The Cat's Meow
TCLC's online 'zine
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Page One

December 7th, 1999

Contents

Editors Corner
*Notes from the EiC*
Well- long-time-no-see, eh? Everyone has been pretty busy
with Thanksgiving and Christmas shopping and all. We haven't been doing
too well on getting TCM up and running since the beginning of the school
year. But we are doing better as far as helping hands.
The newest change for TCLC has been the 'zine. As you have learned,
we are now an online 'zine. Members will receive notification when a new
'zine is published. If you are not a member and would also like to receive
notification, click here.
I went on vacation for Thanksgiving, to my hometown of Dallas, Texas. It was
great- I had lots of fun. We went go-carting, shopping, to the movies, and
well you know- the fun stuff. But, oh did I ever miss my kitty babies! I'm
glad to have them back now.
Darra has great story over in Kitty Cat Tales, with a twist. And be sure
to check out my review of Sleepy Hollow!
HUGS,
Natalie
Editor in Cheif

*Notes from the Co-E*
well catlovers...it's been a while hasn't it? I've been busy with school...I
have finals coming up (ewwww)....and I think I'm losing my mind...LOL...
or did I lose that a long time ago? Anyway...my cats are getting excited..
they know the big play-toy is fixing to be put up (my Christmas tree....
lol)...and i know they can't wait to get their dirty little paws caught up
in it....I bet I'll wake up Christmas morning to either the tree on its side
again or three furry faces peeking out at me through it....LOL....that is
if my two fat boys can fit in it...ROFL...anyway...have a happy holiday
(no matter how you celebrate it...or not...)...and watch out for that
tinsel.....my kitties were pooping tinsel for weeks last Christmas....LOL....
Cheri
Coeditor

Seasonal Section
The buzz on Y2K
By Natalie Williams

So, what's all the hype on Y2K? Well, as you probably know, Y2K stands for year
two thousand. Older computers are not programmed to recognize the date 2000. The
older computers will automatically shut down at midnight, December 31st.

But do not fear! Newer computers are set for the year two thousand. Chances are,
If you are able to access the internet your computer is new enough to handle the
millennium.

What's getting everyone panicked, is that out entire society runs on computers. Not
exactly top-notch computers, either. Electricity, water, the bank, and the list goes on
all run n computers. If the computers that run these plants were to fail, there would
be no electricity, no water, and no way to get your money out of the bank.

Many people are preparing for Y2K by buying bottled water, canned foods, storing
lots of blankets and so on. But if you buy canned goods, make sure you have a
hand-held, non-electric can opener! But some forget about the little things.... like toilet
paper! Remember, you won't have any cash (unless you take your money out of the bank
ahead of time) to buy things- if the grocery stores are even operating. What about gasoline?
If you buy gasoline ahead of time, be sure to store your it in metal gas cans-away from
any heat. If you currently buy bottled water, refill them with tap water for washing and
bathing. You can never have enough water! What about your pets? Be sure to stock up
on canned cat or dog food- they've gotta eat too.

But most cities are taking it upon themselves to update they're computers, and are Y2K
ready. Try calling your local electric company, and asking if they are Y2K compliant.
The same goes for your water company and bank- and any other places you wish. The
main thing is not to create a panic. Some are even saying that storing food and blankets
are an over-precaution, because they don't think anything is going to happen. But its
better to be safe than sorry, right?

What do you think? Do you think that the country is ready for Y2K? Do you believe that there is
no need to store food, water and blankets? Or do you think that the country is under-
prepared? Should the country have been stocking up on supplies for months now?
Or do you believe that Y2K signals a religious time? I want your feedback! Please
Chose one of the follow options by choosing either (a), (b), (c) or (d).
(a) The country is ready for Y2K!
(b) There is no need for all these precautions!
(c) We aren't prepared!
(d) Y2K signals a religious time
If you'd like to speak more on this subject, click here. Your thoughts may or may not
be shared in the next issue... please note if you'd like it to appear in the next issue of
The Cat's Meow.

Dear Tiff

Send your kitty questions to Tiff!

