IMPACT

  July 19, 2007

Commentary in italics by Sassy

At the request of Jim Cornette, we find Jeremy Borash in search of Kurt Angle.  Jeremy finds Kurt Angle in a tanning bed -- in his red underwear.  Kurt accuses Jeremy of looking at his "package" and refuses to go see Mr. Cornette. Kurt tells Jeremy that there is only one champion in TNA and Cornette knows where to find him.  He explains to us that it is hard being Kurt Angle and he's working on his maintenance program.  When Jeremy asks Kurt what he thinks Samoa Joe's big announcement is going to be, Kurt responds that Joe is going to turn himself in for stealing the titles at Victory Road.

Triple X vs. Serotonin

The match begins with Skipper and Havok facing off in the middle of the ring.  Daniels comes over the top rope attacking Havok as Skipper keeps the referee busy on Serotonin's side of the ring. Daniels gets the tag and takes down Havok.  Martyr goes after Daniels and Daniels backs him off with several punches to the face.  Daniels takes a hit to the back courtesy of Raven and goes down to his knees on the mat.  Havok takes Daniels down, picks him up, and Martyr comes off the top ropes taking down Daniels.  Martyr gets the tag and keeps Daniels in Serotonin's corner.  At this time, Mike Tenay announces there are ongoing talks with TNA and a former world champion.  Raven tags in and beats Daniels down on the mat.  Havok is back in then another quick tag to Martyr.  Skipper comes through the ropes giving Martyr a kick to the head.  Daniels makes it to Senshi for the tag and Senshi comes in sending Havok to the mat before going up on the ropes to fly up and into Martyr.  Raven reaches Senshi and gives him a knee to the face before Senshi catches Raven in the back of the head with a well place foot.  Havok has Senshi up on his shoulders but Skipper uses a boot to the abdomen to make the save.  Raven takes down Skipper and all six men are in the ring.  Raven goes over the top rope onto the floor.  Daniels slams Havok to the mat and the members of Triple X each go up to a top turnbuckle.  Skipper drops a leg on Havok's chest, Daniels gives him a moonsault and Senshi finishes with the spike.  Senshi gets the pin and the match goes to Triple X. 

Triple X leaves the ring and Kaz enters with a kendo stick, getting Havok and Martyr out of the way before physically taking Raven down to the mat.  Serotonin has Kaz down before he takes himself out of harms way and goes back up the ramp.  

The triple tag team matches have so much action going on inside and outside the ring that it takes concentration to find out who is doing what.  This match gave us a chance to see Triple X in action for the first time since Victory Road and they work well together.  Look for more animosity to build between Kaz and the members of Serotonin. As a former member of Serotonin, Kaz stands out. It will be interesting to see the team Triple X will be up against in their next match.  

We are again with Jeremy with Kurt in the tanning bed.  This time Kurt accuses Jeremy of looking at his ass.  Jeremy's message to Kurt is that if Kurt doesn't go right away to see Cornette, Cornette will take ten thousand dollars out of Kurt's next check.  Kurt assures Jeremy he isn't worried about that small amount of money but he decides he will get dressed and find out what Cornette wants.  Kurt discovers his suit, title belts and underwear are missing.  After Kurt accuses Jeremy of stealing his underwear, we find out -- a little too much information! -- that Jeremy does not wear underwear.    Kurt clothed in bright red underwear and matching flip-flops is now on the hunt for his clothes and his title belts. 

We come back from commercial to find Leticia Cline backstage interviewing Christian Cage.  With Christian are AJ Styles, Tomko, Cowboy James Storm, and Miss Jackie Moore.  There is a revenge match scheduled tonight between Christian and Wildcat Chris The Wildcat and Storm and Rhino. When Christian informs Leticia that the "revenge match" will have the same outcome as his match with The Wildcat at Victory Road, Leticia reminds Christian that Dustin Rhodes helped him win that match.  Christian then tells her that this time Storm has his back.  Tomko is not impressed with any of the comments from the group.

