THE GREATEST AUCTION ITEM EVER: YOU GOTTA READ THIS
 

Seller: SailorVal
Rating: completely fabricated
Time left to bid: till hell freezes over
current bid:  yeah right, please don't bid . . .this
is a joke

Description:

   You are bidding on the ultimate N Sync rarity.  I promise that if you win this auction item, you will get joy from it for years to come.  Recently, I went to the N Sync concert in MA.  I sat in the 4th row, and being the imaginative girl that I am . . .I went
to the show prepared.  Knowing about JC's tendency to projectile spit while he sings, I was able to catch a few drops of his spit (and some sweat too) into my own vacuum sealed petri dish.  That's right everyone, for the right amount of cash . . .JC's spit could be yours!  If you're lucky, he may have bit his lip and you could find some worthwhile cells in there.  In this day in age, cloning is quite possible!  As a bonus to the lucky winner, I will throw in the shirt I wore that night.  I didn't wash it (I promise it doesn't smell that bad), so you also get any spit, sweat, or backwash water that may have touched it as well.  This is an opportunity that simply cannot be missed.

Happy bidding everyone.
 

Other items that I am selling:

One of Chris's braids
Enlarged concert pics of N Sync's crotches (for you
Court)
An empty bottle of peroxide used by Justin himself
Joey's used and unwashed left sock (with Superman
symbol)
A half eaten sandwich chewed on by Lance himself

ATTENTION ALL.  NEW AUCTION (***) ANNOUNCEMENT

My co-moderator, Val, has one of Chris' braids and she is putting it up for auction.

Just because Val has never been anywhere near Chris or any other member of *NSYNC (Okay, maybe she has.  I guess fifth row at a concert is pretty close.  And well, she did get to touch Joey. . .But she found this braid back in June at the KISS 108 concert and we sat all the way back on the lawn.) doesn't mean the braid isn't Chris'.  How does Val know the braid once graced the head of Chris?  Besides the DNA testing that was done to confirm the braid, Val has a psychic connection with Chris.  You want proof?  Well, I'll give it to you.

Remember when *NSYNC was on Leno back in April and Chris was sick?  Well, Val had a flu turned sinus and double ear infection with a 103 degree temperature the same time Chris was sick.  Coincidence you may think, but that's not so.

Approximately six weeks before the tragedy of the retirement of IDMC, Val was writing a fanfic.  To make a long story short, the story starts off with Chris voting on TRL. . .And what do you know. . .Chris calls in to TRL wanting to vote.  Again, you may think coincidence.  I think not.

Wait. . .There's more.  Chris' favorite ice cream flavor is Chubby Hubby and as we all know (or may not know) it's a Ben and Jerry's flavor.  Guess who works at a Ben and Jerry's?  That's right.  Val!!!

So. . .Make sure to bid on this rare item and stay tuned for upcoming rare *NSYNC auctions coming from Val and myself.

***DISCLAMER - This auction is completely fake.  Val did not find one of Chris' braids.  I repeat. . .She DID NOT find one of Chris' braids.  (Have you got that through your head yet?)  And even if she did, do you think she would be auctioning it off?  I don't think so.

Seller: SailorVal
ending date: The day Chris and I get married (March 3, 2052)
time left: forever
Current bid: 1 billion dollars in Monopoly money

Description:

    All right people, I have REALLY outdone myself this time.  While on another one of my famous "*N Sync-Stalking Nature Walks", I was able to break into the very hotel where they were staying.  I infiltrated their room (by way of a balcony window and found myself in their bathroom.  Much to my surprise and utter delight, the shower was in use by the one and
only Mac Daddy himself . . .JRT.  I pulled out my pink TalkGirl tape recorder and was able to capture this moment in time as I hid behind the towel rack.  Yes, for the first time ever, available only through the girls at Crunky Sexy Cool . . .you have the opportunity to get your very own tape of Justin singing in the shower!  Praise be, it truly is amazing.   Not only do you get to hear Justin's melodious voice, but you also get a great mix of hip hop favorites.  Some of Justin's selections include "Ghetto SuperStar," "Bills, Bills, Bills," "Where My Girls At?," "I'm a Little Teapot," and so much more.  Best of all there is a brief intermission in the singing when JC sticks his head in the door and tells Justin to "hurry the fuck up before Joey has a chance
to throw-up all over himself again."    Quantities of this tape are limited, so we ask for seriously crazy bidders only.

Good Luck and Happy Bidding!

Other auctions we are running:

-Joey's used pool of Jell-O
-JC'c ear collection of ear wax (hey, that's why he's always picking away at those cute little button ears of his)
-Illegal bootlegged T-shirts of Chris and Busta
-Lance's personal make-up kit.  Complete with his own
brand of eyeliner

  Thanks for your interest and keep your eyes out for more auctions from Crunky Sexy Cool!
 
  Go home!

More old stuff. I'm behind!