Children misbehave for many reasons. These include, but are not limited to: 1. Being Tired - 2. Hunger - 3. Sickness - 4. Poor Communication - 5. Bad Feelings - A. Anger - B. Fear - C. Jealosy - D. Hurt - Understanding the cause of misbehavior can help you choose an effective method of changing the behavior. When parents "give in" to inconsiderate behavior, it encourages children to repeat the misbehavior. For example: 1. The child makes a Demand. 2. The parent refuses to give the child what he/she wants, pointing out appropriate reasons why. 3. The child's Demands continue. 4. The parent becomes irritated. 5. The child keeps pestering 6. The parent gets upset and over-reacts. 7. The parent feels guilty, apologizes to the child and gives in to the Demand after all.
1. When children misbehave: A. Take action that is appropriate for your child and the situation. B. Discipline out of love. C. Always try to be firm, logical, fair, and consistent. D. If you're feeling angry or upset, take time to cool off before deciding what the consequences of the misbehavior should be. 2. Behavioral Contracts Sometimes children develop annoying habits. Parents and children can make an agreement (contract) in advance to eliminate these. To do this: A. Agree on what behavior is expected. B. Discuss and choose rewards for expected behavior, and the consequences of misbehavior. C. Follow-up by recording successful behavior - with a chart of checkmarks, for example. 3. Scolding A. Say only what is necessary to stop the misbehavior. B. DO NOT make empty threats or attack the child's character, especially when you're angry. C. DO NOT plead or apologize for scolding. 4. Removing Privileges 5. Isolation Isolation may give an ill-tempered or unruly child a chance to cool off. When sending a child to his/her room, a parent should: A. Tell the child how long to stay there. B. Make clear the time will be increased if the child comes out too soon. C. Make sure the child is in a safe place. D. Take time to TALK after the child comes out. 6. Physical Punishment
Encourage positive behavior through the use of these BASIC STEPS: 1. Give children LOVE 2. LISTEN to your children 3. UNDERSTAND your child 4. Set LIMITS: A. Explanation - B. Discussion - C. Repetition - D. The whole family needs limits on: i. Time - e.g. bedtime, curfews, etc. ii. Boundaries - e.g. "You may go here, but not there." iii. Behavior - e.g. "You may do this, but not that." 5. Give Rewards 6. Promote Independence: A. Begin to Discipline early - learning begins at birth. B. Allow your child to share in decisions. As he/she grows older, give increased responsibility for setting limits. C. Provide encouragement and comfort whenever your child experiences failure. 7. Discuss Emotions 8. Promote Responsibility: A. Discuss what needs to be done. Assign jobs to each person (rotate chores for fairness). B. Set time limits for job completion. C. Check to make sure jobs are done. D. Praise children for completing tasks, to help develop their confidence. 9. Set a good example: A. If you want them to be punctual, you should be too. B. If you want them to pick up their clothes, you should pick up your own. C. If you want them to speak softly, so should you. D. If you want them to be polite, you should use "please", "thank-you", etc. when talking with your children and others. E. If you want them to stick to limits, you should set your own limits and stick to them.
1. Be Prompt - 2. State the Reason - 3. Set a Limit - 4. Control Your Emotions - 5. Communicate your love - 6. Avoid empty threats - 7. Scold in private - 8. Think before you act - Positive Discipline includes: 1. Understand your child's needs. 2. Rewarding your child for good behavior. 3. Discouraging misbehavior firmly but fairly - and BE CONSISTENT. 4. Adapting your methods of discipline as your child grows older. 1997
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