. ) Information Control - Here's a good one. You might be tempted to say that any organization that encourages you to do your own research couldn't possibly be guilty of information control. Or could they? The Dean has often said that we shouldn't be snooping around into old business, don't go inquiring about IDMR, the older students shouldn't bother the newer students with the school's dirty laundry. Why is that? Even when he has CERTAIN people read CERTAIN parts of the school's history, he makes sure to tell them WHICH parts to read and which parts to SKIP OVER. Why is that? Why not distribute copies of the school's history to EVERYBODY in the organization? Why can't we do a background check on the organization to which we are devoting our lives? After all, "our souls are at stake" (commonly used phrase). Two words...information control. I like being the way I am because if you tell me NOT to do something, I want to know why! Environmental Control - How many times have we heard in the Assembly that we "have to come to class" and we "have to bring other people to class" because "this gospel can't be preached outside of THIS CLASS". In order to get a true knowledge and understanding of the Creator, and have eternal life, then you HAVE TO COME TO CLASS. Some have even used the analogy of a doctor who does not operate on a patient in the street. That patient must be brought to the hospital or the doctor's office. Of course, this is to get you into their controlled environment. The order of the service is set up a certain way for a reason. First, you hear three or four songs from the choir which are usually familiar, popular tunes with new words sung over the music. You have to settle into your chair and RELAX because they need you to be in a state of mind where you are receptive to their doctrine. There's flowers or pretty pictures on the walls (within your peripheral vision) so that you will associate those pleasant items with their doctrine. In front of you are these brightly colored picture charts encircled by reddish-orange "clouds of fire" which they say "only symbolizes and depicts the spirit" which is a consuming fire. Like I said above, you're scared to wander (or wonder) "outside of the camp". They make sure that the one depicting the children of Israel's exodus from Egypt is directly in front of the visitors so that you know which camp they're talking about. Here are some web pages which explain the POWER OF SUGGESTION: http://www.newrenaissance.ibs.ee/lonny/pages/power_of_suggestion/power_of_suggestion-index.htm http://www.rapidnet.com/~jbeard/bdm/Psychology/memory.htm [Quote from this page: Leading questions, direct guidance, and voice intonation are enough to serve as an induction into the trance state for many individuals. Mark Pendergrast says: "The 'guided imagery' exercises that trauma therapists employ to gain access to buried memories can be enormously convincing, whether we choose to call the process hypnosis or not. When someone is relaxed, willing to suspend critical judgment, engage in fantasy, and place ultimate faith in an authority figure using ritualistic methods, deceptive scenes from the past can easily be induced." (See Parts 1 and 2 of "False Memory Syndrome: Creating Memories" In Volume 1, Numbers 1 and 2 of the PsychoHeresy Awareness Letter.)] This past Sunday, I witnessed our Dean use the "guided imagery" technique very smoothly. If you read any of the webpages I mentioned earlier about "cult behavior", then you would have come across the fact that the leaders of these cults make their followers worship them while saying, "I don't want you to worship me". Here's how they do it: guided imagery. Our minds know how to think ahead and anticipate the next item in a succession. For example, in grade school, we learned "what comes next" in math. So if you see: 3, 5, 7, __, then you know that 9 comes next, right? Okay, so on Sunday, he said that the Holy Spirit is everywhere at the same time, all around us, etc. We said, "That's right!" Then he said that the Holy Spirit is among us right now. We said, "That's right!" Then he said that the Holy Spirit is preaching to us right now. We said, "That's right!" He was the only one standing up in front of us, preaching to us at that time, so "what comes next"? Our minds went ahead and completed the succession, but then he switched it. After giving us a moment to figure out the next part of that succession, he said that he's NOT trying to say that he's the Holy Spirit! See how that guided imagery thing works? Smooth. So nobody can accuse him of getting people to worship him. Don't get upset with him about that, though. He's really only doing what he was taught. (If you think this message is long so far, just wait until we get into this next section!) Another thing I like about the Assembly is that they DO read at least part of their history to the class. In their history, they mention that their Founder, Dr. Henry C. Kinley, used to be a minister in the Church of God. He left because he disagreed with their doctrine. The Worldwide Church of God (WCG) was run by a man called Herbert W. Armstrong until recent years when they changed some aspects of their doctrine. You might be surprised to find out how many similarities the WCG has with IDMR and AODR. (To read more about "Armstrongism", you might want to read these websites: http://www.herbertwarmstrong.com/armstrongism.htm