WWE Monday Night Raw
October
1, 2007
Recap by
Sassy
Comments by Sassy in
italics
This is the first
week wrestlers who were suspended for thirty days can return to their respective
WWE shows. You can bet your last cent WWE isn't going to announce that!
Monday Night Raw is being
broadcast from Cleveland, OH.
Announcers:
Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler
Ring
Announcer: Lillian Garcia
Backstage
Interviews: Todd Grisham
We are reminded that
WWE’s No Mercy pay per view will be this Sunday.
We open with three unknown
men wearing wrestling attire who are already in the ring.
We hear Vince McMahon’s music and McMahon enters the arena. McMahon
says that tonight an event equal to a WrestleMania event will take place.
In one corner will be Triple H and in the opposite corner will be the
greatest physical specimen in all of mankind, McMahon. McMahon guarandamtees us
that the winner of the match will be Mr. McMahon. McMahon then says actions
speak louder than words and we see a recap of McMahon’s ring history – the
one with him winning, of course.
Each man represents
different wrestling styles:
The smallest of the three
is a Lee High University 4 time All American Wrestling Champion
The second is a Fifth
Degree Kendo Karate champion
The largest man is the Ohio
State Sumo Champion
McMahon says that there is
going to be a demonstration of what is going to happen to Triple H tonight
“right here in whatever name this town is”.
McMahon takes off his jacket and then suddenly decides that rather than
McMahon demonstrating what he is going to do to Triple H tonight, he was going
to call upon someone else to demonstrate exactly what he is going to do this
Sunday at No Mercy. Umaga enters
the arena, the ring, and cleans the ring out.
Umaga has returned
from his thirty-day suspension.
Commercial break.
Back from commercial break,
Six Man Tag Team Match
Paul
London, Brian Kendrick &
Jeff
Hardy, the Intercontinental Champion
at a
combined weight of 594 lbs.
Vs.
Shelton
Benjamin &
Lance
Cade & Trevor Murdoch
The World
Tag Team Champions
at a
combined weight of 780 lbs.
Audience favorites: Paul
London, Brian Kendrick & Jeff Hardy
My favorites: Paul
London, Brian Kendrick & Jeff Hardy
Winners: Jeff Hardy,
Paul London & Brian Kendrick after Jeff delivers with a Swanton
bomb, pins Lance Cade and gets the three count.
It may not be fair for
me to recap a WWE show after watching the pay per view I watched last night.
London, Kendrick and Jeff are agile, quick and excellent in the ring. Benjamin can be fast and is very good in the ring.
I’m a big Murdoch fan and Cade does well in the ring.
Most of the highflying maneuvers in this match were London, Kendrick and
Jeff.
We go backstage to find
William Regal on his cell phone. McMahon shows up to give Regal a big hug and
welcome back. McMahon tells Regal that Coach is under the weather tonight.
Regal tells McMahon that tonight it will be John Cena versus Mr. Kennedy.
McMahon asks Regal a personal favor and asks him to look after his son tonight
– but it isn’t Shane, it’s Hornswoggle.
McMahon tells Regal he will hold Regal personally responsible for
Hornswoggle’s actions tonight and when Regal turns back around, Hornswoggle is
gone.
William Regal is back
from his thirty-day suspension.
We see a recap of the John
Cena/Randy Orton feud, including John Cena’s father.
Commercial break.
Back from commercial break.
JR tells us that Randy
Orton is joining us tonight live via satellite from Chicago, IL. JR asks Orton
why he isn’t in the arena especially since he Orton will be facing Cena in a
Last Man Standing Match Sunday. Orton said he is waiting for Cena in Chicago
because he doesn’t want to be around Cena in Cena’s state of mind.
They show the footage of Orton kicking Cena’s father in the head and
the match with Orton and Cena’s father. We
are shown the same film clips at Orton’s request.
We are told some of the
Cleveland Indians Baseball team are in the audience.
We then go to the Divas
search competition.
We then see Regal searching
for Hornswoggle backstage. Regal asks the Highlanders if they have seen
Hornswoggle. Regal then asks the Highlanders why they turned down a match with
Cade & Murdoch tonight. They say it is because they didn’t want the match.
The only match they want is a world
tag team championship match. They
say they got a lot of criticism for what they did last Monday night on Raw. The
Highlanders came to the WWE with one purpose and that was to be the world tag
team champions and they were going to do that whether Regal liked it or not.
Commercial break.
Back from commercial break.
Cody
Rhodes, weighing 232 lbs., from Charlotte, NC
Vs.
Hardcore
Holly, weighing 243 lbs., from Mobile, AL
Audience favorite: I’m
not sure
My favorite: I like them
both but Holly has much more ring experience
Winner: Hardcore Holly with
the Alabama slam, the pin and the three count
These two work well as
opponents. We actually saw wrestling moves in this short match.
Commercial break.
Back from commercial break.
Beth Phoenix is introduced
and comes to the ring, taking the mic from Lillian. Beth says she is just as beautiful as she is dangerous and it
is just a matter of time before she becomes the women’s champion. Beth says
she wants Lillian to announce the Glamazon as the new women’s champion.
Lillian does as Beth asks the says that is assuming she can beat Candice
Michelle on Sunday. Beth then decides to beat up Lillian but Candice Michelle
comes in for the save.
We se Triple H backstage
wrapping his arms for his upcoming match and then we see a recap of Umaga
beating up the three unknown men in the opening of the show.
