Tuesday
Me and Rob first to be awake. Take advantage of hotel's free breakfast
Go back to room, everyone still crashed. Watched Olympics and did lines
At 11:00 Bianca phones the room and says there going wandering and shopping
No one goes with them. They disappear for 3 hours
Still watching Olympics for those 3 hours. Witness Alexander Despatie win silver
Go wandering the streets at 3:00. Buy pitas at some dessert place, they kind of suck
The pasta salad mixed with tuna was tasty though. Go to a park and smoke cigars
Go to military surplus store. Cut thumb on knife, blood all over cigarette. Woman in Burger King gives me a bandaid
Eat at Oscar Wilde Pub which Dicapua said was a gay bar. They had a sandwich called "The BB King". I had smoked meat
Go to depannuer, buy a 10% forty and cans of budweiser, which was first "normal" beer I had all weekend
Get back at 6:00 Drank 40 in 20 minutes. Mom phones and I tell her im very drunk
People start hiding my shit on me and I get very upset. My friends are fucking dicks
Start chopping mushrooms. Made $70 bucks on a half-z that cost me 65 (hehe)
Gave Cristina free leftover gram. Bothered her to eat it
Around 10 PM, all my friends are flying, I feel nothing
Go to guys room alone and take a shit. Go on serious downer
Lindsay and Dicapua come back to find me sitting in the chair by myself at 11
Start talking about Ferrone. Shotgunned a Bud in his honor
2 hours later, did one more gram, a line and smoked a joint. Yep, theres the mushrooms
Kept taking walks up and down the hallway alone. Very small hallway
Return to find all 5 people in our room. Me and Lindsay go on "The Crack Walk"
In the elevator, we go up to floor 6 just for fun. Watching numbers change seems like forever
The Crack Walk is very scary. Lots of crackheads roaming the streets
There's a group of people behind us who keep screaming
I notice many people sitting alone in dark places of parks and buildings
Lindsay keeps trying to break into some sort of library/government building. I puke outside
I stop puking and try to keep walking cuz the thought occurs to me that a cop might see me
As soon as I stop and walk away, Lindsay says "Ross theres a cop car"
The cop car makes THREE U-Turns in front of our hotel. I was not in good shape tonight
When we come back Bianca and Dicapua want to go stand across the street and have a cigarette
We saw a guy there the day before without a shirt on obviously intoxicated and talking to a group of people
Noticeable piss stains on stairs, decide to stay standing up
Rob and Cristina both take pictures of us from the window of the rooms
Go back inside at 4:00, Cristina wants to smoke a joint. Me and Lindsay roll a fucking cannon
We burn, then the ladies take off and go to sleep. Everyone lies down. I'm in no mood to do anything
I hear Dicapua talking about this tea-bagging thing. I get up immediately, im not a fan of nuts in the face
While im asleep I accidentally turn over and slap Lindsay in the face. Sleep till 10:30

Wednesday
Wake up and have a smoke. Rob pops up, nods at me and goes back to sleep
Rob and Dicapua wake up at 11:00. Dicapua wants to go get free breakfast. He missed it by 2 hours
Lindsay wakes up and walks around while brushing his teeth. Dicapua pushes him on the bed, he gets pissed
At 12:00 Bianca wants to go eat breakfast. Everyone comes except Cristina
We go to some place across the street, they stopped serving breakfast. I try to speak french with the guy
I decide to walk to the place Bianca told us about the other day called Eggspectation
Its quite a trek away, but I was unwavering in my objective
We get there, I steal a newspaper, read article about Export 'A' cigarette company going bankrupt
I got bagels that were covered in eggs with the yolk sticking out the hole and covered with cheese
They have lots of cool things on the menu
Along with everywhere else in Montreal, you can smoke inside this place
When we're done, I announce that I'm gonna have to shit as soon as we get back
Stopped at a couple sports stores. Told Dicapua he should buy a Carmelo Anthony jersey
Lindsay wants to go to a store called Blaze, but no one hears him except me. He gets pissed
We see at least 200 people walking in a line. Its frosh week. Cars are honking at them and theyre cheering
