Friday Night Smackdown
May 30, 2008 – Recap by Sassy
Last week on Smackdown
Matt Hardy, WWE US Champion, defeated Elijah Burke in 6
Finlay with Hornswoggle defeated Chuck Palumbo via DQ in 5
CM Punk defeated John Morrison in 2 minutes.
The Animal Batista & The Big Show defeated Curt Hawkins
& Zack Ryder in 3 minutes.
M.V.P. defeated Jamie Noble in 5 minutes.
Vladimir Kozlov defeated Shannon Moore in 1 minute.
Michelle McCool with Cherry defeated Maryse with Deuce &
Domino in 3 minutes.
Smackdown is broadcast on the CW Network from Los Angeles,
Ringside announcers: Michael Cole & Mick Foley
Ring announcer: Justin Roberts
One Night Stand – WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match,
The Undertaker versus The Rated R Superstar Edge: Edge won the title and WWE is
banished from the WWE. And, of course, the show opens with Vickie Guerrero, Bam
Neely, Chavo Guerrero, Curt Hawkins & Zack Ryder. Unfortunately, or perhaps that should be fortunately, Mrs.
Guerrero can’t be heard over the live audience. She manages to introduce Edge
in spite of the noise. We are wasting wrestling time here. I simply used the
fast forward button to get through the tripe. The lights go out as they prepare
to toast Edge on his victory and when they come back on, Edge laughs and says it
was a joke and everyone in the audience fell for it. Back to the fast forward
button. Batista appears as Edge is being drenched in champagne. Okay, so I would
have preferred the Undertaker, too, but Batista will do in a pinch. Batista says
he wanted to come out and wish them the best for their upcoming wedding, they
deserve each other and he hopes they live happily ever after and then he says he
is just kidding and that he can’t stand either one of them. Batista says that
he is challenging the winner of the match at One Night Stand and that would be
Edge. Mrs. Guerrero says that Batista isn’t going to get a championship match.
She says he has to earn a championship match. She says tonight it will be a
match between Guerrero, Hawkins, Ryder & Edge against Batista and three
partners of her choosing and we go to commercial break.
Finlay from Belfast, Northern Ireland weighing 233 lbs.
Chuck Palumbo from San Diego, CA weighing 280 lbs.
Palumbo still has that same goofy hat, the sunglasses and a
really nice bike. Since this match has been billed as a brawl, we won’t be
waiting for any wrestling to begin. Hornswoggle comes out from under the ring in
order to give Finlay an edge before the bell rings. Palumbo goes out on the
floor and Finlay goes out after him but Palumbo sends Finlay into the steel
steps and Finlay hits the steps hard enough to move them completely away from
the ring. Palumbo is busy looking for Hornswoggle but he brings out a trashcan.
Finaly uses it to the best of his ability by delivering a drop kick into the
can. Palumbo comes back quickly, sends Finlay back into the ring, throws in the
trashcan and then comes in after Finlay. Finley uses a drop toehold to send
Palumbo face first into the can. Finlay goes out on the floor and comes back in
with the can, uses it on Palumbo and then sends Palumbo out to the floor.
Palumbo delivers a belly-to-belly suplex outside on the floor. Palumbo rolls
Finlay back into the ring and goes for the cover but Finlay manages to kick out.
Finlay comes up with his weapon but Palumbo delivers a boot and Finlay is down
on the mat. Palumbo goes out of the ring to grab the chain from his bike and
comes back in the ring. Hornswoggle enters the ring and delivers a low blow,
Palumbo slams Hornswoggle down to the mat but it gives Finlay a chance to nail
Palumbo. Finlay goes for the cover and gets the three count. Time: 5 minutes.
Winner: Finlay with a little help from Hornswoggle
I’m not sure how exactly you should call the winner of a
Belfast Brawl match. It wasn’t the best brawl I’ve seen but it wasn’t the
worst either and the fans do enjoy seeing Hornswoggle get himself into those
perilous predicaments. We go to commercial break.
The Big Show who is now the #1 Contender for the ECW
Championship (against The Big Red Machine Kane) after winning the Singapore Cane
Match at One Night Stand appears in the ring. Show’s left eye is nearly
swollen shut and it appears he has stitches.
I hope he’s going to heal before he goes into a match against Kane. The
audience sees a short video of Show winning the match at One Night Stand. Show
is interrupted by The World’s Strongest Man Mark Henry who appears at the top
of the entrance ramp. Henry reminds Show that he told Henry to pick on someone
his own size. Henry shows the audience how Show went into a set of steel steps
in order to do the damage to his eye. Henry says it doesn’t look like
championship material to him. Show tells Henry that he is full of it. Show
challenges Henry to enter the ring and mix it up. Henry heads toward the ring
but he doesn’t enter the ring. Henry backs back up the ramp. Cousin Sal and
Rowdy Roddy Piper are getting reading for the match against Santino Marella and
we go to commercial break.
2 on 1 Handicap Match
Deuce & Domino from the Other Side of the Tracks
At a combined weight of 465 lbs.
The Great Khali from India, 7’0”, weighing 420 lbs.
Not to insult any of the wrestlers in the ring but this
should be a short match. I’m just not sure whether it will be Deuce or Domino
who will get the worst of Khali. Deuce is first in the ring and first down on
the mat. Deuce tags in Domino and he is the recipient of Khali’s boot. Deuce
& Domino are both in the ring. Khali catches Domino, delivers a Khali bomb,
then delivers the same to Deuce before pinning one of the wrestlers and getting
the three count. Time: 2 minutes.
