Birthday Wishes

From Brent

“Owner of CIAJ and SO:SOZ’

Author Notes:

This story is not really a SO2 story just a celebration story of my birthday…and the fact that

I’ve been in one fan fic already…^_^ Well enjoy yourself! ^_^

 

(Fireworks play off)

Guy: Good evening Vancouver and welcome to a special day today down here in our fair city, where today is no ordinary cold ass November day.

Guy2: Oh yeah no question…

Guy: I’m Bill he’s Marty! And where gay!

All: …

Bill: (Ah…can we do this at another time)

Marty: (Sure)

Bill: Today is Brent’s Birthday owner of the famous Claude is a Jerk site!

Marty: Don’t forget his Zelnack site which goes on sale soon…

Bill: I wonder what is taking him so long…

Marty: Yeah he’s really lazy isn’t he?

Bill: No question!

Dias: That’s it!

Bill: Why lookie here it’s Dias Flac!

Marty: Hey aren’t you Claude Kenni

Bill: The Jerk!

Marty: Friends?

Dias: …

Marty: Close friends?
Dias: UGH! HOKOUHA!!! (Burns Marty and Bill’s clothes)

(The newscaster turn into skeletons)

Dias: That’s better…

(Outside a big party is formed with Claude is a jerk floats)

Brent: Ahh…good as usual…this party is a success! Right Mr. Sean

Sean: Hey…(Piss!)

Brent: Huh?

Sean: (I have to film a scene where I fight Jan…can I go?)

Brent: No…you stay for my party!

Sean: Aww…I WANNA GO RIGHT NOW!

Brent: Guards!

(Jack from wild arms, and Glenn from Chrono Cross appear)

Sean: 0_0’

Jack: You called…

Glenn: Oh what do you wish of us?

Brent: Escort him to the…

Brent: Dungeon!

Sean: NOOOOOOOOO!!!

(Jack and Glenn cart him away)

Brent: Come! I must check out what everyone is doing outside!

Azim: …

Brent: Something wrong Azim?

Azim: Azim feels like a tool yes he does…

Brent: Come Azim…don’t make me get those two aging…

Azim: Azim is way better than a man with a sword and dude with a rat as a pet!

(Duffman walks in)

Duff Man: The Clug o Mug contest is going on right now!

Brent: Cool! Lead the way Duff Man!

Duff Man: Oh yeah! Duff man putting his paycheck on the last story he did on Opera!

(Outside a table with beers and 3 contestants are there)

Announcer: Ladies and Gentleman! Claude is a Jerk sponser has always been Duff beer and Shadows Of Zelnack…so this year we pay tribute to their service by doing the 1st annual Clug o Mug contest!

Selphie: Who came up with the name?

Irvine: Some guy…

Duff Man: Irvine! You promised Duff man a dart game at Brent’s pool table later!

Irvine: Hehehe…I can smoke you…just like this gun…

Duff Man: The only person who can smoke me with a gun is only Opera Vectra!

Duff Man: Hey Opera! Duff Man wants to see you when you win the contest! Oh yeah!

Brent: …

(Everyone turns around as they clap and cheer)

Brent: Greetings everyone! Glad you could come!

Ashton: This party rules Brent! But could you do something about Kayci wanting an autograph!

Kayci: ASHTOOOON!!!

Ashton: Ugh…

Brent: You got it! (Snaps fingers) Jan!

Jan: Hey where’s Cyril? Wasn’t he invited?

Brent: Oh yeah…

Brent: Camera two…locate Cyril…

Camera: Searching…Cyril located at Pool table…

(Meanwhile)

Cyril: 8 ball in lower left pocket…

Mr.T: Hurry the hell up fool! I got another commercial to do…

Mr.T: This time I’m doing a commercial about me dressing up in a ballerina costume and sell life insurance…

Cyril: (Hit’s the ball and goes in) YES! I’m good!

Mr.T: Here’s your fifty bucks! (Hands it to him)

Cyril: Why don’t we make things more interesting?

Mr.T: You talking to me Fool?

Cyril: Double or nothing…You and me in a boxing match right here!

Mr.T: Your on!

Crowd: Kick his ass T!

Mr.T: Damn straight!

Crowd: Cyril blow his head up!

Cyril: Your on!

Brent: Cyril your brother has been waiting for you!

Cyril: Ohh…Be there in a sec (Turns around)

(Mr.T gets tripped by Cyril’s foot)

Mr.T; HOLLY!

Crowd: HAHAHAHAHA!

Cyril: Halrious!

