iMPACT

May 29, 2008  – Recap by Sassy

 

TNA Wrestling

CROSS THE LINE

 

Last week on iMPACT, it appeared to be the Kurt and Karen Angle show. It started as an argument between the Mr. and Mrs. and then a beat down of AJ Styles by Team 3D and Tomko ending with a chair shot by Kurt Angle.

 

I’ve had a lot of catching up to do, allowing my DVR to record the weekly iMPACT results. Sorry about being so slow, but I’m anxious to see if I have missed anything important. After seeing what happened last week, I don’t think I have missed anything of great importance.

 

iMPACT is broadcast from Universal Studios, Orlando, FL on the Spike TV Network

 

Ringside announcers: Mike Tenay and Don West

Ring announcer: David Penzer

Ringside valet: SoCal Val

Backstage interviews: Jeremy Borash and Crystal Loutham

 

AJ’s REVENGE

 

Mike Tenay tells the audience that tonight AJ has important news about his relationship with Karen Angle (Don’t do it, Don West, allow me; YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!)

 

Brother Ray & Brother Devon of Team 3D enter the arena with the mic in their hand. Team 3D seems to have it in for Hector Guerrero and LAX. Before Ray can get the mic to his mouth, Booker T enters the arena, not dressed for ring action, but with mic in hand. Booker seems to have forms an alliance with Team 3D. Ray says Team 3D and Booker T are referred to as The Bad Guys and they do bad things to good people. Ray says that Tomko is getting ready for his King of the Mountain qualifying match and Kurt Angle is out in Hollywood filming his next project. Does that mean that Kurt and Karen WILL get their own show and stop slopping up iMPACT every week?  We can only hope. Ray lowers a picture of AJ Styles into the ring and Ray says that the picture is the new iMPACT trading card and it will soon be a collector’s item because no one can find Styles right now. Ray calls Styles a scumbag and a wife stealer and a home wrecker. The audience initially boos Ray but they seem to change their tune after Ray tells it like it is. Tenay says there is no proof of those accusations. Booker informs the audience that he is Royalty. Booker says that TNA has not kept their end of the bargain and kept the promises they made to him. I should have timed this talk session….it just goes on and on and on. Booker promises that at the KOTM, he will prove why he is simply the best. Devon then takes the mic to complain about Hector and LAX. LAX’s entrance theme begins and Salinas enters the arena followed by Homicide, Hernandez and Guerrero. Guerrero has the mic and tells them that LAX will face Team 3D at Slammiversary but they don’t want to wait, they want to start the fight tonight. Christian Cage enters the arena with Rhino and he, naturally, has a mic in his hand. Cage says that he is sorry to interrupt. Cage wants to respond to Booker’s conversation. Cage calls Booker “Bob Marley” and Cage doesn’t care how many times Booker has been WCW Champion because Booker has not been TNA champion and he is nothing at TNA until he has held that championship. Rhino and Cage will qualify at the KOTM match tonight according to Cage. Samoan Submission Machine Samoa Joe enters the arena through the crowd, walking up into the crowd, with the title belt over his shoulder. Joe tells everyone that the man who walks out of Memphis, Tennessee with the belt will be the man who walks into Memphis as the champ and that is Joe. Joe tells Booker that for everything Booker claims to be, Joe says he is making it easy for Booker to find Joe. Joe says that Cage and Rhino and LAX put their differences aside and beat on the three guys in the ring. Everyone enters the ring as Team 3D and Booker bail out of the ring and head up the entrance ramp. Styles shows up on the ramp with a chair in his hand and he goes after Team 3D and Booker with the chair. Jeremy Borash is backstage with Karen Angle. It seems Styles has asked Mrs. Angle to be at the iMPACT Zone tonight.

 

Commercial break.

 

Recap of what happened before commercial break.

 

Lauren is in the back with American Idol finalist Ace Young to perform at the wedding of SoCal Val and Black Machismo Jay Lethal. Val, Lethal and The Guru Sonjay Dutt. Dutt and Lethal are after the Rock ‘n Rave Infection. Kong and Raisha Saeed appear to tell everyone that Kong is out

 

Lance Hoyt & Jimmy Rave, Rock ‘n Infection

With Christy Hemme

Vs.

The Guru Sonjay Dutt & Black Machismo Jay Lethal

With SoCal Val & Ace Young

 

Hermie Sadler is at the announcer’s table to provide guest commentary during the match. Dutt comes out with a lot of speed taking down Rave before tagging in Lethal Rave tags in Hoyt. Hoyt takes on Lethal and then tags in Rave. Lethal takes down Rave and tags in Sonjay. A miscommunication between Dutt and Lethal allows Hoyt to enter the ring and knock Dutt into Lethal. Dutt gets double teamed by Hoyt & Rave before Rave goes for the cover but Dutt kicks out. Rave tags in Lethal. Hoyt goes for the cover and gets a two count. Both men tag in their partners and Lethal enters the ring full of speed but Hemme catches Lethal’s leg and takes him down to the mat. Hoyt enters the ring but Young trips Hoyt as Lethal goes for the cover and gets the three count. Time: 4 minutes.

