" Welcome my Hideaway disciples.I'm pleased to see that you've made it here. Seems like the past has come to haunt me again...but in a pleaseant way. Like the days when I used to dye the front of my hair green, walk to the Circle and meet up with friends. Friends who carried on a love affair with the pen and pills. Add me and we had a pretty groovy threesome of the mind. On sticky tables and smokey rooms we poured down thoughts and made art all night long at the Circle and other local poetry dives I dare not mention. Just when I thought those days were long gone...the nightly calling rituals began. Adelle, Azriael, Star, Dannior and Jazzabell ( even Walken at times ) were telling me to post more. We all agreed...it does have the darkest feel as you scroll on down through the madness. So before I pause and reflect on too much more...I present to you...Gallery Th3ree"
D.M.
" WATCH YOU"
By: D.M.
Created 8/3/1997
Giovannah spins circles in the rain - Giovannah takes a dagger in her hand
I fall back on my bed - I close my eyes
Giovannah doesn't know me...doesn't know I watch her die for every command
Crawl on your hands and knees
There's a place I like to go
I keep the lights off in this bedroom...I watch as I please
I know they know
There is no time in this wicked game
She loves it just the same
There are no secrets from this window of mine
It's only comfort and curiosity in my little teenage shrine
While everybody is asleep
These souls are mine - These souls I keep
Push the curtain back and watch the show
Can I learn from what I see? I think so...
Giovannah and her male drinking wine
Giovannah and in her leather sometimes
It's 1am when I watch these two
Do everything that I want to
" THE ART OF MADNESS"
By: D.M.
Created 3/13/2000
I'd examine all the houses in your chart
If I could understand the times we shared apart
You've been sleeping and together we can't dwell
Too many glitches here - In you I think I might as well know Hell
You said you like my lips painted up red - You said you wanted this
I can't wear that shade no more...it's too bitter when we kiss
So, I run away from you...I can't seem to get away
I and You, and everything else...You look one hundred percent better when I can't see you today
I slept in your bed and watched you toss and turn
Watched you turn me off
I wished that you were some place else
Woke up to your kisses and...why can't you just burn?
I ran thousands of miles just to get myself away from everything you are
I ran out of breath and still breathed in the exhaust from your car
I became soaking wet in the rain...trying to wash away whats been
It's not the same anymore...flesh on flesh and sin after sin - It makes my patience wear thin
I'd examine all of the stars in your chart if I could..but no longer can I work that magic
I'd be wise to just up and go but you just can't fathom that what we have has turned tragic
Who have I become when I'm looking for ways to seperate myself from you completely
But you just corner me when you can - Touch me and tell me how much you want to fuck me
I'd examine all of the aspects that you were born with - That you really are
I just don't give a damn that you wear lust for me as a scar
I'd be wise to just say nothing at all...and finally disappear
In my mind I despise your face - Despise when you are near
Now I've run and where have I gone?
Because with you I can't breathe and with you I can't believe I've lasted this long
Now I've vanished into thin air because with you I can't see and with you I can't be
Now it's over and out, now it's over I said...because with you I couldn't feel and with you I couldn't be me
" PALAEOANTHROPIC"
By: D.M and Azriael Rubens
( Azriael Rubens Lines ( * ) D.M.'s Lines ( + )
Created 9/18/2000
*I still get nightmares and sadly I'm not looking foward to the prospect
+ I still wonder about all of you...I thought you deserved that respect
*Are you there? Pick Up please...Hello?
+ Come back here...Pretty please...I miss ya...ya know...?
* I'm haunted by the lives that spinned our web
+ I'm wanted by the tides that pull me in my bed
* By the years that have been dead?
+ Inside you and I...inside our skin...Inside our head
* I need to get my almost together and my shadows keep looking like you
+ And my blood still aches through and through...
* I closed my eyes and I'm not holding a grudge
+ I'm not either but I'm still not falling in love
* Can't you spin a spell for us to change into shade?
+ My actions that I've hated...My golden hair that fades?
* I love you as one might love a god or a daughter
+ Well, because of you my thirst keeps growing...and who's blood is thicker than water?
