Comments by Sassy in
This is the night
Kristal and Teddy Long tie the knot. You will excuse me if I don’t spend a lot
of time and type recapping the ceremony. WWE
has done the wedding gimmick before. From Stephanie to Lita, I can’t get
overly excited about these phony nuptials.
Smackdown opens with Maria
and the Ying Yang twins for the season premier of Friday Night Smackdown, along
with Vince McMahon and Jonathan Coachman. Maria asks about McMahon’s son and
McMahon says he doesn’t know where his son is, but he knows where his son is
not and that is at Smackdown.
This is the first Smackdown
Smackdown is being
broadcast from Atlanta, GA.
Michael Cole and John Bradshaw Layfield
Ring Announcer: Tony
We hear Batista’s music
and he enters the arena with his World Heavyweight Title belt in hand. Batista
won the title by pinning The Great Kahli in a three-way match at Unforgiven: The
Great Khali vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Batista. Batista comes out to address the crowd
dressed in his suit. Batista tells everyone that Khali has exercised the rematch
clause in his contract and it will Batista vs. Khali at No Mercy in a Punjabi
We hear Mark Henry’s
music and Henry enters the ring, mic in hand. Henry tells Batista that he could
care less about the celebration Batista is having and he could care less about
the Punjabi Prison match at No Mercy. Henry
does care about next week when the Undertaker returns to Smackdown for a match
against Mark Henry, the World’s Strongest man. Henry says he is going to end
Undertaker’s career. Henry says
he may need a warm up this week, but he won’t take a shot at the Batista’s
newly held title. Henry says
everyone knows if Henry wants the belt he will take it whenever he wants it.
Batista tells Henry he is as stupid as he is ugly and the last time Batista
checked, Undertaker had taken Henry down at Unforgiven.
Batista tells Henry if he wants a match tonight, he can have one.
Back from commercial break,
Maria is backstage with Ying, Yang, and Jeff Hardy, the Intercontinental
Champion – Jeff is in a suit! Jeff does a dance for the audience.
Jeff Hardy cleans up
really nice folks.
Wang Yang, weighing 206 lbs, from GA
Noble, weighing 202 lbs., from Hanover, WV
Audience Favorite: Jimmy
My Favorite: Jamie Noble
Winner: Jimmy Wang Yang
with a roll up and a three count.
Shannon Moore distracted
Noble by pretending to be Hornswoggle in the audience.
Jimmy Wang Yang is very
good in the ring but Jamie Noble has been my favorite for a long time. He is a
great heel and throws some great tantrums.
We are backstage with MVP
and a football. Matt Hardy walks up behind MVP and asks if MVP is going to throw
the ball or what. MVP throws the
football and hits the target. Matt picks up the football and hits the same
target. Matt throws again and hits
the target again. MVP intercepts
the football and MVP says he can’t help himself, MVP is a world class
weighing 248 lbs., from Miami, FL
Champion and United States Champion
Hardy, weighing 236 lbs., from Cameron, NC
to the ring by Cherry
Audience Favorites: MVP
and Matt Hardy
My Favorites: MVP and
Winners: Deuce and
Domino due to interference by MVP and Matt gets pinned.
This team of MVP and
Matt Hardy are great. I like both
of them as individual wrestlers and, with the exception of Jeff Hardy, Matt is
hard to top, but together they are not only good in the ring, they are a great
comedy team. Deuce and Domino are a
good team in the ring but they don’t have the experience of the MVP/Hardy
We are backstage with Teddy
and the Reverend Bruce Bruce, as well as Teddy’s best men and Teddy’s
Rey Mysterio comes to the
ring for his first interview since returning from a knee injury. Michael Cole
conducts the interview. Rey wants everyone to know how good it feels to be back
on Smackdown and with his fans. He came close to winning the title in his match
with Khali and Batista. He wants to congratulate Batista on winning the title,
but Rey says he will again become world champion. Rey discusses the I Quit match
that put Rey out of action due to a knee injury. Rey says he didn’t gain
revenge over Chavo, it was redemption. JBL gets up and tells Cole that he will
handle the interview. JBL says he won’t ask softball questions like Cole does.