Stop in hemp shop. Buy a small glass vial to stash powders in and a half-gram of Salvia
Dicapua bought a shirt that says "I Fucked Your Mother"
I told the girl behind the counter they should make a shirt that says "I Fucked Your Daughter" or "I Fucked Your Grandmother"
Get back to hotel room by 3:00, smoke a joint that was 80% tobacco, 20% salvia. Does little except give a warm fuzzy feeling in the chest
Watch Olympics, Simpsons and King of the Hill while preparing to go to the Expos game
Planned to leave at 6:00, didnt leave until 6:30. Get on the subway at 6:55 (5 minutes before game starts)
Stade Olympique isnt far but the subway takes long. Buy 6 $10 tickets. Got free Expos shirt
You can smoke anywhere in Olympic stadium. We missed the first inning. First batter I saw was Alex Cora with 2 outs in Top 2nd
Tony Batista and Juan Rivera hit back-to-back-jacks. I have to explain to Bianca what a foul ball is
Don't take teenage girls to a baseball game. They complain and get bored. But I dont care, I was lovin' it
I promised them we wouldnt go watch anymore Expos games while we're there, a highly convenient remark
Me and Dicapua are pounding back the beers. He finished 4 by the 3rd inning (we got there in the 2nd)
We start yelling at Dodger's CF Steve Finley, he can clearly hear us. People around us pissed
I took my shirt off to try and get on camera when they were doing crowd shots. People above me laughed. Dicapua told them to fuck off
Me, Rob, Lindsay Go do a line in the bathroom in the 4th. Dicapua finds people burning a joint in the hallway
Bianca and Cristina went to try and get a picture with the mascot. He wouldn't do it for them, even though we saw him do it for other people
Still more yelling at Steve Finley. Saying things like "Hey Finley, how are the kids?" or "Hey Finley, I Fucked Your Mother Last Night"
Missed a Brian Schneider homer. More lines during the 7th inning stretch
Some guy in the bathroom talks to us about strip clubs. He's from Montreal but can speak English and said he's been to Skydome
I mentioned before to my friends that I bet Luis Ayala would be put in to pitch in the 8th inning and Chad Cordero the 9th
Ayala came in on schedule but Cordero did not
Finley makes a running behind the back catch. He gets rewarded by a "You Suck Finley!" chant
Adrian Beltre records the last out of the game - OFFICIAL EXPOS GAME SUMMARY
Dicapua and I (moreso him) start chanting "Lets Go Expos" at the top of our lungs. Everyone can hear us
People are going nuts. Some old fat guy stands beside us and chants too. He was also drunk
The final beer count was Dicapua 9, Ross 7, Rob and Lindsay not so much, but they were fucked up on K
Three little kids with there parents start chanting with us too. The parents are more afraid then the kids
Get back on subway, go buy cans of Molson Dry. Shotgun 4 in a row as soon as we get back at 11
Planned to go to some goth club at 12:30. Didn't leave until 1. It's farther then the Peel Pub
I kept looking for the thing but everyone else wanted to turn back. Bianca was in no condition to navigate
At 2:00 arrive at Cafe Chaos, quite possibly the worst bar I've ever been to. There's a guy sitting outside alone drinking
We order 5 beers, myself a hemp beer. Everyone else gets a beer called "Le Fin du Monde". In English thats "The End of The World"
That beer tasted like cheap champagne with sugar in it. The hemp beer had head so thick you could pick it up
At least they were playing punk in there. We asked the bartender to change up the music
I start to get the 2nd worst case of pasties I ever had. Throat killing. Everyone's dreading the walk back
Me and Bianca get seperated from everyone else. She thinks we're gonna get robbed. I tell her not to worry cuz I'm gangsta
Get back to hotel at 3:30. Cristina goes to sleep immediately. We chill in the girls room and do lines
Bianca starts complaining and drops a dish, she should lay off the hard stuff. Lindsay's loving everything thats happening
Dicapua drops on the couch and passes out. He wouldn't move until 8 in the morning
I try to shotgun a beer and puke as soon as I'm done. Bianca is still complaining about her credit card
