iMPACT

September 6, 2007

by Sassy

Commentary by Sassy in italics.

This is the last iMPACT before No Surrender scheduled for this Sunday, September 9, on pay per view.  Check your television listings.

We are shown a recap of the beginning of a feud between Robert Roode and Kaz over Miss Brooks; a recap of Team 3D taking out Scott Steiner as they had taken out his brother, Rick Steiner, the week before; the four way match between AJ Styles, Christian Cage, and Samoa Joe to decide who would be Kurt Angle’s tag team partner and share the Tag Team championship belts – Sting won the match; and the spray painting of Sting by Team Pacman.

We are on the street with Crystal awaiting the arrival of Team Pacman Jones to find out what they think the consequences are going to be from Sting.  She tells us that Sting has already arrived and he is mad. Ron The Truth Killings who got out of the driver’s seat of the vehicle says there will be no consequences.  Jones gets out of the backseat of the vehicle says there will be no consequences. Jones tells us there is “one person who haven’t been autographed, one big person who haven’t been autographed” by Team Pacman and they are looking for him. 

Jones needs a new writer or help with his line delivery.

Inquiring minds would like to know if The Truth gets any perks for being Jones chauffeur and isn’t Jones making enough money to have a better looking vehicle?  You can drive a big gas guzzler if you must, but at least get a hot looking set of wheels.

Ringside Announcers:  Mike Tenay and Don West.

Ring Announcer:  David Penzer

Kaz, from Anaheim, CA

Vs.

Tomko, from Jacksonville, FL

The bell rings and Kaz comes out with a kick to Tomko, but Tomko sidesteps and Kaz misses his mark. Another kick and again Kaz misses. Tomko delivers a hard chop to the chest that sends Kaz against the ropes.  Kaz tries the kick one more time and delivers a boot to Tomko’s upper arm.  Another kick to the arm, a forearm to the head, then Kaz delivers a series of alternating fists and chops backing Tomko into the ropes.  Kaz tries to swing Tomko off the ropes but Tomko gets an arm around the ring rope to stop the maneuver. Kaz sends a kick once and then twice to the arm with Tomko still against the ropes. Kaz has Tomko down on the mat with his arm locked up and we see Robert Roode and Miss Brooks coming down the ramp with Roode pointing and ordering Miss Brooks around. Kaz twists Tomko’s arm; Tomko is able to come up with a hard clothesline that sends Kaz to the mat. Tomko picks up Kaz and sends him into the ring post, Kaz goes down to the mat.  Tomko grabs Kaz by his ankles to pull Kaz out in the ring but Kaz has a grip on the top ropes and manages to land in a standing position. Kaz sends several forearms into Tomko then comes off the ropes but Tomko catches Kaz with an elbow and Kaz is down on the mat again. Tomko picks Kaz up to hold him high overhead.  Kaz slides down behind Tomko, delivers several kicks again and once more tries to come off the ropes.  Tomko is waiting, catches Kaz, gets him up on his shoulder, drops him with a power slam and goes for the pin. It’s a two count for Tomko before Kaz kicks out. Tomko picks Kaz up and slams him into the ring post, gives him a hard forearm, then throws Kaz into the opposite ropes and goes after him.  Kaz gets out of the way and Tomko hits the ring post.  Kaz goes onto the ring apron, hits Tomko with an elbow and before he can go up and into the ring, Roode pulls him off onto the floor.  Kaz lands on his feet and as Roode takes a swing at Kaz, Kaz ducks and Roode’s forearm connects with the ring post. Kaz goes up on the top turnbuckle and comes off with a drop kick to send Tomko to the mat.  Kaz goes for the pin but only gets a two count.  We see Roode outside the ring screaming at Miss Brooks. Back in the ring, both men are on their feet, Tomko nails Kaz with a forearm, then sends him into the ropes.  As Kaz comes off the ropes, Tomko has a boot ready but Kaz ducks under the boot and goes into a baseball slide to take out Roode still outside the ring.  Kaz sends three hard rights to Roode’s jaw sending him to the floor. Kaz gets back on the ring apron and tries to go to the top turnbuckle again but this time Tomko is waiting for him. Tomko uses fists and forearms to get Kaz up on the turnbuckle but Kaz sends a boot to Tomko to back him up. Kaz comes off the ropes, taking Tomko down in a DDT, goes for the pin and again gets a two count. Kaz delivers two fists and tries to sling Tomko into the ropes, but Tomko gets the switch and sends Kaz into the ropes.  As Kaz comes off the ropes, Tomko is ready, but Kaz flips up over Tomko’s back and again lands behind him. Tomko turns and catches Kaz in the face with a boot.  As Kaz gets back to his feet, Tomko delivers a tree slam, goes for the pin and gets the win.

