Last week’s Raw was the
first show Raw after Summerslam. This
Raw is the first Raw after WWE announced there would be several suspensions in
violation of WWE’s Wellness Policy. As
we did with Friday Night Smackdown, we will note the roster members who were
named as customers of Signature Pharmacy.
We see a recap of last
Monday night as Randy Orton does not deliver a kick to John Cena but instead
drags John Cena’s father out of the audience and delivers a kick to him.
Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler
Monday Night Raw is being
broadcast from Ohio State University.
Hardy, weighing 225 lbs., from Cameron, NC
weighing 350 lbs., from the Isle of Samoa,
Last week Umaga interfered
in the match between Jeff Hardy and Mr. Kennedy in order to beat down Hardy.
Jeff Hardy who managed to get a three count after knocking Umaga off the
top rope and onto the mat. Jeff was tossed off of Umaga but he got the pin
before Umaga sent him flying out of the ring and onto the floor.
Intercontinental Champion: Jeff
Umaga was on the list of
Signature Pharmacy customers; Hardy’s name was not on the list.
I honestly don’t know how
Jeff Hardy manages to get out of bed the morning after a match like this one. He
was thrown into every surface with the exception of the ceiling and I was
wondering if that was next. Hardy deserved the push he got here even if it was
most likely because Umaga will be suspended for Wellness Policy violations.
After commercial break, we
see a recap of the win by Jeff Hardy and then we see Umaga demolishing the
We are now backstage with
Vince McMahon and Jonathan Coachman. Vince tells Coach that the men sitting
behind him are the best legal defense money can buy. He says that the best defense is a good offense. Carlito
enters the office and Vince asks him if he was as humiliated as Vince was last
week by Triple H. Carlito says that
he was and Vince says that they are going to treat Triple H like family.
Vince says he knows Carlito is looking forward to his one on one match
tonight but maybe they shouldn’t have that match.
Vince says it is because someone lost something out in the ring.
Umaga lost his title. Vince
says the best way to go would be to have a handicap match:
Carlito and Umaga versus Triple H.
We are now at the door to
the Diva’s locker room and Santino Marella is looking for Maria. Maria comes
out and says she wishes Santino had asked her before he talked to William Regal
about her having a rematch with Beth Phoenix.
Santino tells her not to worry about it because he will to out with her
– he has a couple of things he needs to get off of his chest – and then he
will be right there to protect her during her match.
Santino Marella and
William Regal were both on the client list of Signature Pharmacy.
We are now in another area
backstage and Regal is talking to one of the workers and telling him that was
the way to start the show, with a new Intercontinental Champion. Regal asks the
guy if he has seen Cena tonight and tells him that as soon as he does to notify
Regal. Regal then speaks to Melina.
Melina tells Regal it was going to be weird having Vince confront his
entire family tonight. She then tells Regal, whispering in his ear, about her
meeting in July with Vince. Regal tells her that it is disgusting. Melina then
finds herself trapped between Stephanie and Linda McMahon. Linda slaps Melina
and Ron Simmons shows up in time to exclaim, “Damn!”
After the commercial break,
we see a recap of last week’s match between Maria and Phoenix.
from Chicago, IL, accompanied by Santino Marella
Phoenix, from Buffalo, NY
Beth Phoenix with a nice slam to the mat, the pin and the three count.
Before the match can begin,
Santino has the mic and complains about Ron Simmons and is he going to embarrass
him worse than the Senator that was looking for man love in the boy’s room. He
insults the audience, he insults their city and the audience voices their
disapproval. Sandman appears in the audience, heading toward the ring. Santino
tells Sandman that he is jealous of Santino and Maria and all Sandman has is his
stick. Sandman uses the kendo stick
to beat Santino up the ramp and out of the arena.
Beth Phoenix proves that
you can be attractive and look and act like a wrestler. She tells the audience that she is cashing in her opportunity
to challenge Candice Michelle for the Women’s Championship at the next Pay per
view. She then shows everyone her
strength by picking Maria up again and slamming her to the mat.
Candice comes down the ramp and enters the ring to face Phoenix. The
referee gets Phoenix out of the ring so Candice can check on Maria.