At 5:00 Me, Lindsay and Rob go back to our room, we tell her to come. She said she'll phone us but she didn't want to come now
She never phoned. 3 down, 3 to go
Me, Rob and Lindsay watch Detroit Rock City, Lindsay complains about his chest hurting and not being able to sleep. Rob crashes
Shortly after me and Lindsay smoke a joint. He falls asleep after that. Congratulations Ross, your the last man standing once again
Fall asleep at 6:00 and sleep till 10:00

Thursday
Wake up and start packing my bag and cleaning up. Don't do anymore drugs or drinking
I get my stereo from the girls' room. Find my mom's Best of The Alan Parsons Project CD still intact
Have to Leave hotel at 12:00 but bus doesnt leave until 2:00. Hit Mcdonalds and stock up for the bus
Everyone gets a combo and small burgers for the road since they were only 59 cents each
I get 3 hamburgers. Lindsay and Rob get 3 cheeseburgers. Dicapua gets 7. He's a fag
It must have been quite a scene for the locals to see us walking down St. Catharines with all our luggage
Get to bus station, I start hacking them down since i now know better. Bianca buys a pack of brain-shaped candy
I kept dropping shit all over the place. I was carrying a 4L jug of water, my stereo, my green duffel bag and a shopping bag
We got the same seats as we did on the way there. Less people on the bus though
Some weird older guy with orange hair and a fucked up nose comes on the bus
He asks a chick if he can sit beside her. She denies him. I felt kinda bad for the guy. He had a family waiting for him though
The ride back didn't seem as long as the ride there. Dicapua is being annoying and pounding back cheeseburgers
We stopped in Scarborough and just like every other time, the people there were looking at me funny
Get back to the T-dot at 8:00 pm. The taxis at the Greyhound station are dicks. They want to overcharge us for a van
Walk to nearest subway station. Still carrying all our shit
Of course the subway we get on needs maintenence. We get off on Glencairn and wait for another bus. Takes a long time
Get to Yorkdale at 9. Van doesnt come for awhile. Everyone is tired of waiting
I say there should be a cab service that has Cadillac Escalades with 24" spinnaz
Back to Rob's. I walk to Lindsay's to get picked up
On the 2 minute walk we see 6 different people we know drive by. Its like they waited for us to get back
Joe Dambrosio is one of those people. All he does is wave and keep going. Everyone else at least stopped. Fucking Bastard
My aunt and twin cousins and grandmother are at my other aunt's house on Lindsay's street. I make myself scarce
Phone momma to come get me. We smoke one last joint. I have to shit bad
Get a Wendy's Bacon Mushroom Melt on the way home. I missed these babies all week
Get home at 10. Take a shit. Watch Everybody Loves Raymond. Fall asleep on couch at 1 AM
Missed a call from Nicole Dinardo minutes later

Summary:
-Bus rides are long and uncomfortable and you cant smoke in the bathroom and they start to smell after awhile
-Montreal has lots of feens and whores
-Most people can speak both French and English. Not too many speak just French
-Everyone in every business establishment we went to began talking to us in French but then realized we were Torontonians
-There's hardly anywhere in Quebec where you cant smoke
-The people really don't care about the Expos. Its a shame there gonna be gone
-Quebec is the reason Canada is viewed as an alcoholic country. They had 40's of Blue in 6.1, 7.1 and 8.1%
-Everything that could go wrong did
-I had planned to make contact with Nas, an acquiantance of mine from Brampton that lives in Montreal. He's a cool non-stereotypical brown guy and can speak the language perfectly and listens to french rap. He worked at special needs camp with my cousin a few years ago but wasn't getting the job this year so I assumed he would be there all summer. Wouldn't you know it though, the day we got there he was already on his way to Brampton to spend the week. He went to see BB King with my cousin. I had gone with him last year to see BB when he was vacationing home and he was also at the Downsview Park Concert with me. He suggested I go to a place called Schwartz cuz they have good smoked meat but no one I asked heard of this place.
-What a fun 4 days