July 31, 2008 –
Recap by Sassy
Last week on iMPACT
In a four-way match, Consequences Creed defeated Jimmy
Rave with Lance Hoyt & Christy Hemme & Johnny Devine & Showtime Eric
Young in 5 minutes.
The Blueprint Matt Morgan defeated Kory Chavis in 2
In a Tag Team Strap Match, Cowboy James Storm &
Robert Roode of Beer Money with Jacqueline defeated Chris Sabin & Alex
Shelley of the Motor City Machine Guns in 8 minutes.
Taylor Wilde retained her TNA Women’s Championship by
defeating Velvet Sky three times.
In a six-man elimination match, Kurt Angle &
Brother Ray & Brother Devon of Team 3D defeated War Machine Rhino & The
Instant Classic Christian Cage & Phenomenal AJ Styles in 12 minutes.
iMPACT is broadcast from Universal Studios, Orlando, FL on
the Spike TV Network
Ringside announcers: Mike Tenay and Don West
Ring announcer: David Penzer
Ringside valet: SoCal Val
Backstage interviews: Jeremy Borash and Lauren
The show opens with Booker T and Sharmell in Booker’s
dressing room with Jeremy Borash. I
wish TNA would decide whether they are running a wrestling organization or a
strip club. Sharmell’s dress was the worst I have ever seen.
Are she and Karen Angle in competition for who can show their boobs on
national television first contest? Throwing
crap like this into the show gives it even less of a professional wrestling look
that it had before – and I am not bragging….I am complaining.
Number One Contender’s Match
For the TNA Tag Team Championship
Cowboy James Storm
With The Pride of Tennessee Jacqueline
Beer Money, Inc.
War Machine Rhino from Detroit, MI
The Instant Classic Christian Cage from Tampa, FL by way
of Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Referee: Earl Hebner
The bell rings and Rhino faces Roode to begin the match.
Rhino goes for an early cover but Roode kicks out. Rhino tags in Cage and
there’s a little bit of double-teaming before Cage comes off the turnbuckle to
take Roode down to the mat. Cage goes for the cover and gets a two count before
tagging in Rhino. Storm nails Rhino and tags in Storm. Rhino goes to work on
Storm with punches to the face and head. Rhino tags in Cage. Storm pokes Cage in
the eyes but Cage fights back and brings him off the top turnbuckle, then goes
for the cover but Storm gets a shoulder off the mat. Storm tags in Roode. Cage
sends both opponents over the top rope and Rhino comes around to deliver a few
shots while Storm & Roode are out on the floor. Storm spits beer in Cage’s
eyes and Roode sends Cage off the ring apron and into the guardrail and we go to
commercial break in the middle of the match. Back to the ring, Roode & Storm
are double-teaming Cage and they deliver a suplex before Roode goes for the
cover but Cage kicks out. Cage comes back and delivers a DDT off the top
turnbuckle. Both men are down on the canvas and Jacqueline is pounding on the
ring apron. Cage tags in Rhino as Roode tags in Storm but Rhino hits the ring
and takes on both of them. Rhino catches Storm in a spine buster and goes for
the cover but Roode enters the ring to break it up. Cage comes into the ring and
takes out Roode. Cage is in the ring but Brother Ray shows up and Cage goes out
after Ray. Rhino takes on Johnny Devine who has a kendo stick but Rhino manages
to catch Storm with a gore and goes for the cover. Brother Devon appears to pull
the referee out of the ring and into the guardrail. Devon goes in after Rhino
but Cage is back in the ring and it’s two on one with Devon getting a beat
down. Now it’s a big cluster **** and the ref is up in time to save Jacqueline
when she interferes in the match. One of Beer Money got the win but it was too
much of a mess for me to even watch the end. What I considered actual match
time: 6 minutes.
Robert Roode & Cowboy James Storm with Jacqueline of Beer Money, Inc.
I don’t have anything against stables but this is going
just a little overboard. After the match, Rhino is still down but Cage is going
to save the day – CAGE HAS A MIC IN HIS HAND! He tells Team 3D they aren’t
going to screw with them anymore. It will be a New Jersey Street Fight with Team
3D against Cage & Rhino. Ray looks a little upset but Devon is all smiles at
the thought of a Street Fight. We go to commercial break
Lauren is backstage with Jimmy Rave & Christy Hemme.
I’m not sure what that was about.
