iMPACT

August 7, 2008  – Recap by Sassy

 

Last week on iMPACT

In a Number One Contender’s Match for the TNA Tag Team Championship, Robert Roode & Cowboy James Storm of Beer Money, Inc. with Jacqueline defeated War Machine Rhino & Instant Classic Christian Cage in 6 minutes.

In a Six-Man Tag Team Match,  Black Machismo Jay Lethal & Shark Boy & Curry Man defeated Lance Rock & Jimmy Rave from Rock ‘n Rave Infection with Christy Hemme & Johnny Devine in 4 minutes.

In a non-title match, Consequences Creed defeated Maple Leaf Muscle Petey Williams, TNA X-Division Champion, with Rhaka Khan, in 5 minutes.

The Blueprint Matt Morgan defeated Saul Rhinouro in 1 minute.

In a tag team match, Taylor Wilde, TNA Women’s Champion & Gail Kim defeated Angelina Love & Velvet Sky of Beautiful People.

 

TNA Wrestling

 

CROSS THE LINE

 

iMPACT is broadcast from Universal Studios, Orlando, FL on the Spike TV Network

 

Ringside announcers: Mike Tenay and Don West

Ring announcer: David Penzer

Ringside valet: SoCal Val

Backstage interviews: Jeremy Borash and Lauren

 

Mike Tenay is in the ring to pump up the Hard Justice pay per view. Jeremy Borash is in the audience to explain part of the matches that the fans will see tonight. Lauren and BG James are in the audience to tell the audience about the eight man weapons included gauntlet match. Is James now a mic person?

 

The Pride of Tennessee Jacqueline

Vs.

Roxxi,

Who brings a grocery cart full of weapons

 

Special Referee: Traci Brooks

 

Since Moose is out of action, Jacqueline appears to have taken her place in the women’s hardcore matches. I like Roxxi but Jacqueline is one of the best female wrestlers out there, hardcore or wrestling. Time: 4 minutes.

 

Winner: Roxxi with a voodoo drop

 

No blood was spilled during the previous match. I have yet to understand why TNA is focusing on “hardcore” women’s wrestling. Lauren is backstage with Rhino and Instant Classic Christian Cage. She wants to know about their match tonight against 3D. Cage & Rhino have some heavy words for Team 3D, but Rhino does call Lauren “toots”.  Is that sexual harassment? We go to commercial break.

 

JB is backstage with Super Eric and SoCal Val. Eric tells Val that the case of the wedding ring has been solved. She asks who would steal her engagement ring. Eric tells her that The Guru stole the ring.

 

The Guru Sonjay Dutt from Bombay, India

Vs.

Curry Man from Japan

 

Referee: Rudy Charles

 

The Guru isn’t taking donations this week. Maybe he hocked that diamond ring he stole and doesn’t need the money. This is a comedy match and if that wasn’t enough, Val appears at ringside. She’s yelling at Dutt that she wants her ring back and the distraction gives Curry time to catch Dutt off guard. Dutt rakes the eyes of Curry , delivers a kick to the head and a splash and gets the three count. Time: 3 minutes.

 

Winner: The Guru Sonjay Dutt

 

After the match, Dutt bails out of the ring when Val enters the ring. Shark Boy is at the top of the ramp and he goes after Dutt and rolls Dutt into the ring. Dutt manages to prevent Shark from entering the ring but in the meantime Super Eric has entered the ring to take Val’s ring out of Dutt’s tights. She yells at Dutt, Dutt tells her he made a mistake and she forgives him and that means we have more of this romance angle to look forward to – don’t say you weren’t warned. Lauren is backstage with Cowboy James Storm and Robert Rood of Beer Money, Inc. and  Brother Ray and Brother Devon of Team 3D.. She asks what ever happened to a good old fashioned wrestling match. Ray says that would be boring. Obviously Ray has never seen a real wrestling match. Ray has words for their opponents tonight. We go to commercial break.

 

The audience sees a video of Sheik Abdul Bashir, the wrestler formerly known as Daivari, who continues to be anti American.

 

Chris Sabin

&

Alex Shelley

Motor City Machine Guns from Detroit, MI

Vs.

