F.A.Q.S!
Hey there! Know what? You're a moron! That's right! You must be if you'd have questions STUPID enough that they'd have answers here!

(For the sake of my amusement you will be referred to as Timmy in the answers secton)

WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH YOU?-Good question, Timmy! I was originally going to have a very nice and humble attitude on this site, but being mean is just so much damn fun! If you're not already, I highly recommend becoming a jerk.

WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH JACK?-Another good one! Boy, your mother must be proud to have someone so skilled at asking questions in the family, despite the obvious handicap of having a loser name like Timmy. What were your parents thinking? Jack was originally a character I made for an animé styled role-playing game (yes, I am that much of a dork) called "Teenagers From Outer Space." He was based on me and had the obvious character attribute of being a total pervert. First he was named Joe, then Hentai, then, when I needed costars for the comic, he became Jack. I did a few minor adjustments and made him the mischievous member of the cast to facilitate plot formation. Man, are you STILL reading this?? Boy, you've got a longer attention span than I do. Were our positions reversed, I probably would have gone on to the next question long ago! Then again, if our positions WERE reversed I'd go out and rob a bank so that you'd get the blame while I was in your body! Assuming we switched bodies and all. Then I'd muss up your hair and do REALLY embarassing stuff in front of your loved ones. Dammit, you're still reading this? What the Hell is wrong with you, ya freak? Go to the next question already! Geez!

WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH CRYSTAL?-And still another good one! Good Timmy! Good! Crystal was a spur-of-the-moment creation when I thought there should be another castmember. She was originally named Carol. I don't really know why I made her the sweet airhead. Maybe I just felt every Internet comic has to have one.

WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH SANDRA?-Ah yes, the only NON spur-of-the-moment character. Sandra was the real beginning of this comic, though Jack was kind of made before her. I was up late one night drawing and communing with dead cockroaches when she crawled out of my pencil. She looked so good, I had to do something with her! As for her character, she's more or less the "straight man" to represent the rational, "normal" Yin to Jack and Crystal's self-destructive Yang.

WHAT'S SANDRA'S COLOR SCHEME?-White skin and horns with black markings, purple hair and eyes.

WHAT IS THAT ON SANDRA'S SHIRT?-A halo. It's irony, see?

WHY ARE YOU A RABBIT?-Well, my parents did a lot of experimentation in the '60's. Either that or it's MY comic so I'll draw myself however I damn well please.

SINCE THE NAME OF THIS COMIC'S ZEBRA GIRL, SHOULDN'T YOU BE A ZEBRA?-I dunno. Should I be a girl?

JUST HOW MUCH OF THIS HAVE YOU STOLEN FROM SLUGGY FREELANCE?-Oh, far too much to get into here.

IS THIS LIKE "EVERYTHING JAKE" or "AVALON," WITH A SET TIME LIMIT?-Hell no! I swear, I shall use all my power to make sure this comic lasts until the stars grow cold, Hell freezes over or I find something better to do! Zebra Girl shall endure throughout the ages, mark my words. There'll be no ends in sight so long as I'm around! Perhaps a hiatus here and there, but never shall there be an end! I shall live, and DIE a pirate king!

WHY THE HELL ARE ALL THE URLS SO DAMN LONG??-Look, I was young okay?! I didn't know what I was doing!

HOW MUCH WOOD WOULD A WOODCHUCK CHUCK IF A WOODCHUCK COULD CHUCK WOOD?-Sarah knows! Don'tcha sis?

WHAT WAS THAT?-An inner joke.

NO, WHAT WAS THAT?-Oh, that? I dunno. Sounded like glass breaking. Maybe you should go down to the basement, make sure no one's there.

WHAT TIME IS IT?-WHAT??! Who the Hell are you to ask such a question!?! Get the Hell off my site!!

WHERE DO YOU GET YOUR IDEAS?-Yeah, like anyone ever really asks that. I draw my inspiration from my own quirks and foibles and my experiences in dealing with the outside world. The rest I steal from Sluggy Freelance.

WHY DO FOOLS FALL IN LOVE?-Because, my friend, only fools are foolish enough to do it.

WAAZZZUUUUUUUPPP??-WHUZZZAAAAAAAAAAP!!

WWHHAAAASSUUUUUUUUUUPPPP!!?-WHAAASSSSUUUUUUUPPPP!!!

OY. THAT'S BEEN DONE TO DEATH, HASN'T IT?-Yes. Yes it has.

HOW DOES HE EAT AND BREATHE?-Dammit, what part of "just relax" don't you understand? ...God, I'm pathetic. If I reference Mystery Science Theater 3000 I should do it with panache, not in the "FAQs" section. I'm such a sad little dweeb. Sorry.

