July 28, 2008 – Recap by Sassy
Last week on Raw
Lance Cade defeated Paul London in 3 minutes.
The Glamazon Beth Phoenix defeated Kelly Kelly in 3
In a six-man tag team rematch from last week, John Cena
and Shad & JTG of Cryme Tyme defeated John Bradshaw Layfield and Cody Rhodes
& Ted Dibiase, WWE World Tag Team Champions in 11 minutes.
In an Intergender Tag Team match, Katie Lea and Paul
Burchill defeated Mickie James, WWE Women’s Champion and Kofi Kingston, WWE Intercontinental Champion, in 4
D’Lo Brown defeated Santino Marella in one minute.
In the Main Event, WWE World Heavyweight Championship
Match, CM Punk retained the title against The Animal Batista when John Bradshaw
Layfield interfered in the match with actual match time of 10 minutes.
Monday Night Raw is broadcast on the USA network from
Ringside announcers: Michael Cole & Jerry “The
Ring announcer: Lillian Garcia
Backstage interviews: Todd Grisham
John Cena appears in the ring to tell everyone that he
didn’t mean to hit Batista last week and asks him to come to the ring so they
can settle it. Batista comes to the ring and says that he understands that Cena
didn’t mean to hit him and that he watched the video of what happened last
week. Batista tells Cena that when he wins the championship from CM Punk at
Summerslam, Cena will get the first shot at the title. Cena tells Batista that
he’s already had his two title shots and that he probably wouldn’t get
another shot. Batista tells Cena that Punk can’t beat him and neither can Cena.
Cena says that there is no order on Raw and that Cena and Batista should
headline Wrestlemania but Wrestlemania should happen tonight and that tonight it
should be John Cena versus Batista. Batista agrees but Shane McMahon appears at
the top of the entrance ramp. McMahon says they have found a new General Manager
for Raw and that that person will be introduced later tonight. Tonight CM Punk
will be in action. Cena will be facing the tag team of JBL and his partner Kane.
Cena’s tag team partner will be Batista. We go to commercial break.
Intergender Tag Team Match
Kelly Kelly from Jacksonville, FL
D’Lo Brown from Chicago, IL weighing 268 lbs.
Santino Marella from Italy weighing 225 lbs.
The Glamazon Beth Phoenix from Buffalo, NY
The audience is reminded about the “tender moment”
between Marella & Phoenix last week. Brown goes for an early cover but
Marella kicks out. Marella delivers a neck breaker but can’t pick Brown up.
Phoenix gets mad and tags herself in. SHE
picks up Brown but Brown tags in Kelly. Phoenix delivers a back breaker but
Marella asks for the tag. Phoenix tags in Marella but he misses an elbow drop.
Marella delivers a blow to Brown to send him off the ring apron, goes for the
cover and gets the three count.
Winners: Santino Marella & The
Glamazon Beth Phoenix
After the match we have another, er, um, tender moment before
Phoenix leaves the ring. We go to commercial break.
McMahon is backstage with John Bradshaw Layfield. JBL asks
how Mr. McMahon is doing but McMahon wants to know how he can help JBL. JBL
wants a heavyweight championship match and Batista doesn’t deserve another
chance and Cena is laughable. JBL says that he is the one that should face Punk
for the title. McMahon tells JBL to take it up with the new Raw GM. JBL argues
that McMahon owns the company but McMahon says that the new GM will handle it.
WWE World Tag Team Championship
Hacksaw Jim Duggan from NY weighing 270 lbs.
Jerry “The King” Lawler from Memphis, TN weighing 234
Lillian Garcia says that the match has been changed by order
of the new GM, Lawler will not be teaming with Duggan. Lawler’s new partner
will be Michael Cole. And this new GM is already an idiot.
We go to commercial break.
At a combined weight of 454 lbs.
WWE World Tag Team champions
Lawler may be doing this all on his own. I’m not sure Cole
has ever been in a wrestling match in his life and, of course, we now have no
announcers for the match. Dibiase faces off with Lawler. Dibiase won’t listen
to the referee and Lawler slaps him. Dibiase takes Lawler down with a
clothesline and then tags in Rhodes. They try a double team but Lawler is one
step ahead of them. The ref is busy trying to keep everyone out of the corners.
Rhodes delivers a face plant and goes for the cover but Lawler kicks out at the
count of two. Cole is on the ring apron looking worried. Rhodes goes up to the
second rope and dives off but Lawler gets out of the way and Rhodes meets the
mat. Dibiase enters the ring and Lawler takes him down but when Lawler tries to
set up Rhodes, Dibiase intervenes. Lawler backs up into the corner and Rhodes
tells the ref that Lawler tagged. The ref tells Cole to get in the ring and
Rhodes sends Lawler out to the floor, before he drags Cole into the ring. Cole
tries to fight back but Rhodes sends him to the mat and goes for the cover to
get the win. Time: 4 minutes.
Winners and still WWE World Tag Team
Champions: Cody Rhodes & Ted Dibiase
I hesitate to call this a match since one of the men in the
ring was not a professional wrestler. We go to commercial break.
Mike Adamle has taken Cole’s place at ringside and he is
joined with Lawler. Adamle says that he got a call last week from WWE corporate
telling him to be in Washington, DC today.
Jamie Noble is in the ring with Layla and he says that he is
there to prove that he should be the next Intercontinental Champion and he
challenged Kofi Kingston to a match tonight. He calls out Kingston.
Kofi Kingston from Jamaica weighing 215 lbs
WWE Intercontinental Champion
Noble is good but he’s going to have a tough time keeping
Kingston from those high kicks that he uses. It doesn’t take long for Kingston
to take Noble down to the mat. Kingston comes off the ropes with a cross body
block and goes for the cover but he can’t get the three count. Kingston
delivers a high kick and goes for the cover to get the three count and the win.
