Chapter 15: Who says revenge is best served cold?

     Just as the girls were putting their final touches on everything, Lance walked into the kitchen.
     “Morn’in Lance,” said Kelly brightly.
     “Hey, girls,” Lance said as he yawned and scratched the back of his head.  “You look well rested this morning.  Did you finish up getting back at the guys?”
     “You could say that,” Val giggled.  “These are for you by the way.”
     Val handed Lance a large basket filled with star-shaped sugar cookies.  Each cookie was decorated with frosting and trivia about Mississippi.
     “It was so nice if you to give us the key.  These are all for you, except for the one’s with the other boys’ names on them.  We thought it might take the sting off our ingenious revenge.”
     “Wow, this is really sweet of you girls.  You must have gotten up really early to make these.”
     “Not really Lance.  It’s um, 4 o’clock.” Val said as politely as she could without laughing.  “Now, if you don’t mind. . . .It’s our turn to watch the spectacle from the bushes.”
     “Have fun girls.  They should be up any minute now,” said Lance as he stuffed one of the cookies in his mouth.
     Just as the girls ran out the door, Lance heard footsteps coming down the stairs.
     “Whoa, where did you get the cookies?” asked Joey as he came into the kitchen.
     “The girls made them for us because they had such a good time last night.”
     “You mean that they’re not mad after we turned their skin and hair blue with that powder we put in their shower heads?”

***T’s Talks***  I know that sentence is a little long, and seems rather… well, its not congruent with the rest of the story, but its there to clear up some questions we’ve gotten as to how the girls got blue… look, we saw it in a movie once and thought it was funny.  Give us a break, we wanted to play with the Eiffel 65 song.  If you haven’t heard it, you don’t know what you’re missing and I suggest that you get a copy!  I’ve missed our little chats, but let’s get back to the story kiddies***

     “I guess not.”  Lance popped another cookie into his mouth.  “So, what are you up to for the rest of the weekend?  The girls don’t have lessons till Monday.”
     “I was thinking of starting with a relaxing swim in the pool.  Why don’t you join me?  At least keep me company.”  Joey started out to the pool with Lance following behind carrying the basket of cookies.
     Joey ran and without looking went to jump into the pool.  He hit the surface of the water and bounced back up.  He couldn’t figure out what was going on and all he could hear was Lance laughing at him bouncing above the pool.  Ten minutes later, Joey came to a stop, resting on the shiny smooth surface of the ‘water’.  What was going on?
     “Am I lying on a huge block of raspberry Jell-O?” he asked.
     “Hey Joey…there’s a note here with your name on it…should I read it for you?” Lance started laughing again as he opened the note.
         Dear Joey,
                We had so much fun being blue last night that we thought we’d thank you
           by making one of your fantasies come true.  So, how do you say Jell-O in Spanish
          hon?  Hope you enjoy the pool.

    Meanwhile, upstairs, Chris had just woken up and was getting ready for the day.  He went into the bathroom, still half-asleep to brush his teeth and admire his hair.  As he looked at himself in the mirror, he absentmindedly grabbed the toothbrush sitting on the counter.  He started brushing and was about to finish when he realized that his toothbrush wasn’t normally pink, but that this one wasn’t purple and silver like the one he’d used yesterday.  No big deal, Lance’s mom had probably sent another care package with shampoo and replaced everyone’s toothbrush.  She was nice like that, always taking care of her little boy and the rest of them.  Chris put his worries aside and finished brushing his teeth.  He went downstairs to see if anyone else was awake.
    Lance was waiting in the kitchen, sure that there would be more fun like what he’d seen with Joey.  He couldn’t wait to see what the girls had in store for the others.  When Chris came down, he went directly for the cookie crisp (they phased out the cop…can you believe that?) just as Val had predicted.  Inside the box was a small note with his name on it.
    “Lance, will you thank your mom for that toothbrush for me.  Hey…do you have any idea who’d have put a note in my cereal?”
    Lance caught on to the idea that the toothbrush would have something to do with the girls’ revenge.  “I’ll be sure to let her know.  She loves taking care of you guys as much as me… when did she send it to you?”
    “You mean you didn’t put it there…what did I do with that note?”  Chris found the note and opened it, a sick feeling spreading in the pit of his stomach.
        Dear Chris,
                    I found you a gift for your help making sure the girls and I got settled in without any problems.  I left a pink toothbrush in your bathroom.  It’s almost new…I found it as a leftover from Nick’s room.  Maybe you could use it to clean a toilet or soap scum, anything but to brush your teeth.  Heaven forbid that you brush those pearly whites with anything that dirty ape-boy used.  Hope you get this note on time.