THAT'S NOT THE STAR OF DAVID ON LORD INCUBUS' FOREHEAD, IS IT?-No, that's a pentagram, which has five points whereas the Star of David has six points. The pentagram is commonly associated (rather inaccurately) with Satanism and other arcane, nasty things.

WHAT DOES "FAQs" STAND FOR ANYWAY?-If you don't know by now you don't deserve to.

WHEN WILL TOM GET IT THROUGH HIS IDIOT SKULL TO JUST LEAVE THE DAMN MOUSE ALONE?-No answer, I just felt like writing this.

WHY DID MY GOLDFISH HAVE TO DIE?-Well Timmy, sometimes things just happen. Your fish died alone and frightened. You didn't take good enough care of him and now he's paid for your mistake. Good job.

WHEN EXACTLY DID THIS STRIP START? Honestly, I'm just not sure! Sometime around National Cartoonist's Day, 2000.

WHERE DOES THE LINK IN THE RESPONSE TO THIS QUESTION LEAD TO?-You mean this? Click it and see.


(For the sake of my further amusement, you will now be referred to as Sir Tiddlybutt Von Widdlybottom III. And for the record, I was kidding about my parents experimenting in the '60's.)

HOW DOES ONE GO ABOUT MAKING A WEB PAGE?-Well Sir Tiddlybutt Von Widdlybottom III, first one must seek out the magical Elderberry Tree which appears only under the light of the full moon. There you will find a fierce Dragon named Carl (pronounced "Steve") who will ask you three riddles. If you get one wrong you will of course be devoured, but guess the answers to all three correctly and the dragon will grant you access to the Tree. Then you must pick enough Elderberries to fill your shoes and take them to Lady Mobadrizzle, the kindly old Internet Witch. Once she has them she will stir them in her mystic cauldron for three days and three nights, at the end of which she'll have a seizure and collapse. You must then tell her you'll call 911 if, and ONLY if she tells you how to start a webpage. She'll be vulnerable and unable to refuse, and so will reference you to several very helpful how-to pages. The rest is up to you. Of course, this is if she's still alive... I was in kind of a hurry and didn't bother to call.


(The rest of these are questions brought up in the Forum by people who decided to ruin my fun by already having names.)

ARE YOU RELATED TO BUN-BUN?-No, no, dear God no, I'm not related to Bun-Bun. Thank God. If he knew I had a telemarketer as a main character I'd wager he'd mess me up something fierce.

HOW MANY "PERV" SHIRTS DOES JACK HAVE? OR DOES HE ONLY HAVE ONE AND IT'S SOMEHOW INCREDIBLY FLAME-RESISTANT?(Drooling Iguana)-Jack is a cartoon character, and as such has an infinite number of the same shirt simply because it's part of his character design. Besides, he likes to advertise. Plus they're the cheapest brand of shirts he can find.

WHAT KIND OF VOICE IS REPRESENTED BY THOSE SPIKY SPEECH-BUBBLES?(Hello)-Sandra's voice is subtly different since she changed, taking on an undefinable, otherworldly sound, vaguely raspy I would imagine.

HOW INFLUENCED ARE YOU BY YOUR READERS?(Tomartin)-Hard to say for sure. Most of the time a reader influences me most directly when they ask a question or make a comment which sets me to thinking in a certain direction, like "Hey, how does Sandra handle silverware?" or "How can hairstyles be hereditary?" or "Oh God, why are my eyes gone? What have you done with my eyes??" I'm probably more influenced by this than I'd like to believe, so odds are much of the development of Zebra Girl is owed to reader input.

HOW'N'ELL DOES CRYSTAL GET HER HAIR THAT WAY? IS IT GENETIC, 'CAUSE JACK HAS THE SAME DO IN THE MALE VERSION... OR DO THEY JUST USE THE SAM HAIR GEL... ::HMM, BAD CURLING IRON ACCIDENT AS CHILDREN? HEH, CHILD STARS? HEH, SOUNDS LIKE A FUN FANFIC, OH WAIT POSTING UMMM....:: ANOTHER HAIR Q, IS SANDRA'S (HAIR) SUPPOSED TO GIVE THE SAME EFFECT AS THE HALO ON HER SHIRT? 'CAUSE IT LOOKS KINDA LIKE AN OVERSIZED HALO... THAT SLIPPED OFF HER HEAD AND GOT STUCK ON THE HORNS... (JOKE! JOKE! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!)(Miffy)-The story behind Crystal and Jack's hairstyle is a long and shadowy tale which I dare not relate here. As for Sandra, I was just trying to make her look cool.

