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News Story Excerpt and Sample Trial |
URGENT PRESS RELEASE Effective Immediately
Yes Virginia there is a Santa Clause, BUT
He is being tried for Habitually:
Breaking and Entering into Millions of Homes.
Violating International Air Space
Violating Restricted Air Space over Military Installations
Violating Restricted Air Space over the White House
Flying Without A License
Santa Clause will be tried in the 101st District Teen Court.
The prosecuting attorneys' team will be placing a number of witnesses on the stand. The prosecutor said that the alleged perpetrator has habitually entered homes every year for a long time. In addition, the prosecutor's office said that Santa has allegedly left so many clues that the case will be an open and shut case.
The prosecuting team was asked the question of whether or not parents could be used as coconspirators to help find Santa not guilty. The prosecuting team responded that if there were co-conspirators, it would simply mean that they helped Santa break the law.
The prosecuting team indicated it intended to subpoena local TV station weather reporters who have in the past reported seeing Santa Clause on their weather satellites. Additional witnesses would be called.
Translators will be used to translate questions and answers of various witnesses representing several different countries.
Will Santa be found not guilty in time to deliver presents to children all over the world or will the trial continue through Christmas as other long trials of famous celebrities do? The OJ Simpson trial , if you remember, took over a year before a verdict was delivered. A delay in the trial could mean no presents for millions of children all over the world.
The defense attorneys' team feels confident that Santa will be found not guilty. The defense team was asked if Santa would be taking the stand to speak on his own behalf. The defense team responded that Santa would not be taking the stand for two reasons: 1) it was up to the prosecuting team to provide enough evidence, witnesses and testimony to prove Santa's Guilt without Santa having to take the stand, and 2) Santa's time would be better used to prepare for Christmas, while the defense team did its job to prove his innocence.
The trial shall begin at 10:30 am, Monday, December 22, 1997. While the Trial is a public affair, there is limited seating and only individuals with passes will be allowed into the courtroom.
The 101st District Teen Court falls under the Administrative Rule of the National Teen Courts of America located at world wide web site www.angelfire.com/biz/nationalteencourts.
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