http://www.wcg.org/lit/AboutUs/history.htm or do a keyword search on Yahoo yourself!) After reading pages and pages of testimonies from former WCG members, I was astonished to see how many of them had the same fears and beliefs drilled into them that I have in my relationship with AODR. Here are a few examples: According to some webpages, Armstrong said that he had a vision from the Creator in 1927. In the Assembly, we are taught that Dr. Henry C. Kinley, the founder of IDMR (who charged our Bishop to preach to the South and authorized the founding of AODR), had a divine vision and revelation in 1931. (By the way, IDMR teaches that, too. http://www.idmr.org/history.html ) According to some webpages, Armstrong prophesied about alot of things including the end of the world which is always just around the corner. IDMR and AODR claim that Dr. Henry C. Kinley prophecied about alot of things including the end of the world, too. How many phrases do you recognize on this page? http://www.herbertwarmstrong.com/cult_speak.htm I'll tell you some of the "cult speak" from this webpage that I've heard in AODR: Coming out of Spiritual Egypt, Stand in the Holy Place, The Law, the Prophets [and Psalms], 6 is man's number, 7 is perfection, All your righteousness is as filthy rags, Always buy the best quality you can afford, Approved by Headquarters, Backsliding, Building Fund (I have to talk more about this one later), Deceived by Satan (first of two reasons for disagreement...), Don't believe me, believe your Bible!, and many, many more! According to some webpages: http://www.mrmrspifloyd.com/1975%20in%20prophecy.HTM http://genesterling.tripod.com/thefacts.html http://www.watchman.org/cults/prophesy.htm Armstrong predicted some huge calamity (or the manifestation of the Messiah) would happen in 1975, but it didn't. IDMR and AODR claim that Dr. Henry C. Kinley predicted this would happen in 1996, but it didn't. What was the reason given as to why these prophecies turned out to be false? Because the congregation was not ready yet! (Read this testimony from a former WCG member: http://www.herbertwarmstrong.com/shouldhaveknown.htm ) According to some webpages, Armstrong taught his congregation about a 19-year time cycle which coincided nicely with his ministry and divine authority. AODR revised that to teach about a 490-year time cycle which coincides nicely with their Bishop's ministry and divine authority. According to some webpages, Armstrong's ministerial set-up was very vertical with him being at the top (closest to the creator), his sons were next in line to be revered, then various levels of ministers, and at the bottom were the "dumb sheep". IDMR and AODR have the same Founder (Dr. Henry C. Kinley)who is/was Yahweh/Yahshua manifested in a physical body fully conscious (in other words, spiritually WAY smarter than any of us dumb saps), [AODR encourages us to recognize his daughter next], then there is the office of Bishop who's spiritual intelligence was eclipsed only by that of the Founder (we'll NEVER be as smart as the Bishop), various ministers who are given different responsiblities, and at the bottom are the "student body" who must be utterly respectful to all of the above and suffer in silence when that respect is not reciprocated ("show the mystery, not the misery"). The bible says that the Messiah is the ONLY MEDIATOR between the Creator and mankind. So why do we feel compelled to turn to these "authority" figures to mediate for us? Is the Messiah/Holy Spirit in us or what? Here's an interesting view of the history of the Sacred Name Movement which apparently started in 1844?: http://www.sacrednamemovement.com/SNHistory.htm In a lot of ways, AODR is a slicker version of IDMR which is a slicker version of WCG. This testimony proves that I'm not making this up: http://www.herbertwarmstrong.com/ouvier_bytheirfruits.htm The apple really doesn't fall far from the tree! Let's look at some more testimonies about Armstrong's dogma and compare it to that of AODR. (I never actually attended an IDMR meeting so the information I have about them came from their own website and news articles about them.) I have been a member of AODR for about seven years so I'm being very careful about making sure that I quote what they teach properly. Okay, so here's one that shows what happens in WCG when someone questions the doctrine and/or authority of their organization: http://www.herbertwarmstrong.com/balance.htm Likewise, in AODR, you are considered "disgruntled" and/or "tricked by the devil" if you disagree with or even if you just have some doubts about anything the Dean or Bishop say. Whatever happened to "make me prove it to your satisfaction"? (Speaking of that statement, Armstrong and Kinley supposedly made that claim because they each had the "one true gospel". I don't think anyone in these organizations can disagree with that.) This one examines Armstrong's teachings and the effect they had on his congregation: http://www.herbertwarmstrong.com/examining_hwa.htm The similarities between the emotional control he had over his "flock" and the emotional control being exerted over the AODR "flock" are endlessly expressed on this webpage. You might say, "So what! WE still have the truth!" Are you really sure about that or are you just repeating what's been drummed into your head for years by various baritone voices chanting "That's