As Tomko gets up on the ring ropes to show the audience he is a winner, Miss Brooks enters the ring to check on Kaz.  Roode is right behind her and pulls her away from Kaz. With Kaz still down on the mat, Roode repeatedly kicks him, sending him out of the ring.  Roode then turns to Miss Brooks and begins screaming at her with Tomko in the ring looking on. Roode tells Miss Brooks he owns her and Tomko steps between them and shoves Roode backwards. Tomko and Roode are head to head and Tomko shoves Roode across the ring. Roode takes off his shirt and yells at Tomko as Tomko leaves the arena.

I enjoy Kaz.  He is a superb player in TNA.  I was a little concerned about Tomko because he allegedly suffered an injury to his shoulder during a match a short time ago.  He didn’t look any worse for wear this match. I prefer to see Tomko in one on one matches versus being a gopher for Christian. Roode is a great heal and I am going to reiterate that Miss Brooks should be working in the ring as a female wrestler.

Tenay and West remind us that No Surrender is this Sunday and gives us a rundown of all the matches. Information on No Surrender is available:  www.tnawrestling.com.  Scheduled matches are at the end of this recap.

Jeremy Borash is in the back with Kurt Angle and Sting to talk to them about the title matches they have coming up tonight and then again at No Surrender.  JB asks about the trust issues between the two men and Sting says that he knows that he can’t trust the Angles. He tells Kurt that before he worries about whether or not he has Sting’s back tonight, he should consider whether or not Sting has Kurt’s back tonight. Karen Angle gets in front of Kurt and tells Sting he doesn’t talk to her husband like that and Sting tells Kurt “the wife stays in the back tonight”. Karen grabs Sting’s coat as he walks away and tells him he isn’t going to talk to her like that but before she can slap him, Kurt grabs her arm and tells her Sting can talk to her anyway he wants to because he is Kurt’s tag team partner and tonight she is staying in the back.

Back from commercial break, we see a Black Reign promo with a cute little brown critter that Dustin Rhodes’ calls an artic fox named Misty that is supposed to be what is running around in Dustin’s head.  He talks to Chris Harris about their upcoming match at No Surrender.

That is NOT an artic fox.  Misty is either a small brown rat or a brown mouse.  Neither are scary unless you are watching a movie about killer rats.

Crystal is backstage with Wildcat Chris Harris and she tells Wildcat that he told her before Hard Justice that he and Dustin were friends.  She says that after seeing their match at Hard Justice, she didn’t understand how they could be friends.  Wildcat tells her it is because she is seeing two different personalities.  Dustin Rhodes was his friend but at Hard Justice it was not Dustin.  He then speaks to Dustin and tells him that he can be just as sick as Dustin is and that is what will happen at No Surrender.  Tenay says that Wildcat has been sidelined since he suffered a concussion at Hard Justice.

West then talks about all the Kurt Angle matches that will be at No Surrender.

JB is backstage with Black Machismo, Jay Lethal, to talk to him about his upcoming match tonight with Abyss as his partner against Sting and Kurt Angle.  Lethal then has a match at No Surrender against Kurt for the X Division championship. Abyss comes up to JB and Lethal.  Abyss tells Angle that it starts tonight and ends tonight at No Surrender, Kurt’s blood, Abyss’s gold.