We are back at ringside with Don West and Mike Tenay when Brother Ray and Brother Devon of Team 3D breaks in with microphones. Brother Ray is demanding a match with the Steiner Brothers because they kept Team 3D from winning the belts.  And Team 3D wants the match next week.  When Tenay disagrees with the severity of Scott Steiner's injury, Devon puts him in a headlock.  West attempts to intervene and is attacked by Ray.  West calls for security and we go to commercial with Brother Ray holding off security with the bell hammer.

Kurt is stopping backstage personnel in an attempt to find his underwear.  He enters the locker room with Jeremy in tow in order to demand the return of his suit, belts and underwear, which he does, from a bench in his red underwear and his flip-flops.  He accuses Shark Boy of smiling and decides to take his frustration out on the hapless Shark.  

Lance Hoyt with Christy Hemme vs. Kip James with BG James and Roxxi Laveaux

BG joins Tenay and West at the announcer's table while in the ring Lance uses his fists to take down Kip.  Kip puts Lance in a headlock.  Kip uses a drop kick to take down Lance and then has his outside of the ring.  Lance sends Kip into the ring post and rolls him back into the ring where he delivers a kick to the back of Kip's head.  He tries for a pin but Kip kicks out.  Lance sends Kip off the ropes and Kip tackles Lance. Kip tries for the pin.  Lance get out of the way of Kip's way and Kip smashes into the corner post. Lance misses a boot to the head of Kip but Kip takes down Lance with a kick to the abdomen and a leg to the back of the head.  Kip goes for the pin and wins the match. Christy is not happy and goes for a low blow to Kip, but he catches her arm and holds her for Roxxi to enter the ring.  Roxxi again body slams Christy described by BG as a Bimbo Slam.  

I didn't get a lot from this match.  The constant screaming of Christy Hemme was annoying. Christy isn't coming to the ring to do battle judging from the height of her heels.  I prefer VKM as a tag team although Kip and BG as single competitors are good.  Let us hope Roxxi gets a chance to do more in the ring.  There are rumors Lance has been trying to make a move to another organization.  He has since attempted to dispel those rumors and since the rumor appears to have originated from an organization that has been under fire for the past month, I’m taking Lance’s denial at face value.  Perhaps he will have time to teach Christy to scream softly.

Leticia interviews Joe backstage trying to get at least a hint about his big announcement.  He informs her that he will be making the biggest challenge ever made in TNA but that she, like everyone else, will have to wait.

We are in the production room with a scantily dressed Kurt standing on the table once again demanding that his suit, belt, and underwear be returned.  He tells everyone he has no qualms about beating up a producer or a director when one member of the group gets up to leave saying that what Kurt is doing is ridiculous.  Kurt responds by beating up the director/writer/producer, slamming him into a wall and knocking him out of a chair.

Christian Cage with Tomko & Cowboy James Storm with Jackie Moore vs. Rhino & Wildcat Chris Harris

The Wildcat and Christian begin the match with the Wildcat, tag to Rhino who takes down Christian and tries to knock Storm off of the ring apron. Storm avoided contact by stepping to the floor outside the ring. Turning his back on Christian proved to be an error, as Christian caught him from behind and started a series of chops.  Rhino comes off the ring post, takes Christian down and goes for the pin.  Christian kicks out and pulls Rhino to the mat by his hair.  Storm gets the tag and Rhino chases him out of the ring.  Storm runs with Rhino hot on his trail.  Christian comes off of the apron ring with a clothesline, taking Rhino down.  Storm and Christian double team Rhino as the referee keeps the Wildcat on the opposite side away from the action.  After the commercial break, Christian and Rhino are exchanging punches, but Christian comes off the ropes and takes Rhino down on Storm's side of the ring.  Christian distracts the Wildcat and the referee while the Storm pounds on Rhino.  Storm goes for the pin and works on Rhino's face then tags in Christian.  Christian holds Rhino by the hair and tags in Storm.  With Christian on Storm's shoulders, Rhino comes off the top rope and takes both men down with a clothesline.  Rhino tags in the Wildcat who immediately goes after Storm, taking him down with a clothesline.  The Wildcat then takes down Christian with a bulldog.  Storm tries for the pin but Rhino breaks it up. The Wildcat body slams Storm, but Christian breaks up the pin and gives The Wildcat a punch to the face.  The Wildcat returns the favor by giving Christian an inverted atomic drop.  Rhino comes in to take Christian out over the top rope with a running clothesline and the Wildcat spears Storm in the corner.  Rhino gives Storm a belly-to-belly suplex and tries to set him up for the gore, but Christian pulls Rhino out of the ring and slams him headfirst into the guardrail.  The Wildcat uses a shoulder block to keep Christian from getting back in the ring.  Storm misses The Wildcat with a boot and the Wildcat picks Storm up and lands the catatonic.  The referee begins the count and Tomko pulls the referee out of the ring.  Dustin Rhodes shows up in the ring with a chair and nails the Wildcat in the back.  The Wildcat goes down and Storm gets the count.  Rhino goes off on everyone left in the ring.  Miss Jackie comes in to save Storm grabbing Rhino by the hair.  Rhino has her over his head to slam her to the mat, but Tomko enters the ring and downs Rhino with a kick.  Just as Christian and Storm break open the beer, Abyss comes looking for Christian.  Christian exits the ring, not knowing that Sting is behind him.  Sting helps Christian back into the ring; Abyss goes after him, and Christian bails out of the ring going through the audience with Abyss behind him.

