I won't say, "I know how you feel" - because I don't. I've lost parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and friends, but I've never lost a child. So how can I say I know how you feel? I won't say, "You'll get over it" - because you won't. Life will have to go on. The washing, cooking, cleaning, the common routine. These chores will take your mind off your loved one, but the hurt will still be there. I won't say, "Your other children will be a comfort to you" - because they may not be. Many mothers I've talked to say that after they have lost a child, they easily lose their temper with their remaining children. Some even feel resentful that they're alive and healthy when the other child is not. I won't say, "Never mind, you're young enough to have another baby" - because that won't help. A new baby cannot replace the one that you've lost. A new baby will fill your hours, keep you busy, give you sleepless nights. But it will not replace the one you've lost. You may hear all these platitudes from your friends and relatives. They think they are helping. They don't know what else to say. You will find out who your true friends are at this time Many will avoid you because they can't face you. Others will talk about the weather, the holidays and the school concert but never about how you're coping. So what will I say? I will say, "I'm here. I care. Anytime. Anywhere." I will talk about your loved one. We'll laugh about the good memories. I won't mind how long you grieve. I won't tell you to pull yourself together. No, I don't know how you feel - but with sharing, perhaps I will learn a little of what you are going through. And perhaps you'll feel comfortable with me and find your burden has eased. Try me.
Written by a pediatric nurse Submitted to Ann Landers from A 5th Portion of Chicken Soup for the Soul Copyright 1998 by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen
When tomorrow starts without me, and I'm not there to see; If the sun should rise and find your eyes, all filled with tears for me; I wish so much you wouldn't cry, the way you did today, while thinking of the many things, we didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me, as much as I love you, and each time that you think of me, I know you'll miss me too; But when tomorrow starts without me, please try to understand, that an Angel came and called my name, and took me by the hand, and said my place was ready, in heaven far above, and that I'd have to leave behind, all those I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away, a tear fell from my eye, for all life, I'd always thought, I didn't want to die. I had so much to live for, so much yet to do, it seemed almost impossible, that I was leaving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays, the good ones and the bad, I thought of all the love we shared, and all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday, just even for awhile, I'd say goodbye and kiss you and maybe see you smile.
But then I fully realized, that this could never be, for emptiness and memories, would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things, I might miss come tomorrow, I thought of you, and when I did, my heart was filled with sorrow.
But when I walked through heaven's gates, I felt so much at home. When God looked down and smiled at me, from His great golden throne,
He said, "This is eternity, and all I've promised you". Today for life on earth is past, but here it starts anew. I promise no tomorrow, but today will always last, and since each day's the same day, there's no longing for the past.
But you have been so faithful, so trusting and so true. Though there were times you did some things, you knew you shouldn't do. But you have been forgiven and now at last you're free. So won't you take my hand and share my life with me?
So when tomorrow starts without me, don't think we're far apart, for every time you think of me, I'm right here, in your heart.
David M. Romano Author