If you fantasize about her in the nude, you're a pervert.
If you don't, you are a fag.
If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you're sexist.
If you don't, you are unromantic
If you try to keep yourself in shape, you are vain.
If you don't, you are a slob.
If you buy her flowers, you are after something.
If you don't, you are not thoughtful.
If you talk about your achievements, you're arrogant.
If you don't, you are not ambitious.
If you want it too often, you are oversexed.
If you don't, there must be someone else.
If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.
If you don't work enough, you're "a good for nothing" bum.
If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment.
If you don't, it's male indifference.
If you stay home and do the housework, you are a pansy.
If you don't, you are exploiting women by not doing it.
If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you are a male chauvinist.
If you don't, you dont care about her
If you are totally beat after a hard day's work, you don't give a shit about other people's needs.
If you aren't, that means that you need to get yourself another job
If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore.
If she has a headache, she is tired
If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, it's domination.
If she asks you, it's a favor.
If you make a decision without consulting her, you are a chauvinist.
If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's liberated woman.
If you get a promotion ahead of her, it's sexism.
If she gets job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your ass and find something better.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, it's exploitation.