right!". There are flaws in the organizational structure and doctrine of AODR. This message is extremely long, but I'm writing this and bringing these things to your attention because I care about you. Yes, I actually DO love each and every one of you. It's not fair that we have been subjected to this kind of mind game for however long you've been in class. It's not right to MANIPULATE people into doing whatever some man wants you to do. Abuse of power is wrong in any situation. You should ask yourself questions such as: Why do we always have so many "projects"? Why is there always something extra that we must buy in class? How long will this building fund last? When we were first told about a building fund five (or so) years ago, it was because there was a lot of construction going on near the 4110 Old Dixie Hwy location. We were told that the owner of the building we rented might allow those developers to buy him out and put us out on the streets. So we needed to start a building fund. Okay, none of the buildings suggested to our Dean have been good enough so far. They are too small, don't have enough parking space, cost too much, etc. Now that our old address is a crispy pile of rubble, we had no choice but to simply rent a room somewhere else (at the Clayton County Water Authority). During one of our first meetings in this new location, our Dean said that the owner of the burned down building expressed a desire to rebuild that building in the same spot because he had sentimental attachments to that location AND that he would like for AODR to come back once he has finished rebuilding it. We were good tenents. This doesn't sound like someone who would allow some developers to buy him out. So why do we need a building fund? The Dean wants the Atlanta Branch of AODR to grow much bigger than it's current membership size. Why is it so important to increase the size of an organization? We don't pay tithes like WCG did under Armstrong's rule, but we do pay monthly "donations" which have to be kept up or our names will go on public display on the "Arrears List". In my opinion, this list serves two purposes. It embarrasses and shames into submission people who can't (or choose not to) make monthly "donations" and it helps the powers that be keep track of the "disgruntled" members because they are most likely to stop paying their "donations". We also are strongly encouraged to "participate in the projects" (fund-raisers) that the school has going on and if you don't, then you must be "disgruntled". They often say "support your school" and "support your Dean". What if we are single parents who blindly love the school, but we just don't have a lot of spare money? or spare time? What if we have lost our jobs? Or been thrown out of our home? Are we less faithful to the truth because we don't "fellowship" very much? What if we just have a mild case of social anxiety? Do we still deserve to be shunned? Why should we buy insurance from our spiritual authority? (According to the history which is often read in AODR), Dr. Henry C. Kinley was an insurance SALESMAN, Bishop Willie M. Jones was an insurance SALESMAN, and many of us know that our Dean is also an insurance SALESMAN. Being a salesman is not a crime and I'm NOT accusing any of them of committing a crime that I know of, but I wonder if that plays into the ABILITY of someone to POSSIBLY practice abuse of control. Let's think about this insurance factor for a moment. I know that a lot of people in our class love and trust our Bishop and Dean so if asked to do something, many would like to help out in any way possible. Insurance is something that most people feel they need anyway so why not sign up for a really affordable policy? I'll tell you why not. We've heard it said in class many times that "you can't run from Yahweh" and "I am Yahweh...don't worry, so are you...on your level". A few people have left the school only to return a few years later much distressed and embarrassed because they are put back on the front row with the other visitors. They could have dedicated YEARS of their lives to promoting the "one true gospel", lost much sleep trying to help out at the school, lost many opportunities to better themselves (like going away to college, moving to a community with a better public school system for your children, or accepting an awesome job in a safer community) and still...when they come back, they are mere visitors who have to sit on the front row again and stare directly at the chart with fire around it! Did you know that insurance companies can request a copy of your credit report? And that your credit report will show them your current address no matter where you go? So, it's true, "you can't run from Yahweh" because he has your social security number, emergency contact information, and everything else you filled out on that insurance form. Again, I'm not accusing them of actually looking people up this way, but knowing this contributes to the fear that my daughter and I have about leaving this organization. Fear of disagreeing with some elements of AODR, fear of eternal damnation in the lake of fire, and fear of being shunned or talked about among "the only people I should be associating myself with" are the fundamental reasons why I've developed an eating disorder. I've been trying to be perfect in their sight while maintaining control of my own mind. Unfortunately, I