Chapter 28 : The trouble with boys

     Meanwhile that day, Kathy had arrived at the G-spot.  She had spent the entire morning with Lance before greeting the other girls and taking up residence.  It took the rest of Girl Thang a moment or two to get used to the idea of living with a total stranger.  Especially when Val had told them about Kathy just as she was running out the door to meet Chris.  Happily, before long they were all telling Kathy about the impossible circumstances that had brought them to where they were now.
     “So now all of us are happy, except Val of course.  We didn’t have the time to talk to her before she left.  Boy, is she going to be pissed to find out that the rest of us are on our way to getting our hooks into the boys!” laughed Kelly as she proceeded to serve tea in the girls’ living room.
     “I wouldn’t be too sure of that,” Kathy spoke up.  “From what you have told me about those two, I think that they are going to be getting real close real soon.  I’ve known Chris for awhile now and he is like a five-year-old.  When he got that crush on Eva, he spent an entire week tormenting her before he asked her out.  She still hasn’t been able to find her steering wheel yet.  Chris thought it would be funny for her to go out into the parking lot and then realize it was gone.  We all had a good laugh, but then Chris couldn’t find the damn thing to give it back.  Now, a few months later . . .the car is still stranded on the O-Town lot, and Chris is looking into buying her an Audi. The idiot should just give her a new steering wheel, not a freaking new car!”
     “So Kathy, you know Eva?  Tell us a little bit about her, I think there’s something wrong with her.  She does work directly for Lou…” Carlee prodded Kathy for any information she could get.
     “Well, she was never really popular with any of the girlfriends or friends who are girls… Chris didn’t realize it, but we all saw that she went for him.  He thought that he had done it all… typical male.”  Kathy obviously didn’t think much more of Eva than Girl Thang. “After I went back up north I lost track of the whole thing.  I didn’t think much about anything Lance didn’t keep me posted on.”
     “So, what’s with you two?  Are you just friends, or is there something more there?  He did call you as soon as he could after the break-up…” Terry got right to the point and asked the question that everyone else was dying to bring up.
     “I’m not sure anymore.  If you’d asked me this afternoon, I would have said that I was just the supportive female best friend like he’s always wanted me to be.  After our talk I don’t know anymore…” Kathy couldn’t answer the question any better for the girls than she’d been able to answer it for herself. “I’ll fill you in later on.  Lance is picking me up and we’re going out for dinner and to talk some more tonight.  I’d like to say that there is substance to vibes I’ve been getting from that boy.  I thought that he would get the point when I dropped everything back home just for him.”
     “Boys are stupid like that,” Kelly shared her words of wisdom.
 Just as all the girls began to giggle collectively over the stupidity of the male populace, Val burst in trough the front door.
     “I love my life!!!!  I love Florida.  I love roller coasters.  And most of all, I love blue slurpees,” Val sang/yelled as she spun around luxuriously before flopping down on one of over stuffed chairs in the corner of the room.
     “I think Val had a good time today,” commented Terri as she ignored Val’s dramatics.
     “You wouldn’t be talking about your day with Chris now would you?  And where do blue slurpees come into all this?” asked Kelly who was more scared and confused by the way that Val was acting.
     “On the way home, Chris and I ganged up on Lennie and made him stop for slurpees.  That Chris is such a baby though.  He got overcharged for his slurpee and he actually asked me to go and get his change back.  I got the money back, but it was only like, 30 cents or something,” Val said smiling the entire time.
     “See?  Real close,” laughed Kathy.
     “Excuse me strange lady whom I do not know, what exactly are you insinuating between Chris and I?  We have only decided to be friends,” Val turned to Kathy.
     “Oh, I’m Kathy.  And I was just teasing.  It’s really nice to meet you,” Kathy said as she shook Val’s hand.
     And so after 28 chapters, the writers of O-Town have finally followed basic cheesy fan fic structure: 5 guys, 5 girls.  What do you say we move on to how in the world all this mess is going to come together?

