Before you read this poem, I would like to give you a little background on it. This poem was written by the members of the Coquitlam Crystals Junior Precision Team (Coquitlam, BC) of which I was a member. 1996 was the last year that Coquitlam had a team. It is about our experience at Canadians that year in Hamilton, and it is not in any way supposed to be taken as a serious poem. Some of the things might not even make sense, but as the poem says "if you don't understand this, then you obviously weren't a member". And I would like to thank Karla, my "Disney on Ice" pal for digging up this little gem!
I remember way back when,
There was a team of the best of friends.
We travelled the country near and far,
by plane, by bus, van and car.
Then one day, low and behold,
to Sections we went and captured the gold. (OK!! So it was silver!)
April Fool's with our spirits high,
we boarded the plane and said goodbye.
We landed in Toronto at three o'clock,
then we hopped on the bus in one big flock.
To our hotel we did go,
"Are our rooms ready?" and they said "NO!"
We blew a spaz and almost cried,
to Karla's room we went and died.
Four hours later and half awake,
to the scheduled practice, what a big mistake!
The very next morning, bright and early,
we all ate breakfast, and felt kinda hurly.
On the way to Niagra we got lost,
But a couple of hours was all it cost.
When we finally got there, it began to snow,
but oh what a gift shop - woh, Woh, WOH!
To Wendy's we went in search of food,
and Amy's creation was down right rude!
In the vans again we were forced to sit,
at the rink Amy fell, hurt her knee, and yelled "****!"
In a conference room full of chicks,
they played homey music and we said "This Licks!"
So much for the "beach" party, we had to leave,
to another practice to help us achieve.
After the short we were in third,
to celebrate Amy's birthday, we called her a turd.
The very next day we skated the long,
to the Canadian Championships did we now belong.
Back at the hotel, the toilet grunted and groaned,
in bed, Corinne and Karla, bounced and moaned?!?
The TV we watched all night long,
Dave Grohl, his band, and that stupid song!
The very next day, we went back to the rink,
driving through Hamilton, oh man, did it stink!
We skated the short and finished with a smile.
Back at the hotel, Amy packed up her pile.
Later that night, Amy and Marianne did their homey dance.
Natalie ran down the hall and her bra fell out her pants.
Our brassieres were hung from the doorway with care,
in hopes the guys from Pennsylvania soon would be there.
The door slammed shut by the fault of Natalie.
"Oh man," she said, "I have to go pee!"
And then the next day, we left the hotel for good,
to do the long the way we knew we could.
We were good sports, but some of the others were rude,
we went to compete and man we got screwed.
We skated slow and Quebec skated fast,
the only good thing was that we didn't come last.
We coughed and we hacked and we sneezed from our noses,
the bus we boarded to the plane somehow smelled like roses.
Then it was onto the plane to soar through the sky,
when it started to land, Nat and Karla began to cry.
The bus was too warm and so was the air,
so Anita commenced to gnaw on our hair.
We rode on the bus without a peep,
we finally got our hard earned sleep.
If you don't understand this, you obviously weren't a member,
and this is our poem entitled "I Remember."