This match gave Rhino a chance to show how well he works inside the ring. While the Wildcat, Storm and Christian were good, Rhino made this match. The Wildcat and Rhino although not synchronized did work well together.    The match was fast paced and entertaining.  It would be good to see Miss Jackie back in the ring as a wrestler. She makes for a mean and nasty manager but her talent in the ring is worth watching. 

We are now with Kurt and Jeremy in Cornette's office with Cornette telling Kurt he can't go to the ring in his underwear.  Cornette provides Kurt with a robe and tells him to put it on before he goes out to the ring and tells him to have the ten thousand in his office by Monday. 

After the commercial break, we see Christian and AJ in the parking lot with Leticia.  Christian is yelling about where AJ put the car and AJ tells him he has a truck.  They make for the truck when Robert Roode and Miss Brooks show up.  Roode tells Christian that he can take care of the problem for him.  AJ says that he can take care of it and they get into an argument.  AJ and Christian get into the truck, by Abyss is in the back seat.  Christian goes out the window of the truck and Abyss comes out of the door after him.

Kurt comes to the ring in his borrowed robe and his flip-flops to accuse the audience of stealing his Armani suit, title belts and underwear.  Joe comes down the entrance ramp holding his championship belts, Kurt's championship belts, and Kurt's clothes.  Joe says he wants to put the last nine months behind them and start a new saga.  He gives Kurt back his belts.  He tells Kurt they are the two best wrestlers in the world today. Joe gives Kurt his suit and tells him that the underwear he is wearing is what he wore to the arena.  Joe tells Kurt they should have one more match at Hard Justice and instead of doing it for pride and respect; they should put all the gold on the line.  He then asks Kurt if he is in and extends his hand.  Kurt hesitates, but then looks over all of the title belts in the ring, decides to accept and shakes Joe's hand.  They then hug and Joe raises Kurt's hand before giving him a head butt and stomping on him.  He goes under the ring looking for a table and slides it into the ring.  Joe moves the belts out of the way, picks up Kurt to throw him to the table, Kurt turns it around and throws Joe through the table instead.  Kurt applies the ankle lock before the show goes off to highlights of the previous hour.

Rumors are flying that TNA is working to get a two-hour time slot.  I was excited that we might see more of our favorite wrestlers each week.  After tonight, I wonder if a two-hour Impact will be an hour and a half of talk and a half hour of action.  Although Kurt's missing clothes and belts scenario was original, seeing him once or twice during the hour would have been sufficient.  By seeing “more” of our favorite wrestlers, I wasn’t insinuating we should have more of them beating up everyone in the back while wearing their underwear. I did enjoy the Abyss/Christian chase.  One might say Christian AJ scream like girls. The only match I couldn't get into was the Lance vs. Kip.  The other matches were well done and kept me watching.  I have heard that TNA may be working on evolving into women’s wrestling.  They won’t have to look far for the first two women who should be on that roster.  Miss Jackie Moore and Gail Kim would be a great place to start.

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