Chapter 29: Fast-forward to the Good Parts

     **Remember Jacee and that whole bet thing? It seems rather distant know, but we (the writers) suspect that distant story line might be the plot that we are looking for. For the sake of clarity and direction in our writing, we are going to jump a little forward in time.**

     It’s about 2 months later.  The girls are well into their training and are getting along great with the guys.  Terri, Kelly, and Carlee have all hooked up with their men.  Kathy and Lance are inseparable, and Val and Chris have long since learned to appreciate each other’s wits.  Chris is still with Eva, but it is quite clear to everyone that things are just not right between the two of them.  Our story picks up during the sound check of the girl’s first big show.  Lou had scored them a small venue in order to present the girls to BMG and to help them build a fan base.  The girls were practicing their first single “Nick the Crack whore,” as Kathy sat patiently on the side of the stage.  She was there to support her roomies and make sure that no one tried to get a sneak peak.  Sad thing is that she wasn’t doing that well a job.  If she had been paying more attention, she would have noticed a certain uninvited party.
     Chris, who was there to spy on Val from back stage, laughed to himself.  That girl was something else.  He was amazed by her progress since she came to O-Town.  The truth was that all the girls were a lot more talented than they had let on.  Lou must have known what he was doing when he picked these girls because they all had natural rhythm and an ear for music.  It turns out that they just needed some “tuning”. . .well, two months of hard core tuning to be exact.  Chris was about to go put one of his odd little plans into action, when he suddenly felt someone tap him on the shoulder.  He turned around quickly to find Lance holding a rose.
     “Lance, I don’t think I’m ready to move our relationship to this level,” Chris laughed.
     “Humph, it’s not for you.  Besides, what are you doing here?  We aren’t supposed to show up until later. Lou said that showing up early would add to the rumors about the girls dating members of *NSYNC.”
     “Yeah, well I’m not actually dating any of them, unlike the other guys.  And neither are you . . .”
     “YET!” Lance smiled slyly.
     “What?!  You’re here to ask Val out before the show?!” Chris panicked and couldn’t help but feel angry at Lance.
     “Val?  No Chris, I wouldn’t steal her from you.  We all know that you have a little crush on her.”
     “No I don’t . . .”
     “I see, so then you always carry a hot glue gun with you.  What were you going to do . . .glue all the furniture in her dressing room to the ceiling as a declaration of your love?  Eva is going to love that,” Lance was feeling pretty brave and decided not to hold anything back.
     “I have no idea what you mean,” said Chris as he tried to cover his custom made glue gun holster.
     “Chris, as much as I would love to stand here and point out all your insecurities, I simply do not have the time right now.  The girls have helped me to plan something for Kathy.  Unlike some people, when I realize that I am in love, I do something about it.  In fact, I’m surprised that I waited this long in the first place . . . ”
 Before Lance could finish his sentence, Girl Thang began to sing the first lines of the song that he had chosen for Kathy-
     “Here and now, is the way I live . . .”
     “Now if you’ll excuse me.  I believe that is my cue,” Lance said as he walked onto the stage.
 Kathy stood up in shock when she saw Lance.  Her heart began to pound furiously against her chest as she prayed silently to herself – “Please God, let that rose be for me.  I’ve waited for him for so long.”
     It seems that Kathy’s PUSH (pray until something happens) bracelet finally paid off because before she knew it, Lance was standing right in front of her.
     “Kathy, ever since you came down here, I finally feel complete.  I realize that this sounds pretty corny (Oh Lancie-boy, corny is not the word for this drivel), but the truth is that I have had feelings for you for years.  It just seems that we couldn’t ever catch each other at the right time.  Finally, neither of us is dating anyone.  Here and now it is just the two of us . . .Here and now I am going to be brave and let you know how I feel.  Kathy, I’m in love with you.”
     With those words, Kathy threw her arms around Lance’s neck.  They embraced for a moment before Kathy put her lips to his ear –
     “Well it sure as hell took you long enough”
     Lance laughed gently as he turned her face towards him.  Cupping her chin delicately in his hand, the two closed their eyes and . . .
     “COUGH COUGH!!” Carlee spattered.
     Pulled cruelly from their beautiful moment, Kathy and Lance turned around to see that Girl Thang was looking a bit uncomfortable.
     “Sorry to ruin your moment guys,” Carlee said.  “But Lou could be here any moment and if he finds us just standing her and watching you make out . . .”
     “In other words,” interjected Terri.  “Get a room!”
     So, our two new lovers ran off together for the rest of the evening.  As for Girl Thang, their show was a hit.  Offers came pouring in from the people in the “biz” and all Lou could see were “$$.”  He couldn’t wait to show Jacee exactly who was in control of the new wave of teen pop.  More importantly, Lou was now in a position to market his girls in any way he felt like.
 
