May 29, 2008 Ė
Recap by Sassy
CROSS THE LINE
Last week on iMPACT, it appeared to be the Kurt and Karen
Angle show. It started as an argument between the Mr. and Mrs. and then a beat
down of AJ Styles by Team 3D and Tomko ending with a chair shot by Kurt Angle.
Iíve had a lot of catching up to do, allowing my DVR to
record the weekly iMPACT results. Sorry about being so slow, but Iím anxious
to see if I have missed anything important. After seeing what happened last
week, I donít think I have missed anything of great importance.
iMPACT is broadcast from Universal Studios, Orlando, FL on
the Spike TV Network
Ringside announcers: Mike Tenay and Don West
Ring announcer: David Penzer
Ringside valet: SoCal Val
Backstage interviews: Jeremy Borash and Crystal Loutham
Mike Tenay tells the audience that tonight AJ has important
news about his relationship with Karen Angle (Donít do it, Don West, allow me;
YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!)
Brother Ray & Brother Devon of Team 3D enter the arena
with the mic in their hand. Team 3D seems to have it in for Hector Guerrero and
LAX. Before Ray can get the mic to his mouth, Booker T enters the arena, not
dressed for ring action, but with mic in hand. Booker seems to have forms an
alliance with Team 3D. Ray says Team 3D and Booker T are referred to as The Bad
Guys and they do bad things to good people. Ray says that Tomko is getting ready
for his King of the Mountain qualifying match and Kurt Angle is out in Hollywood
filming his next project. Does that mean that Kurt and Karen WILL get their own
show and stop slopping up iMPACT every week?
We can only hope. Ray lowers a picture of AJ Styles into the ring and Ray
says that the picture is the new iMPACT trading card and it will soon be a
collectorís item because no one can find Styles right now. Ray calls Styles a
scumbag and a wife stealer and a home wrecker. The audience initially boos Ray
but they seem to change their tune after Ray tells it like it is. Tenay says
there is no proof of those accusations. Booker informs the audience that he is
Royalty. Booker says that TNA has not kept their end of the bargain and kept the
promises they made to him. I should have timed this talk sessionÖ.it just goes
on and on and on. Booker promises that at the KOTM, he will prove why he is
simply the best. Devon then takes the mic to complain about Hector and LAX.
LAXís entrance theme begins and Salinas enters the arena followed by Homicide,
Hernandez and Guerrero. Guerrero has the mic and tells them that LAX will face
Team 3D at Slammiversary but they donít want to wait, they want to start the
fight tonight. Christian Cage enters the arena with Rhino and he, naturally, has
a mic in his hand. Cage says that he is sorry to interrupt. Cage wants to
respond to Bookerís conversation. Cage calls Booker ďBob MarleyĒ and Cage
doesnít care how many times Booker has been WCW Champion because Booker has
not been TNA champion and he is nothing at TNA until he has held that
championship. Rhino and Cage will qualify at the KOTM match tonight according to
Cage. Samoan Submission Machine Samoa Joe enters the arena through the crowd,
walking up into the crowd, with the title belt over his shoulder. Joe tells
everyone that the man who walks out of Memphis, Tennessee with the belt will be
the man who walks into Memphis as the champ and that is Joe. Joe tells Booker
that for everything Booker claims to be, Joe says he is making it easy for
Booker to find Joe. Joe says that Cage and Rhino and LAX put their differences
aside and beat on the three guys in the ring. Everyone enters the ring as Team
3D and Booker bail out of the ring and head up the entrance ramp. Styles shows
up on the ramp with a chair in his hand and he goes after Team 3D and Booker
with the chair. Jeremy Borash is backstage with Karen Angle. It seems Styles has
asked Mrs. Angle to be at the iMPACT Zone tonight.
Recap of what happened before commercial break.
Lauren is in the back with American Idol finalist Ace Young
to perform at the wedding of SoCal Val and Black Machismo Jay Lethal. Val,
Lethal and The Guru Sonjay Dutt. Dutt and Lethal are after the Rock Ďn Rave
Infection. Kong and Raisha Saeed appear to tell everyone that Kong is out
Lance Hoyt & Jimmy Rave, Rock Ďn Infection
With Christy Hemme
The Guru Sonjay Dutt & Black Machismo Jay Lethal
With SoCal Val & Ace Young
Hermie Sadler is at the announcerís table to provide guest
commentary during the match. Dutt comes out with a lot of speed taking down Rave
before tagging in Lethal Rave tags in Hoyt. Hoyt takes on Lethal and then tags
in Rave. Lethal takes down Rave and tags in Sonjay. A miscommunication between
Dutt and Lethal allows Hoyt to enter the ring and knock Dutt into Lethal. Dutt
gets double teamed by Hoyt & Rave before Rave goes for the cover but Dutt
kicks out. Rave tags in Lethal. Hoyt goes for the cover and gets a two count.