HOW FAR AHEAD DOES YOUR STORY LINE GENERALLY EXTEND? DO YOU JUST COMPOSE EACH STRIP AS THE MOOD TAKES YOU, OR DO YOU HAVE AN ELABORATE PLOT LAYOUT THAT COULD -- USED CAREFULLY -- LAST YOU SEVERAL MONTHS?(gsteemso)-Glad you asked. It's really a little of Column A and a little of Column B. I do have many plans and specific plot twists in mind for the future of the strip, but how I reach those ends is something I'm more often than not making up as I go along. I find it helps maintain spontenaity while keeping a consistent storyline intact.

HOW DO YOU PREFER TO BE ADDRESSED?(gsteemso)- Either "Joe" or "Dread Master" suits me just fine.

SAY, IF I WANTED TO, COULD I JUST SEND YOU A DRAWING FOR YOUR FAN ART PAGE?(stinkywigfiddle)-Why, sure! Any and all fan art is more than welcome. Just send it on over and I'll put it up faster than some really fast thing that's all fast!

ZEBRA GIRL RUNS AN ONLINE TECH SUPPORT SERVICE. MY QUESTION IS, HOW DOES SHE TYPE?(SeanLMcLane)-Isn't easy. Before anyone becomes proficient with a keyboard they type slowly, key by key, looking for the one they want and punching it. It isn't efficient, but it gets the job done. It's much the same for Sandra. Her typing is awkward (try to imagine typing with chopsticks), but she manages. As time passes she'll develop her own system, her own way of placing her hands (claws, whatever) over the keyboard and coordinating her movements. I would imagine it's more difficult than learning how to type the first time, but not impossible.

DOES SANDRA HAVE SMOOTH SKIN, OR ARE THE STRIPS ON A LAYER OF VERY SHORT FUR?(SeanLMcLane)-Furry Sandra... there's a cute thought. No, Sandra simply has groovy demon skin coloration.

WHAT COLOR WERE HER HAIR AND EYES BEFORE SHE CHANGED?(SeanLMcLane)-Zoë blue and green. Respectively.

HOW CAN SHE GRAB THINGS? HER CLAWS LOOK LIKE THEY'RE MADE OUT OF THE SAME HARD STUFF AS THE HORNS, AND ARE PRESUMABLY FARLY SPIKY. IF SHE CLOSES HER FINGERS MORE THAN ABOUT HALFWAY, IT OUGHT TO OPEN UP HER FOREARM AS THOUGH SHE WERE TRYING TO COMMIT SUICIDE! IN THE SAME VEIN, AHAHAHA, HOW COULD SHE DO BASIC STUFF LIKE WASH HER FACE IN THE MORNING? ASSUMING SHE AVOIDED PUTTING OUT HER EYES DOING THAT, HOW COULD SHE (FOR EXAMPLE) TAKE A SHOWER WITHOUT STABBING HERSELF IN ONE OF THE HUMAN -- OK, HUMANOID DEMONIC -- BODY'S INNUMERABLE CREVICES AND CONCAVE AREAS?(gsteemso)-Damn, they're getting smarter... better make this good. It's not easy for Sandra to manipulate things as well as she used to but, once again, it's not impossible. It's all a matter of learning to use what you have. For the record, her fingers are relatively hard, but have more of a flesh-like consistency than her horns. Just as all Earthly animals have evolved so that they're safe from their own natural defenses, demon skin is smooth and tough enough so that their claws won't peirce unless applied directly. When they close their fingers into a fist natural instinct forces caution. In other words, Darwin's got it covered. At least for Sandra's species. All demons are unique. As for washing herself, much of that comes from the use of the palm, not the fingers, so Sandra can wash pretty much as well as she used to. Long fingers can make washing certain areas difficult, but, once again, not impossible. Geez, I just made some major points here. I should make a new section or something.
*Fun Fact: Sandra doesn't need to brush her teeth anymore. Her acidic saliva cleans better than toothpaste ever did. Just thought I'd mention, so long as we're on the topic of hygiene.*

DARE I ASK ABOUT SANDRA'S DIFFICULTIES WITH TOILET PAPER?(SeanLMcLane)-No. You daren't.

ALRIGHT, WE'LL LEAVE SOME THINGS A MYSTERY... ON THE TOPIC OF HYGIENE, WITH HER ACIDIC SECRETIONS, THERE PROBABLY IS NO MORE NEED TO WORRY ABOUT HAIR CLOGGING THE DRAIN IN THE SHOWER, EH?(SeanLMcLane)-What??

