If symptoms persist consult a doctor. Do not try this at home. If ingested drink plenty of water. Do not induce vomiting unless totally hung over in which case induce vomiting - get it over with. Keep out of reach of pets and children - this is good advice for any body, especially actors. Avoid extreme temperatures, its plain common sense. Jokes and articles subject to change without notice. Contents may vary from those shown on the box. Humour is provided as seen, no warranties are implied or given. Not guaranteed to be funny. Stuff! will not accept responsibility for misuse of the humour provided. Your home is at risk if you set fire to it. Laughter may go up or down, written jokes available on request. Offer open to persons over the age of 93 and accompanied by both parents. Subject to status. Valid at participating sites. We will not be beaten on price. If you should find another humour zine with exactly the same jokes for less we will refund you five times the difference. Smoking causes cancer, vigorous sex causes smoking. Most comedians don't smoke. Do not use jokes when the train is stationary. Remain seated until laughter has come to a complete stop. Some of the articles may contain spelling errors and bad grammar, this is due to settlement during transit. If any defects are discovered, do not attempt to read them yourself, but return to an authorised service centre. Contains added Stuff! No salt, no MSG, no preservatives. Printed with recycled bytes. Stuff! is an equal opportunity Zine and takes the opportunity to offend everybody regardless of race, colour, creed or operating system. Articles may contain material that some may find offensive. Some viewers may be disturbed at the sight of bad graphics. Parental guidance advised. If you are easily offended, lighten up. For home use only, use in a well ventilated area - no one can hear you laugh in a vacuum. Stuff! can only improve your humour as part of a healthy diet of comedy. No purchase necessary. If this product fails to satisfy pack it in stout container and repost it at the site where you found it.
Disclaimer does not cover misuse, accident, lightning, flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, hurricanes and other Acts of God, neglect, damage from improper reading, incorrect line voltage, improper or unauthorised reading, broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or altered serial numbers, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, sonic boom vibrations, customer adjustments that are not covered in this list, alien invasion and incidents owing to an airplane crash, ship sinking or taking on water, motor vehicle crashing, dropping the item, falling rocks, leaky roof, broken glass, mud slides, forest fire, or projectile (which can include, but not be limited to, arrows, bullets, shot, BB's, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of X-rays, Alpha, Beta and Gamma rays, knives, stones, etc.); other restrictions may apply even if we haven't thought of them yet. Caveat emptor. E&OE.
Warning: Comedy kills. Just say No.
