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DDawg'z Realm

Yo Mama is so old

  • she remembers the Grand Canyon when it was a ditch.
  • you gotta call the fire department when you light her birthday candles.
  • she's the only one who can get a senior citizens' discount at the old folks home.
  • her zip code is 00001.
  • her birth certificate was in Roman numerals.
  • her social security number is zero-zero-one.
  • I told her to act her own age and the bitch died.
  • she's older than anything in the local antique store.
  • the key on Ben Franklin's kite was to her apartment.
  • when she ran track in high school, they timed her with a sundial.
  • she got hired to baby-sit Cain and Abel.
  • she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
  • she's got Jesus' pager number.
  • when Moses parted the Red Sea, she was on the other side fishin'.
  • when she reads the bible she reminisces.
  • she co-wrote one of the Ten Commandments.
  • she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.
  • she left her purse on Noah's Ark.
  • her birth certificate says, "Expired!" on it.
  • when you ask for her ID, she hands you a rock.
  • she farts out dust.
  • she squirts powdered milk out her nipples.
  • the milk in her tits is stale.
  • her tits are a 34-long.
  • I slapped her on the back and her tits fell off.
  • when she gave birth, YOU came out with dentures.
  • she knew the Garden of Eden when it was a plant.
  • I found cave drawings of her.
  • she used a brontasaurus to get her drivers' license.
  • Jurassic Park brought back memories.