Good Day!

Following are some items from the 11/21/98 "Simple Holidays, Happy Holidays... How Can We Have Both This Year?" gathering, hosted by the Chicago Simplicity group.

A special thank you to Michael Herman for facilitating the Gathering using Open Space Technology, and to Old St. Pat's for the gracious use of their 2^nd floor meeting area. And thank you for your participation and support!

With the above theme, Michael Herman opened the gathering with a brief explanation of Open Space-a meeting style that allows space (time) for everyone to express their thoughts, ideas, and observations, while simultaneously generating synergistic creativity and actions.

Following the opening, Michael encouraged everyone to write topics or questions (relative to the theme), they wished to discuss or seek answers. Using blank sheets of paper, the group generated 14 topics/questions and posted them on an empty wall. They narrowed the topics to nine by combining similar thoughts/ideas. They then decided to convene three, one-hour discussion sessions, with three topics in each session. Here's a list of the topics that were posted:

• Gladys-"How can Christmas morning be a happy time?"
• Laura-"Favorite presents you've received that weren't store bought?" Carol-"Time Management --- how do you fit in everything you want to do?"
• Ensign-"What about all the traditions; Santa, trees, ..." Mike-"Are you worried what others will think/say if you do something different for the holidays?"
• Jill-"Does the $ Value of gifts does demonstrate love for the recipient?"
• Elizabeth-"Family that tells you to take their gifts back if they don't like them" Jill-"What are creative non-materialistic gift ideas?"
• Ana-"Ideas for gifts on a limited budget"
• Taleese-"Let's share alternative/creative ideas to gifts"

The sessions then began with Michael sharing Open Space's basic principles-"sign-up" for one or more of the discussions, those that posted the topic convenes the discussion, whenever the discussion starts is the right time to start, when the discussion is over it's over (i.e., don't need to use the whole hour/may need more than an hour), it's ok to move freely from discussion to discussion (i.e., be a Bee and pollinate each discussion, or float from one to another like a Butterfly), who ever comes to the discussion is the right one to come, whatever happens is the only thing that could happen.

Many wonderful, wonderful thoughts and ideas were shared and created in the three hours that followed. Of the three discussions that convened during each session, some concluded quickly while others continued. Everyone moved freely from one discussion to another. Sometimes, there were five discussions going on (three in the meeting room and two in the hallway), while at others, the entire group convened on a topic. Here is just a sampling of some of the issues, ideas and solutions...

• When faced with buying for 20 nieces and nephews, Tim received the idea of gathering a hay ride for them-an event which he could spend time with his family, while perhaps beginning a family tradition
• During discussion about "real" gifts-gifts that connect your soul to another -- Taleese observed that perhaps conventional gift giving is a way we avoid making this connection
• Real gifts of time were discussed-regular weekly phone calls to loved ones, taking someone to lunch/dinner one on one, spending the day with a niece/nephew/father/mother-in-law/Aunt/Uncle..., painting your parent's home, doing someone's gardening for them, ...
• Real gifts-sending a niece/nephew a note about something that you really like about them
• Avoiding the rush of mounds of presents being opened without appreciation on Christmas morning-discuss alternatives with your family ahead of time, i.e. less gift giving, no gift giving, discuss what Christmas really is about instead of gifts...
• What are some of the traditions, where did they come from and why do we do some of them? St. Nichols got the well to do to give to the less fortunate, Poinsettias originated from Mexico where they naturally bloom in December, Rudolph came from the song...
• And we talked together as a whole group of past/present traditions in our families... the Wednesday phone call to dad, the hand knit slippers shipped every Christmas across the country from Grandma, that "little something" in the mail every year for the past 30+ years from aunt and uncle that will stop this Christmas, putting up decorations, dinners with family, ... many, many wonderful memories and traditions-all around time and/or connect to one another (i.e., not about gifts, status, ...)

Some actions for making the holidays simpler and thus happier...

• Gathering that hay ride, one on one time...
• Talk with the family about doing something different...
• Making simple gifts, directed to who will be receiving them
• A "certificate" to paint the inside of Grandma's home
• Not putting up the tree this year/scaling back on decorations
• Pot lucks for the traditional meals
• Gathering the family for volunteer work at shelters (& throughout the year too)

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PS: The Center for a New American Dream has a pamphlet available on "Simplifying the Holidays". You can receive one by contacting the Center at: