October 18, 2007

Recap by Sassy

Comments by Sassy in italics.

First iMPACT since the Bound for Glory pay per view..

Our opener is a video recap of Bound for Glory.

And then we go to – who else – JB backstage with Kurt Angle and the Mrs. where Kurt is complaining about his loss of the championship to Sting at Bound for Glory.  He is blaming Kevin Nash for the loss and JB tells Kurt that Sting was going to kill Kurt without Nash’s help.  Kurt threatens Nash and then threatens Sting. Kurt is going to wrestle Sting for the championship tonight and no one will be there to help Sting. The Mrs. tells Kurt he can’t beat Sting without Nash’s help. Kurt then throws JB and the Mrs. out.

Welcome to the iMPACT Zone!

IMPACT is being broadcast from Universal Studio in Orlando, FL on Spike TV.

Ring announcers: Mike Tenay and Don West

Backstage interviews: Jeremy Borash (JB) and Crystal Loutham

Tenay tells everyone that three new champions were crowed at Bound for Glory:

Gail Kim, the first TNA Women’s Knockout Champion

AJ Styles and Tomko, new TNA Tag Team Champions


Sting, new TNA World Champion

The title belts will be presented to the winners tonight.

We hear – and I am not overly enthusiastic – Kurt Angle’s entrance theme and here comes none other than Kurt…again. Isn’t there anyone else in the locker room that has something to say besides Kurt? Kurt has a mic in hand, naturally. Kurt and the Mrs. are there to call out Sting in order to challenge Sting for a rematch for the title belt. The audience informs Kurt “You SucK”. The crowd is chanting N W O and Kurt says he doesn’t even know what that stands for, but to Kurt it means Number One Zero??? Kurt again threatens Nash and Kevin Nash comes to the arena. Nash comes down the ramp to the ring area. We see a video recap of the Sting/Angle match at Bound for Glory. Kurt does what Kurt does best and that’s hide behind the Mrs. Nash also has a mic and tells Kurt to say what he needs to say to Nash’s face. Kurt tells Nash if it wasn’t for Nash, Kurt would still be the champion. Nash reminds Kurt that Sting was kicking Kurt’s butt and Nash says the only reason he came out was because Nash felt sorry for Kurt. Nash says he is giving Kurt one chance to apologize to him. Kurt says he is not sorry and that Nash has been riding Kurt’s coattails ever since Kurt became champion and continues to insult Nash. Nash says Kurt doesn’t have a fight with Sting tonight, Kurt has a fight with Nash. Kurt attacks Kurt but Nash sends Kurt down to the mat with a jackknife. You go Kevin – at least you shut Kurt up. No one else seems to be able to do that.

Commercial break.

Back from commercial break, we see a promo for the Genesis pay per view scheduled for November 11, 2007.

Back in the iMPACT Zone, we see a replay of Nash taking out Kurt in the middle of the ring. We are in the back with JB, Kurt and the Mrs. Kurt is complaining that his back hurts and the Mrs. wants to know what she is going to do if Sting grants Kurt a rematch tonight. She says he needs to make up with Nash and Kurt asks JB what Nash likes.  JB says Nash likes porn. Kurt tells the Mrs. to run down to the local store and pick up a big stack of porn magazines. Kurt says that he will tell Nash that it was just a big joke.

Fight for the Right Tournament:

1 – Eric Young

6 – James Storm

4 – Lance Hoyt

5 – Kaz

2 – Robert Roode

7 – Junior Fatu

3 – Alex Shelley

6 – Chris Sabin

Chris Sabin, from Detroit, MI, Motor City Machineguns


Alex Shelley, from Detroit, MI, Motor City Machineguns

Actual match time: 30 seconds

WinnerWe don’t have a clue because someone forgot to lock the door and Team 3D got into the building and stopped the match.

I have to tell you that I was excited about this match. As great as these two work together I can’t imagine them opposing each other. They are both marvelous in the ring and I wouldn’t want to have to take a guess at who is going to win this match. They do shake hands before the match and then it is on! They are so busy countering each other’s moves in the opening seconds of this match, you wonder if two hours will be long enough for either of them to get the pin.

