August 4, 2008 – Recap by Sassy
Last week on Raw
In an Intergender Tag Team Match, Santino Marella &
The Glamazon Beth Phoenix
defeated D’Lo Brown & Kelly Kelly.
In a WWE World Tag Team Championship Match, Cody Rhodes
& Ted Dibiase retained their titles by defeating Jerry “The King” Lawler
& Michael Cole in 4 minutes. Hacksaw Jim Duggan was replaced by Michael Cole
at the insistence of the new Raw GM.
Kofi Kingston, WWE Intercontinental Champion, defeated
Jamie Noble with Layla in 2 minutes.
CM Punk, WWE World Heavyweight Champion, defeated
William Regal in 6 minutes.
Punk took a nasty hit to the face during the match.
Mickie James, WWE Women’s Champion, defeated Jillian
Hall in 4 minutes.
In a Tag Team Match, John Cena & Batista defeated
Kane & John Bradshaw Layfield in 9 minutes.
Monday Night Raw is broadcast on the USA network at the
University of Tennessee
Ringside announcers: Michael Cole & Jerry “The
Ring announcer: Lillian Garcia
Backstage interviews: Todd Grisham
Mike Adamle is at the top of the entrance ramp with a mic,
introducing himself as the new General Manager on Raw. Adamle is getting the
“you suck” chant from the audience. Adamle starts off by talking about
President Regan and says that first impressions can be deceiving and that
everybody in this world makes mistakes – like calling Jeff Hardy “Jeff
Harvey”. Adamle mentions the petitions on the WWE.com message boards asking
for Adamle’s resignation. Adamle brings up his football career. Has anyone
told Adamle this is wrestling? Adamle gets the audience’s attention when he
tells them there will be three championship matches tonight: Ted Dibiase &
Code Rhodes will defend their titles against John Cena & The Animal Dave
Batista for the World Tag Team Championship. John Bradshaw Layfield appears and
interrupts in order to kiss up to Adamle. JBL gets the same “you suck”
chants. Adamle hasn’t bothered to get rid of all the talk that opens Raw. JBL
wants Adamle to announce John Bradshaw Layfield versus CM Punk for the WWE
Heavyweight Championship at Summerslam. Before Adamle can respond, Chris Jericho
appears in suit and tie but JBL tells Jericho that this does not concern him but
Jericho says that he ended the career of Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels and
Jericho should be the one who gets the title match against Punk. Is this heading
where I think it’s heading? JBL
versus Jericho – again. We have a battle of egos on the mic between JBL and
Jericho. Adamle tells them to stop arguing and his idea is to have a 2 on 1
Handicap Match: Chris Jericho and JBL versus CM Punk. If either of them defeats
Punk, that wrestler will get the title match at Summerslam. If Punk wins,
neither of them will get a title match. We go to commercial break.
WWE Intercontinental Match
Kofi Kingston from Jamaica weighing 218 lbs.
Paul Burchill from Chelsea, England weighing 247 lbs.
With Katie Lea Burchill
Burchill can wrestle, he just chooses to work at beating down
his opponents. Kingston is very much an active risk taker but if he can’t stay
off the mat, he’s in trouble. Kingston goes for a cover but Burchill kicks out
at the count of two. Katie Lea grabs Kingston by the leg and distracts Kingston,
giving Burchill a chance to deliver a neck breaker. Burchill goes for the cover
and gets a two count before Kingston kicks out. Kingston goes for a roll up but
Burchill kicks out at the count of two. Burchill loses his temper and walks
right into a boot. Kingston takes to flying and delivers a cross body block but
he only gets a two count. Kingston delivers a trouble in paradise and gets the
three count. Time: 7:18 -
Winner and still WWE
Intercontinental Champion: Kofi Kingston with a trouble in paradise
After the match, Katie Lea gets in Kingston’s face,
Burchill charges but Kingston moves out of the way and Burchill goes through the
ropes to the floor. Burchill grabs Kingston by the leg and Kingston delivers a
double boot kick that sends Burchill flying backward and goes out after him,
chasing Burchill out of the arena. As Katie Lea stands in the ring, Mickie
James’ entrance theme begins, James enters the arena and we go to commercial
WWE Women’s Championship Match
Mickie James from Richmond, VA
Katie Lea Burchill from Chelsea, England
When we come back from commercial break, the match has
already begun and James appears to be in charge. James is great in the ring and
Burchill bails out of the ring trying to get out of the line of fire. James
charges out onto Burchill but the
darned referee backs James up and Burchill gets the upper hand. Burchill goes
for the cover but James gets a shoulder off the mat at the count of two.