Before we cut to commercial break, we see Samoa Joe leave his locker room and head toward the arena and then Team Pacman comes down the hall.  The Truth asks if Joe could be there next victim and Jones says maybe.

Back from commercial break, we see Cowboy James Storm and Miss Jackie Moore outside a building as Storm says they are in the right place, Triple A.  Jackie tells him no it is AA (which stands for Alcoholics Anonymous) and Storm says it doesn’t matter how many A’s are in it, the point is that Rhino has to be there.  As Storm decides to go in and find Rhino, Jackie tells him he can’t take the beer in, so he hands it to her.  Dick is running the meeting and introduces himself as an alcoholic and then Bill and Lydia stand up and state that they are alcoholics. Storm then stands up and says that after listening to all of these pathetic people, he has to have a beer and he takes his beer from Miss Jackie.  Dick asks him if he understands that alcoholism is a disease and Storm says that his Momma taught him that if you are going to have a disease it should be one you can have a good time with.  Dick then tells Storm to leave or they are going to call the police.  Storm tells Jackie they are going to call the police again and that he is getting kicked out of an AA meeting.  Storm then tells Dick that he just want to know if Rhino has been there.  Dick says this is Alcoholics Anonymous and even if Rhino had been there, they couldn’t tell anyone about it. Storm asks if AA really works and everyone in the meeting says that it does then Storm tells them he has brought them an early Christmas present and hands them a six pack. Storm tells them to have fun and then he leaves.

Whoever has been writing Storm's stuff is doing a good job even if the story line is getting a little stale.  Storm has been doing a marvelous job of delivering his lines and you could really believe he would bluster in to an AA meeting and be such a clown.  We hadn’t seen Miss Jackie and I was a little worried she wouldn’t be around during the bar hunt but she is back and I am hoping she is scheduled for No Surrender.

Raven, from the Bowery

Vs.

Samoa Joe

The bell rings and Raven immediately hits Joe in the abdomen with a knee then throws him out of the ring. Raven goes out of the ring after Joe, catches up with him and delivers a fist, but Joe comes right back at Raven and then sends Raven head first into the guardrail surrounding the audience, then takes him to the next section of the safety rail and slams Raven’s head into the rail and then again. Joe backs all the way up the distance of the ring and runs and plants a boot in Raven’s head. Joe throws Raven back into the ring, tosses him into the opposite ring post.  Joe charges into Raven and plants a forearm shot into Raven’s chest.  Joe sends Raven into the opposite ring post and charges across to land a high knee. Raven is down and Joe works him over with his boots, goes across the ring and as he comes back at Raven, Raven has his kendo stick pointed at Joe.  Joe stops in time and faces Raven still holding the kendo stick.  As Joe backs away from Raven, AJ Styles comes up on the ring apron behind Joe and nails him in the head with another kendo stick as the referee tries to get Raven to drop the stick he is holding.

Back from commercial break – I HATE when they have commercial breaks in the middle of these action filled matches! – Joe is down in the corner and Raven is on his feet.  Raven picks up Joe but Joe pushes Raven back and performs a series of boxing fists to Raven’s face. Joe slams Raven down to the mat, goes across to the ropes and comes off delivering a back breaker to Raven. Joe goes for the pin, gets a two count. Joe slams Raven into the ring post, sets him up on the top turnbuckle to try for the muscle buster, but Raven rakes Joe’s eyes, sending him into the referee. Raven comes off the top turnbuckle and catches Joe with a knee.  As Joe goes back into the ropes, AJ is again on the ring apron.  AJ grabs Joe’s arms to pin them as Raven comes across the ring. Raven is wiping his face with what appears to be Joe’s towel but as he comes after Joe with the towel, Joe gets out of the way and AJ gets the towel rubbed in his face instead. Joe comes up behind Raven and catches him with the rear naked clutch.  Raven taps out and Joe gets the win.

