Adrienne squished the mop in its bucket, and sighed. "What is it with people's blood and Tartus???" she whined.
Xao rounded the corner, pausing only to deposite a severed thumb in the trash before she
moved on, mumbling about dry-cleaning and her job just as Adrienne swung her mop in Xao's general
direction, hitting Xao's face.
Creusa rounded the corner, complete with coffee cup in hand and gasped. Xao's face was soaking, a few of the bones crushed in and flakes of green skin flying everywhere.
"OMIGODS! Stupid-ass mop! It'll never happen again!" shouted Adrienne.
"Why you little. . ." Xao exclaimed as she lunged towards Adrienne and throttled the henchwench, screetching, "It'll takes YEARS to fix this! I'm dead already, ass-munch!"
Creusa stepped between the two in an attempt to stop
the catfight, only to catch a blow from Adrienne's mop.
"Uh, Adrienne?" Creusa, soaked now, turned to the fighters. "This mop is *alive*."
Xao's look of rage faded into terror as she exclaimed, "Why, that's not a mop at all!! It's-it's-IT'S-
"My living mop," Adrienne plainly pointed out
"Right you are," Xao stated, and stood up, brushing blood and green skin from her dress.
"W-wait, you mean to tell me that you two have no interest whatsoever in finding out how i got this live mop?"
Several negative responses were heard from Xao and Creusa.
"Fine then, I see how it is," Adrienne crossed her arms and har-umphed.
*silence*
"By the way, I'm Xao," Xao extended her hand to Adrienne.
"I'm The Whore of the-I mean Adrienne."
Xao and Cru momentarily looked at each other, but they smiled at her anyway.
"Wha-what was *that* evil look for?" Adrienne whimpered.
"Just, well . . . we heard what you did for a living," Creusa said, "And we kinda were wondering exactly *why* you decided not to *AHEM* Hades and stay in the Elysian Fields."
"Well, as a force of habit, I asked if I would get paid. . ."
The two began laughing. "Your payment wouldve been to not be here with US," Xao said.
Cru turned to her, "What's *that* s'posed to mean??"
Xao stared at Creusa with a disgusted look on her face.
Creusa said,"What? Did I fart?"
Xao's eyes rolled back in their sockets and she pulled a gin bottle from one of the folds in her dress.
Adrienne said, "Not to change the subject, but how in the underworld did you fit that big whiskey bottle in that little pocket?"
The two elder henchwenches blinked at Adrienne, and Xao said, "SHUTUP!" Adrienne turned her back, feeling defeated.
"Gods, Xao, you think we should show her around or something?" Creusa said. Xao, after swigging the alcohol, nodded and said, "Let's go to the Lost Soul's Midnight Diner. I just opened it."
"Ooh! Good punishment!"
"And the greasiest food in the Underworld," Xao smiled happily to herself. "It's like a piece of home."
Creusa and Xao hit Adrienne over the head with a nearby bone and dragged her off to the diner, caveman style. Hey, there was no way ANYONE would go voluntarily.
So, they revived the ex-hooker at the menacing doorway to the Lost Soul's Midnight Diner.
"Where, who . . . "Adrienne looked around and screamed bloody murder when she saw
the sign on the door. She desperately scrambled to get away, only to be tackled by the two verteran henchwenches.
"Oh no you DONT!" Xao muttered, and handed her the bottle of gin. "Look, just go in and
get a mint or something, ok?"
"Just a mint?" Adrienne hopefully asked.
"Yeah, just a mint, no peas or blue plate specials or hashbrowns, just a mint."
"Well, I *guess* so," Adrienne reluctantly agreed to the offer. But, she had no idea what was in store for her inside the diner. (bum bum BUM!) A few minutes later . . .
Adrienne was drunk, standing on the bar table, and singing with the karyoke machine.
"Knew I shouldn't-ve put that thing in," Xao cleared the plates of hashbrowns, blue plate specials, and mints that Adrienne had devoured moments before. Creusa refilled her coffee mug.
"So go join her," she said. "You play the lyre, right?"
"But, y'know, a lyre doens't quite go with 'Baby One More Time'!"
"Does ANYTHING go with 'Baby One More Time'?"
Xao shook her head. "Good point," she shook her finger at Creusa. "Well, only if you get percussion, ok?"
"Alrighty, then!" Creusa shouted. The bar suddenly grew silent as Xao advised Creusa never to say that phrase again.
"Sorry, too much coffee," Cru quieted down, and Xao mumbled understandingly about Al's
"special brew".
So, the two henchwenches joined the stage with Adrienne as she started to sing a punk version of 'I Think I Love You', much like the one that appeared on the 'Scream 2' soundtrack.
Xao snapped one of the strings on the lyre, much as the oh-so-incredible Dave Matthews
did onstage during the Dave/Tim acoustic tour. "Damn!" she yelled as it smacked her in the face and
carried away a chunk of skin.
"THAT IS BAD SHIT!" Adrienne shouted at the top of her lungs when the song finished, and took a stage dive.
"Whoa," the two remaining henchwenches looked at each other. "That IS bad shit."
Xao picked up her lyre and strolled over to the place where Adrienne had landed after being carried back a few feet. "You wanna be in a band?" she asked.
"Band??? Wha-? I have a headache," Adrienne shouted as she ran for the bathroom. Xao and Cru overheard the door slam followed by very loud puking noises.
"Yep, destined to be a rock star," Xao nodded and smiled.
Minutes later, Adrienne emerged from the bathroom with three guys desperately swooning over her.
"Hello, all!" She cheerfully exclaimed.
"Um, not to burst your bubble, but who are *those* three?" Creusa inquired.
"Oh, I'd like you all to meet my new friends. This is Ricky!" She guestured toward the first muscle-bound man. "Say 'Hi", Ricky"
"Hello!" he said as he offered a friendly handshake to the two ladies.
". . .and this is Jimi!" Adrienne continued. She pushed forward the next handsom youth for an introduction.
". . .and, last, but not least, is. . .is. . .um. . .this is Jimi's. . .'thing' -er- friend. Forgive me, I forgot your name." Adrienne shamefully admitted.
"Name's Rex," the last dreamy male ansewered.
"Ah, yes, Rex. Oh, Rexy, you're SO sexy!!!"
"Why, thank you!"
Creusa rolled her eyes as Xao drooled.
"This is great! We have groupies now!!" Xao said.
"Whadaya MEAN, groupies?!?!?! You mean to tell me that you guys just liked my drunken rendition of 'I think I Love You' and you *didn't* want to be 'serviced'??" Adrienne shouted.
"Well, er, um. . .heh," Ricky said.
Rex smootly slid over next to Creusa and slipped his arm around her waist. "Why don't we blow this joint and go somewhere fun," he proposed.
Creusa elbowed the guy in the stomach and said, "Get lost, creep." She grabbed the two girls by the hair and dragged them out of the diner. Afterall, Jimi was beginning to eye Xao's low-cut dress.
"Well., there goes our band," Xao sighed.
Adrienne got to her feet and began saying, "No, it doesn't have to be the end! We could continue being in a band and spread love, happiness, and joy to all those in the underworld. Give hope to the hopeless, joy to the joyless, and cheerfulness to the cheerfulnessless. And maybe even become famous beyond the underworld and-"
Creusa and Xao slapped Adrienne across her face simultaneously.
"Get back to work!" they both shouted at the newcomer.
Adrienne picked up her mop and bucket and began scrubbing.
The End