July 24, 2008 –
Recap by Sassy
Last week on iMPACT
In an X Division Championship Match, Maple Leaf Muscle
Petey Williams with Rhaka Khan retained his title by defeating Kaz in 5 minutes.
Matt Morgan squashed Jimmy Rave representing Rock ‘n
Rave Infection with Christy Hemme in less than 1 minute. Morgan followed up by
defeating Rave’s tag team partner, Lance Hoyt who has legally changed his name
to Lance Rock.
In a women’s Gauntlet Match for the Number One
Contender for the Women’s Title, Velvet Sky defeated The Pride of Tennessee
Jacqueline, Gail Kim, Angelina Love, Salinas representing LAX, Roxxi, Rhaka
Khan, Traci, Christy Hemme & O.D.B. in 12 minutes.
In a Three Way Match, The Guru Sonjay Dutt defeated
Eric Young & Johnny Devine in 2 minutes.
In the Main Event Stretcher Match, Booker T defeated
Consequences Creed in 5 minutes.
YOU SEE HIM,
iMPACT is broadcast from Universal Studios, Orlando, FL on
the Spike TV Network
Ringside announcers: Mike Tenay and Don West
Ring announcer: David Penzer
Ringside valet: SoCal Val
Backstage interviews: Jeremy Borash, Crystal Loutham and
The show opens with Samoan Submission Machine Samoa Joe
entering the ring with mic in hand. Big Sexy Kevin Nash meets him at the
entrance to the ring, which is surrounded by a six-sided steel cage. Joe tells
the fans and Booker T that he has a proposition. At Hard Justice, Joe wants a No
DQ Steel Cage Match. Booker appears at the top of the entrance ramp accompanied
by Sharmell. Sharmell seems to have gone back to good taste in clothing. Booker
complains about Joe interrupting his backstage time. Booker wants to add tables,
ladders and chairs to the match at Hard Justice. Booker says he will have a
contract later on tonight for Booker to sign. Booker tells Joe to be very afraid
of the dark. Jeremy Borash is backstage with Phenomenal AJ Styles, Instant
Classic Christian Cage and War Machine Rhino. He asks them about their match
tonight against Kurt Angle and Team 3D with perhaps Sting showing up to help out
their opponents tonight. Styles says that Sting won’t interfere in their match
and he is sure there was a reason for him to lay out Joe at the last pay per
view. Cage says if Sting shows up, Sting will be the first one that gets taken
out. Rhino tells Styles not to get sucked
in and we go to commercial break.
The audience sees a video of Sting’s career. Sting seems to
have returned to the TNA ring and not necessarily in a good way.
Four Way Match
Jimmy Rave representing the Rock ‘n Rave Infection
With Lance Hoyt & Christy Hemme
Consequences Creed from Atlanta, GA
Johnny Devine from Calgary, Alberta, Canada
Showtime Eric Young residing at an undisclosed location
Referee: Rudy Charles
Young gets the biggest pop from the live audience but Creed
has the showmanship stuff down pat. Creed takes on Devine as Young goes after
Rave. Rave sends Young out to Hoyt on the floor. Creed sends Devine out to the
floor and takes on Rave. Some nice moves by Rave and he goes for the cover but
only gets a two count. Young is taken out by Rave on the ring apron. Creed goes
for a dive but Hoyt ends up in the ring after Creed. Creed takes out Hoyt and
goes for a dive over the top rope taking out Devine and Rave. Young is in the
ring with Rave but Devine is back in the ring. Young takes them both on but only
to get dropped on the ring apron by Devine. Creed goes for a bridge roll up to
Rave but can’t get the three count. Rave drops Creed and goes for the cover
but Young is back in the ring to break it up. Young goes for a cover but Devine
interrupts the count. Devine goes for the cover and Creed is back in the ring to
break it up. Creed goes for the roll up and gets the three count before Rave can
break it up. Time: 5 minutes.
Winner: Consequences Creed with a
No matter how much you dislike Rave he does have some great
moves that coming shining through now and then in a match. Creed looks to be
someone who could be working his way to the top in short order. After the match,
Devine goes after Creed and Rave decides to assist. Hoyt enters the ring as
Devine brings a chair into the ring. To the rescue comes Monster Abyss who
clears the ring but refuses to use the steel chair. I wonder when the super
powers will be asking Abyss to join them in their pursuit of good in the iMPACT
JB is in the back with Angle and Ray & Devon of Team 3D.
JB asks them how they feel about the six-man tables match tonight. Ray brags
that Sting is now one of them. Ray calls Angle the biggest scumbag of the group.
Devon says that Sting will be here tonight and Sting will shock the world. We go
to commercial break.
The audience sees a video of Kaz’s TNA career. Kaz on Karen
Angle’s new talk show is next. I skipped it. Not the video, just the talk.
I’ve seen enough talk and only one match. We go to commercial break.