Six Man Tag Team Contest
Johnny Devine from Calgary, Alberta, Canada
The Rock ‘n Rave Infection
With Christy Hemme
Curry Man from Japan
Shark Boy from the Deep Blue Sea
Black Machismo Jay Lethal from Elizabeth, NJ
With SoCal Val
Referee: Andrew Thomas
I thought Val was mad at Lethal. Before the bell rings,
it’s a brawl in the ring. Shark Boy seems to have a lot more fun since he
stopped being Mr. Nice Guy. Finally it is Rave against Curry. Can someone explain to me why Lance Rock has a tramp stamp?
This match is moving fast and when Lethal hits the ring the audience involvement
picks up. We’re back to six men in the ring at the same time again. Curry
sends Shark over the top rope to take down Rock & Rave. Lethal hits Devine
with the lethal combination to get the three count and the win. Time: 4 minutes.
Black Machismo Jay Lethal & Shark Boy & Curry Man
This was a decent match for the allotted time. Lethal calls
Val into the ring to propose to Val again. He drops to one knee and then notices
that her engagement ring is missing. Val tells Lethal that she lost the ring but
Lethal says he can take a hint and that she never wanted to marry him in the
first place. He leaves her standing in the ring and heads to the back.
JB is backstage with (I didn’t hear what his name was).
Super Eric appears and says that they must find the ring and save the love
because a marriage hangs in the balance and we go to commercial break.
Samoan Submission Machine Samoa Joe is backstage with Samoa
Joe. JB says that Booker says he will have the six sides of steel set up tonight
because he wants to give Joe a personal tour of the cage before their next big
match. Joe says he hopes that Sting shows up with Booker tonight so he can take
them both out. Mike Tenay introduces a video of the history between Booker and
Joe. JB is backstage with Big Sexy Kevin Nash. JB asks Nash to talk to Joe and
calm him down. Joe says that every time he gets close to Booker, Sting is in the
way. Nash tells Joe he has his back but they have to have a plan and Joe says
they will do it Nash’s way. We go to commercial break.
Booker enters the six sides of steel with belt and mic in
hand. Booker announces that he is in his six sides of steel and his weapons.
Booker says that tonight he will prove just how much of a gentleman he is by
inviting him out to the ring but he wants Joe to know that he’s the man and he
promises that the lights will not go out tonight. Joe enters the arena and heads
to the ring. Joe has been making a habit of coming to the ring through the
audience and not via the entrance ramp. Joe has a mic and he tells Booker that
he will give Booker a tour and if he gets in the cage, he will beat the hell out
of Booker. Booker says that then the lights will go out but Joe says that the
lights that go out will be Booker’s. Joe enters the cage and the audience
begins the “Joe’s gonna kill you” chant. Nash appears at ringside at hold
the door as Booker starts to back up. Joe has a security baton in his hand and
as Booker tries to talk to Joe again, Joe goes on the attack. Sharmell appears
down the entrance ramp and heads to the ring. Sharmell beats on Nash and Nash
takes her out of the area but Joe has turned around to watch and a bat comes
down from the rafters. Booker takes the bat and nails Joe in the back of the
head. The camera pans in the rafters but Sting is nowhere in sight. Phenomenal
AJ Styles and three referees are in the ring with Joe and we go to commercial
Styles is in the six sides of steel and he has a mic in his
hand. Styles addresses Sting. Styles complains that he has been on Sting’s
side for three weeks and now he wants to know what is going on with Sting.
Styles calls Sting a coward and the lights go out but when the lights come back
on, Kurt Angle is in the ring. Angle blindsides Styles and delivers an Olympic
slam. Are we going to have any more matches tonight? The build up for the next pay per view is getting a little
boring. JB is backstage with Shark Boy, Curry Man, Angelina Love & Velvet
Sky. Shark & Curry are there to look for Val’s ring. We go to commercial
Lauren is backstage with Maple Leaf Muscle Petey Williams and
Rhaka Khan. Williams will be facing Consequences Creed in the ring tonight.
Consequences Creed from Atlanta, GA
Maple Leaf Muscle from Ontario, Canada
TNA X-Division Champion
With Rhaka Khan
Referee: Slick Johnson
Hermie Sadler has joined Don West & Mike Tenay at
ringside as a guest commentator. The bell rings and Williams sends Creed to the
mat. Creed returns the favor. Creed seems to be a big fan favorite in this match
up. Creed goes for the cover and gets a two count. Creed goes for a second cover
and again gets a two count. Creed delivers a bulldog by spring boarding off the
top rope again going for a cover and again getting a two count. Creed ends up on
the floor and William comes off the top rope to deliver a hurricanrana on the
floor. Back in the ring, Williams goes for a cover and gets a two count.
