Site hosted by Build your free website today!

DDawg'z Realm

Yo Mama is so ugly

  • your daddy takes her to work so he doesn't need to kiss her goodbye.
  • she looked out the window and got arrested for mooning.
  • when she tried joining an ugly contest, they said, "Sorry, no professionals!"
  • Rice Krispies won't talk to her.
  • she makes blind kids cry.
  • she makes onions cry.
  • I can fuck her in any position and its still doggy style.
  • when she threw a boomerang, it wouldn't come back.
  • the last time she heard a whistle was when she got hit by a train.
  • the psychiatrist makes her lie face-down.
  • when she looks in the mirror, her pimples popped back in.
  • when she gets up, the sun goes down.
  • the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
  • on Halloween, people go as her.
  • she has to "Trick or Treat" over the phone.
  • instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck.
  • when she walked into a haunted house, she came out with a paycheck.
  • when she was born, the doctor slapped her mother.
  • when she was born, her mom said, "What a treasure!"; and your dad replied, "Yeah, let's go bury it."
  • when she was born, the doctor slapped the wrong end.
  • they push her face into the dough to make gorilla cookies.
  • when I took her to the zoo, a guy at the door said, "Thanks for bringing her back."
  • they put her in the zoo to keep the monkeys from jerking off.
  • they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower.
  • the prince would rather live as a frog than kiss her.
  • she's got little circles all over her body from people touching her with 10-foot poles.
  • her mom had to be drunk to breastfeed her.
  • her mom had to tie a steak around her neck so the dogs would play with her.
  • her mom had to feed her with a slingshot.
  • her picture is on the inside of a Roach Motel.
  • her American Express card left home without her.
  • they put her face on box of Ex-Lax and sold it empty.
  • when she passes by your bathroom, the toilet flushes.
  • when she was born, they put her in an incubator with tinted windows.
  • her parents first named her "Accident".
  • they knew what time she was born, because her face stopped the clock!
  • she must've been born on the freeway -- that's where most accidents happen.
  • when I see her, she reminds me of Taco Bell -- Run for the Border!
  • she took your dog to the Canine Show and won ... your dog came in second.
  • I saved her life by killing a shit-eating dog on the way over.
  • condom advocates wanted to use her as a poster child.
  • she makes me wish birth control is retroactive.