Wasszzup! The Super Friends Waasszzup Bud Lite Commercial. Click to download.
This is a Monkey who sniffs his ass. Find out what happens next by downloading it
Watch this cat get hit and then brake its neck, but its hilarious. Must Download!
What do you call and Eskimo Lesbian?
A Klondike.
What was the first thing Adam said to Eve?
"Stand Back! I don't know how big this thing gets!"
What does Denise Richards and a Shot gun have in Common?
A little Cock and they are ready to go.
Why don't Sanfrancisco Cheerleaders where skirts?
When they do, thier balls hang out.
What do you call a heart transplant? Bysectame.How about when you turn a women into a man? Addadicktome.
The owner of the Chinese Restaurant and his wife are sitting in bed.
"I want 69 NOW!"The owner says to his wife.
"Why you want Beef and Broccoli Now?" she asks.
Why do Nipples have bumps on them?
It's Brail for "Lick Here"
Here is what TV Wants
What do Fat Women Do in the Summer?
Stink.
Why do men beat thier wives?
Why not?
Why do Sumo Wrestlers shave thier legs?
So they don't look like lesbians.
Why isn't there any toilet paper in KFC?
Because it's Finger lickin' good!
How do you stop Paulie Shore from drowning?
Take your foot off of his head.
What do you find in a clean nose?
Finger prints.
Did you hear about Divorce Barbie?
It comes with all of Ken's Shit.
What did the mother name her children?
Jose and Hose B.
What do you call the stuff at the bottom of a girl's underware?
Kitty Litter.
What do you call an Omish guy with his hand up a horses ass?
A mechanic.
What is AIDS to a gay guy?
The ultimate diet.
Is it true that Master P talks funny?
No, it's a miff.
How do you circumcise a hick?
Kick his cousin in the chin.
What do you call a chubby Texian with a long white beard?
Why do girls fart after they pee?
They can't shake, so they blow dry.
What is the best way to cure constapation?
Sit on a block of cheese and swallow a mouse.
What is the difference from Out-Laws and in-laws
Out-Laws are wanted.
How can you tell one end of a worm from the other?
Put it in a bowl of flour and wait until it farts.
You know how a rooster says, "Cockadoodledo,", Denise Richards says, "Anycock'lldo."
What id the smartest thing to come out of a woman's mouth?
Einstien's Cock.
"I need $20"
"What for, son?"
"A blowjob."
I dunno son, how good are you?"
Why don't elephant's wear tampons?
You wouldn't use em' either if you had to put them in with your nose.
What is the quietist place in the world?
The complaint department at the parachute packing plant.
What animal has an asshole in the middle of it's back?
Prince Charle's horse.
Why did the divorced guy hang a picture of his ex-wife over his TV?
To remind him where his VCR went.
Why did Chris Lowell cut holes in his pockets?
So he could run his fingers through his hair.
Remember... if it smells like fish, it's a dish, if it smells like cologne, leave it alone.
What does an 850 lb. gerbil do for fun?
He shoves gay guys up his ass.
How do you paralyze a woman from the waist down?
Marry her.
Why doesn't New York have Mardi Gras?
Because they don't need a reason to get drunk and piss in the streets.
A little blow, a little mock, a little sock on your cock.
Collis walks into a store.
He says to the sales girl, "I want to buy some toilet paper."
She says,"What color?"
He says,"Give me white, I'll color it myself."
Why do dogs lick thier ass?
Because they know, in five minutes they will be licking your face.
A cab driver picks up a nun. He turns to the back and tells her,"You know I have always fantasized about being with a nun."
"Yea, well are you Catholic?"she asks.
"Yes I am," he says.
"Pull over!" she says
When he pulls over, the nun hops into the front seat and gives him the best blowjob he has ever had."Sister, I have something to say. I'm not really Cathlic,"he tells her.
"Oh yea? Well my name is Ralph, and I'm on my way to a costume party."
How did Hellen Keller discover masterbation?
Trying to read her lips.
How can you tell if your sperm count is high.
