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5:37 pm
“Hello?”
“Mr. Arnold?”
“Yes?”
“How are you this evening?”
“Uh, geez – look, I just sat down to dinner.”
“When’s a more convenient time?”
“How about never?”
click
6:30 pm
“Hello?”
“Mr. Arnold?”
“Yeah?”
“How was dinner?”
“What? Oh. Hey, let’s be honest here. I can’t stand you people, always interrupting meals, T.V., time with my family. Whatever you’re selling, I’m not interested.”
“I apologize, but - ”
click
7:15 pm
ring…
click
7:45 pm
“Hello?”
“Mr. Arnold?”
“I thought I told you – ”
“Did you listen to the message I left?”
“You mean when you called, what, twenty, thirty minutes ago?”
“Yes.”
“You’re a persistent little prick aren’t you? Calling from a different number so I wouldn’t recognize it on the caller I.D. – ”
“Did you listen to the message?”
“No!”
click
9:45 pm
“Hello?”
“Mr. Arnold?”
“Ssshhhit…”
“If I could just take a few minutes of your time.”
“Do the words ‘Do Not Call List’ mean anything to you?”
“Please. It will only take a minute.”
“No. N. O. No. No, no, no!”
click
11:30 pm
“What?”
“Mr. Arnold?”
“Aw, gee-ZUZ!”
click
11:33 pm
11:36 pm
11:39 pm
11:45 pm
11:48 pm
“Listen, you idiot, I’m calling the cops. I’m giving them all the numbers you’ve called from. Then I’m suing your ass, your company’s ass, and if your mother’s still alive, I’ll sue her ass, too. You got that?”
“Got it, but Mr. Arnold, just let me say three words.”
“You’re digging a deeper hole, buddy.”
“Kraaken Zum Tweenz.”
“Excuse you?”
“Kraaken Zum Tweenz.”
“Uh…”
“Do you understand?”
“…”
“Mr. Arnold?”
“…”
“Hello?”
“Shit.”
“Do you understand?”
“Yeah.”
“What?”
“Yes. Yes, I understand. Sir.”
“Be ready in ten minutes.”
“Ten minutes?”
“You should’ve listened to me earlier. Give your mate and spawn a kiss goodbye, then prepare for transport. Our time has come.”
“Sir?”
“Nine minutes. Midnight.”
“Yes, sir.”
click
11:52 pm
“Honey? Who was that?”
“Nobody, dear. Just another phone solicitor. Go back to sleep.”
“…”
“…”
“You haven’t kissed me like that in a long time.”
“I love you. Now go back to sleep.”
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