Hey what's up
Monday, Febuary 03, 2003, 9:20am:
I don't know exactly what this page is for, so I'm guessing it's going to be like a diary or something. I've never kept a online diary before because I kinda see a diary as something personal and not public.
I woke today around 4 or 5 am, I went to sleep around 2 or 3am, that's the most sleep i've had in the last couple of days so I'm happy, I feel recharged. I got online and no one was on so I decided since today was a Snow Day, 4 inchs of snow out there, I'd update my webpage. That's what I've been doing since 6am till now, 9:28am. Fun Fun. HTML coding is a bitch.
Things I'll probley be doing today: Trudge my way to Joels house and hang out there with his kids around 12 or so. Then come home, take a shit load of sleeping pills and try to sleep off the pain of counciousness.
Current Emtion:
Surprise, Deeper Sadness
Why: Something my ex told me before I signed off last night, my fault, I asked.
Saterday, Febuary 08, 2003, 5:13pm:
Ended up going to Toms house yesterday around 3 or 4. We went to the mall, we hung out at Hot Topics, Pocket Change, Sun Coast, Orange Julious, and Spencers. We met up with our friend "Calcium Man" or "Steven" and we played around for alittle bit. There were alot of cool lookin gothy goths there for some reason it was nice. We went home and got really stoned then went to his basement and watched "WoodStock" which is a documentary of woodstock. It was great. Tom-"We watched the wrong side man" yea we watched the second disc first, Tom-"I wondered why it was so short."
So anywho, I'm still here. I'm probley going to go to my friend Sarah Ruhls house today. As soon as I get home, when ever that will be, my mom hasn't picked up her phone. Fuckin hippie. Yesterday we went to Superfresh and I went to one of those machines you put your change into, and it like gives you a ticket giving you a store discount based on how much money you put in the machine. So I put in a quarter, and it gives me a ticket that is worth .23 cents. I walk up to the stand and I put my hand over the Juicy Fruit and i'm trying to figure out what i want. Then I look down and I turn to Tom and I go, "Dude man, I want some Juicy Fruit" and I'm acting like I'm really stoned, and I pause for a long time. The guy behind the counter is waiting for me to do something and Toms just like "ok, buy it" so I say "yeeeaah man, juicy fruit" then I pause for awhile then I say "yeeeeah" just like Jim Brewer in Half Baked. I pick it up and I put it on the counter, he rings it up to .27 cents. Then Tom gives me some change and I said, "Wait man, I got it covered." I pulled out the ticket for .23 cents and I put it on the counter and pull out a nickel. The guy just sighs and runs it and I got my juicy fruit. Now, if you don't think this was a pot head thing to do, keep in mind this is after we bought a 12 pack of soda, and two, giant bags, of Funyuns.
Quote of the Day: Dude man, I want some Juicy Fruit......yeeeaah man, juicy fruit......yeeaah.
Current Emtion:
Lazy, In Chill Mode
Why: Been sitting around watching the first disc of the woodstock cd, while Tom is playing his guitar, and were just hangin around, talking about stuff and bein stupid.
Monday, Febuary 10, 2003, 3:57pm:
Well interesting things have arised in the past day concerning drugs. Aparently a friend of mine that should not have it, has it, and is trying to sell it. I have mixed emotions about it but I will leave that at that.
My moms doesn't want people to like, come to my house anymore. I want out of this fucking house so bad, and she wants me out aswell. She hates me and I guess I hate her now. I'm a free spirit confined by all this. Errr.
As gloomy as it may sound, I'm confortible with the fact that when I die, it will probley be sucicde, and that I'd do it the first chance I could find some more effective way then cutting. In the last 2 weeks, I've been there, right on the line. I'm afraid I'm used to being there. I'm sorry if this upsets anyone, I'm pretty to myself about the things that I do to myself, but for the people who really truely want to know what is on my mind 24/7, sucicde.
Current Emtion:
Sucicidal
Why: If I had the time, I'd type it out. But no one would care or understand to acually read it all.
Quete of the day: Brian your crazy CRAZY LIKE A ROCK!
Sateryday, March 01, 2003, 1:22pm:
Well I haven't updated my journal in awhile. I'm alot better now. I went into a ward or Febuardy 13. And was in there for a week or so. I ODed on Tylnal and Vodka and came very close to death. I hit rock bottem and now I have no where to go but up. I'm taking Ziprexa and Paxcel. Mood stablizers and Anti-depressents. I'm so happy now and my life has turned around completely. I'm a new man.