Black Machismo Jay Lethal from Elizabeth, NJ

&

Consequences Creed from  Atlanta, GA

 

Referee: Shane Sewell

 

MCMG continue to come to the ring wearing masks, but they do not wrestle wearing them. Quick submission hold by Shelley on Lethal but Lethal counters. Tenay tells the audience that the Sheik be at Sunday’s pay per view. Shelley again goes for a pin but Lethal kicks out. Shelley & Lethal shake hands and then they tag in their partners. Sabin enters the ring in charge but Creed comes back. Creed goes for a cover and gets a one count. Creed tags in Lethal and they double-team Sabin before Lethal goes for a cover. Sabin kicks out. This is a fast paced match but definitely not mat wrestling. The live audience prefers to see the wrestlers bounce around the ring. Sabin tags in Shelley but Shelley catches a boot from Lethal as he enters the riing. Shelley and Sabin send Lethal to the floor and Shelley slingshots over the top rope to take Lethal down to the floor. Creed has been sent to the floor on the opposite side of the ring. Sabin tries for a cover but can’t get the three count on Lethal. Sabin tags Shelley into the match and the pair double-team Lethal. Shelley goes for the cover but Lethal kicks out at the count of two. Shelley tags in Sabin and again there is a double-team. Sabin goes for the cover and again Lethal kicks out at the count of two. Sabin tags in Shelley. This time the double-team doesn’t work as Lethal sends Shelley over the top rope to the floor and delivers a drop kick that sends Sabin to the mat. Lethal tags in Creed. Creed goes after Shelley but Shelley hangs Creed up on the top rope. Sabin is back in the ring, Shelley goes for a cover but Lethal broke it up. Creed comes off the top rope and pins both opponents, getting a two count. Sabin catches a suicide dive on the floor courtesy of Lethal. Creed and Shelley continue to battle it out in the ring, Creed goes for the roll up and gets the three count and the win. Time:  8 minutes.

 

Winners: Consequences Creed with a roll up & Black Machismo Jay Lethal

 

The reaction of Shelley to Creed’s win was a shove to the chest. The “new” TNA talk show is on but I fast forwarded through it. We go to commercial break.

 

Tenay and West give the audience a rundown of the matches at the Hard Justice pay per view. JB is backstage with Kurt Angle. JB asks about the Last Man Standing Match between Angle and Phenomenal AJ Styles at Sunday’s ppv. Angle is still trash talking Styles for chasing Angle’s wife. We go to commercial break.

 

Lauren is backstage with Angelina Love & Velvet Sky of the Beautiful People and Awesome Kong with Raisha Saeed. They are pimping their match at Hard Justice against Taylor Wilde, Gail Kim, and O.D.B.

 

Eight-Man No Disqualification

 

Cowboy James Storm

&

Robert Roode

Beer Money, Inc.

&

Brother Ray

&

Brother Devon

Team 3D

Vs.

Homjcide

&

Hernandez

TNA Tag Team Champions

Latin American Exchange

With Hector Guerrero

&

Instant Classic Christian Cage

&

War Machine Rhino

 

Referee: Earl Hebner

 

The match begins as an eight man brawl.  Rhino Goes Devon, Roode, Ray and Storm. Everyone left in the ring flies out of the ring to take down their opponents and we go to commercial break. Back in the ring, Rhino & Devon are battling it out in the audience area while Ray & Cage battle it out on the entrance ramp. That leaves LAX and Beer Money, Inc. to battle it out in the ring but Ray appears to take down LAX. Ray suplexes Hernandez off the top turnbuckle and Cage is back in the ring to try to take out Ray, but Ray delivers a back body drop. Homicide is on the floor with Devon but he appears in time to deliver a low blow to Ray. Cage delivers a hurricanrana off the top, but Roode pulls Cage out of the ring to send him into the guardrail. Rhino is in the ring with Devon but Beer Money is back in the ring to take out Rhino. Hernandez is back to take down Beer Money and here comes Ray to body slam Hernandez. Devon goes up to the top rope but Rhino sends Devon down to the mat. Hernandez delivers a power bomb to Ray. Cage spits beer in Storm’s face and Homicide goes for the cover, getting the three count. Time: 5 minutes.

 

Winners: Homicide with a pin,

 Hernandez, Instant Classic Christian Cage & War Machine Rhino

 

An eight man no DQ match that was over in 5 minutes.  Is that a record? After the match, Johnny Devine appears at ringside to hand a kendo stick to Ray. Ray enters the ring to take out all four of his opponents. We have a standard beat down by Beer Money and 3D after the match. Hebner has bailed out of the ring and is standing on the ring apron. Devine & Devon deliver a glass topped table and set it up in the ring. Beer Money sends Homicide through the glass table while Ray & Devon are working to try to get Rinio up to send him through the table. Ray & Devon aren’t happy. Homicide has a nasty looking cut on his left arm but I can’t see any other damage from this vantage point. Four refs and someone from the back have hit the ring to tend to Homicide and we go to commercial break.

 

Another Rough Cut about Taylor Wilde in the wrestling industry.

 

Awesome Kong, 6’1”, 272 3/8 lbs.

With Raisha Saeed, Angelina Love & Velvet Sky of Beautiful People

Vs.

