August 11, 2008 – Recap by Sassy
Last week on Raw
In an Intercontinental Championship Match, Kofi Kingston
retained his title defeated Paul Burchill with Katie Lea Burchill.
In a WWE Women’s Championship Match, Mickie James
retained her title by defeating Katie Lea Burchill in 4 minutes.
In a 2 on 1 Handicap Match, John Bradshaw Layfield
accidentally defeated Chris Jericho by pinning CM Punk to become the Number One
Contender for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship at Summerslam in 10
Big Red Machine Kane defeated Matt Striker in 2 minutes.
The Animal Batista & John Cena became the new WWE
World Tag Team Champions by defeating Ted Dibiase & Cody Rhodes.
Monday Night Raw is broadcast on the USA network from
Ringside announcers: Michael Cole & Jerry “The
Ring announcer: Lillian Garcia
Backstage interviews: Todd Grisham
John Cena, one half of the WWE World Heavyweight Champions,
enters the arena. He will face his partner, The Animal Batista, at the next pay
per view. Cena calls for Batista and Batista, the other half of the WWE World
Heavyweight Champions, obliges. Tonight there is a rematch for the tag team
championships against the former champs, Cody Rhodes & Ted Dibiase. Cena
just couldn’t leave it alone. He
asks Batista which one of them is better. Cena
says on Sunday they will answer that question and it’s going to be Cena.
Batista, of course, says that on Sunday it will be Batista. Cena puts out his
hand and Batista shakes it. Jerry Lawler says there will be a World Tag Team
Rematch tonight and we go to commercial break.
Kelly Kelly from Jacksonville, FL
The Glamazon Beth Phoenix from Buffalo, NY
With Santino Marella
I have to say it. Kelly
doesn’t have a chance against Phoenix. Marella takes a seat at the
announcer’s table while Kelly attempts to take on Phoenix. Phoenix delivers a
face plant and gets the three count for the win. Time: 2 minutes.
Winner: The Glamazon Beth Phoenix
My Mother once said that if you can’t say anything nice,
you shouldn’t say anything at all. This may be first time I ever listened to
my Mother. After the match, Marella wants Phoenix to do a little further beat
down on Kelly but Mickie James and Kofi Kingston race to the ring to save her.
Phoenix & Marella will face Kingston & James for the WWE
Intercontinental Title and the Women’s Title at the next pay per view. Marella
challenges Kingston to a match right now on Raw. Kingston tells him to come on
in to the ring. Marella says he wasn’t talking to Kingston, he was talking to
James because he needs practice wrestling against a woman. James accepts the
challenge. We go to commercial break.
WWE Women’s Champion
Marella could be in trouble in this match up.
James is good. Marella calls for a time out when he misses a knee drop.
James doesn’t waste any time going after the knee. Phoenix charges into the
ring behind the ref’s back and sends James into the corner post, Marella goes
for the cover and gets the three count, holding the tights. Time: 2 minutes.
Winner: Santino Marella with the
help of The Glamazon Beth Phoenix and the tights of Mickie James.
The match was obviously a build up for the tension that
should occur at Summerslam between these four individuals. Mike Adamle is
backstage with Todd Grisham. Big Red Machine Kane interrupts and asks if Adamle
wants to see him. Adamle says that tonight it will be Kane versus Chris Jericho.
Kane says that’s fine and Adamle tells Kane after the match, Kane can hand
over the bag Kane has in his hand. Kane tells Adamle he doesn’t want to go
there. Kane tells Adamle he is making a huge mistake. We go to commercial break.
Cody Rhodes & Ted Dibiase are backstage. Rhodes says that
they respect the older wrestlers who acted as a team. Rhodes says that Cena
& Batista are not a team and the two of them can’t stand each other.
Rhodes & Dibiase says that they will take back their titles tonight. Michael
Cole says that tonight JBL will issue a challenge to CM Punk and we got to
Shad & JTG
Cryme Tyme from Brooklyn, NY
At a combined weight of 525 lbs.
Rory & Robbie McCallister
At a combined weight of 15 Stone
The Highlanders have not been in the ring for some time.
Because Cryme Tyme has been given a push via their association with Cena,
I have a bad feeling about this match. Back slam and Shad goes for the cover
getting the win. Time: 3 minutes.
Winners: Shad & JTG of Cryme
If the matches get any longer, I may not be able to stand the
suspense. The match was not impressive. Cole reminds the audience about the
challenge he has for Punk and we go to commercial break.
Cole informs the audience that Randy Orton was involved in a
serious motorcycle accident last night and was thrown over 300 feet.
Gee, a new Dad out putting around on his bike while the wife is home with
the new baby? What a guy!
John Bradshaw Layfield enters the arena and the fact is that
it will take longer for him to get to the ring than for whatever is going to
happen in the ring. Since JBL accidentally won the match last week to face Punk,
JBL must be running scared. You can’t beat Punk JBL.