    Chris let out a blood-curdling scream, loud enough to wake Justin and bring him running down the stairs and outside to make sure the Benz was still in the garage.  He couldn’t think of anything worth screaming like that over if it didn’t involve something like his car being gone.
    Lance tossed Chris a cookie.  “You should go talk with Joey…see if he’s out of the pool yet.  I’m going to wake up JC.  Meet me up there I’ll need some help getting him out of bed.”  Before the two had a chance to part, the sticky Joey finally made it inside to see what had caused Chris’s scream.
    “So they got to you too… I’m gonna…” Joey went to commiserate with Chris when he was interrupted by the most tortured scream any one of them had ever heard.
    “MY BENZ!?!?  THEY RAPED MY BABY!  Why, who could be this heartless?”
    “Oh my god…that was Justin!  They didn’t…when they said it was war, they must have really meant it.  I wonder what they did…” Joey was finally eating his cookie, now that he knew that his was an easy punishment.
 
Chapter 16: Ain’t No Stopping Them Now

     Justin was busy banging his head against the cement wall of the garage while the rest of the guys stared at the remains of Justin’s Benz in horror.
    “They moved his seat forward, its gotta be at least three inches closer to the wheel than it was when he did the nightly check when we got home.” Chris was still reeling from the tooth brush thing.
    “Yeah, and check out the mirrors.  The left side mirror is tilted at least 24degrees in from its normal position, and the rearview is facing the Driver, not the back of the car.”  Even Lance knew that this might be going a little farther than was prudent.
    “It’ll take him months to re-calibrate and balance.  Girls just don’t understand.
    “Hey Justin, I don’t really want to be the one to bring this up, but have you found your, umm, note yet?”  Joey was shocked at the alterations, but couldn’t quite believe that this was the end of Justin’s hell and torment.
Justin, hearing Joey’s query moved closer to his now tarnished gem. “ I don’t know where they would have put it.”
    “Check the only thing you always adjust when you get in.  It’s got to be on the visor.”  Chris knew from his cereal incident that they somehow knew just where to catch you off guard.

        Dear Justin,
                   I hope you don’t mind, I decided to see what it would be like to sit behind the wheel of a benz, I had to move some stuff to make it fit for me.  Oh, I got you a little present too.  Here’s a hint as to what you’re surprise is. Beep! Beep!
    Enjoy!
                  Lots of Love
                                      Kelly and the girls
                                                                                PS.  Make sure Joey doesn’t eat your cookie!

    Justin’s head slumped firmly against the steering wheel, releasing the melodic sounds of Rod Stewart’s voice singing ‘If you want my body, and you think I’m sexy come on baby let me know.  If you really want me, just reach out and touch me…’
    The quiet sound of Justin’s heart breaking was just audible over his silent weeping at his loss.
Lance approached Justin, placed a comforting hand on one shoulder and a cookie in his outstretched hand.  He then went inside, followed by Chris and Joey.  They all knew the Justin needed to be alone in his time of mourning.
    “Hey Lance, you got anymore of those cookies?” Joey had already moved on from the scene in the garage and was, to him, concentrating on more pressing matters.
    Lance looked into his basket and saw the one cookie left within, a star, bearing the letters JC.  In all the commotion of the last hour, they had forgotten the one who could sleep through it all.  “I’ve got one, but you’ll have to ask JC if you can have it ‘cause it’s his… I wonder what they’ve got in store for him?”

    Lance was soon to get his answer, for as he spoke with Joey and Chris, JC was finally stirring from his deep slumber.  He stretched, feeling oddly constrained and less comfortable than was normal.  He accounted it to the night of dancing and mental battle unlike he had seen in some time.  That Terri sure was a feisty one.  JC went to roll over in is bed and found himself, instead falling onto the floor of a room not the same as that which he had fallen asleep in.  This was not at all where he had been earlier in the night.  He was distinctly aware of leopard print curtains and bright pink couches, and the turquoise shag carpet upon which he had landed.  Who would do something so hideous as this to any space where living was meant to occur?  JC saw the telephone matching the carpet on an end table just above his head.  He reached up and subconsciously dialed the number to the house.
    “Lance?  Lance, where am I?  I just fell off the most hideous couch anyone could ever conceive of purchasing… how?…why?  Please help me, please.”  JC was near a panicked state.  (Who wouldn’t be after waking up in the BSB luv shack when expecting their own bed and pillow?)
    “JC, Listen carefully, you need to stand up and look around for a note with your name on it.  Chances are it’s written in purple ink.  Can you do that for me?”  Lance had quickly come to the conclusion that there must be instructions for JC on where he was and how to get home in the note he somehow knew would be signed with Terri’s scrawling signature.
    “I see it Lance, now what?”
    “READ IT YOU CRACK-WHORE!!”  Lance was becoming less and less patient with the extensive explanations need, why did none of the rest of the guys expect the revenge the girls had promised?  Dumb jocks, just shows what enjoying basketball will do for you.  “I’m sorry JC, I know you’ve kicked that nasty habit, although you might need a fix before we get you out of there.”
    “Okay…here’s what it says…

