August 7, 2008 –
Recap by Sassy
Last week on iMPACT
In a Number One Contender’s Match for the TNA Tag
Team Championship, Robert Roode & Cowboy James Storm of Beer Money, Inc.
with Jacqueline defeated War Machine Rhino & Instant Classic Christian Cage
in 6 minutes.
In a Six-Man Tag Team Match, Black Machismo Jay Lethal & Shark Boy & Curry Man
defeated Lance Rock & Jimmy Rave from Rock ‘n Rave Infection with Christy
Hemme & Johnny Devine in 4 minutes.
In a non-title match, Consequences Creed defeated Maple
Leaf Muscle Petey Williams, TNA X-Division Champion, with Rhaka Khan, in 5
The Blueprint Matt Morgan defeated Saul Rhinouro in 1
In a tag team match, Taylor Wilde, TNA Women’s
Champion & Gail Kim defeated Angelina Love & Velvet Sky of Beautiful
iMPACT is broadcast from Universal Studios, Orlando, FL on
the Spike TV Network
Ringside announcers: Mike Tenay and Don West
Ring announcer: David Penzer
Ringside valet: SoCal Val
Backstage interviews: Jeremy Borash and Lauren
Mike Tenay is in the ring to pump up the Hard Justice pay per
view. Jeremy Borash is in the audience to explain part of the matches that the
fans will see tonight. Lauren and BG James are in the audience to tell the
audience about the eight man weapons included gauntlet match. Is James now a mic
The Pride of Tennessee Jacqueline
Who brings a grocery cart full of weapons
Special Referee: Traci Brooks
Since Moose is out of action, Jacqueline appears to have
taken her place in the women’s hardcore matches. I like Roxxi but Jacqueline
is one of the best female wrestlers out there, hardcore or wrestling. Time: 4
Winner: Roxxi with a voodoo drop
No blood was spilled during the previous match. I have yet to
understand why TNA is focusing on “hardcore” women’s wrestling. Lauren is
backstage with Rhino and Instant Classic Christian Cage. She wants to know about
their match tonight against 3D. Cage & Rhino have some heavy words for Team
3D, but Rhino does call Lauren “toots”. Is that sexual harassment? We go to commercial break.
JB is backstage with Super Eric and SoCal Val. Eric tells Val
that the case of the wedding ring has been solved. She asks who would steal her
engagement ring. Eric tells her that The Guru stole the ring.
The Guru Sonjay Dutt from Bombay, India
Curry Man from Japan
Referee: Rudy Charles
The Guru isn’t taking donations this week. Maybe he hocked
that diamond ring he stole and doesn’t need the money. This is a comedy match
and if that wasn’t enough, Val appears at ringside. She’s yelling at Dutt
that she wants her ring back and the distraction gives Curry time to catch Dutt
off guard. Dutt rakes the eyes of Curry , delivers a kick to the head and a
splash and gets the three count. Time: 3 minutes.
Winner: The Guru Sonjay Dutt
After the match, Dutt bails out of the ring when Val enters
the ring. Shark Boy is at the top of the ramp and he goes after Dutt and rolls
Dutt into the ring. Dutt manages to prevent Shark from entering the ring but in
the meantime Super Eric has entered the ring to take Val’s ring out of
Dutt’s tights. She yells at Dutt, Dutt tells her he made a mistake and she
forgives him and that means we have more of this romance angle to look forward
to – don’t say you weren’t warned. Lauren is backstage with Cowboy James
Storm and Robert Rood of Beer Money, Inc. and
Brother Ray and Brother Devon of Team 3D.. She asks what ever happened to
a good old fashioned wrestling match. Ray says that would be boring. Obviously
Ray has never seen a real wrestling match. Ray has words for their opponents
tonight. We go to commercial break.
The audience sees a video of Sheik Abdul Bashir, the wrestler
formerly known as Daivari, who continues to be anti American.
Motor City Machine Guns from Detroit, MI
Black Machismo Jay Lethal from Elizabeth, NJ
Consequences Creed from
Referee: Shane Sewell
MCMG continue to come to the ring wearing masks, but they do
not wrestle wearing them. Quick submission hold by Shelley on Lethal but Lethal
counters. Tenay tells the audience that the Sheik be at Sunday’s pay per view.