* Certainly not who we used to be. Not who we thought we'd become
+ I was wrong too...that place wasn't my home
* I'd pray to everybody that you'd pray to any god who would tell you who you really are
+ I can't even tell myself who I really am...are you really who YOU are?
* Can you tell me where I am? I need to bend down into a hug with you
+ You're biblical and blasphemous...I need to reach these arms out too
* It's Midnight. Have I failed you? I'll fix what I made wrong
+ I'm thinking to myself...21 years later...there's no wrong for that long...
* He closed his eyes and he left you alone
+ I know...I saw him that night....I was a child who had grown
* I want to say something but my mouth can't form the words I want to say
+ I'll read your mind...I always do...Will that make it better in some way?
* I want to do what you can. All I can do is simply draw my hands to my face like I want to pray
+ You're aching again....I'm in love with our past....It's written in the minutes of today
* You know you're going to haunt me for the rest of my life. Don't you?
+ No...But you know me too well...No...And you'd know by now you're gonna haunt me too
* What if I sang you brave sonnets by a flame?
+ We'd still feel the same
* What if I broke the silence again?
+Then you're a true friend
* Stand. Fall. Stand again.
+ Whisper for a reason
* It's all the same in the end
+ Stand tall...Fall...And never get up again
* Until you're sure this is where we begin
+ And we end
( It was really late at night and I was on the phone with my dear friend Azriael. Again we were yacking to each other about how we used to write poetry at The Circle when I was 16 and he was 22. We decided that it might be a good time to play an old game we used to play when we got bored. He'd start with a line and I'd finish it with one of my own. I loved the way this poem turned out...so Azzy...Thank you again...for playing and sparking my creativity. )
" FEVERISH THROUGH PALE DECEMBER"
By: D.M.
Created 4/29/2000
Nearly 3am waking up in the middle of pale December
My body's temperature at 103...surprised I could remember
Walking almost zero - Walking naked to the yard
The blades of grass were frozen...I stretched my shape and let down my guard
His name was Pale December...he made his way to my side
Like I wish he would...he opened up more than this, He didn't hide
My imposter, my saviour...my " Could be that " He brought me to a dark place
I was becoming delerious and frozen....he took me inside
Took off my clothes and watched me stand naked in time
Fever breaking...whats done will be done...whats more...he said " You are mine."
I turned around...his glances sweeping over every curve
Open window and a post midnight sky...vampires and warlocks...Where did I get this nerve?
Pale December making me see all that I could see
Pale December making me behave the way I wanted to be
Pale December touching me under the mystic blanket of myth
I'm falling off the deep end...I'm falling off the world naked...I don't even know who I'm with
You don't know...you don't care...
You don't let me object...I don't think I could with that stare
Falling faster through the cracks of morality
Blessed creature...Pale December...Is your kiss of Immortality?
Hold my breath and drift away...eyes rolling back into my head
Opium pushing and pulling its way through my dreamscape...Am I allowed to remember everything he said?
I can't feel much more of anything...Or why he talks sofly while he's inside of me
Innocent and feverish...I have become naked with a stranger...Became naked with Pale December
And woke up at 3pm, in my bed, feeling Pale December's hands of lucidity
" THE MAZES I GROW"
By:D.M.
Created 8/5/2000
I'm every and every little inbetween
I've seen affection and seen what you mean
Call on me through the euphoric daze you swallowed
Did you come here unhurried? Or were you looking over your shoulder? Were you followed?
There's never been so much see until this night
We step from out of our bodies and seduce the naked through candle light
Open the window - Open the door - Open your soul quietly
Breathe in the sinners air - Breathe - Breathe silently
There's a place that I run to - The mazes I grow
Water my emotions - Feed my abilities - Starve everything I know
There's a place that I go to - The mazes I make
Forget every lesson learned...and learn there...that reality is a mistake
I'm every and every little fit of anger
Walls standing strong - walls hidden - walls of virgin danger
I'm every and every little you name it
Open the window - Take my hand - Let me show you - There is no tamming the fires that are lit
I'm waiting from a deep dreamscape
I'm dressed in all of my armour...I'm ready to escape
Open the window - You must set us free
I'm burning the mazes I grow - Open the window so that I can see
I'm every and every little what you dare
Open the window and breathe in my air
I'm every and every little what can be
The mazes I grow - Open the window - Come in and find your way out with me...