JR then announces they are
showing the audience photos of Cena’s father after being kicked in the head by
Orton. Cena’s father has a nice
shiner where Orton’s boot met his eye. *For those of you who do not know,
Cena’s Dad works in the independent circuit as a manager. *
Back from commercial break,
Regal is in the center of the ring with the mic. He says that last week Orton demanded a rematch with Cena for
the title but that Regal told him he couldn’t have a rematch.
Orton went to Vince and Vince told Orton if he could prove he really
wanted the rematch, he could have it. Regal
then says that Orton did just that and shows the footage of Cena’s father
getting taken out by Orton. In fact, we are shown the film clip over and over
again. Regal says that Orton was supposed to be there this evening but he gave
him the night off. Orton is available via satellite to tell everyone why he did
what he did. Orton says it is Cena’s fault because he denied him the
rematch. Regal then says that it will be Cena versus Orton at Unforgiven. Orton
thanks Regal and then says he hopes John’s father will never forgive John for
what happened last week. Cena enters the arena. Regal tells Cena he is just
doing his job as General Manager. He tells Cena not to do anything foolish or
anything he may regret. Cena looks around the ring, looks at his belt then goes
after Regal beating him in and out of the ring, throwing him into the
announcer’s table before applying a choke hold on him on the floor. Help arrives in the form of referees who pull Cena off Regal.
Randy Orton’s name was
on the client list for Signature Pharmacy, however, it appears Orton will not be
Back from commercial break
we see a recap of Cena demolishing Regal.
Lance Cade and Trevor
Murdoch, Tag Team Champions, join JR and Lawler at ringside.
Shelton and Charlie Haas, at a combined weight of 497 lbs.
London and Brian Kendrick, at a combined weight of 369 lbs.
London and Kendrick
Winners: London and
Kendrick after Kendrick pins Haas in the ring as London handles Benjamin outside
Cade and Murdoch enter the
ring applauding London and Kendrick. They hold out their hands to congratulate
the pair and they all shake hands.
Charlie Haas is the only
one of the wrestlers involved in this match or at ringside who is on the
Signature Pharmacy client list.
I normally don’t think of
London and Kendrick as being in a match with this kind of competition, however,
even with the difference in size, they can outmaneuver most tag teams simply
with their speed. Their teamwork is
fluid. Shelton and Haas work well together but they can’t match the athletic
ability of London and Kendrick. I was amazed at the way Cade and Murdoch handled
commentary on the match.
We go to the back area
where Regal is in an ambulance and Shane McMahon walks by on his way to the
Back from commercial break,
we see Carlito and Umaga in the locker room. Carlito tells Umaga he heard Triple
H laughing because Umaga lost the Intercontinental Championship.
We are back in Vince’s
office with Coach and the attorneys. Vince
says it is all about greed. He
wants to know if his money is all safe, including his Swiss bank account and his
trust funds. His attorneys assures
him his money is safe. Coach tells Vince that Regal is really beat up and Vince
tells Coach he will have to step up and take over Regal’s position.
One of Vince’s attorneys asks him if he has considered changing his
strategy and offering a settlement. Vince
fires that attorney and he is down to two attorneys.
Hall and Daivari
James and Cody Rhodes
James and Rhodes
James and Rhodes after Rhodes gives Daivari a DDT, pins him and gets the
Hall takes the mic from
Garcia before the match begins to complain about Garcia being in the wrestling
magazine and having an album out. Hall says that she too has a new album out
that will blow Garcia’s out of the water. She is going to sing to the audience
and wants Garcia to pay attention. Hall says that she just had her wisdom teeth
taken out today and even though she is in pain, she is here to work. Hall and
Daivari sing but only for a few bars before James and Rhodes enter the ring.
Mickie James is another
female wrestler that should belongs in the wrestling category.
She is not big but she is tough and not afraid to show her athleticism in
Cody Rhodes gets better
every time he is in the ring.
Back from commercial break,
we see Triple H giving Carlito a beat down from last week.
weighing 255 lbs., from Greenwich, CT
weighing 220 lbs., from the Caribbean and Umaga, weighing 350 lbs., from the
Isle of Samoa
Winner: Triple H by
I think Carlito got a hair
cut. It’s difficult to tell.
Carlito and Umaga take the opportunity to work over Triple H after the referee
disqualifies Umaga and Carlito. Unfortunately
for them, Triple H helps himself to a steel chair and takes them both out before
going for the sledge hammer to finish off Umaga. Carlito managed to watch the
sledge hammer beating from the top of the entrance ramp.