Kitty Cat Tales

The Jade Idol
by, Darra Lynn Clark

She grinned a beautifully fake grin, her painted grimace showcasing brilliant
teeth. With a quick gesture, she smoothed her perfect blond coiffure. With a final
quick show of fangs, she sat herself down, taking care of all the imaginary
wrinkles in her skirt.
"Hello, dearest, is this seat taken?" she paused to let her charming smile have its
full effect on the man across from her. This smile took on shades of genuine as
she noticed his watch, suit, briefcase. All, she grinned to herself, indicative of a
man of good breeding. Which, of course, was indicative of...she licked her lips
happily, and collected herself.
"No ma'am, it's not," the man said distractedly, not even bothering to notice her
broad, sky colored eyes, or the flattering skirt which brought out both them and
her shapely hips. Well, she sighed, he's a busy man. Grinning suddenly, she thought,
And busy men are busy doing what? Unconsciously, she rubbed her palms together
delightedly.
"Well, Mr..." she lifted a delicate eyebrow indicatively, waiting for his name with that
ingrating half smile.
"Calico, John Calico," the Man said, still not looking up.
"Calico, eh? Are you a bit of a cat, John?"
"Eh, rather," he answered non-committaly.
Well, eventually The Lady and Mr. Calico found their way together, as is often the
way with such people. As the days passed in nerve-wrecking domesticity, the
Lady-now-Wife now found herself constantly staring and sighing. The delicate brows
and shapely figure had given way to a neat bun and the hassled look of a matron.
Day after day the clock ticked its unending song.
"Well, Mr. Clock, are you quite done telling me that my life is going to end before I've
ever even lived?" the Wife intoned viciously, jabbing her bread a bit more than was
necessary.
Pit pat pat pat. And now, a touch of scrape, scrape, scritch. "Oh, my goodness,"
thought the wife, "it's a robber, and I'll be without anything! I'll have lost all of my
jewels and clothes, everything!!"
Tucking her finest necklace, a jade idol, into her bosom, she turned to face her fate.
Looking about, she saw no one, and realized the thief was behind her, waiting to
kill her. She whirled about, wielding the rolling pin to defend her things. Again, no
one. But still, it was there, the pit pat pit pat scritchedy scratch. A cold chill went
down her spine as a draft hit her, and she noticed the door ajar. Standing there,
her eyes as cold and unfathomable as the Arctic Depths, was a cat. With a fine,
queenly flick her a smooth tale, she strolled in.
"Oh, but what a beautiful creature you are!"
The cat simply stared her down with the jagged bits of ice lightning through
which she saw the world. "Oh, what a pitiful, inane one YOU are," they seemed to laugh.
Almost unconsciously, the Wife heard the challenge in the cat's royal Mew and her
effortless step. The Cat, without question, was to be her master. Fine cuts of meat,
a softly sewn bed of the woman's fine dress. After all, was not a queen to be treated
as a queen. Or, more to the point, didn't beauty deserve beauty? Obviously, thought
the Wife, the cat was hers because she deserved the Cat.

As days passed, the Wife grew wan, thin and sick, and carried the countenance of
an old soldier who still was in the trenches. However, her service to the Cat was
flawless, earning her a contemptuous gaze and an occasional superior Mew. As her
skin came to acquire the golden timbre of her hair---the sick color of fool's gold,
the Wife, like similar creatures, found herself hopeless. Dying. But, the Cat still
came first. For the cat was Beauty, and Beauty is truth.
In her last day, as the Wife came to give the Cat its care for that day, she noticed it.
"Don't look at me like that! You KNOW something, don't you?" she grabbed the
cat furiously. "You made me like this! YOU took my beauty, and my youth, and all
of the lovely things I should have had!"
The Cat continued to gaze at her unfeelingly.
"Don't eye my necklace! You nasty Beast! You can't have that! That's mine!"
Her features sharp and drawn, the Cat glared at the Wife, who shook her with all
the violence of a dying 40 year old who had never truly lived beyond the idol at her
throat.

The Wife was buried in a tiny, tacky ceremony, in a dress that did nothing for either
her figure or her coloring. Grinning contentedly, a glinting bit of green at her throat,
was the Cat.
*note* opinions expressed here are not that of TCLC, but of the author

Crafts

Gingerbread house
You will need:


a pattern
one batch of gingerbread dough
four to five batches icing glue
cookie sheets
aluminum foil
room temperature butter
flour
rolling pin
knives
spatula
cooling racks
a plywood base on which to put the house
six unopened pop cans (to hold up the roof while icing dries)
pastry bags and tips (if you don't have them, use a knife and spread the icing)
lots of candies (lifesavers make good stained glass windows; ginger snaps make great shingles)
The Pattern
Cut from paper the following:

Roof: 2 rectangles, 7 inches by 11 inches
Side walls: 2 rectangles, 5"x8"
Front and Back: base 5", total height 9". Cut door from front.

/\ /\ -
/ \ / \ 4 inches
/ \ / \ _
| | | | |
| _ | | | 5 inches
| | | | | | |
|_|_|__| |______| _

|--5"--| |--5"--|

Chimney: (optional) 1" wide.
_ _ _ _
| | | | | | | |
| | |_| | | | |
| | | / \ |
|_| |/ \|
Front Back Side1 Side2
2.5" tall 1.5" tall

Dough
Day 1

1 cup butter at room temperature
1 3/4 cups brown sugar
1 1/4 cups white sugar
2 tablespoons molasses
6 eggs
6 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 tablespoon ground ginger
1 tablespoon ground cinnamon
1 tablespoon allspice

Line Several cookie sheets with aluminum foil. Butter and flour the foil.
In a large bowl, cream the butter and sugars. Beat in the molasses and eggs.