Punk doesn’t need a limo to take him to the ring. He does it the old
fashioned way and the Raw fans love it. There are more Pepsi signs in the
audience than there are on a Pepsi machine. JBL tells Punk he can beat Punk at
any thing he chooses to do. JBL uncovers a bottle of Jack Black. JBL wants a
drinking contest between himself and Mr. Straight Edge Punk. I’d forgive Punk
if he breaks that (sigh) bottle of JB over JBL’s head. JBL wants Punk to prove
that Punk will do anything to win. Punk says he is not like JBL, he’s like CM
Punk willing to check his body at the door in Summerslam but Punk isn’t
willing to compromise his beliefs. Punk
tells JBL no thanks and puts down the drink.
JBL couldn’t afford Gentleman Jack?
What a cheap creep! Punk says he has changed his mind. Punk takes the
drink and throws it in JBL’s face, delivers a high knee. Go, Punk, go! Punk
takes his belt and leaves a JD soaked JBL in the ring. Punk’s going to take
JBL at Summerslam. And Punk had better not make a liar out of me! We go to
Chris Jericho weighing 226 lbs.
With Lance Cade
Big Red Machine Kane weighing 323 lbs.
With his little burlap bag
Kane sends Jericho out to the floor and Cade moves out of the
way until Kane tries to get back into the ring. I hear through the grapevine
that Cade is an excellent wrestler. If that’s the case, why is Cade following
around Jericho? Jericho tries for the walls of Jericho and he should know
better. Kane goes up to the top turnbuckle but Jericho is back to his feet. Kane
sends Jericho back to the mat and comes off with a clothesline but Adamle shows
up with security and heads for the little burlap bag. Kane delivers a big boot
to Jericho and grabs his little bag. Jericho delivers a jawbreaker, goes for the
cover and gets the three count. Time: 5 minutes.
Winner: Chris Jericho
Really, Adamle, distracting Kane and allowing Jericho to get
the win. As GM, you should be ashamed of yourself. Adamle enters the ring with
Kane and tells Kane that he knows it is very difficult for Kane. Adamle says
that he knows what is inside that bag and he knows that Kane is looking to know
if Kane is alive or dead. The new GM is a psychiatrist, too, but did he say
exorcise or was that “exercise” your demons?
Who writes this stuff? Adamle tries to talk Kane out of the bag. Adamle
says that everyone deserves to know what is inside the bag. Everyone has been
guessing that Kane’s mask is in the bag.
I should have taken the bets. Kane takes the mic and tells Adamle there
is a mask in the bag and the man who wore it has been scarred, tortured and
damaged beyond all human recognition. Kane says the problem is it is not his
mask. He has Rey Mysterio’s mask! Adamle’s lips are moving but no one can
hear what he is saying. I’m not sure I understand what Kane with Mysterio’s
mask is all about. Does this mean Mysterio will return to WWE without a mask or
does this mean Mysterio will return as a mini Kane? We go to commercial break.
Jamie Noble (already in the ring, not announced)
William Regal from Blackpool, England weighing 240 lbs.
2008 King of the Ring
Regal is back in fine form. I’m not sure I like the new
look but my daughter did say Regal’s hair is “bitchin’”. Time:
Winner: William Regal with a knee to the said of the head and
The matches are getting shorter.
WWE World Tag Team Title Rematch
The Animal Batista
We go to commercial break before the challengers are
The challengers are already in the ring when we return from
The match begins with a disagreement between Batista &
Cena over who will start the match. A whole lot of showmanship and no wrestling
from Cena or Batista and we go to commercial break in the middle, I think, of
the match. Back to the ring, Cena is still in the ring at the receiving end of a
hold by Dibiase. Batista finally has ring time and he has Dibiase set up for a
Batista bomb but Cena enters the ring and shoves Dibiase out of the way. Rhodes
is in the ring as the referee gets Cena back to the ring apron. Batista slaps in
Cena, yep just like Cena did to Batista last week. With Cena’s face in
Batista’s face, Dibiase goes for the roll up and gets the three count and the
win and the tag titles. Time: 6 minutes.
Winners and new WWE World Tag Team
Champions: Cody Rhodes & Ted Dibiase
I realize this was another build up for a match at Summerslam
but it doesn’t do much for those titles to have them here and there and
everywhere. After the match,
Batista and Cena face off but they are attacked by Rhodes & Dibiase. They
work together to take out the new champions and Cena heads up the entrance ramp
but Batista wants Cena back in the ring. As
Cena heads for the ring, Security hits the ring to keep the former tag team
partners apart. Adamle appears at
ringside. He stops to check on Rhodes and Batista makes it through to Cena.
Three refs and I don’t know how many Security personnel are in the ring but
they just can’t seem to keep the two separated.