Chapter 30: Love on the line?

 A few days after their concert, Lou’s salesmanship came through:

Chris and Val were joking around on the couch in the studio where Girl Thang was taking a break from rehearsing for their album and their Disney Concert. Somehow, Chris had managed to pin Val to the couch and in the process had fallen forward resulting in his face being far too close to Val’s for comfort. The two had been forced into much closer contact seeing as how each one’s fellow bandmates were securely paired off with one another and Lance and Kathy were walking on clouds following the realization that they were meant for each other. That left Chris and Val together a lot.  They began to trust each other more and more. To make things even more complicated for them, the secret that they were both researching about Lou, just helped to sure their new bond even more. Both the remaining members of Girl Thang plus Kathy and the rest of *N Sync could see that there was something brewing between the two, but until Eva was out of the way, everybody knew that Val wouldn’t let anything start. Just as Chris was leaning in to close the space between his mouth and Val’s, the rest of the gang came bounding back into the room. Luckily, the others were too absorbed in the news they were bringing to notice what they had interrupted.
 "Oh my god Val, you’ll never guess what we’re doing tomorrow night!" Kelly was bouncing up and down at Justin’s side.
"Justin, stop her before she kills herself." Terri was, as usual, her collected self. "I think what she’s trying to tell you is that we just talked with Sumi, and she got us a spot on Loveline for tomorrow night!"
 "Hey, do you think you could score me some of those Dr. Drew condoms? Ow! What? I was just asking." Joey winced as Carlee retracted her well-aimed elbow from his ribs.
"You know what that was for you big pig." Carlee laughed and appeased the frowning Italian with a kiss.
"So, if that’s what the girls are doing, what are we doing? Do we get to be the surprise guests to the guests?" Chris had a plan formulating. Two months of thought were quickly coming into sharp focus.
 "Um, Kathy and I are going out. Y’all can do what you like." Lance killed the idea for a night with the five guys, just as Chris had hoped.
The next night, the girls were all a little nervous as they waited in the green room while Adam and Dr. Drew went about their dispensing of advice to the poor sexually misdirected youth of this country. Val was busy worrying that someone would call in about something a little too graphic for her to handle when they were called on to the set.
To Val’s horror, for the next 15 mins the girls were hit with what seemed like a thousand out of control questions about things from swollen [unchristian word] to sex with goats.  The other girls found the whole thing to be very funny and did their best to answer in the most honest way that they could –
“Perhaps if you found a girl that looked like your goat, you could learn to love her instead,” Kelly tried, holding back her laugher as best she could.
Using her usual defense mechanism, Val began to tune the whole thing out.  She was about to celebrate her ability to make it off the show without becoming permanently scarred when Adam decided to take one last question.
 "Our last question is from a member of our audience. He has chosen to remain anonymous, so please let’s listen." Adam introduced the next victim. As the privacy screen was backlit, the four girls exchanged glances, finally resting on Val. The guy had Chris’s telltale braided locks, and as they listened more carefully, it wasn’t hard to tell that someone was trying to disguise his voice. As the man everyone took to be Chris continued on with his problem Val went into a deep blush.
"Hi, I’ve been dating this girl for a while now, and things were going great up until about two and a half months ago. I met this other girl who I can’t stop thinking about.  She’s sweet, funny, and I really care about her. How do I tell my girlfriend that its over without bringing her wrath down upon my would be lady love?"
"Have you done anything about this other girl yet?" Adam asked the mystery man.
"No, there have been some close encounters cause we’ve had to spend a lot of time together recently, kind of because of work, but not really… I can’t explain.  We tell each other things that we don’t tell anyone else . . ."  The mystery man behind the screen became frustrated.
"Does your current girlfriend know about this ‘would be lady love’?" Terri jumped in, to Val’s utter horror.
"Not that it matters, but yeah, they’ve met. It wouldn’t surprise me if she had some clue that the other chick and I get along better than she and I do. I just don’t want hurt her. I already owe her a car, but believe me that’s another story." The man was forgetting to disguise his voice and it had become blatantly obvious to all four members of Girl Thang that it was indeed Chris talking about Eva and, apparently Val.
"Then I’d say just tell your girl that it’s over, and do something drastic to get the attention of this other girl. Do something that will shock her into noticing you but also something that you’ll both feel good about. Don’t go doing something stupid." Carlee offered her advice and gave Val a wink while doing so.
Val turned even redder and sank deeper into her seat. She stayed that way until Adam and Dr. Drew finally announced that they were out of time and thanked Val, Carlee, Terri, and Kelly for joining them. As soon as she could get there, Val was in the car. When the girls joined her, they all stared at her, silently demanding an explanation as to why Chris had been there.  Val was too confused to deal with her friends right away after just be confronted with the possibility that Chris might have feelings for her. She barely noticed the looks she was getting, replying only with a shrug and a non-committal "What?" The remainder of Girl Thang realized that Val was as unknowing as the rest, and definitely not up to talking right now. It could wait until Val was verbal once more.
 

