Location: The N Sync Tour Bus, when Joey’s hair was at it's best.  I mean with the blonde highlights.  I guess this was sometime in March or April.  My little fly brain has no memory for dates.  The guys have just returned from a night out on the town, because when you're a famous pop star, sometimes you just gotta unwind and get your swerve on. (Did **I** just type
that??  Yikes!)

JOEY: Hey, Justin, thanks for telling me to bleach my hair!!  The chicks really dug my new look.  You were right.  Blondes do have more fun.

Lance elbows Justin in the ribs.

LANCE <to Justin>: What were you thinking? You know that means less girls for us.

JUSTIN <to Lance>:  I already gots more fly hunnies than I can handle.

Tossin a few his way ain’t gonna hurt nobody.  Chill.  Besides, don't you have something going on with what's her name?

LANCE <to Justin>: Well, yeah, but we're not married. . .  who knows where we'll be a few months from now??

<Fast Forward to June>
(We're skipping over the unfortunate Carrot-Top period from when the guys were on Rosie. . . what can I say?  Accidents happen.)

<Now that the guys are back on tour, their after party appearances is becoming increasingly important.  Although Justin and Lance are still attracting plenty of enticing women with their groovy bleached locks, Joey, who has the added attraction of being wicked charming, is beginning to pick up more girls than even Trophy Neck.  And the now Topanga-less Lance is starting to feel a little lonely.  Why do you think he had to get in that “Are we talking quantity or quality?” Dig on the Pay-Per-View Preshow??  It's all Joey-envy!>

<Lance lies awake, driving himself crazy, trying to think of a way to get the girls off of Joey and on to himself. He'll get Timberlake out of the way later. I know it's disturbing to think of Lance as a schemer, but still waters run deep, ya know?>

LANCE<thinking>:  Well, he thinks that the blonde hair makes him stand out. . . but now there are more blondes than brunettes in the group. . . if he wanted to stand out even more--

<There is an eerie glow in Lance's eyes.  Even scarier than his picture on the Christmas Album liner notes. He has a plan.>

<The next morning.>

LANCE: Hey Joey?

JOEY: Yeah?

LANCE:  You know what would make you stand out to the ladies even more??

JOEY:  Even more??  That'd be great!

LANCE <cringing on the inside>: If you were the only redhead in N Sync.  Then you'd really stand out!

JOEY:  Great idea, Lance!

LANCE <thinking>: Heh heh.  Now to be patient. . . soon it will be time for Phase Two.

<So Joey dyes his hair red.  We're still within the realm of hair colors found in nature.  Lance's plan has a Phase Two, remember?>

<The amazing effects of being the N Syncah getting the most attention from the <legal> ladies starts to go to Joey's head.  You know what it did to JRT.  As Joey's eyes begin to glaze over, the maniacal Lance knows it's time to put the final, apocalyptic phase of his plan into action.>

<It's mid August at this point, by the way.>

JOEY:  Wow, Lance. . . this red hair thing has worked out great.

LANCE:  You know what, Joey?  It's all well and good to be out there with plain red hair, but the ultimate attention getter would be--

<Lance is interrupted by Chris, who just really needed to make an appearance in this story.>

CHRIS: The ultimate attention getter would be to do all of our concerts <he pauses> COMPLETELY NAKED!!

<Chris breezes back out of the room, and also out of the story.>

LANCE <rolls his eyes>: Anyway, plain red is great, but you know what would be EVEN BETTER??

JOEY: What?

<Lance holds up two packets of Very Cherry Kool-Aid.  The rest, sadly, is history.>