Burchill applies a submission move but James isn’t giving up, she rolls over
and covers Burchill, getting a two count before Burchill kicks out. James is
back in the game, delivering a neck breaker and going for the cover but Burchill
kicks out at the count of two. Burchill delivers a jawbreaker and a suplex,
getting two count before James kicks out. James delivers a DDT and goes for the
cover, getting the three count. Time: 4 minutes.
Winner and still WWE Women’s
Champion: Mickie James
That may have been a short match but James and Burchill
worked hard. Burchill may just have what it takes to join the actual wrestling
females in the WWE. After the match, The Glamazon Beth Phoenix appears to
blindside James. James comes back but Phoenix delivers a slam, sending James
face first to the mat. Santino Marella appears at the top of the entrance ramp
to applaud for Phoenix. And we have our next love angle with some butt grabbing
going on. John Cena is backstage
with Shad & JTG of Cryme Tyme and we go to commercial break.
Mike Adamle is on the phone but Phoenix & Marella appear.
Marella wants both he and Phoenix to have title matches at Summerslam. Adamle
says there is room for only one championship match at Summerslam and the two of
them can decide. Marella and Phoenix can’t seem to decide. Adamle says at
Summerslam it will be Kofi Kingston & Mickie James will face Marella &
Phoenix for the Intercontinental and Women’s Championship.
Michael Cole introduces a video of John Cena. Todd Grisham is
backstage with The Animal Batista who has been watching Cena on the monitor.
Grisham wants to know about Batista’s match tonight. Batista says he has the
same advice for Cena this week that he had for him last week – stay out of
Batista’s way. We go to commercial break.
Layla is in the ring doing her dance thing and we see a video
of earlier in the day between Jamie Noble and Layla. Noble tells her that he has
made reservations for them at the waffle house for tonight but Layla says that
this “thing” between them isn’t working. Layla says that every time Noble
opens his mouth, he gets his butt kicked. Layla says she doesn’t date losers.
While Layla is finishing her dance in the ring, William Regal, in a suit,
appears and heads to the ring. Regal says that he has something to say. Regal
says that he has just come out to remind everyone that his name is William Regal
and he is The King because he won the King of the Ring Tournament. Jamie Noble
appears and heads toward the ring. Noble enters the ring and goes after Regal.
Three refs enter the ring to break them up but Noble is right back after Regal.
CM Punk is heading toward the arena and we go to commercial break.
2 on 1 Handicap Match
John Bradshaw Layfield from New York City
(who must be ashamed of his weight because it is never
Chris Jericho weighing 226 lbs.
CM Punk from Chicago, IL weighing 222 lbs.
WWE World Heavyweight Champion
I realize that the idea of this match is a good one, but
I’m sure Punk would argue that. Jerry Lawler informs the audience that Lance
Cade is not with Jericho tonight because Cade suffered a broken nose. Adamle
appears on the monitor and he says he forgot to mention that this match is
slated for 10 minutes and if no one wins in that amount of time, it becomes a
triple threat match for the championship at Summerslam. That is so not fair!