Williams delivers a dropkick and again goes for the cover but Creed kicks out at
the count of two. Creed delivers a drop kick and takes Williams down to the mat.
Creed has Williams on his shoulders, but Khan is up on the ring apron. As
Williams charges at Creed, Creed sends Williams into Khan, picks up Williams and
slams him to the mat. Creed goes for a cover and gets another two count. Creed
misses a leg drop off the top turnbuckle, Williams goes for the Canadian
Destroyer, Creed does a quick switch, goes for the roll up and gets the three
count. Time: 5 minutes.
Winner: Consequences Creed with a
Petey Williams is a great ring performer but Consequences
Creed is all showman and has the ability and the agility to back it up. I’m
looking for a major push for Creed in the near future.
JB is backstage with Shark & Curry who are trying to find
out if LAX has Val’s ring. Super
Eric shows up and says there has been a break in the case and we go to
Lauren is backstage with Styles. She wants to know if Sting
was involved in what happened to Styles tonight. Styles says that he was and he
is going to take out Sting and he wants to take out Angle but he wants Angle in
a Last Man Standing Match.
Jim Cornette has joined Tenay & West at the announcer’s
table to preview Hard Justice, TNA’s next pay per view. I will not be
purchasing the ppv, but will provide the winners of the match at the next
iMPACT. Now it’s Karen’s Angle with Kaz and I skipped it. Tomko appears at
the end of the show to say he’s there to make her life a living hell and
unfortunately for TNA fans, Tomko has parted ways with TNA and gone to work in
Japan. We got to commercial break.
Lauren is backstage with Nash. She asks Nash about Sting and
what is going on with Sting right now. Joe appears to tell Nash that he is going
to find Sting and he is going to break every bone in Sting’s body.
The Blueprint Matt Morgan from CT
Sal Rinauro (already in the ring)
Referee: Shane Sewell
These matches remind me of someone else somewhere else who is
doing short matches to show how bad he is. Morgan delivers an elevator and gets
the three count. Time: 1 minute.
Winner: Matt Morgan with an elevator
Morgan has a mic. He addresses Tomko. Morgan calls out Tomko.
Tomko appears and heads to the ring. Tomko takes off his shirt but security
appears. Tomko shoves Morgan and it’s on in the middle of the ring.
Security breaks them up but it doesn’t last as Tomko gets in another
shot before exiting the ring. Morgan calls Tomko back into the ring and as soon
as Morgan turns his back, Tomko charges back into the ring and Morgan delivers a
boot to Tomko’s face. Morgan picks Tomko up and delivers an elevator. The
non-match was longer than the actual match. The Brotherhood of Justice is
backstage with JB. Super Eric has proved by watching last week’s match that
The Guru Sonjay Dutt has stolen Val’s ring. We go to commercial break.
JB is backstage with Team 3D and Beer Money. Ray says that
they are all the best of friends. Ray says that Christian Cage and Rhino
aren’t going to get a title shot but next week Team 3D and Beer Money are
facing LAX, Cage and Rhino in a No DQ match. Rough Cut with Taylor Wilde with
phone interview from her trainer, Bill DeMott.
Tag Team Match
Gail Kim from Tampa, FL
Taylor Wilde from Ontario, Canada
TNA Women’s Champion
Referee: Rudy Charles
Wilde is starting to fascinate me when she is in the ring.
Wilde and Kim might make a great tag team. As the camera shows Joe heading up to
the rafters, we go to commercial break. Back to the action, Kim is in trouble in
the ring. A double team by the Beautiful People and Love goes for a cover but
Kim gets a shoulder up at the count of two. Another double team and Love gets
another two count. Kim delivers a counter move and both women are down on the
mat. Kim tags in Wilde as Love tags in Sky. Wilde takes on Love and Sky, goes
for the bridge on Sky but Love breaks it up and now all four women are in the
ring. Love sends Kim out to the floor, Love delivers a kick, Sky goes for the
cover but she only gets a two count before Wilde kicks out. Wilde goes for a
roll up on Sky and gets the three count. Time: 6 minutes.
Winners: Taylor Wilde & Gail Kim
After the match, Love & Sky go after Wilde in the ring
but Kim is back in the ring. Awesome Kong with Raisha Saeed appears to go after
Wilde & Kim. After Kong takes out both Kim and Wilde, ODB appears to take on
Kong, Roxxi appears to the ring with a steel chair. Kong sees the chair and
bails out of the ring. Traci Brooks is on the opposite ramp.
Joe is in the upper area of the building looking for Sting
and the camera is with him. There is a black bird…is it a crow?