SAM SPRINKLES - IS HE JOE'S GOOD TWIN? (USUALLY WE ASSUME EVIL TWIN BUT JOE IS OBVIOUSLY MORE EVIL THAN SAM) I MEAN, HE IS A RABBIT... LOOKS KINDA... NAAA. OH WELL.(Miffy)-I admit there's a resemblance, but it's really only due to my drawing style for rabbits. 'Sides, my good twin has clear eyes.

THE ONE THING I WANTED TO KNOW WAS THE CLOTHES THING, YOU HAVE THAT TIGHT TOP THINGO, WITH A HEAD LIKE A PARK FOUNTAIN, NOT TO MENTION THE BOVINE-ESQUE LEG STRUCTURE. OF COURSE, THIS IS A COMIC, NO ONE QUESTIONED THE WEAPON-X PROJECT................MUCH. AND JUST HOW CAREFULLY DO YOU NEED TO CLOSE TOMIE? DOES HE ACCEPT BOOK MARKS, OR ARE THEY A FOOD SOURCE? WHY WAS DR. BROADSHOULDERS IN THE BOOK-PLACE-CAFE THING WITH SANDRA IN FULL VIEW? WILL I EVER GET A LIFE?(Rabidazell)-Gah! I wasn't expecting the Spanish Inquisition! But then, no one does. Okay, um... Her shirt, well, it just has a very elastic top, and her pants are pretty easy to put on despite her freakishly malformed legs. Tomie doesn't need to be closed any particular way (just not slammed!), nor does he mind bookmarks. And he doesn't eat. He's a book. As for Dr. Broadshoulders, I'm not giving any information that could spoil future story lines. And no.

WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THE POSSIBILITY OF CROSSING OVER WITH OTHER WEBCOMICS AT SOME POINT IN THE FUTURE?(gsteemso)-Crossing over has long been in the back of my brain. Mixing with Sluggy might be a bit beyond me for now (though I did see striking parallels between our two strips in the whole "Demon Hunter" storyline last Halloween), but other, less prestigious webcomics perhaps. As we speak plans are festering and brewing, looking for a good excuse. Just you wait, I've got something in mind...

SO WILL SANDRA HAVE OTHER OPTIONS FOR CLOTHING BESIDES THE CLOAK AND T-SHIRT?? OR WILL SHE SPORT THESE USUAL CLOTHES DUE TO CHARACTER DESIGN?(Compctr)-Good question. I try to keep character design pretty consistent, but Sandra most likely does have other clothing options she'll want to flaunt from time to time. Besides, character design can change - just look at Crystal!

YOUR ARTISTIC STYLE IS OBVIOUSLY VERY WELL DEVELOPED. PROBABLY A STUPID QUESTION AND ONE THAT'S ALREADY BEEN ASKED, BUT HAVE YOU TAKEN ANY ART CLASSES OR ARE YOU COMPLETELY SELF-TAUGHT?(ErsatzComics)-Glad you asked. I was pretty much entirely self-taught up until a few years ago when I began studies at the Savannah College of Art and Design. It's the only school in the country (Hell, maybe the world) which offers majors in Sequential Art, otherwise known as cartoonanizistazation. I intend to specialize in ceramic bell painting.
Though I like to think that my skills were already progressing rather well beforehand, I have to give credit where credit's due. The college has helped me refine my technical skills considerably and broadened my psychological perceptions of the medium. Of course, my greatest learning experience over the past year and a half has undoubtedly been producing Zebra Girl.
And yes, I was kidding about the ceramic bells. Duh.

WHAT IS WINKING? IS IT CLOSING ONE EYE? OR LEAVING ONE EYE OPEN? HOW WOULD SANDRA DO IT? WOULD SHE CLOSE ONE EYE, CLOSE TWO EYES, WHAT? OH, AND IF I WERE TO BECOME YOUR HENCHLING, JOE, WOULD I GET METAL TEETH?(No one of Any Importance)-Ah, someone's been watching Adult Swim! We don't have metal teeth in the budget, but you would get a poisonous dart-shooting tongue. Very creepy.
Oh, right... I would guess one eye.

HOW BIG ARE YOUR FRAMES ON THE NOT-SUNDAY-STRIP-SIZE-COMICS?(Rabidazell)-Comic size, you mean? The big comics are approximately 7 1/2 X 10 1/4 inches, the small ones about 7 1/4 X 2 1/2. After scanning I try to keep the small ones near 4.907 in. wide and the big'uns at 4.667 (in photoshop speak, that is).

DAMN, WHY IS IT EVERY TIME I PRESS THE "NEW TOPIC" LINK ON THESE COMIC FORUMS I LOSE ALL INSPIRATION?(Rabidazell)-Because God doesn't like you.


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