by SailorVal for her Karen
 
 

    A few years ago, when Karen and Val were still living in the same area, they both had crappy jobs in a typical trendy Boston cafe.  Mind you, the place couldnt' be too nice . . .after all, Val and Karen worked there.
    One late summer day when there was a bit of chill in the air, Val and Karen found themselves with very little to do.  No one seemed very interested in dining in their fine establishment.  In order to pass the time, Val and Karen goofed around in the kitchen.
    "You hit me with that salami one more time and I am going to kick your ass to the day after three months ago last Tuesday."
    "That's not what you said last night!" Val yelped as she hid behind the Boston Lettuce.  "Rumor has it you couldn't get enough of that guy's 'salami.'"
    Karen smiled evilly and got an ingenius idea.  She walked calmly into the women's bathroom and came back with a small square plastic package.
    "What the hell is that?" asked Val as she peeked out between the leafy greens.
    Karen said nothing.  Instead, she began to construct something that looked oddly like a sling-shot.  Sneaking up behind Karen, Val realized in horror that Karen was about to do somthing terrible.
    "Is that a condom?  Oh my God!  Where did you get that?  EWWWW!! Gross!  You better get rid of that before Mr. Boss Man sees it."
    Karen was just about to load her new toy with a stray peice of zuccini, when she noticed a group of young men enter the cafe.  Quickly realizing how hot they were, Val slapped Karen on the back.
    "You better go out and serve them.  I'll come out after I have time to make myself look presentable.  Do you think that one with the braids is married?"
    Unfortunately, Val did not realize her strength.
After she had hit Karen, poor Karen had lost balance and lost control of her pathetic attempt at weapon making.  The entire "contraption" when flying and disappeared into the depths of the kitchen.  To add insult to injury, the chef was on his way back from his break.
    "You don't have time to find it!" screeched Val in terror.  "You better get out there NOW!"
    Karen ran out and took the boys orders . . .making sure that the tall skinny brunette one had a chance to realize just how short the skirt of her waitress uniform was.  In record time, she ran in the back, filled their orders, and gave them service with a smile.
    By this time, Val had cleaned up and was pretending to clean a nearby booth as she eyed the object of her desire.  The bouncing ball of braided babedom winked at her inbetween his bites of fried clams. (note: I do not know if Chris would really eat that stuff, but hey . . they are in New England . .just let it go!)
    Karen (having already given the guys their food), was now pretending to help Val.  The truth was, she was busy staring at her fave of the fab five.  Damn, even watching him eat was sexy!  Suddenly something terrible happened.
    "Hey, what is this at the bottom?" JC asked his friends as he poked at his food.
    "A stray calamari?" Chris tried as he stared into the bowl.
    "I don't think so . . ." was JC's reply.
    Val nudged Karen to make sure that she was also evesdropping on the hotties.  She had a feeling she knew what was coming.
    Suddenly JC pulled the run-a-way condom out from his piping hot bowl of creamy white New England clam chowder.  Everyone stared in horror as the cafe lay suspended in a terrible moment of silence.  This moment of tension was not broken until JC shot up from his seat and ran into the bathroom.  The rest continued to stare at each other as they listened to the poor boy vomit for 15 mins.  When he returned, his cheeks were sunken in and his veins were bulding out of his arms.  Chris dropped a $50 on the table and escorted the rest of the group outside, ruining Val's chance at an early marriage.
   And that, my friends is why JC VERY rarely eats anything.  I mean really . . .can you blame him?