 

Winners: Black Machismo Jay Lethal & The Guru Sonjay Dutt

With an assist by Ace Young.

 

Lethal tells Dutt to get back in the ring because he has something to ask him and we to

 

Commercial break.

 

Back from commercial break, Dutt, Val and Lethal are in the ring. Lethal asks Dutt why he hasn’t responded to being best man of Lethal at the wedding. Dutt accepts and Young takes the mic and says that the big surprise is on the screen.  We have a music video by Young, complete with Val and Lethal.

 

While that’s going on, I wish TNA would explain why the match only last four minutes and why Lance Hoyt is being partnered with Jimmy Rave. Rave is an excellent speed and high-flying ring worker. Hoyt may be able to wrestle, but the fans will never know because he is scheduled to work against smaller quicker wrestlers.

 

Angelina Love and Velvet Sky are backstage with Lauren in order to complain about the “wenches” in the locker room.

 

Commercial break.

 

Back from commercial break,

 

Angelina Love representing the Beautiful People from Canada

With Velvet Sky

Vs.

Roxxi Laveaux from New Orleans, LA

 

Laveaux charges into the ring and goes after Love with the referee ringing the bell as Laveaux hits the ring. It appears that Glamour Boy Shane Sewell has come back to referee at TNA. Sky interferes in the match giving Love time to get the edge on Laveaux. Laveaux goes for the cover and gets a two count before going over and knocking Sky off of the ring apron. Sky sprays something in Laveaux’s face while the ref’s back is turned, Love goes for the cover and gets the three count. Time: Barely 4 minutes.

 

Winner: Angelina Love with help from Velvet Sky

 

After the match is over, Love and Sky put a brown paper bag over Laveaux’s head but Gail Kim appears on crutches and O.D.B. appears at the top of the entrance ramp. ODB grabs a crutch and heads to the ring to chase away Love and Sky.

 

Jim Cornette is backstage with JB. He wants to know why last week Awesome Kong beat up the fans. JB tries to explain but Cornette goes crazy and starts yelling. JB said that it was either JB getting beat up or the fans getting beat up and JB didn’t want to be beat up. JB tells Cornette that their audience ratings improved when Kong beats up the fans. Booker and Team 3D appear. Booker is complaining about why his locker room stinks and Cornette says that if the locker room is good enough for everyone else, it’s good enough for Booker. Cornette tells Booker if he doesn’t like it, he can get dressed in his car. Booker tells Cornette that he will now use Cornette’s office to change. Cornette says that he has to go to the ring and by the time he gets back, it would be good if the three of them aren’t still in his office.

 

Commercial break.

 

Back from commercial break, Cornette is in the ring to talk about Slammiversary. Booker T and Robert Roode and Samoa Joe have all qualified for the KOTM Match. AJ Styles will go one on one with Kurt Angle. For the TNA World Tag Team Championship, it will be LAX defending their titles against Team 3D. Cornette then addresses Booker and Team 3D that he is now heading back to his office and that they had better not be in his office, but Big Sexy Kevin Nash appears to enter the ring and speak to Cornette. Nash asks Cornette what he’s going to do if the three are still in his office. Nash asks Cornette if he wants Nash’s help to control the company. Cornette wants to know what Nash wants in exchange for his help. Nash says that he wants to be the special enforcer at the KOTM match at Slammiversary. Cornette wants to know why Nash wants to be in the match so bad and Nash says that the people should have to pay for that answer. Nash tells Cornette that he has to ask him nicely. Cornette asks Nash to go clear out his office and will he be the special enforcer at the KOTM match.

 

Video of The Monster Abyss.

 

Awesome Kong and Raisha Saeed appear at the top of the ramp with JB. Kong is offering $25,000.00 to any member of the audience that will face Kong in the ring.

 

Commercial break.

 

Awesome Kong, TNA Women’s Champion

With Raisha Saeed

Vs.

Lela Bates(?)

 

The fan is a good runner but the ring is only so big and Kong catches up with her. The fan makes it out of the ring but Kong is right behind her, picks her up by the hair and takes her back to the ring. I know this fan is a female wrestler but I can’t remember her name.  Awesome bomb by Awesome Kong, cover and the three count. Time: 2 minutes.

 

Winner: Awesome Kong with an awesome bomb

 

JB is in the back with Booker and Team 3D. Nash appears to remove them from Cornette’s office. Devon reminds Nash there is only one of him and three of them. Nash removes a baseball bat from the back of his shirt and runs the three of them out of the office.

