1) Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic."
2) Man: "So, wanna go back to my place?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"
3) Man: "I'd really like to get into your pants."
Woman: "No thanks. There's already one asshole in there."
4) Man: "Want to Dance?"
Woman: "No, thank you."
Man: "Don't thank me, thank God somebody asked you."
5) Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."
Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."
6) Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman: "Female impersonator."
7) And here's one including the correct snappy return:
Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized, screw off!"