Jokes about Blondes
A blonde and a Brunette go parachuting. The Blonde jumps first,
pulls her parachute cord and is slowly drifting in the air and enjoying
the view. The brunette jumps after her, pulls her parachute cord but nothing
happens! She pulls it again, this time as hard as she can, still nothing.
She pulls the cord to the emergency chute, but that doesn't open either.
She passes by the blonde like a speeding bullet!!!
The blonde looks at her and says, while getting her parachute off
her shoulders, "Soooo, you want to race, do you?!!!"
A blonde walks up to a soda machine, puts in a coin, presses a
button, and out pops a Coke. The blonde looks amazed and runs away to get
some more coins. She returns and starts feeding the machine madly and
of course the machine keeps popping out drinks. Another person walks
up behind the blonde and watches her antics for a few minutes before
stopping her and asking if someone else could have a chance. The
blonde whirls around and shouts in his face, "Can't you see I'm winning?!"
Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down and said
Oh, look at the deer tracks." The other blonde looks and says "Those
aren't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks." "No. Those are deer
tracks." They keep arguing, and arguing, and one half hour later they were
both killed by a train.
A man boarded the airplane and noticed a lady in his asigned seat. "I'm
sorry miss, you are in the wrong seat." "I'm blond, beautiful, going to
Chicago, and I'm not moving!" was her reply. The flight attendant come over,
asked to se her ticket. "I'm sorry miss, you have a ticket for coach. This
is first class. You will have to move." "I'm blond, beautiful, going to
Chicago, and NOT moving!" she said again. So the flight attendant called for
the Captain. He asked for her ticket then explained, "I'm very sorry miss, but
everything in this section is first class. You will have to move to the coach
section." She replied, "I'm blond, beartiful, going to Chicago, and NOT
moving!" The Captain then whispered something in her ear. She bolted out of
the seat, grabbed her purse from the overhead and shot back to coach. When
asked what he said, the Captain answered, "I just told her the first class
section wasn't going to Chicago."
A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to
buy this TV," she told the salesman. "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he
replied.
She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman
"I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
"Darn, he recognized me," she thought. She went for a complete disguise this
time, haircut and new color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days
before she again approached the salesman. "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. Frustrated, she exclaimed "How
do you know I'm a blonde?" "Because that's a microwave," he replied.
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