         Dear JC,
                    Hope you didn’t find your sleep too disturbed.  You’ll get the remaining terms of your return to the rest of the guys when you send one of them to your bedroom to read the note that corresponds to our demands.  Press the intercom button on the phone when you’ve finished your conversation with them.  We’ll take care of the rest.  And may I say the best team won!
                             Hope this isn’t a problem for ya!
                                 Love and Stuff
                                    Terri and the rest of the Thang

        That’s it.  There wasn’t anymore.  I guess you should go read that note so I can get home.  I hope it isn’t too bad…”

 Chapter 17:  A Puzzling Problem (or Escape from Girl Mountain)
 
     Lance couldn’t figure out what the girls had in store for them, everyone had been paid back, and all this was doing was putting strain on him.  He went out to give the others the bad news.  They all went to JC’s room together.  On the way the phone rang,  none of the guys took the time to stop and pick it up, instead letting the voice mail take care of it.  When they got to JC’s room, where he should have been sleeping, there was the bed neatly made, JC’s precious pillow and stuffed animals which had been arranged in a fashion that screamed ‘a girl did this.’  Where the promised note should have been instead lay a box.  Inside along with about a thousand pieces was a note that simply said “ha ha ha.”
     “GOD DAMN!! You mean we have to do a puzzle to find sleeping beauty?  Hey Joey, how well can you sing JC’s parts?  I’m not sure he’s worth it.  No, wait, I forgot Justin has it all covered.”  Chris was trying to make light of the fact that he wasn’t the best at puzzles.
     “Well, lets get started.” Lance wasn’t thrilled with the idea of a puzzle anymore than Chris was.
 *********************
    Back at the girls’ house, the confused and captured JC had decided to skip the intercom and just see if he couldn’t find his own way around the interior of anyone’s worst nightmare.  Luckily when he made his way out of the room, the furnishings and décor of the house changed to fashionably modern architecture focusing on large windows and open rooms.  JC took a left out of the pink room and found himself in a hallway that lead to what looked to possibly be a bathroom.  He went in to rinse his mouth out and got his first clue as to where he might be.  There in the trash was a pile of rags stained with blue dye and reeking of turpentine.  All of a sudden, things fell into place for him.  He was in the girls’ house, which meant that he was all of a thousand feet from his own pillow.  Without making much noise, he found his way to the door and soon was in his own garage where Justin was still lamenting the ruin of his benz.  Not paying attention to the mourning pop-prince, JC went inside determined to take the whole problem to Lou before Girl Thang’ had a chance to appeal to Lou about the die incident.
     “Hey, Lance.  Can I help with the puzzle?” JC walked into the living room to find Lance diligently working on the puzzle while Joey was busy turning pieces over and Chris worked on trying to fit two, just two pieces together.
     “Sure JC.  Wait, how did you get here.”  Lance realized that once JC had rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, he must have figured out where he was and just come home (just like a good puppy…).
     “You’ll never believe where I was.  They put me in a pink and turquoise hell.  If you don’t mind, I’m going to go burn these pajamas.  Who knows if they ever finished disinfecting that house. By the looks of that room they haven’t gotten to it yet.”  JC went to leave just as Chris and Joey reached out to grab his arms.
     “You mean you slept behind enemy lines.  I knew I never trusted you.  Terri got to you hard-core last night didn’t she man?  You just couldn’t stay away.”  Chris accused JC of enjoying the experience.
     “Lets not fight with each other.  That’s what they want.  I’m calling Lou for an emergency meeting.  I’ll make sure he calls the girls in too.  This has got to stop somewhere.  I’m right aren’t I?”  JC responded to Chris’ hostility.
     “JC, you go change.  I’ll call Lou.  We’ll meet in one hour.”  Lance took control of the situation again, tossing JC his cookie on the way out.

