Pat Delgado reports.
Flashing is alot more complex than,say, streaking. Firstly,I need the uniform,as the flasher's dress code is very strict! I used a pair of navy blue casual slacks which I cut off and then elasticated at the knee. A sturdy white workshirt next which I shortened to just above my tum. I then tried on my mac and checked my reflection with all the buttons fastened. Perfect! the model of respectability with only the giveaway draught to remind me of my devilish purpose!
It did feel strangly liberating as I walked the streets bidding a cheery "Good evening!" to people "tackle out" so to speak,and I was looking forward to my first victim with great relish! As I approached the "Wilfred Brambell memorial toilet",I felt my nerves get to me a little,but on I went towards a rather striking young woman walking her dog...
"What about this then?",I enquired throwing caution and coat to the wind. "Not bad,but how about this?" she retorted producing a warrant card and handcuffs... Great,my first ever flash and it turns out to be a woman police officer!
Yoghurt,you utter bastard,this is all your fault and when I get out I'm going to flay you alive! What on earth am I going to tell the wife???
Here's Humphrey!