Shelley again goes for a pin but Lethal kicks out. Shelley & Lethal shake
hands and then they tag in their partners. Sabin enters the ring in charge but
Creed comes back. Creed goes for a cover and gets a one count. Creed tags in
Lethal and they double-team Sabin before Lethal goes for a cover. Sabin kicks
out. This is a fast paced match but definitely not mat wrestling. The live
audience prefers to see the wrestlers bounce around the ring. Sabin tags in
Shelley but Shelley catches a boot from Lethal as he enters the riing. Shelley
and Sabin send Lethal to the floor and Shelley slingshots over the top rope to
take Lethal down to the floor. Creed has been sent to the floor on the opposite
side of the ring. Sabin tries for a cover but can’t get the three count on
Lethal. Sabin tags Shelley into the match and the pair double-team Lethal.
Shelley goes for the cover but Lethal kicks out at the count of two. Shelley
tags in Sabin and again there is a double-team. Sabin goes for the cover and
again Lethal kicks out at the count of two. Sabin tags in Shelley. This time the
double-team doesn’t work as Lethal sends Shelley over the top rope to the
floor and delivers a drop kick that sends Sabin to the mat. Lethal tags in
Creed. Creed goes after Shelley but Shelley hangs Creed up on the top rope.
Sabin is back in the ring, Shelley goes for a cover but Lethal broke it up.
Creed comes off the top rope and pins both opponents, getting a two count. Sabin
catches a suicide dive on the floor courtesy of Lethal. Creed and Shelley
continue to battle it out in the ring, Creed goes for the roll up and gets the
three count and the win. Time: 8
Winners: Consequences Creed with a
roll up & Black Machismo Jay Lethal
The reaction of Shelley to Creed’s win was a shove to the
chest. The “new” TNA talk show is on but I fast forwarded through it. We go
to commercial break.
Tenay and West give the audience a rundown of the matches at
the Hard Justice pay per view. JB is backstage with Kurt Angle. JB asks about
the Last Man Standing Match between Angle and Phenomenal AJ Styles at Sunday’s
ppv. Angle is still trash talking Styles for chasing Angle’s wife. We go to
Lauren is backstage with Angelina Love & Velvet Sky of
the Beautiful People and Awesome Kong with Raisha Saeed. They are pimping their
match at Hard Justice against Taylor Wilde, Gail Kim, and O.D.B.
Eight-Man No Disqualification
Cowboy James Storm
Beer Money, Inc.
TNA Tag Team Champions
Latin American Exchange
With Hector Guerrero
Instant Classic Christian Cage
War Machine Rhino
Referee: Earl Hebner
The match begins as an eight man brawl.
Rhino Goes Devon, Roode, Ray and Storm. Everyone left in the ring flies
out of the ring to take down their opponents and we go to commercial break. Back
in the ring, Rhino & Devon are battling it out in the audience area while
Ray & Cage battle it out on the entrance ramp. That leaves LAX and Beer
Money, Inc. to battle it out in the ring but Ray appears to take down LAX. Ray
suplexes Hernandez off the top turnbuckle and Cage is back in the ring to try to
take out Ray, but Ray delivers a back body drop. Homicide is on the floor with
Devon but he appears in time to deliver a low blow to Ray. Cage delivers a
hurricanrana off the top, but Roode pulls Cage out of the ring to send him into
the guardrail. Rhino is in the ring with Devon but Beer Money is back in the
ring to take out Rhino. Hernandez is back to take down Beer Money and here comes
Ray to body slam Hernandez. Devon goes up to the top rope but Rhino sends Devon
down to the mat. Hernandez delivers a power bomb to Ray. Cage spits beer in
Storm’s face and Homicide goes for the cover, getting the three count. Time: 5
Winners: Homicide with a pin,
Hernandez, Instant Classic
Christian Cage & War Machine Rhino
An eight man no DQ match that was over in 5 minutes.
Is that a record? After the match, Johnny Devine appears at ringside to
hand a kendo stick to Ray. Ray enters the ring to take out all four of his
opponents. We have a standard beat down by Beer Money and 3D after the match.
Hebner has bailed out of the ring and is standing on the ring apron. Devine
& Devon deliver a glass topped table and set it up in the ring. Beer Money
sends Homicide through the glass table while Ray & Devon are working to try
to get Rinio up to send him through the table. Ray & Devon aren’t happy.
Homicide has a nasty looking cut on his left arm but I can’t see any other
damage from this vantage point. Four refs and someone from the back have hit the
ring to tend to Homicide and we go to commercial break.
Another Rough Cut about Taylor Wilde in the wrestling
Awesome Kong, 6’1”, 272 3/8 lbs.
