VS Chicago August 13, 2005 Meeting Notes

Mike, Tom, Isabel, Jessica, Will, Celia, Eric, Judy and Glen welcomed Lisa and Scott to their first meeting. Mike opened the meeting space with a brief round of introductions.

The group then began discussion under topic headings of:

• What have you done lately that made your life simpler?
• Philosophical/Spiritual aspects of simplicity
• The Environment & Simplicity
• Money & Simplicity

Here are a few notes from the group discussions…

Funny thing... when you buy the very latest Palm Pilot or other technology creep device, friends think of you as an "early adapter", a leading edge technohead. But when you add solar panels to your roof to harvest nature's gift, they think you're weird. Folks at an energy fair think you're cool for adding solar panels, but think you're weird because you've chosen to do so in the city - "Why not move out to the country, get off the grid?" Well maybe this is an easier thing if you live in the suburbs...

Not quite. Jessica says her suburban neighbors think she's "weird" because her kids are not scheduled for 10 activities at once, that she occasionally takes the bus to the mall out of environmental respect, and believes in the wonders of natural childbirth. "Oh your poor kids", "But you have a car?", "Don't you want the best for your babies?". Yep, she's weird...

"What do you mean you left your great paying job to do something else? Are you crazy". No, just weird.

"Don't you want to buy it? No?!??!! Why not?!!?! I don't need it!!!??? Wow... You ARE weird."

Scott said some friends envy their voluntary simplicity choices. How does that happen? Mainly by not preaching, not judging others for their choices, and being an understated example rather then a secret police force. Perhaps it's a passion in what you truly believe in that draws folks to you. They turn to you seeking to learn something from your experiences and something from why you want to do this while many others don't.

How does one bring up the "weird" things like these to a group of their friends? If you say something contrary to normal group discussion, they all might think you're weird. Sometimes you simply can't say anything => the time is not right, the people are not right, it's not what you need to be doing at that moment.... Perhaps, by letting your passionate ideals come up in casual one-on-one conversation, someone may be very interested. In a group setting, someone might not want to appear interested (least THEY be thought of as "weird" by the group). But one-on-one, they might shyly/embarrassingly inquire. Group settings can be very difficult - the majority may feel they have a right to their views, but the simple liver doesn't. Why is that?

It probably isn't totally avoidable => some will hate you, some will cheer, others will not notice. So what do you do? It's normal for friends to come into and out of your life anyway. Your simplicity choices are just another thing that will create a divide in some, while creating an attraction for others. It's all a part of a normal life circle.

Celia mentioned when you're out of the work life, she's discovered there are LOTS of folks who are home during the day - "You see them shopping, walking, enjoying the lake front. It's like a Secret Society!".

Judy added it's more the norm for women in their 50's to be tired of working. Sickness can bring about appreciation for the shortness of life - a "best enjoy it when you can" sort of thing. And besides, 30 years in the work place of this fabulously rich country of ours just might be enough. Learning to recognize when you have enough is a part of simplicity. Many great works and ancient wisdoms survive to remind us about enough (like, "Do not wear yourself out getting rich. Have the wisdom to show restraint", from the book of Psalms).

Working a paying job is an accepted American norm. Staying at home while capable of having a job is not totally acceptable. Choosing a "personal life" instead of a "work life" is out of the norm. Stay at home moms come under constant pressure. Women who choose to not have children and stay home are pressured too. Come to think of it, when aren't you pressured by someone who thinks you should be doing something you aren't doing??

Mike asked if the group thought someone might see their own desires mirrored in your example. Perhaps folks can feel pinned down and unable to do what you're doing because peer/society pressure holds them back. Might that be a source of their resentment towards you? That would be weird...

We talked about "To Do lists" and getting things done. Celia mentioned lists don't seem to work as well when living a slowed down life. "Lists are great during vacations - I'll go here, see this then that, and go off to..." Mike noticed a similar experience. In his 5 1/2 years since leaving paid employment, to do lists and goal setting no longer worked for him. Those time management tools were fine when living his life on "clock-time", but wrecked havoc now he lives his life on "natural time". He keeps a calender (there are still appointments, etc), but finds keeping time loose to enjoy what happens, when it happens yields results and fulfillment much greater then anything he could have "planned". It's more like being led, then pushing on to make something happen. (the book "A Sideways Look at Time", by Jay Griffiths, explores the development of clock time and resultant loss of natural time).

Even when living a simple life, there is still need for human interaction. Some folks need more interaction, others less. And there is also a need for soul interaction time. This led the group to a brief discussion about Myers-Briggs personality preference work. It might be helpful for example, to understand how much you have a preference for "talking things out" or silently "thinking things through". You probably do both, but may have a stronger preference for one. (more on Myers-Briggs is available on-line).

And we concluded with some discussion on passion and discovering who you are. Scott quoted Isabel, "As life goes on, you become more of who you are". Perhaps after being seduced by more is better and then seeking a simpler life, this might go something like, "As life goes on, you return to more of who you are."