With a longer time frame, Jericho & JBL could kill each other and Punk could
stay out of the line of fire. The bell rings and it’s an argument between
Jericho & JBL so Punk goes after both of his opponents. Punk & Jericho
go after Punk and Punk is in trouble. Jericho goes over the rope and down to the
floor and it’s Punk and JBL in the ring. Punk comes off the ropes but gets
caught. JBL delivers a throwaway slam and goes for the cover but Punk kicks out
at the count of two. JBL has Punk down in the corner with the ref pulling JBL
out of the way. JBL delivers a neck breaker and again goes for the cover,
getting a two count before Punk kicks out. JBL goes out of the ring after
Jericho but Jericho sends Punk into the steel steps and Jericho is in the ring
going after Punk. Kick his butt, Punk! Punk is down and Jericho goes for the pin
getting a two count. Jericho has Punk in a headlock and the audience is cheering
for Punk. Punk is back to his feet but as he comes off the ropes, Jericho nails
him with a knee in the gut. Jericho comes off the second rope with a knee and
goes for the cover, getting another two count. Jericho goes back to the top
turnbuckle but Punk is back on his feet and he cuts Jericho off. Punk goes up to
the second rope but Jericho rakes the eyes and sends Punk down to the mat.
Jericho comes off the top and nails Punk with an elbow but Punk kicks out of the
cover. Jericho applies an abdominal stretch – come ON Punk, do SOMETHING! Punk
sends Jericho over to the mat but JBL is back in the ring and he goes after
Punk, delivers a clothesline and goes for the cover but Jericho pulls him off.
Jericho goes for the cover and now it’s Jericho and JBL fighting it out and
there is 4:01 left on the clock. JBL sends Jericho to the mat and sends Punk
head first into the announcer’s table. Jericho delivers a lionsault and goes
for the cover but JBL pulls Jericho out of the ring and slams him head first
into the steel steps. Everyone is back into the ring but it’s JBL and Jericho
battling it out. Punk comes off the ropes and catches JBL. Jericho charges but
Punk sidesteps Jericho and Jericho nails himself on the ropes. Punk goes after
Jericho and then JBL, delivering a bulldog. JBL and Jericho collide and Punk
delivers the GTS to JBL and goes to the cover but Jericho delivers a drop kick
to break the count at the count of two. Punk covers Jericho but Jericho kicks
out at the count of two. Jericho misses the dropkick as Punk comes off the
ropes, JBL gets sent to the floor, Punk goes for a roll up and Jericho kicks
out. Punk tries for a GTS but Jericho rakes the eyes and locks in the walls of
Jericho. Less than a minute – HOLD ON PUNK! Punk tries to get to the ropes but
Jericho pulls him back into the ring. JBL is back into the ring. JBL delivers a
kick to Jericho’s head and there’s 20 seconds left. Jericho hangs JBL up on
the ropes, but JBL falls backwards and lands on Punk, the ref counts to there
and JBL wins the match. Time: 10
Winner – if you can call that a win – John Bradshaw Layfield
who will face CM Punk at Summerslam
for the World Heavyweight
I’m not worried. Punk
can beat JBL. Punk needs to be able to pull every dirty trick he knows out for
that match because you know JBL isn’t going to work any match without
cheating. Punk vs. Jericho would be a better match. We go to commercial break.
The audience sees a video of Great American Bash match: Y2J
Chris Jericho vs. HBK Shawn Michaels. Michaels is on the monitor from his home
in San Antonio. Michaels says there was severe damage done to his eye and his
doctors are monitoring that. Michaels says that Jericho hasn’t ended
Michaels’ career. Michaels says
that for the last four months he has been wrestling with broken ribs and he has
suffered many injuries over the years. Michaels says that he will be at
Summerslam and announce what his future holds.
He says he will listen to his doctors and do what they tell him he needs
to do. We go to commercial break.
Matt Striker and his chalkboard are in the ring. Striker
thanks Adamle for allowing him to compete as a member of the Raw roster. Striker
says that he is sure Adamle will choose an appropriate opponent, and Big Red
Machine Kane enters the arena and heads to the ring.
Big Red Machine Kane
I don’t know if I should even bother to time this one.
Striker should have written S.O.S. on that blackboard. Striker does his best to
get over on Kane but his blows have no affect. Kane delivers a boot and sends
Striker into the corner. Kane delivers a sidewalk slam and goes up to the top
turnbuckle, coming off with a clothesline that sends and already reeling Striker
back to the mat. Striker is back to his feet and he walks into the choke slam
delivered by Kane. Kane goes for the cover and gets the three count. Time: 2
Winner: Big Red Machine Kane with a
That match lasted a minute longer than I thought it would.
