~*~The Eel~*~
Little Johnny was 12 years old and like other boys
his age rather
curious.
He had been hearing quite a bit about 'courting' from the older boys,
and
he wondered what it was and how it was done.
One day he took his question to
his mother,
who became rather flustered.
Instead of explaining things to
Johnny,
she told him to hide behind the curtains one night and watch his older
Sister and her boyfriend.
This he did.
The following morning,
Johnny described
everything to his mother.
'Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for a while,
then he turned off
most of the lights.
Then he started kissing and hugging her.
I figured Sis
must be getting sick,
because her face started looking funny.
He must have
thought so too,
because he put his hand inside her blouse to feel her heart,
just
the way the doctor would.
Except he's not as smart as the doctor because he
seemed to have trouble finding her heart.
I guess he was getting sick too,
because pretty soon both of them started panting
and gettin all out of
breath.
His other hand must of been cold because he put it under her skirt.
About
this time Sis got worse and began to moan and
sigh and squirm around
and slide down toward the end of the couch.
This was when her fever started.
I knew it was a fever,
because Sis told him
She felt really hot.
Finally, I found out what was making them so sick --
a
Big eel had gotten inside his pants somehow.
It just jumped out of his pants
And stood there,
about 10 inches long,
honest, anyway he grabbed it in one
hand to keep it from getting away.
When Sis saw it, she got really scared
-- her eyes got big, and her mouth
fell open,
and she started calling out to
God and stuff like that.
She said it was the biggest one she's ever seen;
I
Should tell her about the ones down at the lake.
Anyway,
Sis got brave and tried
To kill the eel by biting its head off.
All of a sudden she grabbed it with
Both hands and held it tight while he took a muzzle
out of his pocket and
Slipped it over the eel's head to keep it from biting again.
Sis lay back and
Spread her legs so she could get a
scissor-lock on it and he helped by lying on
Top of the eel.
The eel put up a hell of a fight.
Sis started groaning and
squealing and her boyfriend almost upset the couch.
I guess they wanted to
kill the eel by squashing it between them.
After a while they both quit moving and gave a great sigh.
Her boyfriend
got up, and sure enough,
they killed the eel. I knew because it just hung
there, limp,
and some of its insides were hanging out.
Sis and her boyfriend
were a little tired from the battle,
but they went back to courting anyway.
He started hugging and kissing her again.
By golly, the eel wasn't dead!
It jumped straight up and started to fight again.
I guess eels are like cats –
they
have nine lives or something.
This time, Sis jumped up and tried to kill it by sitting on it.
After a 35 minute struggle,
they finally killed the eel.
I knew it was
dead,
because I saw Sis's boyfriend peel
its skin off and flush it down the
toilet.
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