After the match, Joe drags AJ into the ring and works him over then catches Tomko as he enters the ring. Joe and Tomko exchange punches but Christian enters the ring with a steel chair and nails Joe in the back. It is now three on one and AJ comes up with a pair of handcuffs to cuff Joe to the ropes and work him over some more. Christian still has the chair but Joe’s Samoan dancers run into the ring to protect Joe. Christian, AJ and Tomko work toss a dancer out of the ring and then attack the one left in the ring with a chair.  

I still believe Samoa Joe has the best ring entrance in TNA. Joe is always a ring wonder and he worked his usual magic. Raven looked to be in great form in the ring. I have always thought Raven could go far given the right push.   

Back from commercial break, we see a promo with James Mitchell introducing his new devil’s spawn or son, Judas Mesias. 

If James Mitchell doesn’t stop with the promos and get back to the ring with his evil managing ways, I’m going to stop liking/hating him.

We then go to Tenay and West who are on the phone with Rhino. They tell Rhino that Cowboy James Storm has been looking for him and Rhino tells them that if Storm wants to find him, he will be in the middle of the ring at No Surrender waiting for Storm.

Black Machismo, Jay Lethal, from Elizabeth, NJ & Abyss

Vs.

Sting, from Venice Beach, CA & Kurt Angle, from Pittsburgh, PA

Tag Team Title holders

The bell rings and Sting faces off with Lethal in the ring.  Lethal gets up on the ropes to work the crowd before getting hooked in a headlock by Sting.  Off the ropes, and Sting takes Lethal down.  Lethal back up, Sting tries to toss Lethal into the ropes but Lethal gets the switch and sends Sting into the ropes. Lethal takes Sting down with a hip toss then comes off the ropes and sends his feet into Sting’s chest. Lethal has Sting in a wristlock and tags in Abyss. Abyss waves away Sting and points to Kurt. Sting motions to ask the audience what they want and then he tags in Kurt. Angle unwillingly enters the ring and grabs Abyss to try for a suplex.  Abyss pries Kurt’s hands free and applies a wristlock taking Kurt down to the mat. Kurt is back to his feet, throwing a series of punches to make Abyss release his hold.  Kurt attempts to send Abyss into the ropes but Abyss stands his ground and throws Kurt into the opposite ring post. Abyss charges Kurt, Kurt hits him with an elbow. Kurt goes after Abyss, Abyss takes Kurt up in the air and body slams him to the mat. Abyss lands several hard rights to Kurt’s skull before sending him into a ring post.  Abyss charges again at Kurt but Kurt gets out of the way, comes off the ropes and is met by Abyss’s boot. Kurt is down on the mat.  As we go to commercial break, Karen comes down the ramp and Sting is not happy.