" DEVIL SEEDS"
By: D.M.
Created 8/17/2000
Too fast and too cold and too everything else that I've rushed
Too hard and too hot and too little of everything in this skin that's been hushed
And I rearrange all that I know
And I feel strange watching you grow
Sometimes I said it's better left alone
Sometimes I said it's better left blank than shown
So I slip when things start getting this way again my friend
And I slip when I loosed the ghosts at my wits end
Too little and too much but it's never enough of what I need
Too scared and too young and I'm growing all the devil seeds
And I hope that you're happy now that you've been too
Comfortable in the arms of this sin
Well, it makes no sense and it makes perfect sense
In all actuality it indicates this little coincidence
And it makes some sense in this order it makes so much sense
Well, it's looking like another part of my charming accidents
Too dense and too cluttered and too many things I say
Too true and too imbued and this shade of post mortem grey
I hope that your right and that I am just over reacting to things
But it's crushing me that I slip and I water all of the devil seeds
.....They grow into everything....
" A GENTLE KINGS SUICIDE"
By: D.M.
Created 8/26/2000
When no one knows your name
And God doesn't feel the same
Plow through a pack a day
Here's a cross to hang around on with me today...
( and it kind of goes something like this....)
I can't imagine how I ever got here in the first place
I wait and worry with this plastic smile on my face
What is this day and what the Hell am I still doing?
With every innocent victim you've been screwing
She says you're gone and you're going that way
She says so many things and who's next in line for you to play?
Didn't you know that things get completely out of hand?
She thinks I'm dangerous...why does she only understand?
No home - No heart
No tears to shed
No time apart
Nothing I've already said
I can't imagine you're living that other life
And I...Just can't imagine...curiosity becomes my strife
Who would have known, Who would have knew?
Who would have imagined this secret lies inside you?
Why am I checking? Why the fuck do I even care?
What do you do to me when I'm not aware?
When you've got so much to say
When you can't seem to say much today
So I wait and worry...In the shadows I sing
A song that you might hurry....hurry up and sever that string
Is it the Winter dawning in the air...Just an Icy blast?
Or perhaps a daydream....you've given up on Bull-Shit at last...
No home - No heart
No tears to shed
No time apart
Nothing I've already said
If I go off chasing those imaginary points of view
Would you imagine...imagine seeing you the way I do?
Should you think of me as blind....would you make fun of my dead sight?
Would you help me to understand why you choose to lie to me tonight?
Just when I've gotten stronger....here comes another painful dose of atrophy
Just when I can see again...I stumble through blindly
I can't walk beside you...You're pissing precious time away
I can't imagine...But you practice with all the toys WE have to play
No home - No heart
No tears to shed
No more time apart
It's nothing I've already said...
" UNDER THE BLUE"
By: D.M.
Created 8/25/2000
I've been all around this town through and through
Did you just call us amazing?
I've been caught up in the swaying waves under the blue
I've got to unleash this pent up anger - I've got to start concentrating
My sweet seedling and my sweet little student of the unknown
Take my hand and tumble with me under the blue...or tumble on you own
So, you've said you've got a new monster under your bed
It's just a monster and nothing more...just a conversation with a man gone dead
So, you've said you've learned a lot over the past year
Tumble with me under the blue....let the swaying of the waves wash away the fear
I've got an answer for your question
Don't tell anybody....It's not worth the effort to mention
I've got an answer - It's spoken in tongues
Just breathe it into those lungs
Sweet seedling, sweet student of all I have to teach
Move mountains at will my seedling, go on and preach
Meet me past the midnight hour and show me what form you take
We could arrive in the middle of nowhere by mistake
So, who the hell have I become when I'm tossing and I'm turning
The alters are flooded and drowning - The alters are burning
So, now what the hell are we supposed to do?
Sweet seedling hold on to this naked body and tumble in with me under the blue
I was a queen there for a night in that realm...cloaked in white velvet and steel
You became a soldier for my kingdom....you asked if I was really real
A casual kiss for my sweet seedling...a praise for what you do
Take my hand and let the waves carry us under the blue
" MATILDA'S MORVEN"
By: D.M.