Chapter 31: Hair today. Love tomorrow

     Kathy woke up early only to find Val already half way through her chores for the day.
     “Hey girl, how did the show go last night?” Kathy asked her as she poured the two of them some coffee.  “Why don’t you stop alphabetizing the breakfast cereal and tell me what is wrong?  Something must be up for you to be up and about this early.”
 Val was just about to give in and talk when a thunderous roaring sound came from the upstairs.  Next thing she knew, Terri, Kelly, and Carlee were shoving each other in attempt to get down to Val first.  Each took a seat at the counter and stared at Val in anticipation.
     “I guess you all want to know what is up between Chris and I.  Well, I hate to disappoint you, but NOTHING has happened between the two of us.  He is with Eva.  Besides, you can’t even be sure if that was him last night.”
     “Oh come on Val,” Carlee argued.  “Who are you trying to fool?  Who else has hair like that?  Not to mention that chipmunk voice . . .”
     “He does not talk like a chipmunk,” yelled Val defensively.  She had just gone for Carlee’s jugular . . . when the doorbell rang.  The girls all froze, except Val who was caught in midair.  She ended up sliding across the kitchen floor and landing somewhere by the breakfast nook.  She grabbed her knee in pain and wailed like a small child.
     Hearing the commotion in the house, the girl’s visitor opened the door.
     “Is everything alright in here?” Chris asked as he tried to take in the scene around him.  Terri, Kelly, and Carlee were sitting on tall stools by the counter, their eyes fixated on Chris as they absent mindedly tried to put sugar in their coffee without missing a second of the drama that they were waiting to unfold.  Kathy was over by the cabinets pretending to look for something that Chris could only assume was a bandage for the bleeding Val who was still tangled in the chairs of the offending nook. She too was silent and stared at Chris.
     “Val, are you okay?” Chris hurried over to Val.  “You look exhausted.  Have you slept at all?  Let me clean your knee.”
     “Don’t touch me!” screamed Val.  “Mister, I don’t know who you are coming in here unannounced . . .  Who sent you and why are you here?”
     “The guys said that I should check on you because you looked a little uncomfortable on Lovelive last night.”
     “Why should you care?  I don’t even know you.  You must be one of those spies that B*Wtiched hired to scope out the competing girl groups.  Well, if you must know . . .they were not the first to think of denim g-strings. . .”
     “Val, I thought that we were friends . . .” Chris tried one last time.
     “I have no bizarre spiky-haired friends.  Braids maybe . . . What does it matter anyway?  I’ve never met you before in my life.  Now get out of here before I wrap one of those jean panty numbers around your neck.”
     “Wait, so you won’t be friends with me because I cut my hair?”
     “Huh?” all five girls said in unison.
     “Chris?” Val asked cautiously.
     Chris nodded as he ran his hands through his newly coifed locks.
     “Well, when did you do that?” Kelly blurted out from across the room.
     “Yesterday . . .”
     “What time?!” Terri began to panic.
     “Late afternoon, why?”
     “Dammit!  That means that it wasn’t him on the show last night!” exclaimed Kathy.  “I thought I had them right where I wanted them!  Back to the drawing room.”  And with that Kathy made her way back upstairs, followed by the rest of the disappointed girls.
     Val of course stayed behind to talk to Chris.
     “Those nuts thought that you were that guy from the studio audience.  But he had braids so I guess that it couldn’t have been you, huh?” Chris was positive that he could hear disappointment in her voice. This was just the sign that he was looking for.  Now all he had to do was find some way to get Eva out of the picture . . .that is AFTER he made sure that Val would never find out what time he really cut his hair.