With Raisha Saeed, Angelina Love & Velvet Sky of
Representing Latin American Exchange
Referee: Slick Johnson
Awesome Kong delivers an Awesome Bomb and it’s over. Time:
Under 1 minute
Winner: Awesome Kong with an Awesome
After the match, Love & Sky enter the ring to address
their opponents for this Sunday. Before Kong can slam Salinas into a steel
chair, Gail Kim, Taylor Wilde & O.D.B. hit the ring to make the save. Wilde
manages to get caught by Kong and as Kong prepares to power bomb Wilde onto the
chair, Abyss appears and heads to the ring. Kong does not leave the ring but
stands her ground. Saeed gets into the middle and backs Kong away from Abyss.
Saeed gets in the face of Abyss and slaps him. Abyss picks up the steel chair
and Saeed bails out of the ring. A security guard enters the ring and takes the
chair away from Abyss so Abyss black hole slams the guard. We go to commercial
JB is in the back with Booker T and Sharmell.
I am shocked. Sharmell is wearing a dress that covers her chest. JB wants
to know about Booker’s match this Sunday against Samoan Submission Machine
Samoa Joe. Booker says that he will win the match Sunday and be crowned the TNA
World Heavyweight Champion. Lauren is backstage with Joe and she asks about his
match against Booker this Sunday. Lauren tells Joe that according to Booker,
Sting will be at Hard Justice and that Sting will be here tonight. Joe has some
harsh words from Sting. Joe says he didn’t go far enough at Victory Road but
he will make up for that at Hard Justice when he takes back his championship
belt. We go to commercial break.
JB is backstage with AJ Styles to ask about Styles’ match
this Sunday against Angle. Styles says that he will be Angle at Hard Justice. We
go to commercial break.
JB is in the ring to announce the iMPACT Main Event.
Eight-Man Weapons Gauntlet Match
Wrestler Brings Weapon of His Choice –
Over the top rope elimination
The last two in the ring must win by submission on pinfall
Kurt Angle with a garbage can
Phenomenal AJ Styles with a ladder
Referees: Rudy Charles, Earl Hebner, Slick Johnson &
I obviously can’t call this one as a wrestling match That
happens a lot these days on TNA’s iMPACT. I frankly don’t care what they are
going to do at the next pay per view. I’d
like to see them do something worthwhile on the weekly iMPACT shows. The ladder
doesn’t make it into the ring but the metal garbage can does. Styles does go
back out to the floor to bring the ladder into the ring. Angle nails Styles with
the metal can.
The Blueprint Matt Morgan with a steel chair
Tomko with a board
Tomko’s board doesn’t hold up to the chair so Tomko bails
out of the ring and runs to the back with Morgan chasing him, chair in hand.
It’s still Styles and Angle in the ring. Angle catapults Styles into the steel
chair in the corner.
BG James with a steel chair
Kip James with a metal Dead End sign.
The James boys don’t bother to get into the ring, they
start their battle on the floor. BG nails Kip with the Dead End sign as Angle is
setting up a ladder in the ring. BG is chocking Kip with a chair as Styles sends
Angle into the ladder. Angle gets cut with the ladder somewhere on his head and
it’s a gusher. Angle delivers a suplex
Booker T with a bat
Samoa Joe with a security baton
Joe goes after Booker in the center of the ring but Angle
gets involved. Styles goes after Angle and we go to commercial break in the
middle of the match. Back to the ring, Morgan has reappeared in the ring, Angle
is still bleeding.
During the commercial break, Kip
James is eliminated by Matt Morgan
Kurt Angle is eliminated by AJ
AJ Styles is eliminated by Booker T
On the floor, Angle is still bleeding but he applies an ankle
lock to Styles. Tomko is back in the ring. The refs pull Angle off of Styles and
send Angle to the back, still bleeding. Morgan and Tomko are battling it out in
the ring but Booker gets involved.
Matt Morgan eliminated by Tomko and
Joe is back in the ring and he’s
Booker T is eliminated by Joe using
Tomko. It’s now
Joe delivers the muscle buster to Tomko and goes for the
cover to get the win.
Winner: Samoan Submission Machine
Samoa Joe with a muscle buster.
Joe grabs a mic to tell Booker that Joe will take his belt
back at Hard Justice and after he’s done with Booker, Sting is next. Sting’s
entrance theme begins and the lights go out while Joe stands in the ring. Sting
is in the rafters and the lights come back on.