 

Video of the history between Rhino and Cowboy James Storm.

 

Commercial break.

 

The match has started backstage between Rhino and Storm spills out into the arena with Jacqueline behind them. The ref has followed them out as well but the two men haven’t yet made it into the ring. Rhino chases Jacqueline around the ring but it gives Storm time to get back to his feet. Storm rolls Rhino back into the ring and the bell rings.

 

KOTM Qualifying Match

 

The War Machine Rhino from Detroit, MI

Vs.

Cowboy James Storm from TN

With Jacqueline

 

Storm goes for a cover but can’t get the three count. Jacqueline chokes Rhino while the ref’s back is turned and we go to COMMERCIAL BREAK IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MATCH! Back to the action and Rhino is back to his feet and Storm is having trouble getting back to his feet. Rhino sets up for the gore, but Storm misses it and delivers a super kick. Rhino rolls out of the ring and Jacqueline is trying to get him back to his feet to get him back into the ring. Storm goes out to help and they get him in the ring and goes for the cover. Storm gets a two count before Rhino gets a shoulder off the mat. Storm misses the second super kick, Rhino nails Storm with the gore and gets the cover and the win. Time: 3 minutes.

 

Winner: The War Machine Rhino with a gore

 

West tells the audience that the brawl went on for ten minutes before the bell rang but I didn’t time the brawl. I didn’t time the brawl but there was a commercial break in the middle of the battle.

 

Video of the history between Cage and Tomko. JB is backstage with Tomko and asks about what Tomko did to Styles last week. Tomko says it’s all about Tomko and not about Styles. Tomko says he will wear Christian Cage’s blood tonight.

 

Commercial break.

 

KOTM Qualifying Match

 

Tomko from Jacksonville, FL

Vs.

The Instant Classic Christian Cage from Tampa, FL by way of Toronto, Ontario, Canada

 

I don’t like Cage’s new entrance music as well as I liked the old entrance music. Tomko goes after Cage before the bell rings while Cage is on the ropes facing the crowd. Tomko uses Cage’s jacket to choke Cage. Tomko uses a boot to knock Cage from the top turnbuckle down to the floor. As the ref goes outside to check on Cage, we go to COMMERCIAL BREAK IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MATCH! Back to the ring, Cage is back in the ring. Tomko power slams Cage to the mat and goes for the cover but only gets a two count. Tomko doesn’t wrestle, he beats down his opponents and he’s doing a good job of beating down Cage in this match. Tomko goes again for a cover and gets a two count. Cage fights back but Tomko sends him through the ropes and down to the floor and then goes outside the ring after Cage. Tomko rolls Cage back into the ring after the ref pushes the issue. Tomko delivers a suplex and again goes for the cover, but again Tomko only gets a two count. Cage comes off the top turnbuckle and delivers a DDT. Both men are now down on the canvas. Cage is back to his feet first and he continues to go after Tomko. Cage uses the rope to choke Tomko. Cage delivers an inverted DDT and goes up to deliver a frog splash but Tomko rolls out of the way and Cage meets the mat. Tomko delivers a clothesline and goes for the cover and gets a two count before Cage kicks out. Tomko delivers a choke slam and goes for the cover but he still doesn’t get a three count. Cage slams Tomko to the mat and delivers a frog splash, goes for the cover and Cage gets a two count. Tomko goes for the cover and gets a two count. Tomko is back to his feet first, Cage catches Tomko with the unprettier, goes for the cover and gets the three count. Time: 8 minutes

 

Winner: The Instant Classic Christian Cage with the unprettier

 

Tomko should not stand on the ropes in order to accomplish any moves. He doesn’t balance well and it looks sloppy.

 

JB is in the back with Styles and Mrs. Angle. Styles says he is going to walk out to the ring in a few minutes and tell the whole world what he has to say and they head toward the ring. Kurt Angle is walking toward the arena from another direction.

 

Commercial break.

 

Back from commercial break, Mrs. Angle makes it to the ring but Angle and Styles are fighting backstage. Angle has decided to handle the home wrecker in his own way. Angle comes out to the ring to face off with Mrs. Angle. He grabs the mic she has and asks her who she was expecting. Angle wants her to tell the whole world how she ruined their marriage and what she did to their family. He starts to call her a whore and she slaps him. Angle takes off his jacket but Styles appears to save her. Styles delivers a beat down to Angle as Team 3D, Booker and Tomko appear to help out Angle. Cage appears to help Styles. Ray isn’t doing much in the ring because he has rescued the mic. This beat down may be longer than any match that occurred earlier tonight. I’m not sure if it was because my DVR cut off and none too soon.

 

 

TNA iMPACT !! / MAY 8, 2008
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