As Don West would say, “You have GOT to be kidding me!” -- Brother Ray of Team 3D enters the arena with mic in hand running off his mouth and stopping the action in the ring. Where is Nash when we need him or, better yet, The Steiner Brothers? Ray continues by telling Sabin and Shelley how terrible they are and Brother Devon enters the ring and attacks them from behind. Obviously The Steiner Brothers obviously didn’t beat hard enough on Ray and Devon at Bound for Glory. Ray and Devon attack Sabin and Shelley, the ref rings the bell trying to stop the match – that’ll do it ref, no joke – and we know the reaction of Team 3D is the interference by the Motor City Machineguns during Team 3D’s match with The Steiners that got Rick and Scott the final fall they needed to win at Bound for Glory. While the ref stands on the ring apron frantically waving his arms, Ray beats on Sabin and Shelley with the famous belt we saw at Bound for Glory. Ray calls for Devon to get the tables and Devon complies. Ray declares that Team 3D is going to single handedly destroy the X Division. You know I think Ray would be loud enough without the mic. The tables are up in the ring. Ray sends Shelley through a table and Sabin is sent through a table by Devon. I do like Team 3D but fans worldwide would like to know how Sabin and Shelley would have fared against each other in this match.

JB is in Jim Cornette’s office with Cornette and Matt Morgan. Cornette is yelling that he can’t have one tournament around here without the burrito brothers coming out and screwing everything up for the very first match. Cornette wants to know what he is going to do now in the Fight for the Right tournament but is interrupted when Christian Cage enters his office with – a ladder. Now that’s the Christian Cage we all know and love! Christian says there is spot open in the Fight for the Right tournament and Christian is going to fill it.  Christian says he should be the number one contender anyway. Christian says he is going to do it his way and his way is a ladder match. Enter Samoa Joe and Cornette wants to know what Joe wants. Please note that Christian has put the ladder between himself and Joe. Joe says he wants the last spot in the tournament but Christian tells him, from behind the ladder of course, that Joe is too late. Christian threatens Joe, Joe reaches through the latter, Matt gets in the middle to break it up and we see…

Commercial break.

Back from commercial break, Tenay is backstage with Glen Gilbertti, previously with WCW as the Disco Inferno.  Glen wrestled earlier in TNA. Tenay says the movie, The Comeback, coincides with the comeback of Glen and that his wrestling comeback may be considered a parody, however, Glen says that it will not be a parody. Glen says he doesn’t need TNA, TNA needs him.

Talia Madison, from The Big Apple


Awesome Kong, 6’1”, weighing 272 3/8 lbs., residing in Tokyo, Japan

Actual match time: 2 minutes, 10 seconds

Winner: Awesome Kong with a pin and a three count.

It’s difficult to take Madison as a serious wrestler when she is too concerned that everyone in the audience notice her backside as she enters the ring. Kong, on the other hand, doesn’t even notice the audience on her way to the ring. I’m certain this match is over before it starts. And it’s one, two, three -- Madison is down for the count.

JB is in the back with Kevin Nash and in the middle of Nash’s conversation with JB, who should show up but Kurt’s Mrs. wanting to talk to Nash. Nash doesn’t want to talk to her. He walks away and we go to…

Commercial break.

Back from commercial break, we see a promo of Instant Classic: The Best of Christian Cage, which will be available Tuesday on DVD.

Crystal is backstage with Wildcat Chris Harris and The War Machine Rhino who will be facing Robert Roode and Cowboy James Storm tonight. Rhino comes in and Wildcat tells Rhino that if they are going to be tag team partners they should be doing things at the same time and they should have showed up for the interview together. Wildcat then tells Rhino to try and stay sober tonight. Rhino grabs Wildcat’s arm and asks him if he has a problem and Wildcat laughs and tells him the fight is out there. Doesn’t look good for Wildcat and Rhino, does it?

Cowboy James Storm, from TN

accompanied to the ring by The Pride of Tennessee Miss Jackie Moore


Robert Roode, from Wall Street in Manhattan, NY

accompanied to the ring by his CEO, Miss Brooks


Wildcat Chris Harris, from Fort Wright, KY


The War Machine Rhino, from Detroit, MI

Actual match time: 5 minutes, 43 seconds

Winners: Robert Roode and Cowboy James Storm when Roode gets the payoff on Wildcat.

Everyone should know by now who my favorites in this match are and the fact that Wildcat and Rhino are already fighting amongst themselves. I have a feeling I’m not going to like this match. Tenay and West bring up Rhino’s involvement in The Monster’s Ball at Bound for Glory and his crash through the wall. All four of these guys can brawl in a match and as much as I pick on Roode, he is a great ring talent. Rhino helps Wildcat to his feet but Wildcat is not happy. Wildcat may not be making waves as a baby face, but I don’t think he’s up to the task of becoming the bad guy either. Maybe a little of each is what his character requires.