Both men tag in their partners and Lethal enters the ring full of speed but
Hemme catches Lethalís leg and takes him down to the mat. Hoyt enters the ring
but Young trips Hoyt as Lethal goes for the cover and gets the three count.
Time: 4 minutes.
Winners: Black Machismo Jay Lethal & The Guru Sonjay Dutt
With an assist by Ace Young.
Lethal tells Dutt to get back in the ring because he has
something to ask him and we to
Back from commercial break, Dutt, Val and Lethal are in the
ring. Lethal asks Dutt why he hasnít responded to being best man of Lethal at
the wedding. Dutt accepts and Young takes the mic and says that the big surprise
is on the screen. We have a music
video by Young, complete with Val and Lethal.
While thatís going on, I wish TNA would explain why the
match only last four minutes and why Lance Hoyt is being partnered with Jimmy
Rave. Rave is an excellent speed and high-flying ring worker. Hoyt may be able
to wrestle, but the fans will never know because he is scheduled to work against
smaller quicker wrestlers.
Angelina Love and Velvet Sky are backstage with Lauren in
order to complain about the ďwenchesĒ in the locker room.
Back from commercial break,
Angelina Love representing the Beautiful People from Canada
With Velvet Sky
Roxxi Laveaux from New Orleans, LA
Laveaux charges into the ring and goes after Love with the
referee ringing the bell as Laveaux hits the ring. It appears that Glamour Boy
Shane Sewell has come back to referee at TNA. Sky interferes in the match giving
Love time to get the edge on Laveaux. Laveaux goes for the cover and gets a two
count before going over and knocking Sky off of the ring apron. Sky sprays
something in Laveauxís face while the refís back is turned, Love goes for
the cover and gets the three count. Time: Barely 4 minutes.
Winner: Angelina Love with help from Velvet Sky
After the match is over, Love and Sky put a brown paper bag
over Laveauxís head but Gail Kim appears on crutches and O.D.B. appears at the
top of the entrance ramp. ODB grabs a crutch and heads to the ring to chase away
Love and Sky.
Jim Cornette is backstage with JB. He wants to know why last
week Awesome Kong beat up the fans. JB tries to explain but Cornette goes crazy
and starts yelling. JB said that it was either JB getting beat up or the fans
getting beat up and JB didnít want to be beat up. JB tells Cornette that their
audience ratings improved when Kong beats up the fans. Booker and Team 3D
appear. Booker is complaining about why his locker room stinks and Cornette says
that if the locker room is good enough for everyone else, itís good enough for
Booker. Cornette tells Booker if he doesnít like it, he can get dressed in his
car. Booker tells Cornette that he will now use Cornetteís office to change.
Cornette says that he has to go to the ring and by the time he gets back, it
would be good if the three of them arenít still in his office.
Back from commercial break, Cornette is in the ring to talk
about Slammiversary. Booker T and Robert Roode and Samoa Joe have all qualified
for the KOTM Match. AJ Styles will go one on one with Kurt Angle. For the TNA
World Tag Team Championship, it will be LAX defending their titles against Team
3D. Cornette then addresses Booker and Team 3D that he is now heading back to
his office and that they had better not be in his office, but Big Sexy Kevin
Nash appears to enter the ring and speak to Cornette. Nash asks Cornette what
heís going to do if the three are still in his office. Nash asks Cornette if
he wants Nashís help to control the company. Cornette wants to know what Nash
wants in exchange for his help. Nash says that he wants to be the special
enforcer at the KOTM match at Slammiversary. Cornette wants to know why Nash
wants to be in the match so bad and Nash says that the people should have to pay
for that answer. Nash tells Cornette that he has to ask him nicely. Cornette
asks Nash to go clear out his office and will he be the special enforcer at the
Video of The Monster Abyss.
Awesome Kong and Raisha Saeed appear at the top of the ramp
with JB. Kong is offering $25,000.00 to any member of the audience that will
face Kong in the ring.
Awesome Kong, TNA Womenís Champion
With Raisha Saeed
The fan is a good runner but the ring is only so big and Kong
catches up with her. The fan makes it out of the ring but Kong is right behind
her, picks her up by the hair and takes her back to the ring. I know this fan is
a female wrestler but I canít remember her name. Awesome bomb by Awesome Kong, cover and the three count.
Time: 2 minutes.