(Scene fades as it goes to a space station above the Earth)

????: MUAHAHAHAHA!!!

Hullo: So Brent is another year older…big freakin deal…

Hullo: I’m over 100 years old and look how young I look!

Dart: Yeah…super!

Hullo: Dart what is it?

Dart: Are you ever going to play LOD aging?

Hullo: NO!

Dart: …

Dart: So what’s this plan…you had?

Hullo: Huh?

Dart: Remember to kill Brent, ruin CIAJ, and make the people like Claude aging…you know?

Hullo: Oh yes how silly of me…

(Dart follows Hullo into a room with a huge machine with Claude on a table)

Hullo: Behold! My greatest achievement in the history of science!

Dart: Claude?

Hullo: No…Dumbass…

Hullo: The cloning machine stolen from Shadows Of Zelnack…

Hullo: Navigation 2...^_^

Dart: …

Hullo: With this I’ll create hundreds of Claude’s and crash his party and destory the SO2 heros…MUHAHAHAHAHA!

Dart: Brillant! Hullo…Oh…nope…sorry…

Hullo: What’s wrong?

Dart: Wouldn’t you kill those heros from other games…and if they die how to so defeat Evil?

Hullo: Got a point there…

Dart: And…can we order Chinese food for brunch?

Hullo: …

Dart: PLEASE!!!

Hullo: Fine…take my Visa…

Dart: YAY!

Hullo: But first fire up the machine!

Dart: Uh…right!

(Machine is turned on)

Hullo: Power systems…

Dart: At full your highness…

Hullo: …Main life systems?

Dart: Does red mean ok?

Hullo: NO!!! (Pushes Dart out of the way so hard that he falls of a guardrail)

Dart: OH SHITTTTTTT!!!

(Blood spatter)

Hullo: Eww…what a mess…oh well he sucks…

(Noise)

Hullo: It is done! My Claude army is finished! Now to make my visit…

Claude: …

Hullo: 0_0?

Claude: You got any change?
Claude2: Does this shirt make me look queer?

Claude3: I’m hungry for KFC chicken!

Hullo: Oh my god…I forgot they are twice as dumb as the original…curses!

Hullo: No matter Brent is dumb enough to deal with em! ^_^

(By satellite)

Expertise: Eh?

Expertise: Hullo is going to crash Brent’s party! I gotta stop her…but how?

Expertise: (Thinking…)

Expertise: I know…

(Meanwhile)

Crowd: JUG JUG JUG!!!

Duff man: Duff Man is enjoying this! Right Leon!

Leon: (Drunk) Yes…

Rena: Leon!

Leon: Hey woman…let me have my beer!

Rena: (Looks at Duff Man)

Duff man: What?

Brent: Hey look up at the sky…

Bowman: What is that!

Ashton: It looks like…

Clinton: A giant raspberry! Hahahaha…

All: …

Clinton: Can’t I be a little funny before I die in the next scene on page 221?

Brent: Yeah…good point…we’ll give you 6 more lines and then that’s it?

All: (Silence)

Ashton: I got it!

Ashton: Hey Dias how’s life?

Dias: Good…you?

Ashton: Great! …we still have one more line!

Brent: There we go! That’s 6! Opera!

Opera: LIGHTING BLADE! (Kills Clinton)

Cloud: Let’s here it for Opera!

Cid: YEAH!

(Evil laugh)

Jack: What’s that?

Hullo: Fools! You bunch of mis-guided creatures from other games that suck! And some I never heard of before…

Cray: HEY!

Hullo: Why do you take sides with the idiot who makes an Anti-Claude site huh?

Gareth: Yeah! Anti-anything sites usually blow!

Ashley: Not this one!

Brent: You controlled my friends you bitch!

Hullo: HAHAHAHA Happy birthday loser…

Leno: That was sure nice…

Hullo: Here’s your big birthday present! (Presses a button)

Brent: Oooo…can I guess?

Hullo: Um…(Wasn’t expecting that…but) ok!

Brent: Is it money?

Hullo: No…

Kayci: Diamonds?

Hullo: NO!

Brent: Is it…

Hullo: TIMES UP!!! AN ARMY OF CLAUDE’S!!!

All: GASP!

Brent: I was going to say that…

Ernest: I was going to say that too ya know…

Hullo: DESTORY THEM!!!

Hullo: Claude is a jerk will be renamed to Brent is a dead jerk! MUHAHAHAHA!!!

Brent: Guys your all video game heros!

Cecil: Expect for Duff Man!