JB is backstage with Kaz. JB congratulates Kaz for qualifying in the Fight for the Right tournament. Kaz believes he is going to be fighting for the right for gold.

Commercial break.

Back from commercial break, Tenay and Cornette are in the ring with the championship belts. They are going to make the presentation of the championship belts to the Bound for Glory winners.

We hear Black Machismo Jay Lethal’s music and he enters the arena. Lethal retained his championship at Bound for Glory and West says he doesn’t know why Lethal is in the ring. Cornette tells Lethal he is not a new champion but since they didn’t get a chance to congratulate Lethal on his win, they congratulate him now. Lethal gives the audience an “Oh Yeah!” Tenay says that the history maker at Bound for Glory will be the first recipient.

Gail Kim, who won the first TNA Knockout Championship, enters the arena. Gail receives her belt and the applause of the audience. I really like the Women’s belt – not crazy about the Knockout name thing, but I like the belt. Gail thanks the fans and accepts the belt.

We go next to the TNA Tag Team champions, The Phenomenal AJ Styles and Tomko. Christian Cage comes along with the new tag team champs. Cornette presents them with their championship belts. Tomko tells AJ that he did a great job and then gives the mic to AJ who has a list. He wants to thank several people and gets started before Christian grabs the mic and tells Tomko and AJ they should both be thanking Christian for their title belts.  Cornette wants to know why Christian is out there when he isn’t even a champion. Christian says that they can’t have a night of champions without the real champ – Christian. Christian says he isn’t asking Cornette anymore, Christian is telling Cornette that Christian wants the final spot in the Fight for the Right tournament and Christian wants it tonight. Cornette says that Christian wants the spot and so does Samoa Joe. Cornette says the only fair thing to do is to give both Joe and Christian the Right to Fight for the Right to Fight for the Right so that is what Cornette is going to do. It will be Christian and Joe one on one. The winner of tonight’s match gets to fill the final spot in the Fight for the Right tournament. That match will be coming up next.

The last winner of a championship match is Sting and he is next to receive his title belt. Sting enters the arena. Standing ovation from the crowd as Sting enters the ring. Cornette says he has known Sting for the 21 years he has been in the business and he presents Sting with the title belt. Sting tells everyone he’s still got it. Tenay asks Sting if he is going to accept the challenge from Kurt tonight to defend his title. Sting says he will ask the fans and they say yes.  Sting says “It’s Showtime! One more time.”

And here comes Kurt to the ring. Again. But Kurt shows up in a wheelchair at the top of the entrance ramp with a mic in hand and assistants to help him roll the chair down the ramp. Kurt tells Sting that he was brutally attacked by Kevin Nash earlier tonight and Kurt has a doctor’s note that says he can’t compete tonight due to serious trauma of the spinal cord. Kurt says he will take Sting up on his offer next week at iMPACT. Sting asks if Kurt’s Mommy signed the note and tells Kurt to bring the wheelchair next week because he will  need it when Sting gets through with him.

We see Glen Gilbertti in the locker room and West says that tonight Glen will make his big comeback.

We go to commercial break.

Back from commercial break, we see a promo for TNA’s Hard Justice DVD available now.

JB is back stage with Kurt and the Mrs. once again. Kurt is whining because he is afraid that Sting is going to hurt him and now Kurt wants to find Kevin and get him back on his side for next week.

Fight for the Right Tournament Line Up – Sabin and Shelley are out, which I think is a big load of You Know What. They are just as much championship material as anyone else on the TNA roster.

1 – Eric Young

6 – James Storm

4 – Lance Hoyt

5 - Kaz

2 – Robert Roode

7 – Junior Fatu


Samoa Joe

Christian Cage

Lance Hoyt, from Dallas, TX

accompanied to the ring by Christy Hemme & Jimmy Rave


Kaz, from Anaheim, CA

Actual match time: 4 minutes, 3 seconds

Winner: Kaz after a cover and a three count thanks to interference by Hemme.

The audience favorite appears to be Kaz and, although I like Lance, I’m a fan of Kaz as well. The difference between the two wrestlers is obvious. Kaz is a high flier while Lance uses brute strength to carry him through a match. After having seen Jimmy Rave in action I am surprised TNA isn’t using him with the abilities he has. Rave and Kaz could have had one heck of a match. Rave and Hemme manage to fight on the ring apron and Kaz takes the opportunity to deliver a punch sending Rave out to the guardrail but Hemme gets herself into the ring much to the dismay of Lance. Kaz has turned into quite the ladies man and he sets Hemme up for a big smooch, which sets Lance off. Hemme falls to the mat and Lance loses courtesy of Hemme.