Winner: The Great Khali with a choke slam.
This was not a good match.
I wouldn’t even consider it a decent match. Guerrero is backstage with
the women’s locker room. She says that Smackdown is going to crown a new
women’s champion and it will start with a golden dream match that will end
with a diva’s challenge. I could
just say whatever, but it wouldn’t do any good. We go to commercial break.
Santino Marella from Italy weighing 227 lbs.
Cousin Sal from NY weighing 195 lbs.
With Rowdy Roddy Piper and Jimmy Kimmel
Foley tells the audience that Cousin Sal was formerly a high
school wrestler. The bell rings and Marella puts out his hand to shake. Piper
tells him not to do it but when Sal reaches out to shake, Marella pulls his hand
away. Marella picks up Sal and drops him to the mat. Sal stops to confer with
Piper. We actually go into a little wrestling here and Sal manages to get out of
Marella’s hold. Sal applies a side headlock. Sal picks up Marella, delivers an
airplane spin that makes them both dizzy. Sal delivers a suplex, goes for the
cover and gets a two count. Marella body slams Sal to the mat. Piper is up on
the ring apron, Kimmel grabs Marella’s leg, Sal goes for the roll up and gets
the three count and the win. Time:
That may have just been the longest four minutes of Sal’s
life. Marella decks Sal and heads for Kimmel, but Piper lays Marella out. Kudos
to Marella for making it a workable comedy skit. We go to commercial break.
M.V.P. is sitting in the skybox hanging on his cell phone.
I’m not sure what that’s all about. Sal is backstage and Kimmel is busy
talking for Sal. Kimmel says that Sal’s next opponent will be The Big Show.
Sal puts Kimmel in a headlock but Show picks up Sal and walks off with him. Miz
and John Morrison are backstage picking on Hornswoggle. Finlay appears and gets
in the middle. Hornswoggle gets his water gun and nails them both. Edge asks
Chavo Guerrero to be the best man at his wedding. Uncle Edge. That’s enough to
make Chavo a little queasy.
Golden Dream Match
Kelly Kelly vs. Layla vs. Maryse vs. Cherry vs. Natalya vs.
Victoria vs. Michelle McCool
My money is on Natalya but Victoria has a good chance of
winning. Natalya has it. Time: 2 minutes. That took two minutes too long. We go
to commercial break.
Jimmy Wang Yang from GA weighing 206 lbs
Vladimir Kozlov from Moscow, weighing 302 lbs.
Every week I say it and every week I mean it.
Can this guy wrestle or can he just beat up on wrestlers who are much
smaller than him? Last week he beat
up on Shannon Moore and this week it is Jimmy Wang Yang.
Moore and Yang should be in matches where they can show off their
wrestling skills. I can’t believe
it! Wang actually managed to deliver a kick to the skull. Time: 2 minutes.
Winner: Vladimir Kozlov
And if Mick Foley says it one more time – Kozlov is SO
impressive – I’m going to write Foley a nasty email and ask him when WWE is
going to put Kozlov up against someone his OWN size? Batista is backstage
talking about his tag team match tonight and we go to commercial break.
8 Man Tag Team Match
Edge & Curt Hawkins & Zack Ryder & Chavo Guerrero
With Bam Neely & Vickie Guerrero
Batista & Nunzio & Funaki & Colin Delaney
I hate to say it out loud but Delaney, Funaki and Nunzio
could wrestle circles around the others involved in this match. I’m not a
Batista fan but I’d like to see his side walk all over La Familia. Batista
begins the match with Ryder who is down on the mat almost immediately. Ryder
tags in Guerrero who doesn’t look thrilled about being in the ring. Guerrero
finds the mat as well. Batista goes for the cover but Guerrero kicks out.
Batista goes for a second cover and gets a two count. Batista tags in Delaney
who comes out, takes Guerrero down and goes for the cover; getting a two count
and we go to commercial break. Back to the action, Delaney is in the ring with
Delaney. Hawkins tags in Ryder. It appears that during the commercial break,
Neely got involved and nailed Delaney outside on the floor. Hawkins goes for a
cover and gets a two count. Double-teaming on Edge’s team. Guerrero tags in
Edge. Delaney is down in the corner and Batista looks worried. Edge knocks
Batista off the ring apron, runs Delaney into Funaki and Edge pulls Funaki into
the ring. Funaki is now in the wrong corner. Funaki fights back against Guerrero
but he gets caught with a drop kick. Guerrero tags in Hawkins. Hawkins tags in
Ryder. Ryder tags in Hawkins. Edge must be taking a break from the ring action.
That sounds familiar, doesn’t it? Again Funaki fights back but now Edge
has been tagged in. Edge tags in Hawkins and Hawkins goes for a cover, getting a
two count. Hawkins runs into the corner post, giving Funaki time to get a tag to
Batista. Batista power slams Ryder to the mat and knocks everyone off of the
ring apron. Edge enters the ring but Batista’s team enters the ring as well.
Batista takes out Edge and goes for Ryder, delivering a Batista bomb, going for
the cover and getting the three count and the win. Time: 11 minutes.
Winner: Batista with a Batista bomb, Nunzio, Colin Delaney