Kane nears the announcer’s table and Lawler & Cole get to their feet. Kane
heads toward another table and the men sitting there bail out. Kane grabs a mic
and rolls back into the ring. Kane tells the fans he has been in a bad place
lately but he’s better now. Kane is holding up that bag again. Kane says
“he’s not alive, he’s dead”. Maybe next time Kane will tell the fans who
is referring to. We go to commercial break.
The audience sees a video of Batista. John Cena is backstage
watching the monitor. Grisham appears to ask Cena how he feels about his match
against Batista at Summerslam. Cena says that Cena vs. Batista is the ultimate
showdown for Summerslam. Cena could have been a preacher. We go to commercial
Adamle is in his office and Kelly Kelly appears to
congratulate Adamle on his job so far. Adamle says that everyone has been asking
what is inside Kane’s bag and next week Adamle is going to find out even if he
has to take the bag away from Kane to do it. Adamle then invites Kelly to watch
the main event with him.
WWE World Tag Team Championship
At a combined weight of 454 lbs.
WWE World Tag Team Champions
John Cena from MA weighing 220 lbs.
The Animal Batista from Washington, DC weighing 290 lbs.
Although I’m not certain it will happen, Cena & Batista
as tag team champions would be different. Unfortunately for them, Rhodes &
Dibiase are good wrestlers, even if they haven’t been with WWE as long. Cena
delivers a bulldog to Dibiase and goes for a cover but Dibaise kicks out at the
count of two. Cena tags in Batista and Dibiase tags in Rhodes. Batista comes out
with a show of power, shoving Rhodes across the ring. Rhodes comes back with a
knee to the abdomen and forearms. Rhodes tries for a roll up but Batista sends
Rhodes back to the corner. Batista delivers a back breaker and goes for the
cover getting a count of two. Batista tries to set up for a power bomb but
Dibiase is in the ring putting a stop to that. Rhodes sends Batista into the
corner, shoulder first and we go to commercial break in the middle of the main
event. Back to the action, Rhodes has Batista in an arm bar working on the arm
and shoulder Batista damaged going into the ring post. Batista works his way out
of the hold and tags in Cena. Cena takes down Rhodes and knocks Dibiase off of
the ring apron. Cena picks up Rhodes and slams him to the mat, then delivers the
five-knuckle shuffle. Dibiase blind tags when Rhodes is up on Cena’s shoulders
for the FU. Cena is outside on the floor with Rhodes working him over until the
ref breaks it up. Dibiase goes out to the floor and sends Cena into the steel
steps. Dibiase sends Cena back into the ring. Dibiase and Rhodes keep Cena away
from Batista. Dibiase goes for the cover but Cena kicks out at the count of two.
Dibiase tags in Rhodes and Rhodes goes for the cover getting a two count before
Cena powers out. Rhodes applies the sleeper hold to Cena. Cena tries to get to
the corner but Batista isn’t taking the tag. Dibiase comes in and helps Rhodes
pull Cena back in the ring. Rhodes goes for the cover but Cena gets a should off
the mat and Rhodes tags in Dibiase. Dibiase applies the sleeper hold on Cena and
Cena is trying to power out of the hold. He does, sends Dibiase into the ropes
and applies the sleeper hold to Dibiase but Rhodes breaks it up. Cena walks over
to the corner and slaps Batista in the face. The ref gets in the middle as
Batista goes after Dibiase. Batista sends Rhodes down to the floor and delivers
a spine buster to Dibiase. He catches Dibiase with a spear. As Rhodes tries to
enter the ring, Cena knocks Rhodes out of the ring and Batista goes for the
cover, getting the three count. Time: 12 minutes.
Winners and new WWE World Heavyweight Champions:
The Animal Batista & John
After the match, Batista is complaining about being slapped
in the face. Cena holds up his title belt to the roar of the crowd and then
Batista holds up his title belt to the roar of the crowd. Cena holds up his
title with both hands to the roar of the crowd and then Batista does the same.
We have another battle of egos, this time seeing who can get the loudest cheers
from the crowd. I can’t tell who is winning.