Sitting here at 13 years old, almost 14 mind you most people tell me that I’m too young to know what love is. There was a time when I would have told them that maybe, just maybe, they were right. Well this is not one of those times. Maybe love is something most people experience when their older, but can’t some people bloom early?

It really is amazing how much you remember about your first ‘crush’ and how little you remember about other people. Sitting here now I’m remembering so many things that have happened between ‘that boy’ and I can barley remember what my friend Amanda and I talked about at the mall a couple of days ago. As stupid as it may sound that is my definition of love. In the following paragraphs I will tell you exactly how ‘that boy’ changed my whole life and how I do believe that I am in love with him.

I remember it vividly, I really do. It was December 4, 1998, my seventh grade year. My science teacher had just given us new seats and of course they were boy-girl arrangements. I was new at that school that year so I sat quietly copying the drill while others chatted about the latest seventh grade who was going-out with who stories. In simpler terms, I was eves dropping. That really was how I learned what was going on, but, anyways, back to my point. He tapped me on the shoulder and I looked up, somewhat annoyed, I mean, I was in the middle of hearing about some unknown person being dumped by some unknown person, it seemed like important stuff to know.

“Your name’s Bethany right? I think you were in my integration class last month.”

“Yep, that’s me” I replied shocked that someone actually knew my name.

“Ok cool, I’m Brent by the way, you’re new here aren’t ya?”

“Yeah, I moved here from North Carolina over the summer.”

“Really? That’s pretty cool, I’ve never really lived outside of Maryland.”

“Yeah, that seems to be a common trend here.” I said as I got back to my work.

I know it wasn’t the nicest thing to say, but I wasn’t used to being treated so well, nicely. Most people sorta said hi and turned back to their friends. I somewhat regretted saying it, because there was something about Brent that I really liked.

We had a split science period. Which means simply that we went to lunch 20 minutes into the class period and came back for another 30 minutes afterwards. Well, when we got back we had some kind of partner thing to do for the rest of the class.

It was the first time I had ever really smiled while doing group work. I was somewhat a loner that year. He was making me laugh so hard and those eyes, I couldn’t stop looking at them. I felt somewhat silly, I mean me, Bethany [edited for internet purposes only], the loner from North Carolina, was sitting there giggling like some second grader! I loved it! This could have been the start to something very beautiful.

A few months later we started doing more lab assignments and my friend Krystal was in my lab group along with another boy and Brent. The night after the first lab I got a phone call from her.

“You like Brent don’t you?”

I felt my face get very hot as I said “Why do you want to know”.

“I really don’t care, but he thinks you do.”

“Really? I wonder why.”

“Bethany, it’s obvious, you’re always laughing at him and looking at him in band.”

“Well,” I paused, thinking very hard about my answer, “I don’t I just think he’s really funny, I don’t try to look at him either.” Which also meant, of course I liked him, I was crazy about him, I just didn’t want anyone to know.

“Ok, that’s fine too, want me to tell him that?”

“I really don’t care.”

With that we hung up the phone, for some reason I regretted saying what I said, but maybe it would work out for the best in the long run.

The next day something was wrong with him, the sparkle was out of his eye. I asked him what was wrong.

“Laura” meaning his girl friend of course, “dumped me.”

With that I wanted to jump up in the air screaming and confessing my love for him, but instead I replied with an oh, I’m so sorry.

Months passed and I somehow got Brent to give me his America Online screen name and our relationship grew stronger as I grew less shy for some reason. When one day in late May something changed my life forever.

Our seats had been changed around but Krystal was still in my lab group because she now sat in front of me in science class. We had some what of a free period so we were talking. I had finally told her by then, that I liked Brent, a lot. I don’t really remember what I did but I did something to make her mad because she threatened to tell Brent that I liked him. I remember the astonished look on her face, as well as mine, when I said, “I don’t care.” Now, don’t ask me why I said it because I really don’t know. It was almost automatic, like some force was driving me to say it. It’s not something that’s “like me”, but for some reason I felt that someone up there was on my side and it would turn out for the better.

“Can I really do it?” she replied, I could see the gears in her head working.

“Sure, what do I have to loose.”

She told him after class I know that because she hurried me off to band and I looked back a little bit and realized she was talking to him. When he looked ahead at me I practically ran to the band room. Krystal never did tell me what he said about me, but it must have been something not bad because ever since that day our relationship has grown much stronger.

Over the summer and at various sleepovers my friends have told me that I’m going to be the one that stops his wedding. Only because I get insanely jealous of any girlfriends he has. Even now when I’ve got a boyfriend of my own. Which I know is terrible, I’ve got feelings for my boyfriend, but there’s just something about Brent that wont go away. I’ve liked him for 19 months now and we have been through so much together. I even told him how I feel about him in his eighth grade year book. Will I have a crush on him forever? Maybe, we’re going to different schools next year but it’s still possible. Maybe my friends are right, maybe I will be the one that stops his wedding. Time will only tell. There’s a quote that goes something like “People say you never forget your first love, it’s because you never stop loving them.” I think it describes my situation beautifully. I don’t know, my friend seems to think we’ll end up together, and if that’s the case, I won't stop his wedding!