Back from commercial break, Abyss tags in Lethal and Lethal comes off the top ropes to land on Kurt’s arm as Abyss holds Kurt.  We are shown a clip from what happened during the commercial break and we see Kurt carrying his wife out of the arena at the insistence of Sting. Back to real time, Kurt sends Lethal into the ropes and as Lethal comes off the ropes Kurt executes a belly-to-belly suplex. Both men are down in the ring but Kurt manages to make the tag to Sting. Sting picks up Lethal and body slams him to the mat then uses the top ropes to come down on Lethal for a pin.  Sting gets a three count before Lethal powers out. Sting delivers a suplex and again goes for the pin. Again he only gets a two count. Sting tags in Kurt and Kurt delivers a boot to Lethal’s midsection before Sting exits the ring. Kurt delivers an uppercut and makes eye contact with Abyss then shows his muscles off to the crowd before turning his attention back to Lethal. Kurt delivers a back breaker and goes for the pin, but only gets a two count.  Kurt tries for the pin again and again gets a two count before Lethal gets his shoulder off the mat. Kurt has Lethal in a headlock and leg lock on the mat.  Lethal gets back to his feet and sends elbows into Kurt’s abdomen to break free of the hold.  Lethal goes off the ropes and comes back sliding under Kurt, then is back on his feet and delivers a flying head scissors to Kurt. Lethal tries for a clothesline, Kurt ducks his arm and sends Lethal to the mat with a German suplex. Kurt pins Lethal and gets a two count. Kurt tags in Sting who sends Lethal across the ropes and there is a meeting of the minds as Sting and Lethal have a head on collision. Both men are down but Sting gets to his feet first and tags in Angle.  Lethal makes the tag to Abyss and Abyss comes in with a hard clothesline to take Angle down to the mat. Abyss hits Angle with another clothesline and as Sting enters the ring, he meets with an Abyss forearm. Abyss sends Kurt down with the shock treatment and as Sting charges Abyss a big boot meets him.  Lethal is on the top turnbuckle and he stands on Abyss’s shoulders to land an elbow on Angle. Abyss goes for the pin, Angle powers out after a two count. All four men are in the ring, Sting has Lethal down in the corner.  Abyss sets Sting up for the choke slam and then gets Kurt with his other hand.  Pushing Sting away, Abyss choke slams Kurt alone instead. Abyss goes for the pin but Sting pushes Abyss away, breaking the count.  Lethal is on his feet and he lands two elbows on the top of Sting’s head then tries to send him across the ring, but Sting gets the switch and sends Lethal into the ring post. Sting goes back across the ring and charges Lethal but is met by Lethal’s elbow. Lethal locks his legs around Sting and both men go over the top rope and onto the floor. Abyss gets Kurt up on his shoulder, but Kurt slides down Abyss’s back.  Kurt delivers an angle slam and goes for the pin.  Kurt gets a two count. Kurt sets Abyss for the ankle lock, Abyss kicks out and sends Kurt into the ropes.  Kurt comes off the ropes and ducks the clothesline Abyss has waiting, goes into the opposite ropes and comes off the meet the black hole slam. Abyss gets the pin and Abyss and Lethal get the win.

As soon as the match is over, Abyss goes under the ring to go after his black bag, however, James Mitchell shows up at the top of the ramp.  Sting is telling Abyss to drop the bag and Abyss does, but then he follows Mitchell out of the arena. Team Pacman comes through the crowd so Jones can do the only thing Jones can do – spray paint the word PAC on Angle’s back. Sting beats on The Truth outside the ring while Jones stands on the ramp motioning for The Truth to follow him out.

When Lethal first donned his Black Machismo outfit and voice I thought it was ridiculous.  I have to admit it grows on you.  With Lethal’s natural ring talent and his acting abilities, he should be first in line for a lot of TNA airtime.  Abyss is his usual imposing self and even without any major maneuvers is a wonder in the ring and where would Abyss be without that wickedly smiling James Mitchell? Sting is still Sting and I would expect nothing less.  Kurt is still Kurt and he did fairly well in this match.  The wife coming to the ring wasn’t necessary and only took away from the talent involved. In addition to Mrs. Angle’s acting lessons someone should hook her up with a fashion consultant. 

The current line up at No Surrender and Sassy’s takes on what could or should happen.

X Division Title Match: Black Machismo, Jay Lethal, vs. Kurt Angle

Championship Title Match: Abyss vs. Kurt Angle

Tag Team Title Match: Team Pacman vs. Sting and Kurt Angle

And if everyone is now sick of hearing about Kurt Angle…the other matches scheduled are:

Samoa Joe vs. Christian Cage

No Disqualification: Wildcat Chris Harris vs. Black Reign Dustin Rhodes

Rhino vs. Cowboy James Storm

Kaz vs. Robert Roode with Miss Brooks

10 Team Gauntlet for Shot at Tag Team Titles:  Voodoo Kin Mafia, The Latin American Exchange, Team 3D,  The Motor City Machineguns, Triple X, AJ Styles & Tomko, Sonjay Dutt & Petey Williams, Raven & Havok, Eric Young & Shark Boy, Lance Hoyt & Jimmy Rave

This may be the least excited I have been about a TNA pay per view in a long time.  Between the Angle family in all the major matches and Team Pacman that isn’t a “team” may make for a boring three-hour show. With all the talent TNA has I don’t get the sudden insistence of having to have the Angles taking center stage.  Fortunately for TNA they do have matches with some of my favorite performers and I would be hard pressed to ignore them.  I’ll be ordering No Surrender. 