Chapter 18: Lou, Lou skip to my Lou…

     Back in Lou’s office at the TransCon compound, the guys stood angrily eyeing the girls who had just entered the room.
     “Late as usual I see.  When are you ladies going to learn that its essential to be here when I want you here.  Terri, who gave you permission to change your hairstyle?” Lou had heard only the tales of the torture faced by the males in the room, although unknown to all, both groups had made the  daily papers for their antics in the club the night before.
     “Well, Mister Pearlman your greasiness, if you’d just listen to our side, you’d understand that there was no option for me but to have my hair fixed…”
    Because he has no tact and can’t seem to keep useful information to himself, he decided to drop the bomb then and there.  “I don’t need to hear your stories.  There are color pictures of your antics with the boys in every paper from here to CHINA.  I couldn’t have planned it better myself, its great publicity for you and the girls, but after the stories I’ve heard here today of the stunts you girls have pulled in the last twenty four hours, I’d say we’ve got a situation on our hands.  I understand there are some personality clashes between the two groups, and since you’ll be spending a lot of time in each other’s company, we need to take care of those differences before they become major problems.”
    “Wait, Lou…”
    “Mister Pearlman…”
    “…how do you propose to solve…”
    General mayhem ensued at the mention of intervention problem solving possibilities.
     “QUIET!  You, Kelly I want the whole story.  Now.”  Lou singled out, possibly the worst woman for the job of calmly explaining the situation, only for the reason that he remembered her name.
     “Well sir, it’s like this.  We went to our lesson for etiquette with Lance, that was good ‘cause he’s such a gentleman, not like Justin (sticks out her tongue at offending aforementioned *N Syncer), then we went home and saw our house after we met Sumi, and she told us that it was the backstreet boys’, yuck, and there was pink furniture and leopard print and turquoise shag carpet, showers, blue, club, limo, kinky JC, war, cage sexy Joey, dance floor groping, ride home, jello…I’m sorry.”  This sentence was spoken at a rapid pace, while Kelly kind of did whole body gestures and grabbed her hair.  By the end she had confused Lou so much that even the boys, who had been there for the whole thing, were looking as thought they didn’t know what had happened.
     “It's fine Kelly, thank you for your errr…thorough explanation.  From what you say, my idea to end this childishness might work.  I am suspending your training and lessons until further notice, until then you will each be working one on one with a member of the opposing group.  When I’m done with you, you’ll all be the best friends in the world, or we’ll have to find you all new jobs.  Am I understood?  Now, about those pairs, who should we pair each of you with?”
Without hesitation, four female voices rang out in unison, “I wanna’ be paired with Lance!”
    “From these notes, provided by my minions and spies, Lance was not involved in this in anyway at all.  Besides, he has business to attend to.  You’ve got a phone message. Use the phone in the second office.”  Lou was all business.  Lance looked nervously at the display in front of him and then ran (hey, wouldn’t you?).  “According to this first article of evidence, Carlee, you seem to have been the mastermind behind Joey’s torture…”
    “That’s just because they made us totally blue…”
    “NO.  I don’t want to hear it.  Everyone, I’d like to introduce to you couple number one!  Next we’ve got, it looks like Chris and Val, any evidence against this rivalry?  NO?  Good.  Justin, I understand you’re still incapable of speech, but you and Kelly will work on that until your conversations are less hostile.”
    “Lou, don’t I already own Justin?  Can’t I have a chance to get to know someone like JC?  PLEASE?!?”  Kelly knew that she was in for trouble if she got stuck with Justin.
    “Think again Kell, JC is mine.  Isn’t that right Lou, I mean Mr. Pearlman, sir?”  Terri was more than ready to take on the challenge of breaking toothpick boy.
    “Yes, I think it appropriate that Kelly learn to be careful what she wishes for, it just might come true.  Kelly and Justin, you’re couple number three.  Terri and JC will battle it out as couple number four.  I want all of you to remember to keep records of your activities.  I will be checking up on you.  If that means sending chaperones on your outings with you, don’t think I won’t.  Either the eight of you will learn to work together or you’ll be stuck making each other miserable forever.  You’re dismissed, but I want progress reports from each group together in one week.  I’ll see you all then.  Oh, and I’ll know if you’re telling the truth, so please don’t make me send the minions to watch.”