Duff Man: Duff man has his jugs…OH YEAH!!!

All: Ewww…

Duff Man: Oh no…with that last remark Duff man is never going to work aging…

Hullo: Use your Air slash! ^_^

Claude’s: Air…um…what comes after the air?

Hullo: SLASH!!!

Claude’s: Oh…

Ashton: Take cover!!!

Irvine: I’ll handle this! Squall give me your GF!

Squall: …

Irvine: HELLO!!! EARTH TO STUPID GUY!

Squall: Here…

Irvine: Thank you!

Opera: Hurry it up!

Claude: SLASH!!!

Irvine: SHIELD!!!

(Air slash bounces off the party)

Hullo: Damn it…looks like that won’t do it…HEAD ON ATTACK!!!

Hullo: You too Albert, Gareth, and you Nickson

Nickson: But I hate Claude…and fact I’m on his next T-shirt…

Hullo: Hey I did a favor for you!

Nickson: Yes my queen…

Brent: Go! Jack, Rudy, Irvine, Opera, Ashley, Kacyi, Azim!

Azim: Huh?

Jack: Hey ass your up!

Azim: YES!!!

All: Charge!

Rudy: Go ARM!!! (Machine gun shoots down Claudes)

Jack: SONIC DIVE!!! (Blows away Claude)

Opera: LIGHTING BLADE!!!

Claude: (Has Ashley down) You die…

Opera; ASHLEY!!!

Duff man: Allow me!

Opera: Duff man!

Claude: Eh?

Claude: You have a big D on your suit…funny…

Duff Man: I am no laughing matter for you! DUFF MAN SPECIAL ATTACK!!! POWDER KEG!!!

(Breaks open Claude’s jaw)

Ashley: 0_0’

Azim: Sweet…watch this!

(Throws an ax and slices Claude’s head off)

Opera: Nice…Duff Man…Azim!

Brent: Our front line is doing ok…better send in our best sorcerers…

Brent: Celine, Rosa, Jeff, and Magnus!

All: Yes!

Brent: Take out the main people…by any force!

Jeff: You got it!

Roas: Before we go and kick Hullo’s ass…

Magnus: This epic battle was made possible by the people at the Duff Beer corporation…and by Fenril Legends…another proud sponsor of this miss teen America contest…

Leno: That was a mistake…

Magnus: CHARGE!!!

Hullo: So he wants to play…Gareth!

Gareth: Yes! I’m taking on the black haired one!

Jeff: FREEZING LANCE!!! (Misses Gareth)

Gareth: Missed…what’s next?

????: RIGHT HERE! (Stabs him in the stomach)

Gareth: W…Wha…What?

Jeff: (Looks up)

Brent: Expertise!

Expertise: I was a little late…had to stop over at Farwell’s…

(Meanwhile)

Farwell: Wow…Expertise send me a present…

Farwell: (Unwraps the box) I wonder what it could be…

(Bomb rolls out)

Farwell: Oh…shit…

(Back at the party)

Kayci: What did you send him?

Expertise: A little present ^_^

(meanwhile)

Hullo: Damn it…Albert, Nickson! GO!

Nickson: I don’t have a weapon…

Hullo: Sigh…here! (Gives him a hammer)

Mickson: Thanks!

Ashley: I get Alberto!!!

Albert: …HA! (Albert is transforming into a dragoon)

Ashley: Huh?

Albert: The power of the Jade Dragoon will overwhelm you!

????: Oh yeah!

Albert: Huh?
Ashley: Huh?

(Jan appears)

Ashley: Jan? what are you doing here?

Jan: I know that this is highly irregular…but meh…

Albert: WING BLAS…

Jan: DARKNESS WAVE!!!

Albert: Hey…he spoke out more letters than…

Albert: OH SHITT!!!!

(Albert’s explodes where his body parts are all over the place)

Jan: YEAH! (Slaps Ashley’s hand!)

(Meanwhile)

Hullo: Ehhh…Nickson! GO!!!

Nickson: Here I go!

(Nickson is running towards Dias and Rudy)

Nickson: DIE!!!

Rudy: What the? (Gets smacked in the head) Ouch…

Dias: HOKOUHA!!!

(Silence)

Nickson: Nickson’s back!!!

Dias: Huh?

(Nickson bats Dias in the head with his hammer)

Hullo: Way to go bro…(Loser…)

Nickson: Who’s ready?

???????: ME!!!

Nickson: What the?

Kayci: LEONheart?

Opera: But Brent said you were dead?

LEONheart: I was!