In another large bowl, sift dry ingredients. Combine mixtures and knead into a
smooth ball. Cover and refrigerate at least 30 minutes.

On a well-floured surface, roll out a small amount of the dough until it's 1/4 inch thick.
Place one of the paper pattern pieces on the dough and cut around the edges. Gently,
using the spatula, lift the dough and place it on the prepared cookie sheet.

Put all scraps into a bowl and cover. Save these for the kids to play with, or to make
gingerbread men.

To make windows and the door: Cut out a rectangle from the appropriate side. Cut the
window in half to make shutters. Fill empty window holes with crushed life-savers to
form stained glass windows.

To make the chimney: Cut out a rectangle big enough to hold all pieces of the chimney.
When the baked dough is still warm and soft, lay the pattern on top and cut out the pieces.

Preheat the oven to 325oF. Bake 15-20 minutes or until slightly firm. Let cool on racks
until firm enough to handle. Peel the foil off the sections and set the pieces aside to dry
thoroughly overnight.


Icing Glue
Day 2
This recipe is for a single batch. You will probably need several, but if you make
them all at once, keep them in separate bowls: it dries very quickly and is like
cement. Keep it well covered: one piece of saran wrap touching the icing itself
and another on the bowl.


3 egg whites
1 1/2 teaspoons cream of tartar
3 - 3 1/2 cups icing sugar

In a large bowl, beat the egg whites until they begin to foam. Add the cream of
tartar and beat until the whites are stiff but not dry. Gradually beat in the icing
sugar, beating for about 5 minutes until it reaches spreading consistency. Keep
it covered and refrigerated until needed.
To Assemble
Day 2
Cover the plywood base with aluminum foil. Pipe (or spread with a knife) two
straight lines of glue at a 90o angle from each other: one for a side wall and another
for an end wall. Pipe glue on the side wall where it will meet the end wall. Place
walls on base, touching each other. Hold them in place until they are dry enough
to stand on their own (about 15 minutes, and you can use those pop cans as support).

Repeat with the remaining two walls, running a line of icing glue along the corners
so that all the walls are glued together. Again hold walls in place until the glue is dry.

Let the roof-less house dry at least 30 minutes until the icing is firmly set.

Banish small children from kitchen; find an extra pair of hands. Pipe a lot of icing
along the tops of all the walls. Run a thick line along one long side of a roof.
Stick the two roof sections together at an angle and sit the two pieces on top
of the house. Make sure that the roof overhang is the same at both ends of the
house.

Hold the roof gently in place until it dries (the pop cans should be the right
height to support them). Let dry half an hour.

While the roof is drying, attach the door to the doorway by running a line of icing
glue down one side and along the base. Make sure the door is open wide enough
to slide a small flashlight inside later (so you can appreciate the stained glass
windows). To attach the chimney: on one side of the roof near the peak, glue
one angled piece to the roof. Glue the largest rectangle to the angled piece, then
glue the second angled piece in place. Lastly, if there's room, glue the smallest
rectangle to the other sections. Hide any mistakes under a "snow" of icing.

Let the house dry until completely solid, preferably overnight.


To Decorate
Day 3
Remove the soda cans. Attach shutters to windows. Decorate by gluing candy to house.

Movie Review
Hi everyone! This is Natalie and my first movie review..... so bear with me!
Sleepy Hollow
Staring-
Christina Ricci as Katrina &
Johnny Depp as Ikabod Krane.
Directed by Tim Burton
Rated R
It all began when constable Ikabod Krane (Depp) tried to change the New York so called
'justice system'. Prisoners were being brutally beaten and sentenced to death without
trial. So, the judge gave Krane a chance to prove himself; by solving the murder case
of Sleepy Hollow. Three patrons had been mysteriously beheaded, for no clear reason.
Upon arriving in Sleepy Hollow, Ikabod was informed that it had been the headless
horseman’s doings. Of course, Ikabod did not believe they're ghost tales until he was
face to face with the headless rider himself.
Through investigating and introducing a new method of solving such cases: through
search and reason, using the facts to form a hypothesis. At this time, his method was
new and unheard of. People thought he was crazy.
Through investigations he met a girl named Katrina (Ricci). Katrina found Ikabod's
investigations interesting and helped him solve this mystery.
This is a great movie, and I recommend it to everyone who loves a good ghost story
or scary movie. And in the end, the villain got what she deserved. >:-)

Click here for the second half of TCM

Thank you for reading The Cat Lovers Club online 'zine.
Send all questions and comments to Natalie or Cheri.

(By the Way.......
EiC = Editor in Chief)

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