The Blueprint Matt Morgan
Kory Chavis (already in the ring)
Referee: Slick Johnson\
Chavis begins the match by getting in Morgan’s face, which
is probably not the best way to start a match against someone so much larger
than you are. Morgan is not intimidated and Chavis pays for mouthing off. The
audience is all about Morgan. Chavis tries to fight back but Morgan sends a boot
to the face and Chavis is down again. Morgan delivers a backdrop and goes for
the cover getting the three count. Time: 2 minutes.
Matt Morgan with a backdrop.
Lauren is backstage with Chris Sabin & Alex Shelley who
will be facing Beer Money tonight. Sabin insults The Cowboy James Storm and
Robert Roode but they do compliment Jacqueline, well, sort of. Sabin and Shelley
have masks. I’m not sure when
they started wearing those. We go to commercial break.
The Prince Justice Brotherhood, consisting of Super Eric,
Curry Man and Shark Boy, is in the back with Lauren. They are attempting to come
up with a new motto. Super Eric comes up with the new motto “We come in peace,
they leave in pieces”. Shark Boy really wanted the motto to be “Shell
Yeah” but he agrees with Super Eric’s idea.
Tag Team Strap Match
Cowboy James Storm
Motor City Machine Guns
Referee: Shane Sewell
We go to commercial break before the match begins. The bell
rings with Shelley strapped to Storm and Sabin strapped to Roode. Roode and
Sabin end up on the floor. Sabin sends Roode into the guardrail and the referee
is having problems keeping track of who is where. Sabin has Roode come back into
the ring and he goes for a cover but he can’t get the three count. Sabin &
Shelley go for submission holds but Jacqueline interferes at ringside. Sabin and
Shelley are working over Storm & Roode in the beginning of the match.
Jacqueline again interferes and this time the interference allows Storm &
Roode to take over control of the match. Storm goes for a cover but Shelley
kicks out. Roode delivers a dropkick and Storm goes for the cover but Shelley
kicks out. Sabin & Shelley again manage to gain control of their opponents
and this time they show the fans some of their great timing. They form a star in
the middle of the ring and Jacqueline ends up in the middle. The ref tries to
get her out of the ring but Storm makes sure the ref gets knocked out of the
ring. Jacqueline hands Storm handcuffs, he uses them as a weapon. Storm nails
Sabin and the ref is back in the ring in time to deliver the count. Time: 8
Winners: Cowboy James Storm with the
use of handcuffs & Robert Roode of Beer Money with Jacqueline
After the match, you know the drill. Roode & Storm use
the handcuffs on their opponents in order to beat them down with the straps.
To the rescue is Homicide & Hernandez of LAX with Salinas. LAX clears
the ring. We go to commercial break.
TNA Women’s Championship Match
With Angelina Love
Taylor Wilde from Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Referee: Rudy Charles
Sky has her back to Wilde as she talks to Love on the apron
ring. Wilde goes for the roll up and gets the three count. Time: Under 1 minute
(the announcer said it was 5 seconds).
Winner and still TNA Women’s
Champion: Taylor Wilde
Believe me, it gets worse. Sky is complaining that it
wasn’t fair and she wasn’t ready and that she didn’t hear the bell ring.
She wants another match. So, Wilde gives her another match.
As Wilde rolls back into the ring, Sky catches her on the
mat. Love tries to grab Wilde’s leg, but she misses and Wilde goes for the
roll up, getting the win. Time: Under 1 minute (the announcer said it was a
total of 25 seconds for both matches).
Winner and still TNA Women’s
Champion: Taylor Wilde
And one to go…as Love gets in the ring to complain about
what just happened. Love bets her five grand that she won’t face Sky again in
Wilde heads back to the ring and pulls Sky out to the floor.
Wilde rolls Sky back into the ring but she misses a leap off the second rope and
Sky goes for a cover but Wilde kicks out. Sky goes for another cover and gets a
two count. Sky sends Wilde out to the floor so Love can beat on Wilde on the
floor as Sky keeps the ref distracted. Sky goes out to the floor and slams
Wilde’s head into the ring apron before sending her back into the ring. Sky
again goes for a cover and again Wilde kicks out at the count of two. Sky has a
submission hold applied but she bites Wilde on the arm and gets caught by the
ref. Sky delivers a clothesline and gets a two count. Sky delivers a face plant
but can’t get to Wilde in time to get the cover. Wilde delivers a few
clotheslines and a dropkick as Sky comes off the ropes. Wilde delivers a monkey
flip and stomps on Love’s hand on the ring apron. Wilde goes for a bridge
cover but Love enters the ring and the ref rings the bell. Time: 5 minutes.
Winner and still TNA Women’s
Champion: Taylor Wilde by DQ
After the match, Love continues to beat on Wilde and the
audience is calling for O.D.B. Wilde gets the brown bag treatment but Gail Kim
and O.D.B. appear to aid Wilde. They clear the ring and help Wilde to her feet.