Salinas

Representing Latin American Exchange

 

Referee: Slick Johnson

 

Awesome Kong delivers an Awesome Bomb and it’s over. Time: Under 1 minute

 

Winner: Awesome Kong with an Awesome Bomb

 

After the match, Love & Sky enter the ring to address their opponents for this Sunday. Before Kong can slam Salinas into a steel chair, Gail Kim, Taylor Wilde & O.D.B. hit the ring to make the save. Wilde manages to get caught by Kong and as Kong prepares to power bomb Wilde onto the chair, Abyss appears and heads to the ring. Kong does not leave the ring but stands her ground. Saeed gets into the middle and backs Kong away from Abyss. Saeed gets in the face of Abyss and slaps him. Abyss picks up the steel chair and Saeed bails out of the ring. A security guard enters the ring and takes the chair away from Abyss so Abyss black hole slams the guard. We go to commercial break.

 

JB is in the back with Booker T and Sharmell.  I am shocked.  Sharmell is wearing a dress that covers her chest. JB wants to know about Booker’s match this Sunday against Samoan Submission Machine Samoa Joe. Booker says that he will win the match Sunday and be crowned the TNA World Heavyweight Champion. Lauren is backstage with Joe and she asks about his match against Booker this Sunday. Lauren tells Joe that according to Booker, Sting will be at Hard Justice and that Sting will be here tonight. Joe has some harsh words from Sting. Joe says he didn’t go far enough at Victory Road but he will make up for that at Hard Justice when he takes back his championship belt. We go to commercial break.

 

JB is backstage with AJ Styles to ask about Styles’ match this Sunday against Angle. Styles says that he will be Angle at Hard Justice. We go to commercial break.

 

JB is in the ring to announce the iMPACT Main Event.

 

Eight-Man Weapons Gauntlet Match

Wrestler Brings Weapon of His Choice –

Over the top rope elimination

The last two in the ring must win by submission on pinfall

 

Kurt Angle with a garbage can

Vs.

Phenomenal AJ Styles with a ladder

 

Referees: Rudy Charles, Earl Hebner, Slick Johnson & Shane Sewell

 

I obviously can’t call this one as a wrestling match That happens a lot these days on TNA’s iMPACT. I frankly don’t care what they are going to do at the next pay per view.  I’d like to see them do something worthwhile on the weekly iMPACT shows. The ladder doesn’t make it into the ring but the metal garbage can does. Styles does go back out to the floor to bring the ladder into the ring. Angle nails Styles with the metal can.

 

Vs.

The Blueprint Matt Morgan with a steel chair

Vs.

Tomko with a board

 

Tomko’s board doesn’t hold up to the chair so Tomko bails out of the ring and runs to the back with Morgan chasing him, chair in hand. It’s still Styles and Angle in the ring. Angle catapults Styles into the steel chair in the corner.

 

Vs.

BG James with a steel chair

Vs.

Kip James with a metal Dead End sign.

 

The James boys don’t bother to get into the ring, they start their battle on the floor. BG nails Kip with the Dead End sign as Angle is setting up a ladder in the ring. BG is chocking Kip with a chair as Styles sends Angle into the ladder. Angle gets cut with the ladder somewhere on his head and it’s a gusher. Angle delivers a suplex

 

Vs.

Booker T with a bat

Vs.

Samoa Joe with a security baton

 

Joe goes after Booker in the center of the ring but Angle gets involved. Styles goes after Angle and we go to commercial break in the middle of the match. Back to the ring, Morgan has reappeared in the ring, Angle is still bleeding.

 

During the commercial break, Kip James is eliminated by Matt Morgan

 

Kurt Angle is eliminated by AJ Styles

 

AJ Styles is eliminated by Booker T

 

On the floor, Angle is still bleeding but he applies an ankle lock to Styles. Tomko is back in the ring. The refs pull Angle off of Styles and send Angle to the back, still bleeding. Morgan and Tomko are battling it out in the ring but Booker gets involved.

 

Matt Morgan eliminated by Tomko and Booker T

 

Joe is back in the ring and he’s outnumbered.

 

Booker T is eliminated by Joe using Tomko. It’s now

 

Tomko

Vs.

Samoa Joe

 

Joe delivers the muscle buster to Tomko and goes for the cover to get the win. Entire match time: 10 minutes.

 

Winner: Samoan Submission Machine Samoa Joe with a muscle buster.

 

Joe grabs a mic to tell Booker that Joe will take his belt back at Hard Justice and after he’s done with Booker, Sting is next. Sting’s entrance theme begins and the lights go out while Joe stands in the ring. Sting is in the rafters and the lights come back on.

 

 

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