Umaga was the only
wrestler in this match who was on the Signature Pharmacy client list.
Back from commercial break
to see Vince, Coach, now the acting General Manager of Raw, and Vince’s
attorneys entering the ring. Vince takes the mic to tell everyone he is Vincent
Kennedy McMahon, that the audience can call him Mr. McMahon and that he is the
head of WWE and patriarch of the McMahon family. He tells us that his family is here because they are only
concerned about the money and they want what the fans want and that is a
handout. Linda comes down the ramp.
Vince asks her how she expects to get her cut without her attorney.
Linda says she is the CEO of WWE and she has plenty of money.
She says she doesn’t need his money and thanks to Coach and all the
women he has paraded in front of the cameras, she could take Vince to court and
take him for everything he has. Vince says that Linda doesn’t understand about
all the traveling he did and how lonely he was but he thinks Shane and Stephanie
understand. Stephanie is the next
one to enter the ring. Vince says that everyone knows Stephanie is the volatile
one in the family and that what he has put a video together from her
kindergarten days through college. He calls her Daddy’s Girl and the name of
the Video is A Father’s Love. We see a video of Vince beating up Stephanie in
the ring and then hitting Linda when she tries to protect Stephanie.
Coach says that someone must have sabotaged the video and we see Triple H
on the monitor. Triple H says he
had nothing to do with the video. Then Triple H says “Hey, Steph”. Stephanie
says that Vince is sick and he is getting sicker.
She says if he doesn’t get help, he should step down as Chairman of the
Board of WWE. Vince wants to know
if she is speaking for the whole family and Shane enters the ring. Shane takes
the mic and Vince says that Shane doesn’t feel the same as the others about
him stepping down from the board. Shane wants to know which man he is talking
to. The audience cheers their
favorite name for Vince. Shane says they are there to stand behind him but Vince
needs to change. Shane tells Vince he is sick and he needs to work out his
issues. Shane says that he thinks
it can all work out because Shane always wanted a brother.
Vince says he would like to make a confession. Vince says that none of
the affairs that Coach was talking about never happened and that he only made it
all up to make himself look better. Vince
tells Linda he has only been unfaithful to her once in his life and that’s
with the woman who gave birth to his unknown son. Vince
says he knows that he can change and he gets down on his knee in front of his
family and vows he will be a better father, husband, human being, and Mr.
Kennedy enters the ring.
Coach asks Mr. Kennedy why
he is in the ring. Mr. Kennedy says
that everything happens for a reason and Mr. Kennedy explains all the
similarities and calls Vince “Dad”. Mr. Kennedy tells Vince he is his son.
Stephanie says Mr. Kennedy might be a bastard, but he is not her Dad’s
bastard. She wants to see proof and
Mr. Kennedy says he doesn’t need proof. Mr.
Kennedy tells Vince that he doesn’t need to change, that he is fine the way he
is. Mr. Kennedy lays the BS on thick and tells Vince that he inspired him just
by being the egomaniacal person that he was. Mr. Kennedy says that he won’t
judge Vince and will accept him the way he is then does his Mr. Kennedy, then
adds Kennedy McMahon. Vince hugs
Kennedy and the attorney who represents the woman who had Vince’s child enters
the arena to tell everyone the DNA tests have come back and the son is a WWE
superstar and the results prove that it is not Mr. Kennedy.
Vince wants to know who it is but the attorney says it will be revealed
next week on Raw as per his client’s instructions.
She will, however, give him a clue:
Things are looking up.
And the show is over.
And I don’t care WHO it is as long as they get this ridiculous story
line over and move on.
Umaga lost his title to
Jeff Hardy and got worked over by Triple H so that he can take his 30 day
William Regal got worked
over by John Cena so that he can take his 30 day suspension.
Santino Marella got a beat
down by Sandman so that he could take his 30 day suspension.
Shelton Benjamin and
Charlie Haas lost their chance to compete for the tag team title so Haas could
take his 30 day suspension.
Mr. Kennedy is not
Vince’s son although he could have been if Mr. Kennedy wasn’t going have a
30 day suspension.
Booker T is on the
Signature Pharmacy client list.
The tag team of Cryme Tyme
was terminated due to an incident at a house show.
Bobby Lashley is out with a
Shawn Michaels is out with
a legitimate injury.
Steve Austin is on the
roster but has not been active.