Have you ever felt like you "just want to die"? Have you ever even attempted it? I have. I have a lot of times. I've come to realize that it just isn't the way out. It REALLY isn't! Just think about it for a minute. If you try to kill yourself, and succede, all your friends, family, animales...EVERYTHING suffers. You just end up putting a hole into everyone's soul, and you just make things worse.
I was one of many victoms from a suicide. My best friend Corey Krupich commited suicide nearly 5 months ago. He was the sweetest guy. He was my first boyfriend, and first kiss with a guy that i ever had. I went out with him 3 times. It didn't work out when we were "boyfriend and girlfriend" so we just stuck to being good friends. He moved away in the summer after grade 9 to Airdre, Alberta because when he lived here he was teased a lot, and made fun of because he was a really sensitive guy. Everyone thought that he was gay. Thats just not right. When he moved to Airdree, he was accepted for the first time by everyone. He partied, and had a lot of friends. Then his friends started to suffer from depression, and commited suicide one by one. I remember Corey phoned me the day after one of his best friends commited suicide. He was crying, and he told me about it, and how he felt and everything. I felt really bad for him. He felt like everyone was doing it to leave him on purpose. That just isn't true.
Corey's family believes that all the bugging and ridicule he faced in school led to the action he chose. Maybe others who see this page might think twice about the way the treat others.
He was a really attractive guy too. He was about 6feet 2, with dark brown hair, and really really dark brown eyes. He had REALLY nice eyes! I loved his eyes.
I wish he were still here. I would do ANYTHING to have him come back.
I remember the night in which i found out about his death. It was a Sunday night, and i had just gotten back from curling with my youth group. My brother and his girlfriend were over, and she brought some old clothes that she didn't like anymore over for me to try on. I went downstairs, and started to try them on, with out a worry about anything when the phone rang. It was my good friend Katie who lives in Crossfeild. She knew that i was really really good friends with Corey, and she phoned because she heard a rumour that he had killed himself. She told me that, and i freaked out. All i could say was "OhmiGod, OhmiGod, OhmiGod." I new right then that it was true. I didn't want to believe it, and i didn't believe her at first, but inside i new, it was the truth. I ran upstairs to get Corey's number, because i forgot what it was (my mind was just blank). I tried to phone him over and over, to make sure that it wasn't true, but there was no answer. That night changed my life forever.
The funeral was a week later. I remember walking up these steep stairs to go into the sancuary of the church, and right in front there was a HUGE picture of Corey hanging there. I looked at it, and freaked out. I pushed my way down the stairs, and went to the bathroom. I was a total reck. That was the most scaryest moment that i had ever expereinced.
A few months later, I decided that life just wasn't worth living anymore. I tried to slit my wrists. I tried 4 or more times before i quit. If I did it again I would have to go to the psychiatric hospital. I didn't want that. I tried to over dose on extra strength pills once. I took up to 14 pills. I tried to sufficate myself to death, i tried drowning, and hanging myself.
People just don't understand me to this day. I swear no one does. I won't let that get to me though. I am who I am. I'm the only one who understands myself, and thats all that counts
Before you try to do anything, please think twice. Think about your family, friends and the outside world. Suicide effects everyone, not only loved ones, but people that don't even know you. Take a moment to go to these sites, before you try anything. Please. God is with you, and he'll protect you through life. Life is full of adventure, and thrills. Sad times, and happy times. If it seems like your depressed, and you want to die, Something good, and happy comes around the corner. It may not seem like it will come soon, but it will. I garrente it.