can never measure up to AODR's expectations because I still think for myself. I've been treated like a disgruntled outcast because I still actually adhere to the very thing they (and the bible) teach us every time class meets which is to try the spirit, check things out, and diligently seek truth. I don't follow the crowd. I'm friendly, but not very much into social gatherings. What, is that some new requirement for eternal life? Where does it say in the law, the prophets, or anywhere in the bible that you must "come to class" in order to have eternal life anyway? And why should we adjust our Wills to make sure that AODR will have the authority to do our funerals/celebrations? I'm raising questions because I feel that if something is not right, then it's just not right. You've heard the saying before, "If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, then..." (See, I just used guided imagery to get you to complete that statement even though I did not specifically say it!) Seriously, what's wrong with asking questions? Why is it that people in AODR feel that they have to "talk to Doc (the Dean) first" or clear something with "headquarters" before they can make normal, adult decisions in their lives? If they really have the "one and only truth", then why is it amazingly similar to this other guys teachings? People should be allowed to seek out ANY resources of information they can find in order to truly make a fair assessment of any situation. And the truth should be able to stand up under intense scrutiny. I've been scrutinizing and have found some inconsistencies within their doctrine. Besides the fact that WCG, IDMR and AODR look like triplets under a microscope, there are some things particular to AODR's teaching that I have questions about. And I don't want any more of that double-talk, either! John 17:3 is quoted often as the answer to how eternal life is obtained (It says that eternal life is knowing that Yahweh, your Elohim is Yahshua the Messiah). So where does it say in the bible that you have to come to THIS class in order know this information? Isn't that putting limitations on the Creator? Well, see...then they flip it around and say that there are some people outside of the school who could still end up having eternal life even though they never set foot into our classroom. But for those of us who HAVE set foot into this school, we have to keep coming back or risk losing out on our eternal life because we will go straight to "the lake of fire" for turning our backs on YAHWEH! Wait a minute, I thought that he has no limitations? Again, where does it say that in the law or the prophets? And who said that we are turning our backs on the Creator if we reject this particular version of this gospel? Armstrong claimed to have special knowledge and esoteric secrets that the world doesn't know about, too. I read on one webpage where someone asked a lot of questions including the question about Yahshua (Joshua) in the old testments being the same Yahshua that comes through the virgin. Here's the webpage: http://www.letusreason.org/Cults14.htm So why did Yahshua (son of nun) make that treaty with the Gibeonites? I know, I know..."to carry out Yahweh's purpose and plan". Because Yahweh said that the children of Israel would disobey him. That's usually the answer to everything they can not really explain...to your satisfaction. Also, is FAITH really by GRACE (Ephesians 2:8-9) and NOT of works or do we have to have WORKS in order to show our FAITH (James 2:14)? This one confuses me because both scriptures are quoted often in the Atlanta Branch of AODR. So since the original charges to anyone visiting The Assembly of Divine Reality is to "make me prove it to your satisfaction" and to "do a MINOR research", then I can safely say with a guilt-free conscience that they have not proven their doctrine to be the "one and only TRUE gospel of the kingdom" to my satisfaction and I have done at least a "minor research". I no longer feel compelled to "come to class" and listen to a room full of people chant "That's right!". I no longer feel compelled to sit and listen to someone say that I'm going to the "lake of fire" if I question his/her authority. Instead I'm going to really work on restoring my self-esteem, dealing with my depression, decreasing the frequency of my panic attacks, and helping my daughter work through her crippling fear that someone from class is going to get us for telling on them. Would a gospel of LOVE do that to anybody? I felt that I had to go about leaving class this way, publicly, because of the fear that would have followed us out of there anyway. Dean, I would like to cancel both insurance policies that I signed with you. I know that some of you will love me still and some of you will hate me still. I want all of you to know that I love you still. Why hide the truth when somebody's "soul" is at stake? At this point in my life, I don't know who to trust anymore so I've decided to let PEACE, LOVE, and HAPPINESS guide me each day. **Added Note (2/27/03): I felt it necessary to say that I am not totally "espoused" to the viewpoints held by the editor of the herbertwarmstrong.com web page since he also prefers to withhold information from people. He will not publish anything from anybody who quotes the bible. Again, I ask WHY HIDE THE TRUTH? |
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