I guess that’s the price you pay
To be a big shot like I am
Outstretched hands and one night stands
And still I can’t find love

~Present~
"We were tripping on LSD that night."

I couldn't believe the words escaping her mouth. As we had both just pieced together the evening, I felt like something was stolen from us. "Why?"

"I didn't find out until I got back. Trent asked what I had done with them. I told him I had worn them. That's when he told me they had been laced with the drug. He laughed his ass off." I noticed the tears that must have been stinging her eyes, slowly make the trail down her cheek. "A few weeks later I found out I was pregnant."

"How do you know he's really mine? I mean, you slept with Trent around the same time, didn't you?" As much as I should've been upset, I wasn't. Trent was a prick and now I knew it. At this point, all I feel is sadness. I feel sadness about sharing something so special with my best friend and then not being able to fully recall everything. I feel sadness about having a son and not knowing it for five years. Everywhere I went I was Nick Carter, teen heartthrob and poster boy for the hormonal girls of today. Almost every place I went, people knew who I was. Yet, my own son didn't even know who I was. In this business, it's hard to tell who you can trust and who you can't. Believe me; never in a million years did I think I couldn't trust Trent.

"Nick, I hadn't slept with Trent in a month. Then again, he was usually so wasted that he couldn't remember when we had done anything. It was easy to fool him." I noticed her hands intertwine. She soon became nervous about every little thing she said. "I never wanted to keep this from you but I had no choice. At that point he just beat me up. Had I told him we slept together, I wouldn't be standing before you today and your son wouldn't be in your backyard."

"What do you wanna do now? I mean, are you just gonna drop this bomb on me and then go back to the life you've lived, or do you want something different for yourself and our son?"

"What I want isn't important. It's up to you, Nick. If you want things normal then that's what I want. If you're willing to embrace this whole thing then that's what I want. I can't force you into a situation because of my wants."

"So, you're not gonna tell me what you want, are you?" Her big eyes stared straight into mine as she shook her head. Everything was lying at my feet. Here was my opportunity to grab the girl I've admired for so long and have a family as well. My thoughts soon turned to the public, wondering what the headlines would look like. True, I've never been one that's cared about what others thought, but this was a situation where there would be a lot at stake. I wasn't so worried about Bambi and Jake. The fans would learn to get over it and turn their attention to the next blonde hair guy that Lou Pearlman helped to exploit. What I was concerned about was Trent. There was no telling how he would react to this.

"Nick, I need to know. I won't influence your decision with what I want, but I also can't stand to wait forever. "

"Come here." I opened my arms to her and only her. "I'll take care of you. I'll take care of you and our son." Without another thought, I pressed my lips to hers.

"Will you watch Jake? I just wanna get our stuff from the apartment."

"You're going by yourself? I don't think that's a hot idea."

"Nick, you being there wouldn't help things. If anything it'll make Trent even more outraged. Before you know it the whole thing will be about testosterone and who's tougher."

The pit of my stomach felt shaky, but I let her out of my embrace. At that moment, I already felt like a part of me was missing and wouldn't return soon enough.

And when your walls come tumbling down
I will always be around