JBL makes fun of Rey’s mask and his Mexico tattoo. JBL says Rey is a disgrace
to this country and a disgrace to this show. Rey says he is the one that retired
JBL. JBL throws his hat down. Rey asks JBL he wants to fight. Rey says he will
fight JBL. JBL takes off his jacket and his shirt.
JBL says he can’t wrestle due to his contract as an announcer he
isn’t allowed to beat up the super stars. JBL says since he can’t fight,
Finlay will fight for JBL.
Finlay enters the ring and
we have a Rey Mysterio Vs. Finlay match. Finlay takes the mic and hits Rey in
the head with it. Rey hits the mat
and that was the beginning and the end of the match.
You taking out Chavo was
not redemption, Rey, it was suspension.
Chavo was suspended for being on the Signature Pharmacy
client list. WWE needs to knock off
treating the fans like they all suffer from memory loss and treating the
wrestlers who violated the WWE “wellness policy” like they are heroes. Don’t
treat Chavo’s fake injury like it’s a legitimate match.
We see a recap of
Unforgiven matches and the Cena/Orton feud from Monday Night Raw.
Back from commercial break,
we have a recap of the diva search and then we are with the wedding party
backstage, this time Kristal and her wedding party with Jagged Edge.
Henry, weighing 392 lbs., from TX
weighing 290 lbs., from Washington, DC
My Favorite: Batista
Winner: I don’t know,
I just heard the bell ring, no winner was announced.
The Great Khali enters the
arena during the match and Batista goes after Khali and then goes after Henry
who has left the ring.
It is unfair of me to
pick Batista as a favorite, but I do like Batista.
Mark Henry is big, strong, and capable of winning by sheer force alone.
Back from commercial break,
it is wedding time.
Reverend Bruce Bruce is
introduced before all of the celebrities enter the ring, including WWE Hall of
Hornswoggle comes out from
under the ring and brings a chair and a phone book to sit down beside McMahon
Kristal falls down the
steel steps getting into the ring. Teddy
has to go out and help her in.
As the Reverend gets
started, Jillian Hall comes out to complain about Jagged Edge’s performance
and tells everyone she is going to sing an original song for the wedding. Two of
the female guests corral and carry Jillian out of the arena.
Hornswoggle spends his time
during the wedding hassling Coach until McMahon gets up and corrects him.
The audience sends up
chants of Hornswoggle.
The Reverend then asks for
objections to the wedding. The Godfather comes out with his hos. The hos are
better looking than they were the last time the Godfather graced the ring.
Hornswoggle is impressed by the girls. Godfather reminds Teddy of the fun
they used to have. Godfather said they didn’t come all the way to the arena
for nothing, so he looks for volunteers. Ron
holds up his hand but Kristal yells at him and Ron says “Damn!” and stays
Godfather as for more volunteers and the WWE men who are attending the wedding
as guests suddenly become volunteers.
Godfather leaves and takes
everyone, including JBL with him. Poor Ron is forced to stay in the ring. Teddy
tells the Reverend to get to the “I Dos” now.
Hornswoggle and Coach
can’t behave in the front row of guest seats.
Hornswoggle runs into the ring, with Coach behind him, then McMahon and
Coach chase Hornswoggle out of the arena.
Kristal says I Do, but
Teddy faints and they bring out a stretcher to load Teddy up and take him away.
Of course, nobody bothered to check his pulse or see if he was breathing.
The wedding not only was
a waste of time but the end was truly disgusting. Not enough death to worry about without showing this kind of
crap on the weekly shows? The fact that everyone just left Teddy lying there on
his face without checking on him was one of the dumbest moves I have ever seen.
I saw Ying and Yang
several times over the course of the broadcast and I still don’t know who they
If it hadn’t been for
the Hornswoggle antics during this two hour Smackdown, it would have been a
complete thumbs down
Spoiler for the
wedding buffs: I hear through the
grapevine that Kristal Marshall is really dating Bobby Lashley.