These were sent to me......thought I would send them on.

1. Any and all compliments can be handled by simply saying, "Why,
   thank you" (though it helps if you say it with a Southern accent).

2. Some people are working backstage, some are playing in the
   orchestra, some are on stage singing, some are in the audience as
critics and
   some are there to applaud. Know who and where you are.

3. Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas.

4. When baking, follow directions. When cooking, go by your own
   taste.

5 . Never continue dating anyone who is rude to the waiter and
    doesn't like dogs or cats.

6. Good sex should involve laughter. Because think about it, it is
   funny.

7. You need only two tools. WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move
   and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape.

8. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship:
   I'm sorry I was wrong

9. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

10. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately.  It's easier to
    eat crow while it's still warm.

11. The only really good advice that I remember my mother ever gave
    me was "Go! You might meet somebody!"

12. If he/she says that you are too good for him/her--believe it.

13. I've learned to pick my battles; I ask myself, Will this matter
    one year from now? How about one month? One week? One day?

14. Never pass up an opportunity to pee.

15. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another
    chance!

16. Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because
    of a bad or former relationship just might mean that the other
person was
    right about you.

17. Knowing how to listen to music is as great a talent as knowing
    how to make it.

18. Work is good but it's not that important.

19. Never underestimate the kindness of your fellow man.

20. And finally ... Be really nice to your friends. You never know
    when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.