Time: 2 minutes.
Winner: Kofi Kingston
We go to commercial break.
JBL has joined Lawler & Adamle at ringside to watch the
CM Punk from Chicago, IL weighing 222 lbs.
WWE World Heavyweight Champion
William Regal from Blackpool, England weighing 240 lbs.
Regal has returned from his recent wellness policy
suspension. Regal has a new “look” in his outfit. Regal shows the fans that
he can and does wrestle. We know that Punk can wrestle. Regal manages to draw
first blood. Punk looks like he’s losing quite a bit of blood and Regal
doesn’t let up. Punk delivers the GTS and gets the three count. Time: 6
Winner: CM Punk with a GTS
I don’t think I’ve ever seen Punk bleed like that.
I should have covered more of the match but I was a little worried about
Punk. Regal did a great job in his first match since his return to Raw. After
the match, JBL says he is going to the ring to see just how good Punk is and he
enters the ring with Punk but Kane appears at the top of the entrance ramp and
heads toward the ring. Kane takes down JBL, Punk delivers a high kick to Kane
but JBL catches Punk with a boot and Punk is down on the mat. Kand and Punk face
each other in the ring and we go to commercial break.
Y2J Chris Jericho heads to the ring with Lance Cade for
Jericho’s final Highlight Reel. Cade looks a little lost and confused. Jericho
says that because he will never do anything that the fans want again and that is
why this will be his last Highlight Reel. Jericho plays a video of Y2J. Cade,
who has been standing in the ring looking confused, takes the mic and says that
he appreciates Jericho even if the fans do not. Cade says that Jericho saved
him. Jericho addresses Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels. He tells Michaels to stay
home and raise his children. The fans drown out Jericho with chants of HBK.
Jericho says that he deserves the title match against Punk at Summerslam. We go
to commercial break.
Jim Ross appears and joins Lawler and Adamle at the
announcer’s table. JR says the he got a call that he needed to be at Raw
tonight but he didn’t know why.
Mickie James from Richmond, VA
WWE Women’s Champion
Hall is busy hanging onto hair but the ref makes her break.
Hall has been working on her wrestling moves. James goes for a roll up and gets
a two count. JR and Lawler spend most of their time correcting Adamle. James
delivers a DDT, goes for the pin and gets the win. Time: 4 minutes.
Winner: Mickie James with a DDT
After the match, James goes over to see her Dad in the
audience but is attacked by Katie Lea Burchill. Burchill says she is the next
WWE Women’s Champion and that her brother is the next WWE Intercontinental
McMahon is backstage with Todd Grisham. He thanks McMahon for
being there tonight. Grisham asks when the new GM will be there and McMahon says
that person – and it could be a she – is already there and Grisham will know
who it is when everyone else knows who it is. We go to commercial break.
John Cena is backstage with Cryme Tyme. Shad tells Cena that
he can’t trust Batista and Batista shows up. Batista tells Cena that he
doesn’t trust Cena and he knows Batista doesn’t trust Cena either and tells
Cena to stay out of his way. We go
to commercial break.
Tag Team Match
John Bradshaw Layfield from New York City
Big Red Machine Kane weighing 323 lbs.
John Cena from MA weighing 240 lbs.
The Animal Batista from Washington, DC weighing 290 lbs.
The bell rings and it’s Cena facing JBL. Cena doesn’t
waste any time going for a cover but JBL kicks out. Batista tags himself into
the match but JBL doesn’t go for a tag to Kane. Batista goes for a cover but
Kane enters the ring, Cena enters the ring to take out Kane, Batista sends JBL
to the floor after Kane and we go to commercial break in the middle of the
match. Back to the ring, it’s JBL working over Cena in the ring. JBL tags in
Kane. Kane delivers a short dropkick and goes for the cover but Cena gets a
shoulder off the mat. Kane takes Cena to the wrong corner to continue the beat
down. Kane again goes for the cover but Cena again kicks out. Batista is begging
for a tag but Cena is stuck in the center of the ring. Kane backs Cena back to
the wrong corner and tags in JBL. JBL tags Kane back into the ring and Cena
fights back. Kane catches an elbow but delivers a side slam and goes for the
cover getting a two count. Kane goes up to the top turnbuckle but Cena gets out
of the way. Cena delivers a DDT and both men are down on the mat. Kane tags in
JBL and Cena tags in Batista. Batista goes to work on JBL, delivers a spine
buster and Kane enters the ring. Batista drops Kane to the canvas but JBL is
back to his feet. Kane pulls down the top rope and Batista goes over the top
rope and down to the floor by the guardrail. JBL goes out of the ring and rolls
Batista back into the ring going for the pin but Batista kicks out. JBL tags in
Kane and hangs onto Batista to keep him from reaching his corner. Kane tries for
a submission hold but Batista works out of it and delivers fists to the face and
head of Kane to make him release his hold. Kane tags in JBL and JBL delivers a
shot to Cena sending him to the floor from the ring apron before going after
Batista. JBL comes off the ropes and Batista catches him with a spear before
sending Kane off the ring apron. JBL catches Batista but as he goes for another
shot, JBL hits Kane. Kane enters the ring and has JBL by the throat. Cena tags
into the match and delivers the FU to Kane, going for the cover and getting the
three count and the win. Time: 9
Winner: John Cena with an FU &
After the match, McMahon appears to introduce the new Raw
General Manager. Mike Adamle, who is now in the ring with Cena and Batista, has
the mic. Adamle says that at Summerslam it will be John Cena versus The Animal
Dave Batista. He wishes them good luck and leaves the ring.
Yes, WWE fans, you heard it right
– Mike Adamle, who couldn’t announce a wrestling match without help, has
been named the new Raw General Manager.