I met this girl, Amy, at PHP (Partial Hospitazaion Program) and she's really cool. She rocks the boat hard core. She has a boyfriend, that's the only down side. But we've established already that we like each other. I don' t know what happens next so guess I'll just have to wait and find out. Hey having a boyfriend is kinda like a wall, but i'll break throw somehow. lol. She's funny, extremly smart, and she's the kinda girl I like to chill with. So that's gravey.
I haven't been in school for 2 weeks. I'm taking a sabatical on weed for acouple months so I can get my life straight. I need a clear mind. Seeing this is the appex of my life, i need to keep a clear mind. My War Lock is working again. Yea, i can play heavy metal again. YAY! I'm lisioning to "The Pixies" -Where is my mind. If you get a chance, lision to it.
Current Emtion:
Happy, Docile
Why: Happy that my life is turned around.
Quete of the day: Rocks the boat hard core
Sunday, March 09, 2003, 7:10pm:
Well another day, another day. I dyed my hair black and dreaded my bangs. I love my hair! Well I thought Amy had been ignoring me when she wasn't. She's having some hard times with her boyfriend and it's upsetting to me. I want to hurt him for making her feel that way. Girls, don't let us guys treat you that poorly.
Friday afternoon I went to a party, 2 kegs, jello shooters, and pot. It kicked. Then I spent the night at Erics house. In the morning we throw a tail gate party that was fun. Then Saterday afternoon I threw a kick ass party. I partied all weekend long. It was a blast.
I'm going back into school tomarrow, that's going to be pretty scary. But I am excited to let people see the new me.
Current Emtion:
Sleepy, suspenseful
Why: Well i'm sleepy cause I'm sleepy. Suspensed full cause Amys gonna call me at 9
Quete of the day: Coolness
Monday, March 10, 2003, 12:56pm:
Well I'm home today, turns out I have to be signed back into school I can't just go back. So I'm home, my friend eric is here and we just threw back 2 shots of Jagermeister and were good to go. Where gonna do alittle MDK (Murder Death Kill) on the playstaion 2 were playing "Medal Of Honer Frontline" good game.
Eric is by far, my best of best friends (The best of the best of the best sir!). Were chillin, throwin back a few beers havin a good time. I met eric at my 15th birthday throw my friend amy who he was dating at the time. I met him again the very first time I got high. He took my weed cherry. After that we were off and on friends for awhile till we started hanging out more and more. We realized that we were much alike and that is when at Sunday, Febuary 23, 2003 = 6:30pm we became blood brothers. We are going to buy a house for the two of us in the near future. It's great.
Well there isn't much else to say. Stitch rules!
Current Emtion:
Docile and Happy
Why: Docile cause i'm half way drunk, happy cause erics here.
Quete of the day: MDK MDK MDK MDK
Thursday, Febuary 13, 2003, 9:44pm:
Half day today, fun fun. I skipped in the halls today with Nej singing the wizard of oz tone.
Afterwards I went to my friend Julias house and I shroomed for the first time. It was interesting.
I'm talking to Amy on the phone. She makes me very happy. Hopefully she's coming over tomarrow to pick me up to take me to the hospital with her so she can get her blood takin. Then afterwards come over to my house and hang.
Current Emtion:
Happy, Docile
Why: Happy cause i'm talking to Amy on the phone right now, docile cause i'm tired.
Quete of the day: You Dip
Saterday, Febuary 15, 2003, 7:41pm:
At 1:30am today my house was raided by the police. They were looking for my friend cause she skipped out on her mom but when they came down they found open cans of alchol. They searched my room and found a 30 pack of Bud Ice, a Royal of Jaugermister, and some other random alchol. Then they searched my droors and found my bongs and shit and smashed them.
So now my mom is kicking me out of the house when I turn 18 and I have like no where to go. I'm so completely fucked it's rediculous.
I took the heat for all my friends, and they know who they are. I love you guys, and if I had to do things differently, i still would have partied my ass off.
Eariler before all that shit happened, I got to hang out with Amy, we had a kick ass party together with me and my friends, it was alot of fun. The cops happened to get here exactly at the end of the party but we all had a good time so I don't want people to remember the bad times, but remember the good times. It's all gravey.
Current Emtion:
Regret, Sad
Why: Regret for getting caught, sad cause my mom hates me now
Quete of the day: Yes Officer, No Officer