Winner: Awesome Kong with an awesome bomb
JB is in the back with Booker and Team 3D. Nash appears to
remove them from Cornetteís office. Devon reminds Nash there is only one of
him and three of them. Nash removes a baseball bat from the back of his shirt
and runs the three of them out of the office.
Video of the history between Rhino and Cowboy James Storm.
The match has started backstage between Rhino and Storm
spills out into the arena with Jacqueline behind them. The ref has followed them
out as well but the two men havenít yet made it into the ring. Rhino chases
Jacqueline around the ring but it gives Storm time to get back to his feet.
Storm rolls Rhino back into the ring and the bell rings.
KOTM Qualifying Match
The War Machine Rhino from Detroit, MI
Cowboy James Storm from TN
Storm goes for a cover but canít get the three count.
Jacqueline chokes Rhino while the refís back is turned and we go to COMMERCIAL
BREAK IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MATCH! Back to the action and Rhino is back to his
feet and Storm is having trouble getting back to his feet. Rhino sets up for the
gore, but Storm misses it and delivers a super kick. Rhino rolls out of the ring
and Jacqueline is trying to get him back to his feet to get him back into the
ring. Storm goes out to help and they get him in the ring and goes for the
cover. Storm gets a two count before Rhino gets a shoulder off the mat. Storm
misses the second super kick, Rhino nails Storm with the gore and gets the cover
and the win. Time: 3 minutes.
Winner: The War Machine Rhino with a gore
West tells the audience that the brawl went on for ten
minutes before the bell rang but I didnít time the brawl. I didnít time the
brawl but there was a commercial break in the middle of the battle.
Video of the history between Cage and Tomko. JB is backstage
with Tomko and asks about what Tomko did to Styles last week. Tomko says itís
all about Tomko and not about Styles. Tomko says he will wear Christian Cageís
KOTM Qualifying Match
Tomko from Jacksonville, FL
The Instant Classic Christian Cage from Tampa, FL by way of
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
I donít like Cageís new entrance music as well as I liked
the old entrance music. Tomko goes after Cage before the bell rings while Cage
is on the ropes facing the crowd. Tomko uses Cageís jacket to choke Cage.
Tomko uses a boot to knock Cage from the top turnbuckle down to the floor. As
the ref goes outside to check on Cage, we go to COMMERCIAL BREAK IN THE MIDDLE
OF THE MATCH! Back to the ring, Cage is back in the ring. Tomko power slams Cage
to the mat and goes for the cover but only gets a two count. Tomko doesnít
wrestle, he beats down his opponents and heís doing a good job of beating down
Cage in this match. Tomko goes again for a cover and gets a two count. Cage
fights back but Tomko sends him through the ropes and down to the floor and then
goes outside the ring after Cage. Tomko rolls Cage back into the ring after the
ref pushes the issue. Tomko delivers a suplex and again goes for the cover, but
again Tomko only gets a two count. Cage comes off the top turnbuckle and
delivers a DDT. Both men are now down on the canvas. Cage is back to his feet
first and he continues to go after Tomko. Cage uses the rope to choke Tomko.
Cage delivers an inverted DDT and goes up to deliver a frog splash but Tomko
rolls out of the way and Cage meets the mat. Tomko delivers a clothesline and
goes for the cover and gets a two count before Cage kicks out. Tomko delivers a
choke slam and goes for the cover but he still doesnít get a three count. Cage
slams Tomko to the mat and delivers a frog splash, goes for the cover and Cage
gets a two count. Tomko goes for the cover and gets a two count. Tomko is back
to his feet first, Cage catches Tomko with the unprettier, goes for the cover
and gets the three count. Time: 8 minutes
Winner: The Instant Classic Christian Cage with the
Tomko should not stand on the ropes in order to accomplish
any moves. He doesnít balance well and it looks sloppy.
JB is in the back with Styles and Mrs. Angle. Styles says he
is going to walk out to the ring in a few minutes and tell the whole world what
he has to say and they head toward the ring. Kurt Angle is walking toward the
arena from another direction.
Back from commercial break, Mrs. Angle makes it to the ring
but Angle and Styles are fighting backstage. Angle has decided to handle the
home wrecker in his own way. Angle comes out to the ring to face off with Mrs.
Angle. He grabs the mic she has and asks her who she was expecting. Angle wants
her to tell the whole world how she ruined their marriage and what she did to
their family. He starts to call her a whore and she slaps him. Angle takes off
his jacket but Styles appears to save her. Styles delivers a beat down to Angle
as Team 3D, Booker and Tomko appear to help out Angle. Cage appears to help
Styles. Ray isnít doing much in the ring because he has rescued the mic. This
beat down may be longer than any match that occurred earlier tonight. Iím not
sure if it was because my DVR cut off and none too soon.