If a woman has to chew before she swallows.
What's the definition of Henpecked?
A sterile husband afraid to tell his pregnant wife.
Why was Paulie Shore fired from his job as the elevator boy?
He couldn't learn the route.
Why didn't superman save the boy who was caught in a tree?
He couldn't get out of his wheel chair.
What's grosser than gross?
Having a dream about eating pudding and waking up with a spoon in your ass.
Jack and Jill went up the hill, riding on a donkey. Jill got off to help Jack-off the donkey.
Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard
To get the poor dog a bone
But when she over
Rover took over
And gave her a bone of his own!
Why does a cat lick her fur?
Because she can't lick her pussy.
What do you call 1000 rabbits in a row hopping backwards?
A receding hair line.
When the reindeer go out with Santa, what do thier wives do?
They go into town to blow a few bucks.
What was Moby Dick's father's name?
Papa Boner.
Why do dogs stick thier noses in womans crotch?
Because they can.
What did the Hooker say when John handed her money?
"It's been buisness doing pleasure with you.
What do you call a female peacock?
Peacunt.
Little Jack Horner sat in the corner
Fondling his dick and balls
Along came his mother
Who scolded "OH brother-
You better get that off the wall!"
What is six inches long,has a head on it, nad makes woman go crazy?
Money.
What is the difference between lightening and electricity?
Lightening doesn't cost anything.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
A stick.
Do you have holes in your socks?
No?
Then how did you get your feet in?
Why are so many lesbians vegetarians?
They don't want anything to do with meat
What did you yell at a Roman golf course?
"Iv!"
Why are pool tables green?
If you had your balls racked, you'd be green too.
AND NOW, FOR SOME LONG JOKES.
"My Mommie is better,"Billy argued.
"NO my mommie!"Jim said back.
Then, the big kid, John walked up.
"Listen, my daddy said that Bill's mommy is better."
How do you know god is a man?
If he was a woman, Sperm would taste like chocolate.
Why did the feminist cross the road?
To suck my fucking dick!
What do you need to know to be a plumber?
Shit flows uphill, and don't bite your fingernails.
How do you know its time to eat after eating Mexican food?
Your asshole stops burning.
MC Hammer trying to molest some one......
"Hey kid, wanna buy some candy?"
Michael Jackson and the doctor are walking out of the operation room, right after his wife gave birth to a baby....
"How long before we can have sex?" Mike asks
"Woa! At least wait until he's walking."
What do you call a guy with no legs, no arms, deaf, blind, with a 12 inch dick?
Partially handicapped.
Rich man says to the poor man,"I bought my wife a dymond and a mercedes. If she doesn't like the dymond, she can go take it back in the Mercedes. What did you buy your wife?"
The poor man says, "I bought her a pair of slippers and a dildo. If she doesn't like the slippers, she can go fuck herself."
Why do blondes hate M&M's?
Too hard to peel.
How is a condom like your wife?
They spend too much time in your wallet and not on your dick.
Three prisoners are standing in line waiting to go into prison. They are allowed to take one thing with them.
Second prisoner says to the first prisoner, "What'd you bring?"
He says,"$200 so I can buy porno. How 'bout you?"
"I brought Tampax Tampons," he says.
"Why?" the first guy says.
"It says that I can go skiing, roller skating, swimming, running, and anything I want with them."
How do you increase the maximum occupancy of a gay bar by four?
Turn the bar stools up side down.
THANK YOU FOR READING THE JOKES SECTION. CHECK AGAIN TOMORROW FOR A FEW MORE JOKES. I'M SORRY IF I OFFENDED YOU, THOUGH. THANK YOU.
FUNNY PICTURES
Stupid Fun
What do you call it when the Pope takes a dump?
Holy Shit!
Where do you find a turtle with no legs?
Right wear you left him.
What do you call it when a girl decides to become a nun at 16?
Premature Immaculation!
What do ya call a tall, red thing, that wears a red hat and squirts water at you when something gets hot?
A fireman! (Fooled You, huh.)