Nickson: Prepare yourself! We ex-president’s can throw things pretty hard!

LEONheart: …sigh…

Duff Man: DUFF MAN WIL TAKE CARE OF NICKSON!!! OH YEAH!

Duff Man: DUFF PUNCH! OOOOO! (Punch Nickson in the gut)

Nickson: Nickson is down for the count…

Brent: Good work guys!

Expertise: All we have left is Hullo…

Hullo: Hehehe my powers are beyond yours! Not even god himself can stop me!

Jan: Will see about that! DARKNESS WAVE!

(Brushes off Hullo)

Jan: Whoa!

Hullo: You moron…

Ashley: Ashton! Double team!

Ashton: Right!

Ashton/Ashley: DRAGON BREATH!!!

Hullo: HA! (Avoids it)

Rudy: ROCKET LAUNCHER!

(Hullo avoids the attack)
Hullo: Hahahaha…

Rena: I’m going to heal the wounded…

Duff Man: That won’t be necessary…

Duff Man: Duff man has his latest cure…

Rena: Eh?

Duff Man: DUFF MAN’S NEW HARD COLD LEMONADE CHERRY FLAVOURED DUFF SUPREME! OH YEAH!

Opera: Can I have one?

Hullo: You idiots!

Hullo: Looks like I don’t need Claude…I can take care of you by myself!

Ashton: Oh…We need a miracle!

????? ?????: And you do!

All: (Looks up)

(Spanish music)

Jeff: Senor Ding dong!

LEONheart: Wasn’t he from the Simpsons?

Brent: They did that for a cheap 2 second laugh…

Senor D: Now to ring your bells…

Hullo: Oh I’m SOOOOO SCARED!!!

Hullo: What are you going to do? Whip me to death?
Senor D: Close! But no ring! (Turns around and lift’s up curtain)

Hullo: 0_0’

Ashton: Is that?

Brent: The anti-Claude fireworks…

Irvine: They were going to be used for the party right?
Brent: Yep…

Hullo: I better shake up a few things and get this party over with!

Hullo: I call upon the stars…the sky…the moon…all the planets that rotate around the blue marble…gather your dark energy and crush those people in front of me!

Duff Man: Duff man feels a bad vibe coming…

Kayci: Hey what’s that in the sky?
Hullo: Now what?

Cloud: He arrived right on time…

Ernest: Who is that?
Cloud: Cid my dear friend…and I told him to bring a present for you…

Selphie: COOL! Pink floats!

Cloud: …

Cloud: Mr Hans!

Hans: Yep!

Cloud: Fire the rockets…

Hullo: NO! this spell requires no moving…DAMN IT! Why did I pick a Star Ocean battle system for this!!!

Hans: Rockets! Mr. Highwind!

Cid: Hehehe…FIRE!

(Rockets fire and head on their way down)

Rena: We need to get outta this area!

Irvine: I can use the GF!

Rena: No!

Ashley: I think she means…RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!

(everyone runs)

Duff Man: Hey no touching!

Senor D: Sorry…my bells are ringing!

Jeff: Gross…

Hullo: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

(Rockets explode as the smoke clears Duff Man approach where Hullo was bombed)

All: …

Duff Man: Her staff…

Duff Man: Duff Man has completed his scans around the area! Hullo is dead! OH YEAH!

Irvine: Three chears to Duff Man!

Kayci: But Cid…

Irvine: I said 3 cheers…(Selphie pulls him by the ear)

Selphie: Come on you…

All: …

Duff Man: Tis was Brent’s birthday and what did I see…a epic battle no one will ever see…OOOOO! (Thrusts)

Brent: Read the last paragraph…

Duff Man: In the end the heros prevailed! And the order of the anti-hate remained…

Duff Man: But somewhere the battle between Claude lovers and haters still goes on…

(Underground)

????: MUAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!

Reebi: Hullo has returned to us!

Gay: YES!

Precis: YIPPPEE!!!

Hullo: …My head hurts…

Reebi: What should we do next leader of the Claude Lovers?

Hullo: Rest! I just have the worst headache right now…

Precis: NO WE SHOULDN’T REST!!!! TAKE OVER WORLD!

Hullo: Oh shut up…why couldn’t I get normal soliders…like Irvine…

So the Claude haters won the first epic battle…but those lovers will be back and Hullo is sure to kick some ass…

Boy: Hey why didn’t Brent fight mommy?
Mom: Ah…well…that’s because…

End. ^_^

* This story is deciated to all who visit CIAJ! And for my birthday too*