My take on the scheduled matches:

Black Machismo Jay Lethal vs. Kurt Angle for the X Division Championship:  Black Machismo, Jay Lethal should win the X Division title.  Unfortunately for Kurt, Lethal is a high-risk player and can wear Kurt down. Unfortunately for Lethal, there will most likely be outside interference which could cost him the match.

Abyss vs. Kurt Angle for the TNA Championship:  Abyss should win the Championship title and I don’t know why TNA hasn’t let him spend more time as a belt holder.  Abyss is not the high risk, high-flyer that Lethal is but his size and strength make up for any lack of speed.  In a one on one match without interference, I’d pick Abyss every time. Unfortunately for Abyss, it is  will  likely there will be outside interference, not only from the Angle family.  James Mitchell and his newly acquired son might show up.

Team Pacman vs. Sting and Kurt Angle for the Tag Team Titles:  Sting and Kurt should keep the tag team titles if for no other reason than that Jones is not a wrestler and cannot physically be involved in the match. One man, The Truth, does not a tag team make.  On the other hand, that may not be an issue because Mrs. Angle can’t wrestler either. Suffice it to say that both teams may have their share of interference from the opposing sides and I am afraid Team Pacman may end up with the titles even though they certainly won’t deserve it.

Samoa Joe vs. Christian Cage:  Samoa Joe and Christian Cage both deserve a win in this match and I can’t decide who will come out on top.  I have seen both of these men fight until they could hardly stand up and still keep going.  Joe is bigger but Christian is just as tough. It’s a hard call. Unfortunately for Joe, Christian always manages to come up with someone assisting him from the outside and that may cost Joe the match.

Cowboy James Storm vs. Rhino:  As much as I think Storm has a lot of talent in the ring, I’m hoping for a Rhino win in this match.  Rhino has spent too long being the whipping post for any wrestler that comes along and he’s too good to keep turning up the loser. Unfortunately for Rhino, Miss Jackie should be at ringside and that may cost Rhino the match.

Wildcat Chris Harris vs. Black Reign Dustin Rhodes: Wildcat Chris Harris deserves a win in this match especially after the Hard Justice joke of a match he was in with Dustin Rhodes.  I am hoping that Dustin’s Black Reign character has evolved into more of a wrestler than a what-is-that!? in the ring.  Dustin’s wasting his talent in the ring with the sluggish slow Black Reign character he was at Hard Justice.

Kaz vs. Robert Roode who will be accompanied by Miss Brooks:  I think we might see Kaz win this match but Roode will make him work for it.  This may be the match where Kaz rides off into the sunset with the damsel in distress or this may be the match where the damsel in distress turns out to be a witch (or if you prefer, erase that “w” and make it a “b” – Miss Brooks has been called worse) in damsel’s clothing.  This match should be worth watching.

10 Man Gauntlet – this is a tough one.  You can't put all of these great players in one match and expect me to pick a winner. LAX deserves a shot, but so does VKM and Team 3D and everyone else in this match.  I know it will be a difficult match to follow but it should be worth the purchase of the pay per view.  If I was going to hazard a guess, I’d guess Team 3D but I can’t tell you who I want to win because I like the whole bunch.

 

TNA iMPACT !! / THURSDAY AUGUST 30 / PLAY-BY-PLAY ANALYSIS AND COMMENTARY BY SASSY
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