I should mention that O.D.B. appeared with a turkey leg in her hand.
The audience sees a video of the wrestler formerly known as
Daivari who has changed his name to Sheik Abdul Bashir. Please don’t expect me
to spell that correctly every time. We go to commercial break.
JB is at the hospital with The Guru Sonjay Dutt and SoCal Val
and the little gurus. Dutt wants to know if she saw the replay but she says that
she hates violence. Dutt thinks he has a chance but the doctor interrupts by
bringing in the bedpan.
Six-man Tables Elimination Match
War Machine Rhino
Instant Classic Christian Cage
Phenomenal AJ Styles
Referee: Earl Hebner
We go to commercial break before the match begins. The match
begins and everyone is on the floor. Styles slams Ray’s head into the
guardrail, Cage drags Angle back into the ring and Rhino is facing off with
Devon in the audience area. Cage and Angle are making it a boxing match until
Cage delivers a should block off the second rope. Cage goes for the unprettier,
Angle goes for the ankle lock, Cage kicks out of the hold. Angle and Cage are
back on the floor as Ray and Styles hit the ring. Styles delivers a dropkick and
takes him out with a cross body block over the top rope. Devon and Rhino are
still in the audience area. Rhino gets slammed into the wall as Cage and Angle
are fighting off the entrance ramp. Devon is choking Rhino with a cable. Cage
and Styles are in the ring working on Angle in the ring, delivering a double
suplex. Devon and Ray are back in the ring, delivering a 3D to Rhino. Ray and
Devon roll out to grab tables out from under the ring. Cage and Styles deliver a
dropkick sending the table into Ray and Devon. Styles has a table in the ring
and has it set up but Ray is back on his feet. Rhino moves the table before
Styles can be sent through. Devon drags Rhino out of the ring and slams him into
the steel steps. Ray now has the table set up and Devon and Ray have Styles in
the ring. Ray has Styles on the table but Cage enters the ring to stop Devon
from diving into Styles. Cage and Rhino send Devon into the table.
Devon eliminated by Cage & Rhino.
Someone sends a trashcan into the ring and Rhino delivers a
gore to Ray. Angle enters the ring and takes everyone out with a steel chair and
we go to commercial break in the middle of the match. Back to the action, Ray
and Angle are working on Cage. During the commercial break,
Rhino eliminates himself by going through a table.
Cage sends Ray to the floor and goes after Angle. Cage goes
out to the floor to bring in another table. Cage sets up the table and moves it
closer to the ropes. Angle is back to his feet and Cage has him on the table.
Cage goes to the top but Devon delivers a low blow to Cage as Devon and Ray
deliver a 3D, sending Cage through the table while Angle keeps the ref occupied.
The previously eliminated Devon and Ray eliminate Cage
It’s now two on one with Styles fighting back against Ray
and Angle. Styles delivers a pele and sends Ray crashing to the canvas. One of
the fans outside the ring tells Angle to put Ray in a body bag. Intense little
guy out there in the seats. Devine appears and tries to throw powder into Styles
face but catches Ray instead. Ray puts Devine through the table by mistake.
Styles kicks Ray out of the ring, and sends Angle into Ray, sending him onto a
table outside the ring. The ref gets knocked out.
Ray eliminated by Styles with a little assist from Angle.
Styles has Angle down on the mat and he goes out to bring
another table into the ring. Styles sets up the table and the ref is still down
in the ring. Styles sets Angle up on the table. Styles goes out to climb up to
the top but Frank Trigg appears to nail Styles with a kendo stick, allowing
Angle to send Styles through the table. Time: 12 minutes.
Winner: Kurt Angle with a whole lot
of cheating going on
How many wrestlers does it take to beat Phenomenal AJ
Styles? Let’s see, I counted FIVE
and two of them weren’t even in the match and one of them had already been
eliminated. ! If someone doesn’t kick Trigg’s butt soon I’m going
to be upset. I don’t care who beats him or how, but Trigg needs a dose of some
heavy duty wrestling medicine. Booker is
heading to the ring with the title belt over his shoulder. We go to commercial
Booker enters the ring accompanied by Sharmell.
Joe enters the ring accompanied by Nash. I don’t think I have to remind
everyone who is getting the loudest pop here. Joe is still a TNA fan favorite.
Booker says he has the contract for Joe to sign but Booker says that Joe can’t
beat him. Booker says the contract has a few stipulations:
tables, ladders, chairs, anything that will mess Joe up. Booker tells Joe
to tell Nash to get out of the ring because it’s none of Nash’s business.
Joe tells Booker that since he wants Booker to be comfortable, he will send Nash
to the back but Joe wants his bat wielding witch of a wife to go to the back
too. After a little lip lock, Sharmell leaves the ring. Nash then leaves the
ring. Booker signs the contract and then hands it to Joe. Joe takes the contract
and the lights go out. Booker has the bat in his hand and Joe is on the mat.