Crystal is backstage with Crazy Legs Connie who is the champion of major league eating, which is coming up right after TNA. No offense, I think I’ll pass.

Crystal says speaking of chowing down and enter Junior Fatu. Fatu tells Crazy Legs to set up the buffet and Junior Fatu will shut it down. Fatu says that next week when he faces Roode, he will come out the winner.

Commercial break.

Back from commercial break, we are backstage – again with JB, Kurt in his wheelchair and the Mrs. who are going to see Black Reign.  Kurt refuses to go, JB refuses to go so the Mrs. goes in to talk to Black Reign about whether or not he has seen Kevin Nash. Black Reign produces Misty, which sends the Mrs. and JB running, leaving Kurt alone in the wheelchair. It’s a domestic rat, ya’ll, not a hungry lion.

The Disco Inferno, from Brooklyn, NY


The Monster Abyss, 6’8”, weighing 350, lbs.

Actual match time: 53 seconds

Winner: Abyss with a black hole slam, a pin and a three count.

What a terrible way to begin a comeback to TNA. Of the entire roster available, to pull Abyss on your first match you have to believe someone has it out for Inferno. It was impossible to judge Inferno’s ring ability when pairing him with someone so much larger and stronger.

After the match, guess who shows up to take Abyss but Black Reign, James Mitchell and the poor little rat, Misty. And, in the general bad taste of TNA in this instance, Abyss is handcuffed to the ropes, puts Misty in bag and puts the bag over Abyss’s head. I’m sure Misty was thrilled to be in a bag over the sweaty bleeding head of Abyss.  If I was Abyss, I’d be worried Misty would bite out of fear. Stupid move, TNA.  Really stupid move. Black Reign licks Misty, which may be dangerous for Misty.  Domestic rats are not immune to certain human illnesses.

I have trouble believing all of these people are really that afraid of a little domestic rat.

Commercial break.

Back from commercial break, we see a Bound for Glory video recap telling everyone that the pay per view is available for the rest of the month.

We go back to the back, this time the parking lot, with JB, Kurt and the Mrs. Nash is getting into his car and leaving.  Kurt falls getting out of his wheelchair as he tries to stop Nash from leaving. The car drives off and Kurt screams that he will buy Kevin porn. This has not been impressive.

The Instant Classic Christian Cage, from Tampa, FL, by way of Ontario, Canada


The Samoan Submission Machine Samoa Joe, from American Samoa

Actual match time: 5 minutes, 30 seconds before the commercial break

                                7 minutes, 15 seconds after the commercial break

                                                 = 12 minutes, 45 seconds

According to Tenay, the action continued during the commercial break but I did not count commercial time. Six minutes into the second part of the match, AJ and Tomko hit the ring; Matt hit the ring to take out Tomko and Roode showed up at the end to take out Joe with a chair.

Winner: Christian Cage with help from Tomko, AJ Styles, Robert Roode, and a steel chair.

Commercial break in the MIDDLE of the match!

If you saw Bound for Glory, you know what a great match these two managed. For them to go right back in the ring to pound on each other right away is unreal and their stamina alone leaves me awestruck. I’m about to knock TNA booking again. I thought the match held at Bound for Glory would put the winner in line for the title.  Not that I mind watching Christian and Joe go after each other in the ring but by now they should be great as a tag team. They should know what the other is thinking right away from the number of matches they have had together. Joe has been around too long and is far too good in the ring to be constantly treated as a fall guy for Christian and Christian is too talented to want to be in the ring against the same opponent all of the time. Give these two some actual matches, TNA, and let them strut their stuff against other TNA roster members.

Samoa Joe didn’t have his Samoan dancers this time.  They did a great job at Bound for Glory and I don’t think I mentioned that on the Bound for Glory recap.

We are now down to

1 – Eric Young

I’d like to see Eric get a chance at a championship match, but I’ll bet it doesn’t happen.

6 – James Storm

Storm is good and I think he might be able to pull this one off.

5 – Kaz

As much as I like Kaz in the ring, I’m betting he doesn’t make it in.

2 – Robert Roode

Roode is another one that might be able to pull it off.

7 – Junior Fatu

Not guessing on this one, Fatu is not only big,  he’s good in the ring.

Wildcard – Christian Cage

If I was a gambler, I would put money on Christian getting the shot at the title belt.

If I did my math correctly, TNA iMPACT viewers saw a total of 26 minutes of actual wrestling in tonight’s two-hour show with the longest match being Christian Cage versus Samoa Joe.

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