Commercial break.
Back from commercial break.
Vincent
Kennedy McMahon, the Chairman of World Wrestling Entertainment
Vs.
Triple H,
weighing 255 lbs., from Greenwich, CT
Before Triple H is
introduced, McMahon shows a film clip of Triple H taking out Umaga – right
before Umaga had to leave to serve his thirty-day suspension.
Audience favorite:
It isn’t Mr. McMahon
My favorite: It isn’t
Mr. McMahon
Winner: Mr. McMahon
due to disqualification. Triple H
beat up the ref, too.
There is no referee in the
ring and McMahon yells that he wants a referee right now, he wants it to be
legal and he doesn’t care who the ref is.
We hear Carlito’s music and Carlito enters the ring in his wrestling
trunks and a referee’s shirt. And it quickly turns into us watching a match
where McMahon avoids Triple H like the plague. We didn’t need Umaga to
interfere, we had Carlito to interfere. Thank heavens for the first two matches.
Umaga makes his way to the ring after the match is over so Triple H and Umaga
can duke it out in the middle of the ring.
I think Umaga is mad at
Carlito since he decides to assist Triple H by knocking Triple H out of the ring
and allowing Triple H to get his hands on the sledgehammer.
Winner of the second part
of this match: Triple H after Umaga gets out of the ring and out of the way of
the sledgehammer.
Commercial break.
Back from commercial break.
There are two director’s
chairs in the ring and we hear Santino Marella’s music.
Marella and Marella enter the ring.
This segment is called “Marella at the Movies”. Marella is going to
interview the number one action DVD out today called “The Condemned”. Maria
tells Marella likes Stone Cold and she thought the movie was a lot of fun.
Marella says the movie could have been great with a star, someone like
Santino Marella. We see film clips
from the movie. Marella says when it comes to Austin’s acting, we are all
Condemned. I hope WWE makes its
money back in a hurry. I’m tired
of The Condemned push every week versus actual wrestling.
We hear Val Venis and he
enters the arena. Marella says this has nothing to do with Val Venis and that
Marella is always being interrupted. Venis
says that as the star of many movies in his day, he happens to know a thing or
two about acting talent. Venis says he is starring in a sequel to the movie, Mr.
Woodcock and wants to know if Maria is interested.
Marella tries to get Maria out of the ring and Venis tells her that Maria
can either star in a movie with Venis or star in a movie of Marella’s
lovemaking skills, you know, Super Bad. Marella
attacks Venis and works over Venis’s bad leg before leaving the ring.
What?
Austin couldn’t show up to defend himself and had to send Val Venis to
do it instead. Okay, I’d rather
see Venis, but Austin should be ashamed of himself.
We go backstage to Todd
Grisham and he tells us his guest at this time is the WWE Champion, John Cena.
Grisham says that everyone says Cena is not himself these days and that Orton
has already won. Cena, on the other hand, says that Orton is not going to win
anything at No Mercy. Cena says he will beat Randy Orton so bad “they” will
never forget it.
Commercial break.
Back from commercial break,
we get a No Mercy promo.
Melina,
from Los Angeles, CA
Vs.
Mickie
James, from Lynchburg, VA
Audience favorite:
Mickie James
My favorite: Mickie
James. She has wrestling talent
– sorry Melina
Winner: Mickie James
after Hornswoggle appears and unnerves Melina
Before Mickie is
introduced, we see a film clip of Hornswoggle stealing Melina’s towel last
week. After the match, Melina goes under the ring after Hornswoggle. Hornswoggle comes out with part of Melina’s outfit.
Hornswoggle goes back under the ring and reappears with the other part of
Melina’s outfit. Hornswoggle runs up the ramp and out of the arena with
Melina’s clothes.
Commercial break.
Back from commercial break.
Regal finds Hornswoggle
with Melina’s clothes and takes them away causing Hornswoggle to have a
tantrum. Enter Dr. Steve-O of
Jackass fame – why not, we can’t seem to get any wrestling here anyway –
who says he is there looking for wooses to turn into real men but he doesn’t
want cross dressers. Hornswoggle disappears again and leaves Regal with
Melina’s clothes.
Steve-O is backstage and
stops to talk to Ron Simmons and says that Ron is bad but he thinks Ron could be
badder and Steve could make Ron more manly.
Ron stands up and throws Steve-O through the nearest door before saying
“Damn”!
John Cena,
weighing 240 lbs., from MA
Vs.
Commercial break before the
second introduction.
Back from commercial break.
Just back
from his thirty-day suspension – after previously proclaiming to the
world he never took drugs
Mr.
Kennedy, weighing 245 lbs., from Green Bay, WI
Audience favorite:
John Cena
My favorite: John Cena,
not busted, no suspension, didn't go around blabbing he was innocent.
Winner: John Cena
with a submission hold and Kennedy taps out.
Kennedy wastes more time
introducing himself than he does wrestling, then we have a commercial break in
the middle of the match. Orton
shows up at the end of the match and RKO’s Cena. Orton’s the guy that was on
the Signature Pharmacy list who didn’t get suspended. The shortest match in history that could have been great but
turned into a joke.
Orton doesn’t appear
to be an audience favorite.
And before we leave,
Steve-O is back again and Ron does
us a favor by again tossing him out of the door.
Thank you, Ron. Maybe if
they put you back in the ring we could watch wrestling.
WWE SMACKDOWN / SEPTEMBER 28
Wrestling Bodyslam . Com