Created 8/27/2000
On this night looking close to perfect
The same night we may lose our souls
You see whats cold...and the Devils hot coals
I see the Zodiac and You see Religion
I see the other side and I see Orion
Matilda's getting ready to lose herself at Morven...
I've become her right hand man
God is in the Television
God is in the Kitchen...God is burried under seventy tons of sand
On this eve, Yeah in this skin
Where are you running to Tilly? Where have you been going
To a church out south?
Perhaps a fortune teller not knowing?
Lets save the world in riddles
Lets take each others hand
And trade reality for a fist full of pills
Lets party with a dead man
On this night looking perfect, Yeah we could lose our sanity
I'll become your hand grenade if you become everything I don't want to be
They'll never understand a witch in saints skin
We've traded places and traded what we've imagined
Lets save the world in riddles the way we used to do
And trade reality for a hit the way we used to
We could invade dreamscape and take each others hand
Lets laugh it up and party with a dead man
Tilly I'm getting tired and I think it's time to go
We could wake up in the white wet sun - wake up in the snow
Tilly I'm getting really tired and I think we should come down
And Tilly wake up...wake up in the Morven's sound
( For Becky)
" SMOKE AND MIRRORS"
By: D.M.
Created 8/24/2000
Say things you don't mean - Ask to be forgiven after the fact
You can't resist the whole of the sum - You know we have this pact
The sky is burning - Heaven might be on fire - We lose our way
The ground is caving in - The walls start to crumble - And still....It's gonna be a lovely day
You liked to hit me where it hurt - You even hit me in the face
You looked just like me - You looked like Hell when you sang amazing grace
Heart bleeding - Mind gone numb - Ran out of words to say
Heart broken - Wrists bleeding - And still I say it's gonna be a lovely day
So for another year and happy alive - The body just becomes older now
I hid when you came home - I prayed you wouldn't see me
And I could have ran further than I had ever imagined - Further than I could see
Once again I'm still stuck in that void - Still slumping in church - No prayer...don't pray
Aching body and inner child screaming - Don't dare break... Just repeat...It's gonna be a lovely day
Say things you don't want to and break bones if it makes you feel better man
Hurt the fragile and dig the hole a little deeper...the ambulance is speeding as fast as it can
Now you know what it's like to be one of the beautiful freaks - Now you know what to say
The sky just opened up, The mind just shut down, The heart stopped beating...and still...It's gonna be a lovely day
Happy alive, I guess happy alive, if I could just be alone
Torn in two - torn in three...I'm a rag doll begging to be thrown
Do things you say you don't want to and say what you dont need to say
The heart starts to ache, The memory wont let go...The saviour turned away and still...I say...It's gonna be a lovely day
" DEFLECTING"
By: D.M.
Created 9/1/2000
Dear God I've said that I wouldn't hurt you and dear God I think I have
Dear Lord still contemplating those terrible thoughts within this minds aftermath
So dear lord please understand you've been nothing but a wounded man bleeding lonesome and naked and skinned
Yes, what is left dear God is an angry, and ticked off, and avenging bitch screaming that she has just sinned!
In your name
In your house
I have turned pagan and have lost my mind
In your name
In your blood
I have drank it and loathed it and spit it out...because I don't drink that brand of wine
Dear God are you hungry and cold? Have you ever felt what you have dealt?
Yes, dear God I am aching, and screaming for I have been whipped with an un-holy belt
And sing sweet Jesus and praise your name - On a cliff somewhere - Throw yourself off it if you're game
Oh dear God, if this is the way to eternal paradise then I guess I'll just renounce your name...
In your home
In your heart
You've made up the rules and made up our minds
In your light
In your name
I've been worn out and hated, and standing between both sides
Dear God are you looking down upon me? Can you see what I see? Do you know who I am?
Yes, I am here dear God and I know where I've been, and I'm trying to pervert the mind your baby lamb
So with all I've said Dear Lord, and all I've done, it's your monsters, and christians who set these examples for me
And this is just a letter dear lord,with no postage, and no return adress and no real place to be delivered
And should you wish to reply to me dear lord, you can't, Because I work in mysterious ways...and I don't feel like being bothered you see...?
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